Wife-Beating: Madona Calls For “An End To Stupidity”

I wish to differ on the on-going wife beating debate among Kenyans in Stockholm. In many cultures in Kenya, beating women is acceptable because it is the only way through which a man can discipline a woman who misbehaves. Kenyan men who have been beating their women deserve support because they are acting out of instinct. These are loyal cultural activists who are revolting against the white culture based on having two heads in a family. It never works.

Kenya Madona cally hubby

Kenya Madona calling hubby

There is an adage in Kenya that “never get in between” a fighting couple because after the fight, they will go and do it in bed and then begin to blame you for their problems. You will become enemy number one. The practice of men beating their women is an accepted activity in many Kenyan cultures and to try and demonize men who have been giving their women a bashing is unfair because these men are simply being loyal to culture.

There are two kinds of beatings. The “slapping” which is harmless and the “heavy battering” which leads to injury and, sometimes, death. It is the heavy battering that should be condemned, not the occasional slapping meant to “panel-beat the woman in line”. This kind of slap is the kind you give a naughty kid on the buttocks to keep the kid in line. It is always harmless unless carried too far. Any woman who tries to hit back after being slapped will surely be battered so never try. Just relax but make sure you evaluate whether you will be facing slaps or real beatings.

Those who are talking about wife beating are mixing the two activities and elevating “slapping” into “battering” for effect. How comes that after the blogger “battered” his ex or after the Chairman “battered” his wife, the two never had any serious injuries? This should be evidence that they were just slapped, not beaten. A man who gives the woman the real beating and hurts her should be condemned. What I am saying is that African culture allows for a certain level of “discipline” in the home which has to be done by the man.

Even governments employ a level of violence against their own people for purposes of “discipline” otherwise there would be chaos in the country and total disorder. In Kenya, the police even shoot citizens to death on behalf of the government or tear-gas stupid citizens demonstrating against the government in the streets. The Army and the police are special units for instigating violence during trouble to regain some order with the President being the head of the house so what are we saying?

I have myself been slapped several times by my husband for some stupid mistakes I did but I never took these slaps as beatings. A woman who discusses secret family matters with enemies of her husband deserves a slap, not a beating. Without slapping a woman once in a while, men become incomplete and this is something our women have not understood because they have been brainwashed by Western cultures that has banned the two types of beating and that has elevated slapping a woman into a terrible crime.

When You Are Slapped, Take It Easy
There is no need of scaring married men with the monster of “wife beating” because this will lead to emasculation of men who will begin to panic within the home and fear the woman for no reason. What should be emphasized is that instead of beating the woman, give her a slap and nothing else.

The act of slapping relieves the man of temper and gets the load off his chest. A slap is harmless and might even increase love in the home, contrary to opinion that any slight “touching of the woman” amounts to a beating.

When I know am wrong, I sometimes invite my husband to slap me on the buttocks to avoid a long arguement that could mess up his mood in the evening and it works like magic. The poor guy normally feels relieved and it happens very quickly. I then bring him some warm tea and that night, I get my thing. This is how I have perfected using the “slapping instinct” of these animals called males.

Scaring men with police will simply give women “big heads” and scare bachelors from getting married, a situation that may lead to hundreds and thousands of stranded young women with no one to marry them. In the end, our population will go down because of these “white scare tactics” that is getting into the heads of members of our society as quickly as the spread of Ukimwi.

Some people have been wondering why some women fail to report “cases of abuse” by men. These women are the cleaver ones because they understand the difference between being slapped and being beaten. You should know the level of violence a man you have lived with is capable of and report to police or walk out of a relationship when you are convinced that the man is not interested in slapping but beating you to hurt you or even kill you.

A friend of mine called me last night and told me that her husband slapped her after she stretched the food budget and bought a pair of nice shoes she admired which was going cheaply. She understood that she did something stupid and paying with a slap was cheap because she has her shoes. After the slap, she told me that the poor dude will now have to stretch his credit card because the kids have to eat. This is the way to go, not rushing to police.

How comes that the Chairman has been accused of having been a womanizer yet for more than ten years, no woman has ever accused him of spouse-beating? Those who know the Chairman knows that he is not a violent guy and I am convinced that the so called beating was actually a slap otherwise the woman’s face should have been deformed, lost a tooth or suffered a broken bone if she got a real beating. I know the blogger to be a very cool guy who can never even hurt a fly. When he slapped his ex following a provocation, it was immediately elevated into a “battering”, why?

