Reading through Masubuko’s story obliged me to affirm that it’s not only Nigger-bulls who hijack spouses when the other partner is away. Though uncommon, there is a worse breed known as the hungry Swedish women thirsting for Nigger-bulls.
When I finished my first full marathon, I felt a deep sense of contentment. It was not just a simple act of training but proof that I had survived, that I had learnt valuable lessons and that I was re-discovering my own improved brand of happiness and satisfaction. That I had gone through all the phases of a bitter betrayal and I survived.
At 30, the last thing I expected was to find myself separated and living with my family in Nairobi. Just 5 years before, my heart was bursting with, what I thought, was unwavering love of my new found African fiancée. Like many women with high expectations and low patience threshold, I had entertained a simplistic view of marriage. I thought that love is all we needed to build a home together, bear children and live happily ever after. I was mistaken.
The reality was that we were starkly unprepared for the battle that would ensue – the bleak moments of silence, the subtle put-downs, the mounting irritations and the monstrous realization that just because I had taken a flight to Stockholm to live with him – my love – he would not suddenly metamorphosize into a strong and emotionally honest man I had dreamed of.
I didn’t escape the common phobia in Sweden-that I was a “paper searching girl”, just an opportunist and not a human being searching for love and affection. Irritably, this situation came from a man who had taken me from the hands of my parents, with all promises of love.
After several years together, trust was created. Like every other `Paperless’ person, I yearned for freedom: Freedom of speech, finance and movement. I had to return to Kenya to wait for my papers so I packed my luggage happily, hopping to join him in a short while after my paper problem was fixed so that we could live together happily ever after.
The weekend before leaving, I invited my `best-friend’ for a picnic at a near-by beach. She turned up in the company of a white Swedish friend and her daughter. After feasting, bathing in water and sand, I invited them for dinner at home. Little did I know that I had just hosted my competitor who would ruin my romantic future for ever. The emails and text messages that followed proved that my African X had fallen for the Swedish woman instantly. After a confrontation, they both promised to behave. I trusted them.
The promise was broken immediately I stepped out of Sweden. With all the freedom and space, he gathered all words and guts to convince the white woman that I left after a break up.
Like Osewe’s story on Masumbuko, this white woman had tasted Nigga-goodies before and she couldn’t avoid the temptation. Telling her to keep off was like telling a two year old kid to keep off from a jar full of cookies. She dug even deeper and it worked well. In fact, the least I expected was to be switched with a white Swedish woman. This was because my would be hubby talked ill of Swedish women and so, for me, the abrupt turn of events was very ironical.
Suddenly, it emerged that my “best friend”, whom I had invited for dinner, was to visit her family in Kenya that December together with her white Swedish woman friend and my X. Feeling a sense of pain and embarrassment that I could not bear, I took a stunning decision to run away from my problems.
I bought a ticket and landed in Botswana in the safe, loving and kind hearts of my brothers. But my problem was not yet over. I was haunted repeatedly, day in day out. Worse still, I dared not speak about my pain to anyone. Honestly, the thought of opening up froze my blood. I never wanted any one to carry my pain. They all knew how much I loved this guy. I knew that it could have been too painful for them too.
Bitter lessons and challenges of a new beginning
Being unable to talk about my situation was an addition to my problems because they kept enquiring about his welfare. I lived in a skin and skeleton love and it pained me a lot. What followed can make up a hilarious and poignant movie which could feature the white woman grazing happily in what, I had assumed, was destined to be my life time garden of bliss.
Separation, just like divorce, is an ugly word in the victim’s vocabulary. It smacks of failure, bitterness, broken promises and lack of effort. On the ladder of disenchantment, it pushes you up another rung and in moments of despair, separation or divorce invites you to doubt almost everything about yourself. It brings with it a wave of loneliness, a faint but constant sense of panic and the feeling that had you been a more supportive/stronger/sexier partner complete with `papers’, things might have acted out different.
Making a mistake is one thing and admitting the mistake to yourself is another. As I did my morning runs, I constantly told and re-told myself that no matter how bitter the betrayal, there are always positive lessons to be learnt. I worked hard in digging out the positives. It turned out to be a blessing to me and to my community.
