Kenya Stockholm Blog

Tumbo Kubwas Vs Six Packs!

Today, Saturday 16th August, Kenya-Stockholm’s Wazee wa Kazi Football Team will be playing against the “Young Turks” at Enskede IP (Enskedevägen 115) in Stockholm city. The match, which has attracted massive talk within the Kenyan community in Stockholm, will kick off at 15.00 hrs. Hot in the air is whether the Young Turks will live up to expectation by proving their talents against the Wazees for the first time since the wazees hanged boots a few years ago.

The Turks are facing an uphill task because on the basis of the mountains of ugali the Wazees have brought down over the years (as compared to the Turks), the many Januaries they have crashed and the “veteran profiles” of some of the Wazees in Kenya-Stockholm’s football albums, the Turks will have to employ their latest “tichital” tactics mastered through Play Stations and other video games to challenge the Wazees.

It is a promising match which will see Jacob Opande between the posts with Mark Gaya, Dan Aroka and Steve Biko tackling the Turks at the backline. Mark Gaya is famous for having been the pioneer Kenya-Stockholm Football Coach in them days, an illustrious contribution from where the Turks picked the pieces to set up a formidable team expected to give the wazees a run for their money. It will be interesting to see how the Turks will go past sweeper Steve Biko who is known to be capable of “sweeping any moving object” along the way.

Wazee Strategies from World Cup
In the mid-field will be Mwaura Kajora and Don Clay Onyango. Despite the wazees having put on some weight as a result of the “nyama choma effect”, the extra meat that has found a home on the bellies of some of the wazees is expected to be of some advantage by adding extra and critical vertical gravity to propel the fat bodies forward as things get hot in the field. In preparation for the match, both Clay and Kajora have been lifting a lot of metal to keep fit. After three weeks of training, Kajora has reportedly lost 0.02 kgs (the best news for Kajora this summer) while Clay has reportedly developed “2 packs” as he works to fix the other four! In fact, Clay’s excursions in Brazil to watch the World Cup brought a lot of new strategies in the Wazee’s camp which the Turks will have to contend with.

The three key strikers namely Ofore, Joseph Goga and Steve Shabir are the men to tame if the Turks do not want to be Braziled. This is because Ofore and Steve have an inexplicable and unmatched ability to coordinate both in the battle field and off-shore. With the surreptitious and quick thinking Goga linking them up, the Turks manning the backline will have a daunting task, not just in stopping the coordination of thetrio but also in understanding how the combination actually works. In short, these wazees are agile, swift and unstoppable although it remains to be seen whether the many years ya kulea watoi, ugali, nyama choma na mashugli have eroded their speed. You will have to be in the field to be able to judge.

Talent from Märsta United
That brings us to the two goal-getters who will be expected by the wazee fraternity to deliver that ka punch called victory. Charles Otieno Owiyo aka Otie of Märsta United Amigos Pacheko Dala Pacho International Club in combination with Mzee William of Balozi Champions Kuteklezia Football Club are two dazzling veterans who might as well turn out to be the stars of the day. Whether or not any balls will pass through the Turk’s goalie depends on the two. Otie is very abrasive and, over the years, he has mastered the art of breaking through defences with ease. On the other hand, William has two qualities which will, no doubt waste the vijanas vibaya sana.

That is, Mzee William can jump 10 meters into the air while he has what the experts call “staying power”. The catch is that any ball flying 10 meters in the air around the goal area is a potential score and this includes all corners, loops and overheads. You really need to be there to testify to this. When he jumps, I guess the Turks will only have to stand there with their heads pointing the sky as they wait to see the effect which might be a score.

Secondly, William never gets tied and some Kenyans have postulated that he might have been running a lot of marathon in them days as a young Turk. The Turks should have been practicing round the clock to match his stamina otherwise they will be outflanked. Needless to say, there will be Makozewe who will be playing at the touch lines, recording every detail of the match.

As the curtains of summer closes down slowly with visible changes in the weather, the Wazee wa Kazi-Vijana football match will constitute the ultimate Kenyan evening of the year. Come with your drinks, choma and other edibles. You will be responsible for your own stomach! KSB has a tip that samosas will be up and selling at affordable prices and with so many 2014 Nyama chomazz already history, it could probably be time to come to a closure with this necessary event pitting the tumbo kubwas on one side and six packs on the other. It is a typical wait and see game!

Okoth Osewe