My appeal to women is this: Let us not follow wazungu blindly. Instead, let us use our senses to differentiate between a “violent husband” and a “slapping husband” because as a matter of instinct, and in as much as we may want to be in denial, men are animals who require to exercise their so called superiority in one way or another and slapping is one of them.

If you have been watching “Discovery” or “Animal Planet”, even male animals in the jungle have a tendency of trying to dominate their spouses while protecting their teritory. We are animals with intelligence. Why can’t we understand nature by observing wild animals? If a man tells you to go and change winter tyres on your own, it means you have been competing with him in the house.

Blind Following of White Culture
When you are slapped, take it easy. What is a slap compared to taking your husband to police then KSB picking up the story and your relationship being the talk of town?

You should tell when the slap begins to get far and report or get out of the relationship. I know this view may not be popular but there is freedom of expression. The attempt to emasculate our men by denying them the opportunity to slap their women because of fear of police will lead to them malfunctioning as the head of the family.

What will you be doing with a husband who is “as scared as a rat” in the house when he ought to be exercising his masculinity and feeding you powerfully with that sweet beef? A functioning family needs constant arguments in the house and sometimes your mouth slips and you say something stupid in the cause of argument and you get slapped. Calling police or rushing to KSB in such situations is what I call stupidity.

I always tell my husband that he can slap me but the day he beats me, I will report to police and quit the relationship and he has never beaten me. Kenyans should wake up and stop silly comments fed by consuming lots of white culture which encourages oral and anal sex. Let the men be men and women be women then the two can sort themselves out. If they can’t, they should split. It’s that simple. My fellow Kenyans, stop being silly here in Sweden.

Kenyan Madona


  • My grandparents were married for over 50yrs before my grandpa passed away. My grandmother has always told me that she was so lucky to have a man that loved and adored her. One thing she always stressed on was that in all the years that they shared together he never raised his hand to even slap her! Now my granny lives in kenya tena shugz, so Kenyan Madona what kenyan culture condones wife slapping! I thought when one is married its a partnership? Pliz if u r ok with ur hubby slapping u, thats ur choice but to say that its part of our culture i totally disagree with u. When it comes to sex kila mutu ana choice and we are in 2009, im a kenyan woman love my culture but i think one needs to spice up a relationship!

  • I fully agree with Kanini and differ with Kenyan Madona who generalizes that most cultures in Kenya allow women to be slapped. Which cultures or tribes are these? Can she tell us?

    The chairman being discussed for beating his wife used to slap her now and then until he ended up beating her recently. A married woman is normally an adult who can be talked to and if there are matrimonial problems, slapping will never solve them.

    I recall that some stubborn kids in Kenya would repeat mistakes knowing that after all, they would be caned by their teachers or parents, yet solve nothing.

    Kenyans in Stockholm must live according to certain laws in Sweden, meaning that beating or slapping should not be tolerated as a way of settling problems.

    I can generalize that talking between married partners is NOT part of most Kenyan cultures. Kenyan couples barely talk and that is why many end up fighting.

  • Madona wacha zako wewe, we know you are one of the chairnan mistres here in stockholm and thats y you are tryn to defend him. what culture are you talking about? kikuyu? dont try to justify the act. the people who practice that culture are stupid and primitiv. watu wa gishagi kama wewe na chairman and your husband. go tell that to un-educated girls huko kwenu but not here.

  • Kenyan Moddona! you are a real realistic “Moddona” even Leonado da vinci would have been proud of you having summised male and female nature so candidly.My wife read your article and she totaly agrees with you,that sometimes a woman should be put at check ,especially when she inferiorates her hubbie…when it comes to demestic issues and she becomes careless knowingly,i know not many WAZUNGU ,indoctinated minds will agree with you.Having two heads in a house will results to a house devided,(it NEVER WORKS,look at the swedes!?),leading to the man bailing out and the MZUNGU INDOCTINATED MINDED KENYAN woman is left with no hubbie but DILDOS(sic)to service her womanly needs ,during all weather situations in SWEDEN….I dont subscribe to wife beating or battering but i subscribe to what out KENYAN MODDONA had put accross to us,try this prescription kenyan women,your love life will flourish na game kitika “gothoro stadium” itakuwa safi mno Kudos!!!Maddona.