My therapy of choice was not the usual one. I didn’t dissolve into another relationship but instead, I bought a real nice jogging kit and turned my legs and thighs into running machines. I made a promise to myself that no matter how many mistakes I make in trying to become a runner, an amateur in this case, I would celebrate my failures as potential triumph and my triumphs as something to be lauded.
Not surprisingly, and as a novice marathoner, I made all classic and bad choices. I ran without stretching, ran too fast, burned out quickly and bought second hand shoes that were not compatible with my feet. But, as I got used to muscle cramps and went through other experiences, I saw my new found hobby as a challenge than as a failed experiment.
I took advice from experienced runners like Paul Target and made weekly rehearsals. I learnt the difference between “tempo running”, “cross-training” and “interval running”. Slowly, but surely, my whole self corresponded with my desire to run. I sweat out all my past and began a new and interesting chapter of life. Looking back, I truly thank God for the turn of events. Honestly, I had jumped down a cliff that was too steep to climb back to the top.
Finishing my first marathon was a big achievement. I knew for sure that though I was no longer engaged romantically, I was still intact. I was no longer in denial but in recovery and that I was no longer ignorant about how important it is to nurture budding desires with a little extra care. I understood how important it is to follow inner-self instinct to the end. How important it is to let closing doors close without a bang and how to let others open other doors softly and silently.
I learnt how important it is to respect and practice self love. I learned to love myself unconditionally and to never let anyone come between myself and my ambitions. I had denied myself too much love. I just gave it all and got very little if not, nothing. I learned to smile, just a smile, even if my whole self was breaking down.
I realized that the most important element in life is to dream and never to stop dreaming until the dream is born to become reality. I leant that in life, there is no such thing as a high hurdle that you cannot jump over if at all you are willing to jump. Life will always bring forth your desires. But, the big challenge is how high you are willing to jump outside your known comfort zone. My X was so unapologetic because for him, he never promised me a garden of roses when he took me from my parent’s hands but thank God because I have moved on.
Shiku Steve
About the Author
Shish,you mean all this time we ran,swam ,joked and laughed together you and woulds all over your heart? wait a minute,was that engagement ring still an eye blind fold? No,I still cant believe this.Why did you deny yourself so much?YOu dint have to be embarrassed for someones dim-witted move.May be you werent `light’ enough for him.He properbly needed a more glowing stuff.Too much light burns.Give him some years.
Well,I must say you are very strong.If I had just one wish to make light now I would wish to see this nigga guy.Just a sight of him.Honestly Shish,a guy cant just wake up nad decide to cheat on you.You must have persevered thinking he will change.You forgot once a cheater always a cheater.
Congrats on your runs.Was on your site and will definitly help to save baby Brian.You are such a blessing to those needy souls.If you were still stuck in that darm relationship who would have saved baby Brian?
thanks for sharing that amazing journey,am sure there are many pple here in Stockholm going thro’ hardships an its encouraging to see that nomatter how low one might get we can all rise again by beleiving in ourselves.thanks again an all the best.I bet ya guy lost the 80% an got stuck wit the 20% if yu know wha i mean.
You got to be kidding me!I got no online comment ,not so ever.I need to catch the next flight to Nairobi.And say whatever I wonna say one on one.
What a moving story.You must be very strong.Part of this story made some headline in Stockholm sometimes last year.It was shocking that,a `paper’ guy could drift to such a move.Life Shiku come with surprises.You just said you choose to focus on positives lessons and ignored the negatives.That was the best decision one can do in such a situation.I feel part of your hurts.I know just how hard it is to love hard and get less or nothing.
God saved you from a situation you couldnt have handled if you did persist to carry on.Nothing,nothing ever happens without Gods reason.One pastor said-God never pays good with bad,and never pays bad with good.Your good deeds will be rewarded,and he will carry his own cross till it will hurt.It will hurt so bad to shed tears.Tears of shame and regret.Then God will have moved you a notch higher.With the man he intended to give you.A man who will love and nurture you.Coz you do deserve it.
I know most of your friends thought you were unwise,especially those who knew this guy well.They knew,but sadly couldnt tell that chances of ever living as a free resident with `papers’ were very slim.He wanted that way for the reasons better known to him.They say patient pays but yours dint pay but your tribulations will.
Its amazing how you decided to settle back home,many would have gone beserk seeking all ways and means of getting back to Sweden.
I concur with you thoughts that self-love is the greatest gift we can reward ourself.
