Interracial Relationships: A Black Man’s Answer to a White Woman’s Honest Question

White women’s opinion of black women and a brother’s response

It seems that an article was written to Sister 2 Sister magazine by a Caucasian woman who requested a response from black men. I’m so glad she got what she asked for (and more) !!!

I have talked to numerous black men and they continuously comment on how easy it is to control and walk over their white women

I have talked to numerous black men and they continuously comment on how easy it is to control and walk over their white women

Dear Jamie: I’m sorry but I would like to challenge some of your Black male readers. I am a White female who is engaged to a Black male-good-looking, educated and loving. I just don’t understand a lot of Black female’s attitudes about our relationship. My man decided he wanted me because the pickings amongst Black women were slim to none. As he said they were either too fat, too loud, too mean, too argumentative, too needy, too materialistic or carrying too much excess baggage. Before I became engaged, whenever I went out I was constantly approached by Black men, willing to wine and dine me and give me the world. If Black women are so up in arms about us being with their men, why don’t they look at themselves and make some changes. I am tired of the dirty looks I get and snide remarks when we’re out in public. I would like to hear from some Black men about why we are so appealing and coveted by them. Bryant Gumbel just left his wife of 26 years for one of us Charles Barkley, Scottie Pippen, the model Tyson Beckford, Montell Williams, Quincy Jones, James Earl Jones, Harry Belafonte, Sydney Poitier, Kofi Anan, Cuba Gooding Jr., Don Cornelius, Berry Gordy, Billy Blanks, Larry Fishburne, Wesley Snipes… I could go on and on. But, right now, I’m a little angry and that is why I wrote this so hurriedly. Don’t be mad with us White women because so many of your men want us. Get your acts together and learn from us and we may lead you to treat your men better. If I’m wrong, Black men, let me know. Disgusted White Girl, Somewhere in VA RESPONSE

Dear Jamie: I would like to respond to the letter written by A Disgusted White Girl. Let me start by saying that I am a 28-year old black man. I graduated from one of the most prestigious universities in Atlanta, Georgia with a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Business Management. I have a good job at a major corporation and have recently purchased a house. So, I consider myself to be among the ranks of successful black men. I will not use my precious time to slander white people. I just want to set the record straight of why black men date white women. Back in the day, one of the biggest reasons why black men dated white women was because they were considered easy. The black girls in my neighborhood were raised in the church. They were very strict about when they lost their virginity and who they lost it to. Because of our impatience to wait, brothers would look for someone who would give it up easy without too much hassle. So, they turned to the white girls. Nowadays, in my opinion, a lot of brothers date white women because they are docile and easy to control. A lot of black men, because of insecurities, fears, and overall weaknesses, have become intimidated by the strength of our black women. We are afraid that our woman will be more successful than us, make more money than us, drive nicer cars and own bigger houses.

Because of this fear, many black men look for a more docile woman. Someone we can control. I have talked to numerous black men and they continuously comment on how easy it is to control and walk over their white women. I just want to set the record straight. I want A Disgusted White Girl to know that not all successful black men date white women. Brothers like Ahmad Rashad, Denzel Washington, Michael Jordan, Morris Chestnut, Will Smith, Blair Underwood, Kenneth “Babyface” Edmonds, Samuel L. Jackson, and Chris Rock all married strong black women And, to flip the script, there are numerous white men, in and out of the spot light, who openly or secretly desire black women over white women. Ted Danson, Robert DeNiro, and David Bowie to name a few. I just don’t want a disgusted white girl to be misinformed Stop thinking that because you are white that you are some type of goddess. Remember, when black Egyptian Queens like Hatsepshut and Nitorcris were ruling Dynasties and armies of men in Egypt, you were over in the caves of Europe eating raw meat and beating each other over the head with clubs.

