September 8, 2014

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Uhuru Kenyatta Cuts Short Speech as he is Heckled in Migori by Rowdy Shoe-Throwing Youths

uhuru kenyatta

President Kenyatta’s security team rings the dais in Migori after his meeting was disrupted by pro-ODM youths.Shoes and other objects were thrown at the presidential dais creating a major panic among Uhuru’s security who soon ringed him. Uhuru had to abandon his speech as the unruly youths continued to heckle him. When the situation threatened to get out of hand, Uhuru abandoned his speech after which he was whisked to his car before driving off. Migori governor did not manage to address the gathering because he was constantly shouted down with missiles flying in the air. It was one of the most embarrassing moments for Uhuru Kenyatta at a public gathering since he came to power through a stolen election in April last year.

September 3, 2014

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Shock as Black Woman Gives Birth to White Child

Black woman white child

Black woman white child

A mother has beaten odds of a million-to-one by giving birth to a baby who appears to be of a different race. Catherine Howarth, 32, from Milton Keynes, is Nigerian by heritage, and so was, at first, a little taken aback when she saw her son Jonah for the first time.

With his pale skin, green eyes and light brown hair, Jonah, now three months old, looks like any other new-born baby – but, when seen in his mother’s arms, his uniqueness is obvious.

Recalling the moment she delivered Jonah in Milton Keynes Hospital on June 1, his mother told the Sunday Mirror: ‘The midwife looked at me and looked back down at Jonah and then at me again and couldn’t believe it.’

‘Some children get darker after a few weeks when the skin colour they will have for life starts to become obvious. But you can see from the colour at the tips of their ears what that Jonah was fully white.

‘We have been told I must have been carrying a recessive gene. My parents were from Nigeria and, for as far back as anyone can remember; my family have all been black.’

Husband Richard, 34, who works as a medical recruitment consultant, was equally as shocked when he first saw his son, who is the couple’s first child together.

However, he was primarily just happy that Jonah was strong and healthy, after he got the umbilical cord tangled round his neck during labour – a potentially dangerous complication.

‘The colour of Jonah’s skin is of no concern – Jonah being a healthy and happy baby is what matters.’

The couple have been told that they are unlikely to have another white baby if they have further children, due to the extremely rare combination of genes needed.

The phenomenon is not totally unheard of however.

In 2010, parents Benjaman and Angela Ihegboro – both black – introduced their white-skinned, blonde-haired daughter Nmachi to the world.

The couple, from Woolwich, South London, was as baffled as the scientific community at their daughter’s appearance, being unaware of any white heritage at all in either family.

Doctors at Queen Mary Hospital in Sidcup in Kent, where Nmachi was born, immediately ruled out albinism, leading experts to conclude, that like Jonah, Nmachi’s colouring must be the result of recessive genes.

Benjamin says: ‘No one in the family is aware of any white blood at all, and I don’t really know how you go about looking any further. Part of me wants to know what’s happened here, to have an answer to tell Nmachi when she gets older. But another part of me thinks that it doesn’t matter. Perhaps God made her like this for a reason.

‘And quite honestly, at the end of the day it doesn’t matter whether she is white or black or red or green. She’s beautiful and healthy, and that’s what is important.’

- Daily Mail

September 3, 2014

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Bereaved Susan’s Prayer Meeting/Fund Raising On Saturday 6th September

Following the demise of Susan’s brother, Lucas Omollo, a ”Family Support Committee” has been set up by friends in Stockholm to help the family cope with the tragedy. The Committee is headed by Jared Odero (Chairman), Beatrice Auma (Treasurer), Judy Mwamba (Secretary), Teresa Mawa (Organising Secretary) and Okoth Osewe (Information desk).

The immediate task of the Committee is to organize a Prayer Meeting/Fund raising event in support of the family which is currently in deep mourning following the sudden demise of a loved member who was known for his generosity and good humour.