It was such a great mistake from the word go.He dint deserve you,You deserve someone better and strong, heart and morally.That small piece of a story give a whole narrative of your relationship.I know you loved him and his family lots but you took too long to realize he was just a cramp! sorry but that what he was.You cried alot on phone,this guy doing this and that.I kept telling you to quit,answer.No he will change.He ended up embarrassing the whole of your family.
He denied you a chance to mourn,because he was in such a big hurry to show off his new white love.Thanks God ,that you decided to bury your head into running and reading.For some reason I thought you would collapse.Shish,your life is a lesson to many.Seeds of hope to hopeless women who believe they cant do make it without men.
God will give you a man who will nurture you as you deserve.For now just keep up the good work you are doing.See you soon.
Shiku,this is a very slim piece of the whole pie.Most of us know part of it if not all.And yes that wasnt your friend.She was just a friend in need,you were there for her when she needed you.She needed a supporting hand and you gave it to her,just to give her friend to your `man’.But now you know its the best thing that happened to you.
I wish you would tell us more.Why did your guy made such uncommon drift? and how did people back home receive this news?
Shiku. As much as I feel sorry for u, I must say u made the right decision. God fights ur battles: I hear ur so called best friend got dumped and started creating havoc all over. treating others as u would like to be treated can never go wrong.
Hi guys-cant you see that this is personal vendetta at work here.Meeting and parting is part of our nature and I dont see anything unique with this issue-is it because the woman is white?Am sorry some kenyans are fond of this kind of stuff.
The “core” of the narrative has not been divulged but i admire the length at which Shiku has gone to tell her tale.I say it has brought a new horizon to her endevours and aspirations,having said that i think shiku was a bit complacent with what her best friend was doing stringing her man….she won!!!(i.e her friend) self pity downs realization of regret.Women know what they want ,when it comes to issues of hunting for men….even married ones….who`s next!!!?
Mpendwa Shiku! (dada yangu) Isn’t self love the greatest thing? It carries you through the most difficult times and is a constant when everything else is in flux. Your husband did you a favour by revealing to you that the most important love comes from within. You deserve more than what he gave you and I know that you are receiving some of that better love from your family and dear friends. Not the type of friends who bring to Kenya a woman who stole your husband away from you, but friends who see not what is on the surface but the inner beauty you possess. These are the friends who are true soul sisters and I hope you count me as one of them.
Your separation is not a failure at all but a delayed realization of what love truly is and where the most important love comes from – yourself. Your separation was a gift as it freed you from the bonds of a marriage that was built on a shaky foundation and gave you the strength to look within yourself to find your dreams again. Your separation brought you back to the fold of your loving family and to the country you love. And your separation gave you the motivation to start running, something that you not only derive great pleasure from but has kept you healthy and strong.
Osho, a renowned spiritual guru says, “be the change you want to see in the world” and I see how you are indeed being that change through your dedicated running for Woman’s Hope and Brian. You are an inspiration to me and I would not have met you and have you as a cherished friend had it not been for your separation. So, a failure?? Indeed not, it was a gift to us all!
Ninakupenda, Moyo wangu unatamani sana nipate kukutana nawe siku moja. Salamu za upendo!
Janice
Thanks for sharing this story. During this story, I can feel your spirit lifting as, at the end, you found a sort of peace that you can carry you through life through hardship and despair, and help you enjoy the good times even more.
It is nice to hear stories such as this one because they say something, you are not alone, you are your own accompaniment in life and you can make the most of it. Strength and courage of the modern day woman.
Katosh,isnt personal real stories the true living nature of inspiration? We get lifted when we learn others went through our tribulations and made it in life.Color doest matter here,neither skin .THe best thrilling narratives are about true stories.Have you read the book of `hard earned drug monies’ its about a woman who was introduced to drugs by her x husband.She goes into details on their `drugged’ romance to jail life.Women face a lot of hard stuff from the men we so love,if I repeat what I just said,it aint the skin but the deed.Betrayal is betrayal.
The moral of the story as I got it is;
-choose your friends wisely,your best friends are a times your best enemies.
-Focus in life no matter the hundles that try to block you.
-You can handle everything if you do believe in yourself.
-love,love and love yourself .Self -love doesnt hurt neither doest it betray.