Read your history! It was the black woman that taught you how to cook and season your food. It was the black woman that taught you how to raise your children. It was black women who were breast feeding and raising your babies during slavery. It is the black woman that had to endure watching their fathers, husbands, and children beaten, killed, and thrown in jail. Black women were born with two strikes against them: being black and being a woman. And, through all this, Still They Rise! It is because of the black women’s strength, elegance, power, love and beauty that I could> never> date anyone except my black Queen. It is not just the outer beauty that captivates and draws me to them. It is not the fact that they come in all shapes, sizes, colors and shades that I love them. Their inner beauty is what I find most appealing about black women. Their strong spirit, loving and nurturing souls, their integrity, their ability to overcome great obstacles, their willingness to stand for what they believe in, and their determination to succeed and reach their highest potential while enduring great pain and suffering is why I have fallen in love with black women. I honestly believe that your anger is geared more toward jealousy and envy more so than snotty looks. If this were not so, then why do you continuously go to tanning salons to darken your skin? If you are so proud to be white, then why don’t you just be happy with your pale skin? Why do you continue to inject your lips, hips, and breasts with unnatural and dangerous substances so you can look fuller and more voluptuous? I think that your anger is really a result of you wanting to have what the black woman has.

BOTTOM LINE: If I were looking for a docile woman, someone I can walk over and control, I would give you a call. But, unfortunately, I am looking for a Virtuous Woman. Someone that can be a good wife and mother to my children. Someone who can be my best friend and understands my struggles. I am looking for a soul mate. I am looking for a sister and; unfortunately, you do not and CANNOT fit the bill. No offense taken, none given. Signed, Black Royalty Wow!! We must pass this on to make the day of the Black Queens and remind our black kings of what they have.

The end


  • Bullshit! And stupid rascistic, prejudicial bullshit on top of that! Simplistic, narrow minded and destructive, One loses hope reading such cheap generalistations. Both the white woman and more evidently the black mans response was ridiculous! As if all white women were the same and all black men and women were the same. My god! The exact same prejudices that the black man throw on white females (out of complex and frustration?) is thrown on black females by white men i.e. cheap, easy , stupid, the opposite of virtue and less respectable etc., So please dont encourage generalizations on basis of skin colour! Even among africans from different countries there are prejudices as between french speaking countries in west africa and english speaking east africans and between luos and kikuyus, especially now. Please end this in group vs out group thinking and see everyone as an individual!

    KSB: Good advice to readers but next time, mind your “bull-shit” language. It’s the opinion of the white woman vs that of the black man and I do think that they are speaking for themselves. As we said earlier, opinion is an ass-hole. Everybody has one and no one can help that. Regards and keep the peace.

  • if you can dish out you should be able to receive.there is no bullshit,about it just a proper response to her nonsense opinion. She is so full
    of herself and someone need to put her in her place. Thank you brother,

  • The best information and comment I have read from a truly black king. It is great to know black women has not been forgotten
    News for all black women even though we struggle we will always be noticed by our Kings

  • I am white and I have been dating a black man I care for very much for quite awhile. To be honest, this whole answer worries me. I don’t want my man to be with me because he thinks he can walk all over me. I make sure that doesn’t happen. But… I still don’t understand. Maybe are there some other possible reasons why some black men like white women?

  • Konny Kimenththo

    Yes becouse white women loves anus sexual intercourse and they do fingwad by these mighty men on top of white girls/ladies! They also like their pussies licked as they suck dikhead, an immoral act before you kam on their face as they swallow dik-juice and say “i love you darling”.

  • End the generalizations and the preferential prejudices…a human being is as a human being …don’t let history and partisan mindsets trap you

  • Entitlement to beliefs and opinions is true statement but not necessarily truth

  • This is complete bull shit. Not all white women are easy to control, and not all white woman have had an easy life. I’m white and I’ve had to fight for mist things I wanted in life regardless of all the crap around me. Am strong, and most certainly not loose. This racism grows from people who are uneducated. There are white and black women who can stand up for themselves, and some who are weak and easily controlled. It’s not based on race, but mostly life experience in relation to individual personality. Also don’t forget, not all white people have ancestors who’ve had is easy. You should research on other races instead of only knowing about black history.

  • Hahah what a laugh. No offense given? Really?