  • Kanini, you said that after 50 years, yr grandpa never raised a finger to slap yr grandma. What you did not tell us is whether your grandma used to tell yr grandpa to cook food for the family, fetch the fire-wood, bathe the kids, fetch water from the river etc. You might disagree with me on whether wife slapping is part of “our culture” but that’s OK with. I was just expressing an opinion. I am surprised that after several repetitions to the contrary, commentators are suggesting that I recommend wife beating. You still don’t get my point about being “beaten” and being “slapped” occasionally.

    Look at the silly “stockholm pundit” suggesting that I am the mistress of the Chairman and that I was defending him. Don’t go personal with this discussion and if you can’t debate, get off the key board.

    At least, “private eye” has seen my point. Our women should not tolerate wife beating under any circumstance. A harmless slap is however good for the relationship and adds fun. It keeps the man thinking that he is “strong” and in control when in reality, its just a psychological therapy. When you master how the manipulation goes, your man will never beat you.

    I must stress that there are some conditions that must exist for the slapping arrangement to work. The man must be able to provide for the family na hapa ulayani, he should be able to keep the woman comfy. A poor man who cannot even afford to take me out will never slap me.

    Know what you want in a relationship and if its not working, get out. I made a comment and Osewe made it an article, may be because it was too long. Muigai has had a long shot on it and I will get back to him. I am not trying to encourage women to allow themselves to be beaten. I am trying to show women how to reduce the possibility of being beaten by using the “slapping technique” which can then be reduced to sheer fun in the house to be used during confrontation.

    Some readers do not get it and may be, I need to develop the theory further. After all, nobody believed Galileo when he first said that the world was round. Wife beating stems from a psychological condition which can be tamed by the woman by first reducing it into a slap then getting rid of it all together.

    If you take your husband to police because you have been slapped, next time you will take him to court claiming that he has raped you because the system allows this and your husband can be sent to prison for “raping you”.

    Come on ladies and gentlemen, a slap is a slap and a beating is a beating. Don’t let yourselves to be brain washed. Oppose wife beating but give slapping a chance. It works magic for those who get me right. Your relationship is not worth breaking up because of a slap. You can deal with that.

  • “Beating women is acceptable because it is the only way through which a man can discipline a woman who misbehaves.” What you have written just amazes me. I am shocked beyond disbelief to know that your species still exists. If you really mean what you wrote Kenyan Madonna , then we’ll probably have to start a thread on “How to Determine Responsibility, civilization, molestation, oppression, slavery etc”. By saying that ‘women deserve to be beaten, you are implying that men have the sole rights to do what they want to women. It is difficult to help people like you. You sound a like a victim of spousal abuse. With a comment like that, you’re obviously fishing for a reaction here – you can’t really have sat down and actually drafted something like this in this day and era of social awareness. For your information “Western men” also beat their wives/girlfriends. No matter the reasons, wife beating is sore, it only demonstrates lack of discipline, failure in life, frustrations and lack of confidence. Violence can also be attributed to poor attitudes instilled since childhood. There is no human being that deserves to be beaten. Men who beat women are hot tempered, and in most cases, they deserve more beating than the women. By the way, this is not an African phenomenon, it’s a general male gender problem. Get an education! The issue of spousal abuse is very real all over the world and what makes the West better is that they have sat down and thought of ways of improving the lot of people at the brunt of this evil phenomenon and by so doing have evolved of arresting the problem by opening safe houses, taking complaints more seriously, doing thorough investigations and even offering professional help to assist women beaters etc. so in that regard I give them thumbs up. Kenyan Madona, it starts with a slap………..before you know it, it is your funeral. Ever heard of honour killings?? I doubt!!! It is hell on earth to endure a beating regularly from anybody and men who persist in it will one day realise their folly. You remember the story of BOBIT??? No woman deserves a beating, neither should they be blamed for being beaten, that is as lame an argument as a woman deserved to be raped because of her dressing. There are civilised ways of handling issues, which are even more effective if you ask me. Madona, maybe you should consider the fact that women who are not likely to tolerate battery from their husbands are also not likely to tell you what they would do if it happens. Do you think the bobit woman held a conference to discuss whether or not she should get back at her husband; She just did it!
    So dear Kenyan Madona and your supporters, its about action not talk; if a man is waiting for his wife to start threatening him before he stops beating her, he might just wake up one morning wondering why his crown jewels are not in their usual place. Love is just like chewing gum. It is sweeter at the start but as time goes by it looses its taste. If you do not know how to add sugar and sweeten it, you will spit it out. But you have got to find a way of making it sweeter everyday. It takes personal initiative. Do not just throw your life and marriage or relationship to the blues. Work through it and make is worthwhile. No journey is without obstacles. Dear Women folklore let us not be torn apart by the likes of the “Shody Cave Village Madona”. She should just creep back from the rock or hole that she came from. We just have to make sure we do not buy into these ideas. Dear women, run as fast as you can from women beaters and from this woman in wolves clothing. First Slap, call the cops!!! I think this is one of the Chairman´s mistresses….