If I owuld come abit clear on this issue of white women and black men,I owuld have one strong point to drive home to explain why I die for black men.
Black skin is think and lush.I would say sensous to touch like Satin and velvevet made fresh but there is only one patch of shin on a white man’s body that remotedly compares to nearly every inch of a black man’s skin.The first time a caressed a black skin I felt like a luxury I shouldnt be able to afford.The phrase `once you go black ,you never go back’ is all about the feeling of the skin and strong manhood.
We are what black women denigrate and castigate .They believe we take thier men.I think black men are two and a half times likely to marry a white woman than a black woman is likely to marry a white man.Black women can point to that statistic in justifying their wrath.But in truth black sisters were after what they give us-sex.Just sex.Not the ring,for sure these guys arent the marrying kind anyway
Katosh,I thought masumbuko story from which Shiku is affirming a point was based on a true personal story.Masumbuko story was also informative and taught us how to lie smart if we must.I facilitate alot of motivation seminars and I always go for personal stories.The audience always get something/somebody to relate to.
Have you ever asked yourself why most successful people use old personal tales ,when detailing their path to success? the core point is-everyone can be successful regardless of the situation you are in right now.
Like wise on Shiku’s issue,the core point to me is not what transfers between them,but what she did to overcome it.I have met alot of women and men who arent able to pitch back pieces after a breakup.This kind of a story will challege,motive and inspire them to leave their mourning cages.
Life is what you make it to be for yourself.And to my sisters,love is not blind as per say.You got to determine when your brain is geting detorted.When your thinking capacity get robbed off,your thinking is controlled by outside source,and if you are in a bad relationship you brain remind you again and again that you cant get any better.You believe and associate the confused feeling with love.You end up losing self-esteem and confidence.
Hey! Joe,you are on a public site…..and Kaish my x never took any un-common drift.As Katosh said people are free to `meet’ and `party’.Earnestly I never waited for any comment or view.I have never discussed it with anyone in my family.It has been always one point here and there.It was abit delicate and complicated for my heart to handle.Guess they understood coz no much queries on that were ferried to me.
Caro dear ,yeas I saw the waves. I felt the wind but thought I would control the tides.But I drowned.I only realized things were bad when I got myself breathless in an `ICU’
Katosh,I understand not about,the personal verdetta thing.This a personal story.period.With no names quoted.If you are touched I apologize.I apologize again coz as I said this is part of my past life.A life that helped me focus more on my present and future.And will tell it on and on.
I have the same story-in full-in my memoirs.Which is full of beef.Just wondering what you will say when you come across it.Coz if you love reading you will at one point.
Katosh,not unless you are the guy in question,you cant talk of personal vendetta in a `nameless’ article.And if you are the guy in question, untill what age are you planning to `meet’ and `party’.That sounded so `cool’ an explanation.
Some craving for more,others are panicky! with “its a personal vendetta” Im also thinking like you Natasha,Not unless the commentator was the itching stone on shiku’s tight fitting shoes he got no base on grudge issue.He made me re-read the article thrice trying to trace all sort of personal grudge issues,but I got none.
SEARCHING FOR LOVE? SEARCH NO MORE!…………….! It all starts with you ……..
Love is something human being and animals crave for. We all need that touch and assurance of love.try pampering your pet with a lovely touch what does it do? It coils and coils with pride and joy. We can talk about all manners of relationship and love, but the biggest question posed on love topic is, how much do you love yourself?
Self relationship –the relationship we form/hold with ourselves is the most important but unfortunately the most ignored of all relationship. We tend to chase love all over, chase people to love, surface bitter betrayal, violence and we still want to trail the road to love. We do this with poisoning passionate that we forget ourselves and who we truly are. We forget that we are to be lovers of ourselves. In the end we face bitter betrayals which cost us our self –esteem.
The truth is, you will not be able to effectively relate to God, co-workers, spouses, and so on if you do not relate well with your own self. Relate to yourself first and foremost and then to others. Do not term this as self-centered act, no; it is that love you owe yourself.
The key to a good relationship with your own self is to live your life with love, compassion, passion, truth and honesty. Whatever virtues you choose, you must be able to look at yourself in the mirror and not feel ashamed, guilty or remorseful. You must never let anyone intimidate you, coz you are precious.