    Trying to say blacks are the stronger race because of ancient Egypt?
    How about modern times, when there is not one decent black-run country?
    I’m not saying blacks are incapable, I’m just saying it’s silly to bring up stuff from 2500 years ago, when, in current times, there are no well run African countries, save perhaps SA…and we all know the history there.

    Get a grip.

  • @Huh? Just for your information, we have well run African countries aside of SA. Such as Botswana, Namibia, Senegal, Cape verde. Google them up check for yourself. We have our problems in Africa but not all is gloom and doom..

  • NSegele mthikhule

    What a an idiot?Botswana is run by Pensioners from Eu countries who settles there after retire!
    Be informed the Situation in Africa is the same everywhere.Very wealth Europeans Americans buys (ranches in many African countries and use these ranches as second home(summer holidsy camps)Other use it for their filthy agendas like Hunting/Taking Prostitutes there /military trainings/drug deals etc.Namibia (dont even mention it) Okavango delta occuppied Owned by (foreigners from Germany/Eu/ISA.Senegal (better Gambia takes senegal)Cape Verde Portuguise Re-taken (Fake independent) Countries run/owned by Rich colonialists from Portugal.Africa is Cursed and will remain so untill her people think/civilize and undergo radical changes from Chimps to humans!

  • am 19yr from kenya i need a white lady for serious relationship .reply through my email if u like

  • WOW!!! Both of these people are very racist. No truth was spoken here on either side. This is a really sad, ugly post. Shame on you both!!

  • hi am john and i wan a white gal call me at 07296407

  • Mkikuyu Sio Mkenya.

    Mdomo ya hii Kikuyu looks like Kuma la Nyani Itoka Kuzaa Juu ya miti!Ebu msheki huyu Kikuyu sura kama Kuma Alivyojaa Ukabila Ujinga na hata ukafiri> Sura kama hii na Bongo la Nyani hamna fainda kuwa hai>

    Mcheki hata Mdomo yake kaya hunuka kama mavi la mharo tupu>what an idiot Kikuyu bagger!

  • Am job from kisumu kenya looking 4 a decent, lovin n caring white woman frm any whitemans’ countries. To contact: +254710508967 or email me at

  • white lady m 22 black i need u

  • Wow first off I have to say that this post almost brought me to tears. I am a white 19 year old female and I completely agree with everything you said in your response. I work at a restaurant and let me tell you, the blacks work sooo much harder than the white people and I’m not being racist this is just a fact from what I have observed. I have noticed a difference with the black and white couples who come in. The black guys seem so focused on their women while they are sitting there, they don’t pay attention to anyone else, while a lot of the time (not all) the white men are zoning out looking at some other chick or their phone or nothing at all. I have a black manager and he is the sweetest, most hard working man I know. To top it off he’s incredibly attractive. The way you stood up for black women in your post just proves how much respect you have and that honestly is the most attractive quality a man can have. Black women truly did have to overcome a lot of bullshit to get to where they are and there are so many successful and respectful women who come into the restaurant (Applebees). They don’t hide things, they tell it how it is. When I first started working there, I would get frustrated when they wouldn’t like anything about their meal, but I’ve realized that that’s how you get what you want out of life. Why pay for something you really don’t like? It’s just dumb. I had a party of 16 people today and they women who I was dealing with the most about the checks and money and everything was so incredibly sweet that I just wanted to hug her. She made the whole rest of my day. Of course your going to get the rude people who come in, but that is with every single race. I can’t tell you how many rude whites I’ve met who were born rich and don’t have to work for anything they have. I have so much respect for black people, and with all the negativity they get toward them, they push it aside and rise up to the top. I know for a fact I am not strong like that. One negative comment towards me and I cry for the rest of the night lol. Black women actually stand up for themselves and even coming from a female that is the sexiest trait a women can have. I am in college right now and I get frustrated seeing all the white people who drink and party and fail classes while their parents pay for nothing. Then I go to work and see everyone (who is black) working their butts off and making something out of themselves because they weren’t born into the privileges that white people were.