Susan, the bereaved, is planning to travel to Kenya as soon as possible to join her family in mourning Omollo and to attend his brother’s funeral. The late Omollo passed away on the morning of Monday, September 1st 2014 after a short illness. His death was the least expected and to date the family is still unable to come to terms with the fact that he is gone forever to be with his maker. He was a loved member of the family and, according to Susan, he will be missed greatly, both by the family and all those who knew him as a hard-working and very social person who liked his friends and family.

According to Chairman Jared Odero, the Prayer/Fundraising event is scheduled for Saturday, 6th September 2014 at Norrbackaskolan  (Odensalavägen 3, in Märsta). bus number 581 from märsta station. The venue is a walking distance from Märsta Station. The Committee is appealing to friends, sympathizers, well-wishes and all people of good will to attend the event and show solidarity with the bereaved family at a difficult time when they are undergoing great shock and sorrow following the sudden demise of Omollo. Fot those who will be away, economic support can be facilitated through Swedbank account number 8327-9,234228344.

The planned event will include an all-night boogie with Kenya-Stockholm’s only Lady DJ IK (aka Aikey) assisted by Kenyan Rapper Jack-Jack of the famed troika swaggering by the name “Africa Unitez”. The group has released several hot videos which have all mesmerized their fans, prompting them to call for more.

Just in passing, IK is a hot sensation and since she hit the Kenya-Stockholm’s music scene after relocating to Stockholm , tongues have constantly been wagging because many Kenya-Stockholmers do not really know who she is due to her “keeping a low profile” habit. Aikey’s capacity to pull the audience from their seats onto the dance floor with tickling and tantalizing Kenyan beats is only rivalled by DJ EZ Frank of the former “Sound of Blackness” fame.

Keen music observers within the Kenya-Stockholm scene have theorized that DJ Aikey “is heading to the top” because she has everything it takes to hit the jackpot from the point of view of Udjey. KSB will not reveal more but: Don’t miss the opportunity to combine solidarity with fun, all happening at Central Skolan, Märsta City, in just 2 days.

As usual, there could be more. For further information, call the Chairman at 0735450203 or the Information Desk at 0736533068. For messages of condolences call 0737394258 or 0769376705 otherwise see you theiya!!

Okoth Osewe
Information Desk
Susan Family Supprt Committee

September 1, 2014

1 Comment

Breaking News: Susan Gaya’s Brother Passes on in Kenya: “Open House” at the Gayas

This is to inform esteemed KSB readers that Susan Gaya, the wife of Mark Gaya, has lost her brother, Lucas Omollo, in Kenya. The sad news arrived this morning and immediately plunged the family into deep mourning. According to Mark Gaya, Lucas passed away after a short illness.

Consequently, an “Open House” has been set up at the residence of the Gayas in Märsta from 14.00 daily. The address is Blomstervägen 1A, 195 65 Steningehöjden in Märsta.

Mourners who will be travelling via public transport can alight at Märsta Station then board bus number 582 whose last stop is Steningehöjden. For further information and messages of condolences, call 0737394258 or 0769376705.

Friends, relatives, sympathizers and well-wishers are all invited to the Open House to condole with the bereaved family during this difficult time of great shock and sorrow.

Susan is planning to travel to Kenya to attend her brother’s funeral and the Kenyan community in Stockholm is in the process of establishing a “Family Support Committee” to assist the bereaved family to cope with the tragedy that has struck without notice. Further information will be released as soon as it becomes available.

Those who have lost loved ones in the past know and understand the pain, gloom and sorrow that follows the demise of a close and loved family member. It is usually a period of mourning, soul-searching, reflection and remembrance of the departed soul. What the bereaved family needs at this time of gloom are Prayers to the Almighty and solidarity.

KSB sends deep condolences to the bereaved family and hopes that the family will find strength to go through this painful and very trying moment. Lucas has lived his life and has now departed to be with the Lord. At the end of the day, it is God that giveth life and God that taketh away life. May the departed soul of Lucas Omollo rest in Eternal Peace.