There is nothing as fulfilling as assuring yourself how much you are worthy. Talking to yourself sweet nothing when you truly feel you need it, do not wait for someone to-do it whether you have a lover or not. Do it first! Among all your friends, neighbours, relatives classmates there is no one who can understand you better than yourself! No one can love you better than yourself. When you love yourself wholly, you will magnetize more love from outside sources. Self love like God’s love has no betrayal. I do a lot of self talk especially when Iam on tough run-I call my self all sort of sweet names that exist, I assure and re-assure my sweet self, how lovely and strong Iam. I promise myself a lot of stuff, which I Do fulfill .I never disappoint myself.
Never empty your heart too much to deficient self-love. If the worse happen, you will just crash alone-love-less! Do not wait to crash-start now!
Thanks God u took ya life off the Autopilot
Hayai Sis ‘wena’! U must be kidding! Ave just read this 4d secnd tym but it still reads the same. How would u have hidden all this from your sweetest bro? y would you walk alone when we are always there 4u.
U just reminded me some of the moments and ave just swallowed abig rump! Jesus I bet I don’t wanna remember d whole saga! And worse of all that now I Know what happened. At times I do remember this issues especially on Fridays when I go abit “high’ an will start getting angry with ma companions. How would s’mone we trusted so much heart our lovely sis. Y did he make his own parents do kiddish work… u know those negos ……………………!
You know what Sis? Our God has good plans for those how’s hopes are anchored upon Him! Amen! u deserve the best and God has a reason for every thing.
Thanks for standing up dusting yaself off and taking a bold step and moving on. I bet it would have been worse. U know out of ya idea of jogging it was a blessing on ma side, I started doing it as a hobby an ave learnt a lot! For ya X Aint wishing him bad things but if he doesn’t change he will keep on repeating da same ……… he aint getting younger anyway…….and you can tell where that will end …. It was a bad wagon destined to a crash……. The relationship exit was God given an ya “Best fred’ was just a vessel…and like what I ave just mentioned I bet again if ya “best friend” never changed she will end up in ‘@#$%^! You don’t need to be a prophet to tel this …just borrow abit of knowledge from our elders aka “wisdom of age!”
Wacha ni stop typing feeling emotional “Ndaigua kurakara” but God has reason for everything just let it go bless an forgive him always remember this u r in a loving family an it is not a co-incidence ! And sooooooooooooooon I will b there with u! as u testify what the Lord has done for u! .Opening up have done the final healing but Don’t let any one drag u into discussions of the past …. Tel em u have emptied ya recycle bin an what they have read is what u ave fo now . soldier on!
Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeet sis!
Success is yas!
Health is yas!
Prosperity is yas
Happiness is yas
Blessings are yas
………… are yas yas yas yas
Kudos u r making it!
Continue blessing others I liked Brian,s story ………..
Everything will be okay
In the end.
If it’s not okey
it’s not the end
I knew it gonna be a surprise.And for a while I shivered after I got a report from KSB that my article is on.I thought of you and Mike.I was like,eeehh they will think I was nuts! but I never wanted any one to shoulder my pain.I wanted to handle it alone.Just alone.
Keep running even when it hurts.Iam counting on you as my running partner in Capetown,April next year.You go time for training.Train hard and sure.
Thanks and get me online.
Professional theives werent born with the `talent’ in their mind nad blood.THey trained by constantly thinking and calculating on best way to handle and gain from the dreadful act.To them its -easy to do-easy to get monies.Some say,I will do it just once then quit.But the tempation get too high.They get hooked for ever.This is the same path players follow before they become real professional cheaters.
If you dig deeper this guy had betrayed several hearts before.And he is not about to stop.It sound like just a start.
While Iam on it,Shiku ,dint the sister came to Sweden when she was married? what happened after some months? she was with a white guy.Rumours have it that she invited the guy home a few months after they lost their daughter.She left the husband for the white guy.This sound like a very cruel blood.Count yourselves lucky.You could have inherited the that `black tagged’ blood.
Shiku that dude was a wrong number to pour your love to.He is well known for lying and womanising with a brand name `wamaheni’ He onced lived in a certain place with a white woman and had made many people believe it was his own house.I once attended a chamachoma in his `posh home’ .
KSB: Hilarious. He did that?
I do admire your valor,many could have jumped into another heart almost immedietly to seek solace but you decided to play it cool and slow.