    With all that said, I hope someone reads this post even though its months to late.

  • I support you man…RESPECT UR QUEEN ❤ ! I think the white chick need to take it easy and make peace instead of making the situation she's in worse by commenting such anger!

  • As a black man in an interracial relationship with a white woman, I see this whole post as complete bullshit. Different events happen to different people during their lives which influence the development of their self concept, self esteem, work ethic, etc. Adolescent and adult psychological behaviors are not factually inherited genetically. Theories of psychology are just that as well, THEORIES. Your “Black Queens” must have hit a rut because while some have proven to be a good potential mates, others have proven to simply pester and aggravate me. Having been involved with both black and white females, I know from personal experience. Not all white or black women are “strong” or “intelligent”. Neither are males. The days of the black panther are over sir. You choose to either live your life in shame and self hatred and in hopes to “rise up” alone or accept the fact that us people of color and people absent of are HUMAN BEINGS. If you want to be surrounded by people of your color then move to your homeland (Which most likely is America). Because here in AMERICA we are focusing on the big picture. We are African- AMERICANS just as everyone else in this country is a culturally diffused AMERICAN. This is the melting pot. Not everyone will understand or accept this and I know that, but filling this young woman’s mind with your bullshit biased rhetoric cannot go unspoken. When people say “Respect your Queen” they should refer to white women as well. Welcome to 2014. 20 More years and the majority of small minds such as what was displayed above will have diminished. It hurts my heart to read such garbage. Move forward TOGETHER. Bias NO ONE.

    • The best answer to a really ridiculous debate…I’m female,Greek, open-minded, highly educated, succesful, bla bla bla, WHITE (nobody’s perfect…lool) and due to our limited choices here in Greece, we are “forced” to date other white people…Well, mates/brothers/fellow readers, pay attention to this: I’m often being bullied because I carry all the personality “qualities” you find in your “black queens” AND because my skin tone is too pale…nature’s fault??? who knows? but most of all I get all the negative attention and comments because I’m 7 years older than my partner! I’m very frustrated reading all this stupid comments here,because I feel you’re neglecting the “person” factor.I would love to date a black guy eventually, or WHOEVER caring, trusting, kind-hearted, healthy inside and outside, regardless skin tone, even if I’ll be nominated for the “most hateful woman ever”, because I’ m happy, appreciated and loved.
      @white lady: Please reconsider taking professional help: you’re way tooooo insecure with very low self esteem.
      @black guy: Please reconsider replying to relative posts in the future and kiss good bye your “well-educated” quality…you’re nothing but a toddler in life’s kindergarden…

      Take it easy,everybody, we’ll all burn under the same sun…

      P.S.: Greek girls really kick butts, ask our men 😀

    • Very well spoken!!!! Thank you

  • You all claim to be educated human beings but you are all hypocrites because your having an arguement based on the pigment in your skin.

  • Black and white dating has been a controversial topic for over a decade and anyone practicing it is seen differently. I came across this site called www dot blackwhitemate dot com and my heart was really feeling very light. The members were very genuine and the site offered great insights on interracial dating.

  • Are you kidding?!?

    Both of them are being stubborn racists. That’s all it is. White women aren’t easy, and women of Native African decent are no worse then women from any other background. True, there are cultural differences, but that’s not bad. Bottom line: Everyone needs to learn to respect everyone else.

  • First off no one should be assuming that white or black likes one or the other… Either like what they like for whatever reason. And black king! Lol your response is very insulting, I quote ; I will call you if I want a woman I can control and walk all over ? Ignorent ! Over Half the black females I know HAVE to cook good meals to keep the men around but their kids will be making their own meals or eating fast food because woman do not spend their life in the kitchen like they used to back in the day. From your response you sound very old school and ignorent! As of today times have changed and black men that make it out if their own countries usually end up with a woman outside their race… Numbers have shown the difference over the last 10 year’s telling us how black men marrien white woman are only increasing… If you want history! White woman are concidered exoctic to the black man beside the classic black beauty that has been taught to black woman…. So with all that being said some facts do shown black men being more interested in white woman not saying all black men are though.

