A few days before the signing of the peace deal, KSB questioned why prayers by Kenyans in Stockholm were not being answered. This challenge appeared to have upset some members of Wafarisai who went to other forums to condemn KSB for trying to question “Sir God” and even implying that Kenya-Stockholm prayers may have failed because there could have been too many prayers on the line waiting to be answered.
Another theory was that the devil may have been intercepting the prayers through a Satanic satellite installd at the Swedish North pole preventing Kenya-Stockholm prayers from reaching Sir God.
Although the contribution was a piece of humor, some Wafarisai like Mr. Githuku wa Muirani took the matter seriously and responded, saying that those who believe that Jesus Christ is the son of God can submit their needs and desires to him freely. When Pastor Beatrice noted Muirani’s response, she went on the attack immediately, arguing that nobody was in a position to defend God. According to the vocal Pastor, those who were trying to defend God in the face of KSB challenge “were like little children who started drinking spiritual milk yesterday”. The Muirani-Beatrice exchanges did not go further than that and the matter rested there.
It was also in March that Mr. Maina Kiai, former Chairman of the Kenya Human Rights Commission, came to Sweden to deliver a speech about the post election violence in Kenya. Kiai had earned the wrath of the Kikuyu ruling class for taking the position that elections had been rigged by ECK and calling for President Kibaki to step down.
He was delivering his speech in Stockholm on a Friday morning and at very short notice. This made it difficult for many Kenyans to attend the event. According to Tonny Odera, who attended the session and who met Kiai, the Kenyan wondered why Kenyans in Stockholm had failed to surface at the meeting to listen to what he had to say. What Kiai did not understand is that Kenyans here are not paid to attend meetings and given the short notice before the meeting, fixing a day off for many Kenyans could have been difficult.
Mr. Paul Njenga, who is currently serving a jail term, had worked at the residence of Mrs Catherine Kiboi, whose husband died in a house inferno in Norway in 2006. In March, Mr. Njenga put Kenya Embassy back in the news by demanding that he be paid 10,000 kr for work at the residence of Kiboi. Mr. Njenga had told KSB that the amount could not be paid following the death of Kiboi because the Embassy argued that it did not know about the engagement. The Embassy has a series of “sleeping scandals” that surface at KSB from time to time and when Njenga made this demand, he added that part of the evidence about the work engagement could be provided by Mrs Kiboi who had since been hired to work at the Embassy.
Mrs Kiboi’s dilemma was that she couldn’t intervene in the case because she was herself in a very precarious situation. She had just been hired under very sensitive circumstances and trying to plunge herself into the Njenga controversy may not have been in her immediate personal interest especially at a time when the very act of her being hired by the Embassy to replace her husband was in the process of being questioned by Embassy critics who saw it as nepotistic.
It is now believed by keen observers that the Ambassador may have found an underground way of settling Njenga’s pending bill in exchange for confessions from the Kenyan who allegedly wrote a controversial apology to the Ambassador which was subsequently published at an “Embassy-friendly” blog managed by a Kenyan who has been fighting to restore his reputation after he allegedly beat his ex wife senseless forcing police to take him into custody.
According to KSB agents, even Mr. Githuku wa Muirani, Njenga’s brother, did not know about the letter and sources told KSB that Muirani was getting worried that the cunning Ambassador and her sly Assistant, Mrs Awuor, may have been manipulating Njenga mentally in prison to squeeze an apology from him to be used in cleaning the Ambassador’s dirty public image that has also tainted her reputation beyond repair. When KSB reached Mr. Muirani in a moment of investigation, he refused to comment over the issue, probably to safe guard the interests of his brother who had suddenly began to cooperate with the Embassy and even denying facts that are beyond challenge like the land grab at the residence.
As time elapsed, Gerry Midenyo returned from Kenya after casting his vote in the December 2007 election. What was interesting in Gerry’s return was not the fact that he had just returned but a huge “tactical missile” he fired in the direction of the Kingdom of Githuku wa Muirani situated in Norsborg.
Muirani has been one of the prime News makers at KSB in 2008, both because he is always caught in the teeth of controversy and his ability to respond to attacks without being personal. It is also rumored in Kenya-Stockholm that Muirani could be the proverbial “cat with seven lives” because he has a stunning tendency of surfacing to re-invent himself when people think that he has already been destroyed and finished kabisa by scandal.