You are a mentor to many,an admiration to women community.Such stories make us relate well with what we are undergoing and what life expect from us.Many a times we think starting again is hard and impossible and at the end we get stuck with ever unending love sagas,and keep saying I wish I moved out and on last year but taking that bold first step is an act which is so challeging .
Iam challenged by your running passion,I know you loved jogging even when you were here but cant rememeber you taking part in any official run.Keep running and smiling and the world will open up for you smiling too.
Ungenjua sio kuzuri when the dude’s married sister hooked up with a mzungu and invited him home to a wide shocked eyes and views of the husband and relatives I heard the dude was very supportive and happy about the whole saga.The sister proudly told her friends` brotherangu ananisupport sana ata hamind tukilala kwake’all this long ulikuwa ukiishi underground,baadala yakushugulika na wewe he was busy stitching and unstitching .
Shish,
Good you revived,I still dont believe it happened.I loved my bro-in -law just too much.I kept on waiting for him for a nice heng out.Too bad,when he came he never even said hei.Just heard from a friend he was seen some place with a white lady.I almost collapsed.I thot he did that coz you were away,kumbe you knew what was happening all along?You are so secretive! I noted you changed kiasi,you never wanted to party and I kept wondering why.So you were stressed? why ?why dint you talk to me? Jezz! its is poisonus!
Anyway ,that was then,we are on another chapter now lets keep running,its fun and addictive.Thanks for being anice encouraging running partner,more of a coach.Who thought I would finish a half marathon run at 40 years.Guess the older the better,When I was younger I never run,whoever said life start at 40 was soo right!
Yes Julie,just like Lotta said,black sex is muah! perfect.I agree once you go black there is no turning back.Its all about sex and what black guys do for us.But hey guys why dont you treat your black women with the same manner.Who can wash her black woman legs just coz he has impregnanted her even if its for `papers’ love? who? none.Why do you respect us so much? sometimes it feels so awkward.The worst thing happen when we accompany you back home,and kids are all over us with mzungu! mzungu! chorus!the whole village see us like maana from heaven,a saviour.
doh!
People use diferent ways to pass a message.Some act,some sing ,some draw and others write.Thus views and feelings expressed in this article are all dug and written from the core of my heart.Not borrowed,imagined or a delusion.This is my past life.Period!my best ever path to communicate to those who do care.When I heard my article is causing a clamor and distress.I Deemed it derisive and hilarious!
It may sound so ironical that my best song of inspiration is titled `my past life’ .It is polished with all good and bad lessons .It is here I learnt what my parents and teachers dint teach me.It is from this song I potray a real positive life after `death’A life a treasure and Behold as a tool to my triumph .
Everytime I post an article in any site.My first reaction is to send the link to all my friend-it is recommeded to avoid non-audience posts-with a request read and comment.It up to them to read and critique.And my job is done.Positive and negatives comments can only be avoided if they are not posted.Again I cant control this.May be KBS can…..
@ Martin and Kamau your comments were interplated as part of my article.Thus reverted back to me.While I would term this a wonderful ignorance,I beg to clarify that there is a main post and comments,and that All my comments end with a Shiku Steve sign.
KSB: KSB will continue posting articles as long as such articles do not violate the rules. I personally go through all articles posted and edit them if necessary to make them conform with the established rules of the game. Comments are edited but only to remove unacceptable stuff, not to correct grammar or spelling errors because that would be too much work for me. Anything you see at KSB is legal. For those trying to control what should and what should not be posted here, I would say that you are living in the past. KSB reserves the right of publication of any article.
Shiku, I thought you had REALLY gone on with your life but all I can sense here is bitterness and a will to be pitied and then idolized. Coz if u have gone on, and you talking about stuff that happened years ago, why would spend so much time furnishing a once upon a time story?
At first I admired the fact that you seemed not wish to wash your dirty linen in public but its sooo obvious that the comments really satisfy you to the extent that you are willing to scream out the pain that you bottled up for so long. Don’t you see that you now look like a bad loser?
Most people who knew you felt for you, probably went down on their knees to pray that you would find the strength to move on. Their actually believed that you had not only found the strength, courage to go on and get it but also abundant blessings.
