Pregnant Woman “Does not Know” the Daddie of Her Unborn Kid
Liberal consumers of goods put on “DNA alert”
As the Kenya-Stockholm scandal week enters critical stages, it has emerged that a middle-aged Kenyan woman currently pregnant does not know the daddie of her unborn child. This revelation surfaced at a private Kenyan party where the woman apparently announced that she has been unable to track down the exact Kenyan dude who fired the missile that left her pregnant following an all-night wrestling match at the bedroom corner.
Addressing friends after she had been swallowing one too many, the woman is reported to have said that every Kenyan male who may have touched or explored her precious goods in the last two months (at the time of the announcement) is a prime suspect. She added that although she had taken contact with all the possible suspects, they had all denied responsibility.
“I wish to put them on notice that they should all prepare for a DNA test in the coming months because while I am prepared to carry the baby to term, the person who planted the seed must also take responsibility”, she is reported to have declared amid shouts of “toboa… toboa” as vinywaji flowed liberally down the throats of the revelers who were increasingly becoming excited with the revelations.
The woman, who seemed not to have been ashamed of making such a dramatic announcement at a house boogie, said that there is no way a child can be born in Sweden without the father being identified. “For now you can hide but I have all your names safely kept and one day, you will answer because this is not Kenya”, she warned.
She said that she is a single mother and that some Kenyan men had taken advantage of her vulnerability when she was experiencing economic difficulties to consume her goods before running away. She went into details how she was lured with short-term solutions to her personal problems but after she spread her legs, every man simply melted away.
Some friends were surprised with the woman’s openness, given the sensitivity of the matter at a personal level. She blamed herself for being so naïve although she added that she had become much more cleaver from her experiences. She admitted that she had just emerged from a bitter divorce and that she did not have a lot of experience in handling men since she has only been tied to one man for years before their relationship hit the rocks.
The woman is so beautiful that it is whispered that only a blind man can fail to fall in love with her goods. Apart from her powerful physical attraction, her boobs and bums are well rounded and, combined with her stylish approach to attire, jewelry, hair-style, make-up and other key aspects of general “female sophistication”, she carries herself with the posture of a reigning princess. It is not therefore surprising that she has been sweeping men off their feet and loading them on the bed to get her little parts serviced with equipments of different shapes and sizes.