Okoth Osewe 

August 25, 2014

3 Comments

Why Kenya-Stockholm’s Wazee Lost to Vijana at Saturday’s Football Match

IMGP4889

The strongest Kenya-Stockholm Wazees posing with the strongest Vijanaz

Whichever way you look at it, the Wazee-Vijana Football match held about a week ago exposed a stark reality facing Kenya-Stockholm’s wazees that could have remained expunged from scrutiny. The wazees were thwacked 14-12. However, this defeat, with a margin of only 2 goals, should be deemed “respectable” and a sports critic could be persuaded to credit the wazees for having put up such a formidable resistance against the young Turks who, nevertheless, relaxed their tempo apparently to encourage the wazees. A report on the match can only be complete if the circumstances that led to the defeat of wazee are highlighted.

In the first place, many wazees who were expected at the match did not turn up and an investigation by KSB into the circumstances reveals a mix-up of both tragic and hilarious reasons. The failure of some key players to turn up for the match meant that the team was incomplete while wazees who turned up were demoralized from the start because they immediately understood that they were going in against vijana at a disadvantaged position. Why did wazee go missing at such a crucial match?

The first reason is that Kenya-Stockholm’s wazees are suffering from a series of conditions that makes it impossible for most of them to avail themselves at social functions. According to investigations, the biggest problem is that many wazee are suffering from a series of old-age ailments that have quietly forced them to retire from active social life, leave alone participating in a football match.

Key Examples
For example, Mzee Kobe told KSB that although he could have wanted to play, he is suffering from diabetes and he has to inject himself with insulin at regular intervals to stay alive. Together with his advanced age, running around in a football field chasing a tiny ball with vijana is the last thinkable activity that could come to mind. Consequently, he went missing although he did not want to make his absence clear because he did not want to demoralize other wazees. What about Mzee Dennis Afande?

He did not turn up because he is suffering from high blood pressure. One morning, he was going to work when suddenly he could not breathe. He was in the underground train and as his condition worsened, he managed to get out of the train at some station after which he signaled for a passersby to call an ambulance. When he arrived at St Görans hospital, he was rushed into the acute department and after all was said and done, he got back to his feet but was told that he had to go in for more checkups because his blood pressure was too high. The final diagnosis was that he was suffering from HBP and he was put on medication. When the football match was announced, Mzee Dennis was just entering into rehab to try and stabilize his condition. Under the circumstances, he could not participate in the match although he did not want to bother others with his personal health problems.

That brings us to Mzee Makopoyo who suffered a stroke last December. He was lucky because doctors told him that it was just a “mild stroke”. Following the attack, Mzee Makopoyo has been taking things easy because the stroke shocked him. When asked by KSB why he was shocked, the Mzee said that his thinking was that he was still a “Mzee Kijana” and that when he got the stroke, reality struck to the effect that the “kijana” in his “uzee” was actually an illusion because “vijanas” don’t easily get strokes. He did not show up at the football match because he was still “in meditation”.

If the case of Mzee Makopoyo is unfortunate, the situation facing Mzee Tobby Kaweza is just sad to say the least. He is quietly suffering from cancer of the spleen and this condition has removed him from social life. Makopoyo is on cancer drugs and a strict diet. He has been told that his disease is untreatable so what can be done is to slow the cancer down in order to prolong his life. He is 56 years old but he has had to take an early pension because his condition can no longer allow him to work. The cocktail of drugs has made him weak and participating in a football match with vijana is the last thing he can ever think about. He told KSB that when it comes to sports and other social activities he used to attend, he is a gone case. He is basically counting his days on earth and just begged to be left alone. This brings us to Mzee Alfonse Mashakani, a veteran Kenya-Stockholmer who has also gone underground.