You sound like you are doing well, not like you have a new man in your life but ‘content’ at being able to satisfy yourself, but still, I and many others don’t buy that. The most outstanding fact in all that you write is that THIS, not your running, not your success after, not your new body shape, not the positive things in your life but THIS; is all you think about. Him and her.
The million dollar question is, now that a whole bunch of people know that you were dumped for a white lady, outsmarted by your ‘best friend’, how does this thread satisfy you? What form of happiness can you acquire from a short lived sense of revenge? A ‘revenge’ that cannot alter the course of things but will soon be thrown in the archives of the days of our lives? Now that you have turned your story into another tell tale comedy in the sreets of Stockholm, what weight do you feel has ben lifted away?
Herbie (#6), I think Maina Mwangi had filled much of the gaps that you failed to recognize in your contribution. He did it so well that I don’t have to chip in to extend this discussion. My concern however is your new attempt to try and “intellectualize” this debate when the main points of departure clearly show that the key issues require commonsensical and not intellectual input. I take issue with the fact that you have hinted to the “production of papers” to bolster your resolve for an “intellectual debate” of the subject matter.
To isolate your major concerns which have already been addressed by Mwangi, you have four issues on the table:
1) You think that the likes of Masumbuko, his ex and Shiku are washing dirty linen in public
2) You think that by doing so, they are creating more hatred, bitterness and animosity within the people involved
3) Your view is that what we are reading at KSB about the subjects should better be kept out of the blog
4) You are concerned about the welfare of the unborn child, given the exchanges between Masumbuko and his ex.
All these concerns have already been addressed by Mwangi but because you do not understand his main message, I will put it differently here.
There is no dirty linen being washed in public at KSB. The Masumbuko and the Shiku stories constitute news within the realms of KSB coverage. Unless you can identify what is dirty in the exposures, you should keep your peace.
Your postulation that by so using KSB to “ventilate” (to borrow from Mwangi), the news makers are creating more animosity is not valid. This is purely a personal view and my sticking point is that you are trying to allow this view to define the “thinking norm” for KSB readers who are solemnly encouraged by your presentation to view the exposures as a source of animosity and other negatives you mentioned.
If you think that the exposures amount to promoting more hatred among Kenyans in Stockholm, you should limit this view within the “personal experience” instead of trying to infect other readers with it by collectivizing this view then proceeding to present it as an accepted and unchallengable fact.
What you are trying to do is to engage in a general presentation of a narrow point of view of a specific subject matter which is then transformed by yourself as the main perspective of the wider KSB readership. To simplify my thesis, how do you know that readers who have gone through the Masumboko story see in it seeds of hatred, animosity or even bitterness as you claim?
You wondered aloud as to why such topics are published at KSB. Here, you are treading on very sensitive grounds because what you are saying in essence is that such stories should be censored at KSB. Mr. Osewe has stated time and again that he edits everything published at KSB (including comments). To push for further censoring beyond what the blogger is already doing smacks of poking your nose into matters that do not concern you.
With due respect, I wish to submit that you should remain a consumer of material at KSB, not the “Holy Priest” who knows best what readers here should and should not consume. If you have to pass comments as per the available openings, you should limit your comments within the personal view and not the collective view of KSB readers. This is just a piece of advice that could spare you from much more serious attacks in the future especially if you were to delve into an intellectual discourse of whatever nature.
Your concern about the welfare of the unborn child could be valid if the subjects under discussion could be identified. We have been told that they are making their contributions incognito and under the circumstances, you have no basis of arguing that the unborn child will suffer because of the exposures.
This is because the unborn child will remain anonymous and unless the mother or Masumbuko alerts the child about the KSB articles when he/she is grown up, the child will never know anything about these exchanges. You should therefore desist from dragging the welfare of the unborn child into the discussion for purposes of scoring cheap points. This is a matter of common sense.
Lastly, there is no need for an intellectual debate over this issue. Any attempt to introduce any sort of intellectual angle to the debate would, in my view, be a serious waste of “intellectual energy” that could better be pumped into much more serious issues which might require urgent attention.
Paul Ogolla
Lund University
I knew Shiku had some sort of bitterness ,when one recalls the last writing about gossip.You reveal something else about yourself Shiku,one who goes round telling people about herself,just to hear what others will comment ,waiting always for positive comments but when one comments the way you do not want you go round spreading rumors about the person.You live by looking for mercy from other people.