It is still not clear what may have provoked the Gerry attack on Muirani but according to Gerry, Muirani is one Kenyan who “should stop being tribalistic and conducting a hate campaign against Raila”. Gerry continued to allege that “The likes of Muirani should listen to Kenyans like Mr. Charles Njonjo who has been preaching peace and cohabitation of all tribes in Kenya”.
What can be discerned from Gerry’s tirade is that he views Muirani as a tribalist who is against Raila Odinga and who was taking a wrong position that the post election killings were being perpetrated by other ethnic groups with the Kikuyus being the main victims.
May be, Kenyans will never know the problem between Mr. Midenyo and Mr. Muirani but in March, Gerry did not have any kind words for Mr. Muirani soon after returning from Kenya. KSB hopes that in 2009, Muirani and Gerry will be able to sit down as gentlemen and resolve any differences that might be hampering smooth relations between them. They are both respectable parents and they should be able to sort out their differences. Let us make 2009 a year of real peace and reconciliation in Kenya-Stockholm.
In typical style, Muirani did respond to Gerry but the curious point is that Muirani decided to avoid the main attacks against him, choosing instead, to clothe his response in a jolly and religious language that steered clear from further provoking Gerry into firing new missiles. He wrote:
“Despite all their efforts, they never killed Joseph’s dream and as long as one has a dream in life, one will encounter all types of critics and admirers. Concerning my Christian faith, it’s only God who will judge me and not human beings”. According to what he has said in public, Muirani has an ambition of representing his constituency in Parliament and we wish him well.
Gerry had also questioned Muirani’s Christianity and the fate of funds that had been raised by the Muirani-led UHCK. In his response, Muirani tried to answer all issues raised by Gerry but the key question that remained unanswered was why Gerry had attacked him.
At KSB, the Kenyan Embassy together with our embattled Ambassador Purity has been the “Newsmaker of choice”. When there is ukamwe of news, KSB dogs normally visit the Embassy to check if there are any bones that could be chewed because loyal KSB readers have to be fed otherwise they will begin to call the President to find out what is happening or whether the price of unga needs to be reduced so that KSB can cook some news.
“Is there nothing about the Embassy”, one addict once posed on telephone after two days of zero up-dates. It is like readers have a “right” that KSB be updated. Scavenging for news at the Embassy is not strange because the Ambassador represents President Kibaki while the Embassy is a direct replica of the Kenyan government in Stockholm so why not go searching for Purity during times of news shortage?
THE KINYUA CONTAINER SCANDAL
After Kinyua left for Canada, a bizarre news hit KSB headlines to the effect that a container that was packed with Mr. Kinyua’s personal belongings had disappeared on its way to Canada because of corruption at the Embassy.
According to details of the story, the Embassy had hired a fake company called “VIP Shipping International” to transport Kinyua’s property and part of the scandal had it that the Embassy had engaged the company because it was cheap. When the container failed to reach its destination, investigations by KSB revealed that “VIP International” was actually a fake company that had defrauded several individuals before it was engaged by the Embassy.
Details of the scandal had it that by hiring the company at a cheaper rate, corrupt Embassy officials would then inflate the price by charging the government the “market price” then scooping the difference to be shared among conspirators in the deal.
The plan went wrong because top Embassy staff who were involved in the scandal thought that “VIP International” was a credible company that would deliver the goods and that the theft of public funds in the deal would go unnoticed as long as the goods arrived. Throughout the scandal, the Embassy remained tight lipped while daily prayers were held at the Mission for the scandal to pass quietly so that the looting could go unnoticed. The Kinyua container scandal was however overtaken by events in Stockholm.
THE KENYA “DARLING OF THE GIRLS” SENT TO PRISON
A Kenyan who had been handed over a three year jail term for assaulting a Swedish woman had his appeal thrown out and his sentence increased from three to five years. The case was titillating because the Kenyan had allegedly fyekad several and smashing Kenyan warembo despite his HIV positive status that was reported by the media.