Lost Touch With Reality
When KSB finally got him on the phone and tuned him “to talk”, he was surprised. He did not even know about the football match because, according to him, he has “lost touch with reality”. He is currently at Huddinge hospital after suffering a brain hemorrhage. For several weeks, he has been in comatose although at the time of talking to him, he was heading to rehab within the hospital. He told KSB that as a result of the stroke, he was partially paralyzed and that his greatest priority was to regain his health and evaluate what was left of him as he entered the sun-set of his life on earth. This is the sad reality that the football match revealed. Many of Kenya-Stockholm’s wazees are slowly wasting away as a result of diseases. Mzee Mashakani theorized that he suspected that his condition was a consequence of “over-working” and warned fellow Kenyans to take a break in their lives as much as possible to relax and to exercise.

Romantic
As for Mzee Timbuktu, his absence from the match was not due to sickness. He had just hooked up with a Swedish sweetheart and that week-end was critical because he had fixed a date which he was not gonna miss because of some football match that had just popped up. He told KSB that after he divorced his Kenyan wife, he has been hunting for some white creature “to keep him busy” and it was not until recently that he hit the jackpot. He landed a divorced Swedish woman (almost of his age) and that for now, football can wait! What this means is that the match was lost, not because all wazees are sick but because there are others breaking new grounds. However, the next case of Mzee Dreams Kayole is unique.

He had planned to play on the material day but then a domestic crisis cropped up. He has been quarreling a lot with his long-standing Kenyan wife and he told KSB that chances are that they will soon be splitting up. When he told the wife that he was planning to play for the wazee team, the wifie took advantage of the situation and claimed that one problem she has with him is that he has wrong priorities. According to the wifie, instead of staying at home to be with her, he was planning “an outing” at some field in the name of football. A quarrel ensured and punde si punde, the mzee’s pro-football mood was totally messed up. He took a kinyuaji to cool down tempers but by the time he was calm, it was too late because the match had ended. He failed to show up.

Mountain of Flesh
As for Mzee Sarakasi, the explanation was hilarious. He is single and on Friday, a day before the match, he had been to some African reggae club. As the club was closing down and guests were sipping their last drops, something magical happened. Just from nowhere, a fat-assed, mountain-breasted, chubby faced and “meaty” white Swedish blond-haired and gigantic lassie in her forties zoomed around and kissed him right on the lips. Mzee Sarakasi said that he was genuinely stunned. The enormous size of the woman’s “fundamentals” is exactly what turns him on and he associated the whole surprise with “a manner from heaven”. Before he could say “bwaii!!”, the lady said that she liked him “so match” and that she has been watching him throughout the night.

A conversation started and as he begun to translate the romantic implications of the abrupt encounter, the lady asked him if he could follow her home for “an extension” of the party. Interestingly, the lady lived just around the corner, a walking distance. Sarakasi had planned to show up for the match but unfortunately, by saa saba mchana, the new couple was still in bed! When he made a calculation of the time and what he stood to gain from the football match as compared to the huge white flesh he was wrapped into, he decided not to mention anything about the match. He decided to consolidate the new find, dump the match and see how things developed. Mzee Sarakasi therefore went missing.

The wazee who attended the match beat all odds to be there. Despite their waning stamina and other circumstances, they are still fit and can run in the field. Kudos to these wazees! I will be talking about the vijana in the next installment.

Okoth Osewe

August 23, 2014

5 Comments

Explicit Pombe Bangi Video Featuring Raila’s Voice Goes Viral as Jubilee Gov Faints +18

Sonko and Company Planning to Kill Raila Odinga

August 22, 2014

2 Comments

Wazee wa Kazi Thwacked 14-12 by Young Turks

wazrr thwacked

KSB readers may have been wondering why the story of Kenya-Stockholm’s Wazee wa Kazi vs Young Turks Football match has not yet been told. They were thwacked 14-12 in an interesting match which had its twists and turns. Investigations by KSB into why the Wazee lost the match last Saturday has just been completed and will soon hit the headlines.The Wazees were tipped to win but then, things soon turned upside down and the vijana carried the day.

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