Dame, As I mentioned, when I tell my friends read and comment.I dont say,read and comment positively.I hold rights however to clarify a point if I feel it does not apply in my writing.For example when Ukish talk of my new body shape-where on earth was that extracted from?
When Katosh talked of personal vendetta .I differed.With a strong point this is a past life story.My life.If it was a grudge or revenge as Ukish call it,I could have written about my x not shiku.
When my x-brother in law choose to express his feeling by acting,none of us raised a question .Not because we dint diserve an answer but respected his freedom of expression.I fail to understand then why my sisters choice of expression was abused.This was a trespass a proof that you take our silence for stupidity and we dint receive it kindly.Ukish,if Shiku wanted to blemish (revenge not the word here) my x-brothers name,the write-up could have read different.
I really dont know why readers choose to concentrate on the first half of the story and forgot the inspirational part the story was meant for.Much as I felt bad ,coz my sis choose solitary solution measures,I picked the story as part of my motivatonal speaking back up.
For me a friend who betray a friend is not an `out- smarter’
For someone who has “moved on”, u seem to have a bitter heart. I think it is good that you have found something to waste time with now when you don’t have a family taking your time, ie husband and kids…. But to give out deatails about your x and the new-found love of his- what’s the purpose? You have made it clear that you support the comments, and maybe you have even written them yourself? That’s pathetic! And if he left you for a whitie, she must have something that you don’t, cause no brother leaves a sister when he already has his papers, if it is not true love. What did you do to make him dump you? You paint yourself as you are an angel, but if you were, he would still have been with you, right? Shape up!
Writers like politicians,Lile to pull a crowd,to pull audience.It is a no good post if they do not receives emails with comments bad or good.My point here is ,this was just another post till the commentators personalised it.Pulling a major attraction hence audience.
To me all comments here apart from just a few are darm negative and some potrays some hatred.Why?
We have given this `just an article’too much un-nessesary points.
KSB: We are together on this – “it was just another article”. Well said.
I rubbed my eyes as I read through all this comments.I would want to maintain my point shiku,which I posted on comment number 19.
Do not let any one drag you into discussions you aint ready to do .I can read some provoking comments dont sink in.Give us something else to read
Magnolia-This my personal comments email john_wats@yahoo.com.If you want to confirm its trully real check it out on face book!
come on guys.this is all bullshit. I think it high tyme both of you shiku and the guy grow or you glow up. tigai wana. I know the real story and if you want me to come up with my real name, I WILL and both of you will shut up cause nawajua kuliko vile mnajiweka kwa neti. wacheni nyinyi…..
Ksb I suggest you take up challege on `self-written’ critique.Formulate a sign-in to comment,part,Where the pass word has to be sent to own inbox.You know what I mean?Its hilarious for some one to think this are not our own words.
Natasha from Mau, Botz
KSB: O yeah! I know what you mean. The limitation is that the interface of KSB blog is designed by WordPress and there is little we can do to alter the code to allow for pass-word based email confirmations. Post yr comments and 4get about people who think you are not in Botz. They will always be there.
1: Shiku, its common sense that after that much running you would acquire a new body shape. If he never was in your life to begin with you, would not have this story to tell so yes, you are writing about your x.
2: Mike, revenge is revenge; making it mild or sound better in this case does not change that fact.
3: Njuguna, KSB, yes this is just ‘another article’ but the difference is that Shiku is willing to come back and answer to all comments, especially the ‘negative’ ones. That makes it a healthy debate. In most articles featured here, what we get is usually a one sided half true story where most ‘villains’ or ‘victims’ never come back to answer, correct or even defend themselves leaving it all at the mercy of the writer and commentators. That makes it different.
Shiku my point still remains, these is taking too much of your precious time. That you are in Kenya, I presume, but still drops in at KSB to write about it tells something. That you put so much energy to make yourself heard about this issue doubles that. What you have is victory not a broken heart, as you articulately want to demonstrate. So why not just move on? To put it more simply, actions speak louder than words.
@ Ukish,Yeah,and my words so do speak,thats part of what I do-writing.This was just an extract of a write up I did for a woman network-worldpulse.com and just did a simple job here.Copy and paste.Yeap,I have moved on to my next writeup.Thanks.
@bothsides,use either grow or glow both making a meaning here.Iam up for your task,as long you will give me copyright of the story.