- Lady Chipukizi pondering her next move
Lady Chipukizi is a paperless Kenyan chick who is said to be creating a lot of havoc in Kenya Stockholm. The situation is so serious that alarm bells have been sounded at KSB headquarters. As a result of her underground machinations, reputations of respectable Kenyans are crumbling, relationships are collapsing, friendships are threatened, hot gossip has filled the air while tension is also growing in several quarters.
As word went out, no one understands how she landed in Kenya-Stockholm. So far, what has been gathered is that she has been gaining accommodation by sweet-talking Kenya-Stockholmers using her strong persuasive power and once she creates havoc in a home, she moves on.
Her target is men (whether married or single) and once she gets into a flat, she is said to have a unique way of trapping men. Within a span of eleven months, she has been through with five Kenyan men and the last one was dumped only three weeks ago as she graduated into Swedish men. She now has a jungu whom, according to intel, she has promised to “work on” until mapepe surfaces through the Immigration department.
Chipukizi snatched the jungu from a Kenyan woman who invited her for dinner as part of “solidarity with a paperless fellow citizen” still struggling to make ends meet. During the dinner, the woman was also supposed to give her long-term advice on “survival in Kenya-Stockholm” but after some time (when they made several contacts) the woman’s jungu boyfriend had been taken.
The woman told a friend that she still doesn’t understand how the whole thing unfolded because she noticed too late that her BF was dating Chipukizi clandestinely. When she tried to intervene, she was dumped by the jungu who told her point blank that he no longer “had feelings for her”. To date, she regrets that first dinner which was served with red wine where she suspects, Chipukizi took her boyfriend’s phone number secretly and later began underground movements that overthrew her as First Lady.
When Chipukizi was earlier introduced to a married Kenyan couple with two kids to help with baby-sitting when the couple was at work, the woman of the house had to show her the door weeks later when she began to smell a rat. At first, things were working quite well when Chipukizi introduced the woman to new shades of make-up which tremendously improved the woman’s looks. Another advantage when she moved in was that the bill for hair-dos went down to zero because she happens to be an expert salonist. However, trouble began when Chipukizi began to gradually bring new changes inna de house.
According to the storo, the woman’s hubby likes tea in the evening but the problem has been that the guy has to order tea every night before the woman can fix a cup and when there is no order, the guy goes to bed without tea and no one cares. Although the guy can also fix tea by himself, he is known to be lazy at such stuff especially when he is watching football. Once she gathered the evening arrangement and the man’s requirements, Chipukizi began to pack the thermos flask with tea after fixing the evening meal and punde si punde, the guy needed to make no orders because tea was flowing automatically after meals, the way tap water flows in the Water Closet when you are brushing your teeth in the morning. According to the system, Chipukizi cooked the family meal after which anybody who felt like tea could serve himself/herself from the kitchen and everybody was happy.
Ground Nuts
The tea thing came after a new level of cleanliness was also introduced by Chipukizi in the house. Suddenly, the house began to get in order with clothes well packed, furniture well arranged, the mountain of dirty clothes in the wash room reduced to zero, the kitchen licked clean on a daily basis and the system of dumping dirty plates in the kitchen WC abolished with immediate effect. Strategically, Chipukizi began to play the maid consciously as she looked for further opportunities to push her agenda.
Once the automatic “tea after meal” addition appeared to have been accepted, the chick began to move an extra mile. She embarked on a program of preventing the guy from making that walk to the kitchen by serving him tea in the living room as the family watched TV. The trick was easy. After meals, she would transfer the whole flask of “Kenya tea” into the living room accompanied by cups, sugar on the ready and spoons well placed for self service. She was even ready to make extra tea if need be but she soon discovered that the ka guy only consumed two cups then he was done.
It is at the point of serving the man on his seat that the woman of the house began to smell a rat. She raised the matter with the hubby privately in the bed room but the man brushed it off, saying that he did not see any problem with the arrangement. The guy argued that the family needed to use the services of Chipukizi to the maximum because she wasn’t paying rent and the argument seemed to have sunk in well. “Let us be served like Kings” the man is reported to have said. After a brief discussion, the matter appeared to have been settled with the understanding that the idea was to exploit the chick to the maximum. Then, the chick made a new and interesting move.
She had bumped into Kenya ground nuts at one of the immigrant shops in the suburbs and bought a pack using her little pocket money. That night, the groundnuts found their way into the sitting room to go with the tea then the man made a huge blunder. He commented to the effect that Chipukizi seemed to know “how to take care of men” and that was the end of it. Ground nuts are said to increase “spungetos” in men, allegedly increasing their “fire power” although it was not clear whether this is what the guy was referring to when he praised Chipukizi.
Nevertheless, the guy noticed that his woman was not happy with the comment and he knew that there would be a serious tiff once they hit the bed room. When the man began to defend Chipukizi once again claiming that she was just trying to please the family in exchange for help with accommodation, the wife went berserk. An extra explanation that the comment “was just a joke” did not sell either.
Shouts of “she has to go” began to echo from the bed room and when Chipukizi learnt about the crisis, she understood that her time in the flat appeared to have been over. The wife called the Kenyan friend who introduced Chipukizi to the family and ordered her to pick her up immediately. By the time she was shown the door, the couple had already entered into a deep relationship crisis.
The guy’s position was that it was wrong for his wife to have become suspicious because of an innocent comment while the woman’s view was that Chipukizi was making advances to capture her man using tricks from Kenya but that the man was not seeing it. She claimed that Chipukizi had no respect for her after the family accepted to accommodate her. Once she was thrown out, Chipukizi opened her own “BBC channel” to tell her part of the story. It is through this channel that she is creating a lot of havoc.
She began telling contacts that the guy is being controlled by the wife whom, she claimed, did not know how to cook properly. She manufactured a lot of negative gossip about the woman which soon filtered through the numerous Kenya-Stockholm channels and now, the crisis between the couple is part of “hot gossip” doing the rounds.
Once she was chucked out of the house, Chipukizi worked her way into the crib of a Kenyan bachalero whom she confused at “Little Nairobi” and walked away with him the same night. KSB agents are following her escapades but in the meantime, readers ought to take note that a new sensation by the name “Chipukizi” is in town and the latest is that she has a stolen jungu BF.
Okoth Osewe
About the Author
Chipukizi has sworn to live in Sweden through all means whether good or bad,even if breaking homes.She is very calculative, sly and good at exploiting men.