  • So are all black women church goers and innocent?I take it you do not watch enough tv to know what’s going on in the world?This post about black women being better than white women is so dumb 1stly we as humans need to realise that when any race has to wear weaves and wigs what does that tell you?inferior DNA maybe and white women just look better coming from me a neutral who is not black or white,truth is black men go for women with real hair


  • @ white woman:
    Women tend to be jealous. When I was 18 (I am 27 now) and on holliday in Spain the local girls told me ‘Spanish boys are for Spanish girls and Belgian boys are for Belgian girls”. Though in this case wouldn’t outrule racism. Just don’t generalize! You’re definately not perfect either!
    @ black man: you’re a racist

  • @ Konny Kimenththo: I haven’t quiet decided yet. Are you funny or a complete idiote…

  • BTW see comments above about how you black men shouldn’t forget about your black women. That means some black women do feel forgotten. So those women probabely might look angrily at a white woman in a white-women-black-man relationship.

  • Life Is Way Too Short! We Live Once! Ican Only See Racist Comments,work Hard,enjoy And Live Happy Life,with Ur Choosen Patner,put Away With Racism,ignore It.Have Great Day

  • I need white woman 4a relationship

  • To be honest I’m the type of men that likes all women regards of what race they are. So I’m just gonna tell you on why I a black man likes white women. First I don’t just like whit women I love white women.I think that black and white skin looks beautiful next to each other it highlights and compliments the other another is their beautiful hair short ,long and the way they smile just makes me fall in love on first site. They are very supporting also sensitive about there lovers goals and ambitious. Man I can go on all day but I dont wana grab to much hate or attention.

  • I’d like to know what kind of black men this brotha was talking to. Not all black men date white women because he knows can walk all over her or because she was easy, a man only does what a woman allows him to do and skin color has nothing to do with it. Black women ARE beautiful and they do have to deal with and have endured a lot, but it’s also the black woman who’s teaching black males to feel insecure and to be disrespectful to her. And who wants to be with someone who can be controlled and walked on anyway?

  • I am really looking for a white lady to date. please connect me.

    Thank you

  • I like White woman to fuck it

  • So disgusting and tragic to see beautiful white people waste the betters years of their lives making butt-ugly babies that are destined to BURN.

  • Hey sapphire, I and i’m sure many will agree that interracial kids are one of the most beautiful things, not that i’m saying kids that are only one race aren’t beautiful also cause they are. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it should not be judge by someones skin color.

    To Everyone, the white woman, her husband and the black man we’re wrong, for all their comments were stereotypical. So please stop turning a blind eye to both and under stand they were all wrong. The only thing that i found acceptable in their post were that they all knew they’re type, but they should make it seem like everyone is like. For as a black women I know that there is black, white, latino, indian, and asian men/women who would never date me for they have a type that is strick based on physical appearance, on the other hand there is black, white, latino, indian, and asian men/women that would date because they too have strick physical types or don’t judge the beauty of some based on their physical appearance.

  • It’s a shame that such conversation would take place. I am a strong very well educated on both ends of the spectrum of book and street smart female. Love does not have anything to do with race, education, or political beliefs. For a disgusted white female to write such a hasty article that is of her own insecurity…….remember you are suppose to be in love with a man……Who cares what others think. For the gentleman who replied as such all I can do is smh……all I can say to the both are as follows … several ethnic backgrounds both educated and uneducated, along with all income levels in a room……poke each person finger and we all bleed RED. I am honestly grateful my parents taught us this lesson at a very young age. People who hate will hate until they find their own. Couples who are in love with each other and ready to fight the world together will tell you……they wouldn’t care if their partner was pink with green poked dots as long as their heart was the same. Such thinking is what keeps the human race divided and divided we fall.

  • Veronica Range

    Well said my beauitful black man! You put her in her place without loosing your tsvt anf dignity!!!

  • My wife has a black boyfriend with my permission and now he wants to have a baby with her, I would love to see my wife’s belly swelled with a black baby.

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