How Benta’s New Jungu Hubby Was Snatched in Kenya

In this latest case, Benta came to Sweden in the spirit of looking for greener pastures. She easily obtained a visa through her nice sister whose credentials were so impeachable that when she put her name for her and stated that Benta would stay with her, there were no complications because the sister’s name was in the “white books” of the Swedish establishment.

The life span of a visa is three months and if you can manage some magic at the Immigration department, it could always be extended to six months after which the holder has to return home.

When she arrived, Benta was given the necessary “intro” to Stockholm city. You don’t begin to talk about papers during the first week of arrival because this is the time to get the “newly arrived” some space to absorb the “technological shock” so that they can begin to take it izzi.

There are both the basics and the details. Benta began to learn that in Sweden, every house is fitted with a fridge, an electric cooker and internet connection. The information about the net came when she requested to go to some nearby Coffee shop so that she could send mail to friends that she had arrived safely. When she learnt that the internet is in the house and that she could surf as much as she wanted, it was a big excitement. You can call it freedom of information and the sky was the limit.

After two weeks and when she appeared settled and relaxed, her nice sister began to take her through the “Paper paces”. She needed to understand that officially, she was in Sweden on a temporary (tourist) visa and that according to the authorities, she needed to get back home when her visa expired. This explanation was easy and she understood stuff very quickly. Once this was fixed, the next stage was to organize how she could wire a “Paper maker” and Kenya Stockholmers know how it’s done. It’s not that simple and it is not our business to get into details because there is no time.

Benta is good looking and punde si punde, she landed an elderly jungu who had never surfed the holy valleys of an African beauty. The Jungu was so excited that in a matter of months, Benta had moved in and was doing the dishes, vacuum cleaning, doing the laundry and even introducing the jungu to some Kenyan food to spice up things. First, she worked out the Ugali magic then the Chapo whizz, the mandazi beat before moving to the Sambusa triangle and other well known Kenyan delicacies. The jungu was liking every bit of it I seh! A feminine touch of African origin was inna de house!

Besides, the Jungu had been divorced long time and during the ukamwe days when manyake was scarce, he was doing it alone in the bathtub. To prove it, he showed Benta the worn-out skin on his hand and stuff. Now, Benta was there with all her charms. In the meantime, Benta’s Kenyan contacts were pumping her with info about how she needed to carry out the program and convince the jungu that she is the girl he has been waiting for and it worked quite well.

For example, she was told to forget about the jungu’s advanced age and always hold hands/kiss in public, be happy and do everything to maintain the smile on the jungu’s face. When the jungu is with friends, make them feel really jealous – touch the jungu as occasion requires. Smoothen his hair, roll your index finger down his chin, look at him in the eyes with a smile then whisper “I love you darling” in his ear then kiss him immediately. This sends the message to the audience that you are sharing a sweet secret! Don’t overdo it though.

Another thing Benta was told: Don’t avoid the reality that that “the project” is far much older than you. Accept this reality but let him know that you like him as a person and that his age is secondary to your love. You can add that you like elderly jungus because they are much more experienced. You are not interested in some teeny dude who will waste your time, you could say.

If need be, sing to him the song “I am in love with a man who is twice my age… am in love with a man who is twice my age” to cover up things during difficult times. If he likes the move, propose that he buy or download the “hot number” because it makes you think about him “all the time”. Request that you upload it in your MP3 player and make it the number one song. Sometimes, you can go overboard by saying that you like his grey hair, bald head and other “chronological features” like wrinkles and crooked teeth (if this is what he has). After much pumping and practice, it was time for Benta to harvest the rewards.

Enter Alicia with secret contacts
Benta’s charms had melted the jungu’s heart and they soon ended at the Immigration department with an application. Then it was time for Benta to travel back to Kenya to put the final touches on mapepe before she travels back to live happily ever after. She took a KLM flight to Kenya and agreed with the jungu that as soon as she gets an appointment with the Swedish Embassy for an interview, the jungu would fly to Kenya to be by her side during the interview. This would underline to the Swedish authorities how serious things were. Things did go as planned.

Benta got her interview letter and after alerting her jungu husband, he flew to Kenya just on time. A jungu could not have missed this kind of big day. Interestingly, the jungu went down to the village to fetch Benta and he was loaded with Kronazz. Four days after his arrival and introduction to Benta’s paroz, things began to change.

Alicia, Benta’s cousin, had been lurking around when the jungu was in the vicinity and somehow, he caught the jungu’s eyes. She was much more cuter than Benta with a nice and better shape, sexy eyes and delicate bums that she swung provocatively as she served the jungu tea. Her boobs were strategically exposed in a carefully selected bra and as she bent over the coffee table to serve the jungu, the visitor was made to get a good view of the “tempting to touch” goodies. Alicia had been invited to help with work when the jungu was around because it was a big day for Benta. It did not appear like there was something fishy but an interesting twist is that the jungu did manage to take her contact without drawing much attention.

In this day of mobile phones, it was just a question of exchanging a piece of paper. One thing is that jungus are never afraid of asking for someone’s contact as long as they are interested in something. When the exchange happened, Benta was in the other room improving on make-up.

A young boy who had been “enjoying the jungu sight” at the corner did inform Benta about the exchange but she never bothered because it was beyond imagination that anything could be afoot. This was a jungu she had wired all the way from chambele and to imagine that a relative who was actually playing the maid could make any move was basically high treason. Kumbe! Things appeared to have been rolling so smoothly and there was no room for suspicion as all eyes were set on Benta and her new jungu hubby.

Punde si punde, the situation began to look really bad as the day of the interview drew closer. The jungu was not responding to phone calls as he used to while Alicia kept on appearing and disappearing without anybody getting to understand her movements. Sources close to her reported that she was unusually wrapping her goods in short skirts while she had taken to make-up, something she never used to do. Two days before the interview, the jungu did manage to answer the phone and Benta was relieved. She thought that something nasty had happened to him. That was before she got the shock of her life.

Slowly and carefully, the jungu began to break the news – that he had fallen in love with Alicia and that he had decided to terminate their relationship. As Benta entered into shock, the jungu retreated into Alicia’s arms at the local Hotel. When the dust settled, the jungu led Alicia to the Swedish Embassy in Nairobi and declared that Alicia was now his legally married wife whom he needed in Sweden at the soonest time possible. Benta had been dumped.

Alicia’s papers were then processed, the jungu bought her air ticket and she is currently in Stocky. A bitter enmity now exists between Alicia and Benta’s friends while Benta’s sister is said to hate Alicia like leprosy. Alicia has put up a tough face despite the unfavorable circumstances. She is contented that at least, she has her papers and her new life in Sweden. She will one day sort it out with Benta when the time comes but for now, she is the Lady of the house with full powers. In the meantime, Benta is in Kenya, stuck and paperless. Relatives are cursing Alicia but it’s too late. Alicia has added a new dimension in Kenya-Stockholm where “anything is possible”.

Okoth Osewe

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A blog for News and Events happening around Kenyans in Stockholm.

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