There was total pandemonium and soul searching among women who had liberally and enthusiastically spread out their sacred goods for sweet consumption after swallowing the Kenyan’s seductive baits which, according to one victim, “were irresistible”. Soon after the story was blown out, KSB’s hot line was jammed with women seeking for a confirmation as to whether the Kenyan was HIV positive, something we couldn’t do under any circumstance.
Some Kenyan bachaleros regretted that the Kenyan had to go to prison because they wanted to learn from him the tricks of quickly heating up the girls (like an electric boiler) in a way that they became helplessly mesmerized with love, mapenzi, nyege… thereby forcing them to hang on to his neck as he walked majestically (holding their thighs) to his crib to consume the soft “raw materials tucked in between” and “packed in fleshy lumps” of different sizes – manyake.
Although he was snatched by the Swedes to be stored safely in prison for reasons of “National security”, some bachaleros are understood to have patched his portrait on the walls of their cribs “for inspiration”. They allegedly bow before the portrait before going out to hunt, a remarkable development which should elevate this Kenyan to a near Saint in the field of catching the girls.
According to police records, he allegedly maintained an active Network of as many as 30 African babes and soft Swedish white cuties whose thongs he teremushad like mabendera. To underline the heroic nature of this son of the soil, the Swedish national TV picked up the story and featured it in a key program watched by millions of people in Sweden. The Kenyan had made history in this country but do I say?
BEREAVEMENTS
On 20th March, sad news arrived to the effect that our dear and soft-spoken Carren Anyango had lost her dear Mom in Kenya. As usual, Kenyans rushed to console the family. It is these kinda moments that you put aside your personal differences and present your face among the mourners to sign the book, a positive thing among Wakenya.
If you want to meet two sworn enemies sitting side by side without physical missiles being fired, get to a Kenya-Stockholm funeral function. This tradition needs to be encouraged in 2009. We all have the so called enemies but when you are bereaved, “the enmity” has to take a back seat because such times are usually very painful.
The point is this: We are all vulnerable and when one of us is bereaved, it is not the time to swear that “Haki. Imemweza, baba yake amekitoa. Let her deal with it because yeye huringa sana! I wish her sista passes away soon”.
As if they had been communicating, the sister of the Uppsala-based Mr. Yusuf Mzee also passed away and Kenyans had to songa karibu. Mzee is not well known among Kenyans in Stockholm, partly because he is very quiet. One guy who knows him well is Mr. Laban Mberi. If you need to spend the night in Uppsala, get in touch with Mberi who will get in touch with Mzee who will fix the thing.
WHEN AMBASSADOR PURITY WAS RECALLED…
There are some people in Kenya who have no respect for Kenyans abroad. In March, a stupid commentator attacked Kenyans abroad, alleging that we claim that “we know everything”. KSB is among voices that came in forcefully to counter the attacks while Milton Muigai and Dick Kamau also chipped in. In the coming year, I hope Kenyans will not accept unproked attacks from home by people who do not understand the harsh realities here. They think money grows on trees and sometimes proceed to vomit on our shoes the way Kibaki and his Mafia cartel does to donors.
Eventually, it was time for the month of March to experience its eventual sun-set with a funny message at KSB. April fool’s day was just approaching and I put up an April fool’s piece that Ambassador Purity had been recalled.
Some Kenyans in Stockholm sent SMS to say “Thank you God!” while other Purity haters rushed to Vasa for one or two as they shouted “hallelujah”. It was a big disappointment when the news turned out to have been a hoax because many Kenyans are waiting for the big day when Purity will pack AND GO! After she took our Jamu to Oslo, she is like leprocy in Kenya-Stockholm.
The most interesting part of the hoax was that a paper printed by the Kenya-Swedish Friendship Association published the news and “thanked the Ambassador” who appeared to have been cooperating with the organization at different fronts.
The organization, which was started by the late James wuod Maggero, hates KSB because of the Maggero stories. They believe that Osewe is a “nut case” who should be crucified but in reality, why should I because I am not Jesus Karast and I am not ready to die for anybody’s sins since Jesus had done so.
They are known to work with the Embassy and the leadership has been unhappy about the anti-Ambassador stand of KSB but that’s life. I have always repeated that we cannot agree on everything and this is an important part of democracy.
Okoth Osewe
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