  • Deal with slaps…. you are joking… you need help!! You keep dealing with the slaps peke yako. So as long as a man is taking you out and providing for you, he is justified to slap you. Kwani you dont earn a living?? You suffer from low self-esteem. Nenda shule or go to social welfare. Life is too expensive to sponge on others. You are one of those leeches ama??

  • Dont go personal… then who r u calling a stupid pundit??

  • You have to understand, women are very vain creatures. Maybe an arm slap or something, so it hurts a little, but you’re not damaging ‘the face.’ I think women can be really ignorant sometimes. They can slap a man fifty times, but if they get hit once, they start bawling. So, while I acknowledge that men tend to be stronger than women and should be a little gentler with their slaps, women should not expect to get off ‘slap-happy.’

    Technically speaking, a slap on the face could cause several days of discomfort and damage to soft tissues including swelling and bruising. Someone with enough power could do more serious damage. Gender does not matter. Physically touching another person in anger is just wrong. You can’t fix stupid people, but you can walk away.

  • A controversial opinion from actor Sean Connery on slapping women:

  • i would like to know what kid of job Madona has. it seems she likes it when somebady slaps her. the only job that i know in this civilised world that a woman can be slapt and get f***d is in the porn industry. women there do it for the sake of money. actualy under influence of drugs. so when try to tell civilised woman to not do anything, thats its african culture to be slapt, the to me you are living in your own planet. but if you are in the mentioned industry then i can undustard you. take more drugs, let them do you both sides and stop telling it to our civilised husbands and wifes.

  • say no to violence

    hahaha u make me hahahah so stupid. Be careful of what u wish for. Someday the slaping might turn and become ur worse nightmare, but then u must not cry,or?? None, man or women should lay there hands on eachother remember that, true love dosent consist of holdin hands it consist of holdin heart. To hit is to disrespect, only used by cowards. I want to show my man respect not be affraid of him. Dont use the culture as an excuse, cuz there are no such thing. There are alot of women/man in Kenya and around the world living in a abusive realationship there for its a shame of u to state this. Since u like beeing slaped, It might your sexual disposition!! But pleace dont encourage it, cuz domestic violence its a big problem for alot of our sisters/brothers out there. Think twise madonna.

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  • Anti Kenyan Madonna

    “In many cultures in Kenya, beating women is acceptable because it is the only way through which a man can discipline a woman who misbehaves.”….#seriously???????#u killed it right there..but i kept reading..by the end of ur blog i had so much seething anger and resentment at your line of thought.This is clearly mispalced Diasporan thinking!u need to come back ‘home’ and touch base withj reality!So..ur husband slapped u?that makes it OK?A slap is as good enough as physical abuse and its unacceptable in marriage or otherwise!
    when u talk of ‘slapping arrangement” what exactly do you mean.why try to define and valldate a vice!what do u think with…ur @s# perhaps the cold winter weather is not doing u any good.This is a clear case of a Kenyan in Diaspora experiencing brain freeze.
    learn to look at issues with a clear mind.and i insist coming bk ‘home’ wl do u sme good.

    check out this post:


    i hope u get the point!

    too much bile!now i need a drink!shish!

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