In English, the word “slut” is very offensive because it means a “prostitute” or an immoral woman. In Swedish, it simply means “finished” so if you are touring Sweden and you happen to benefit from an involuntary eavesdropping between Swedes, a mix of “slut” in the conversation has nothing to do with prostitution. The word “suga” means “suck”, not “sugar” so don’t rush to the kitchen to fetch some sugar simply because tea is on the table because your master may be asking for something else.
Sometimes, you might be very unlucky, because without notice, the word “fuck” might also pop up in a converstation without notice. Luckily, it’s not the “fuck” that may be ringing a bell in your mind. It’s actually spelt “fack” and the word might mean anything connected to trade, labour, locker, pigeon-hole , compartment or category.
To come to the point, facket is a Trade Union and has nothing to do with the expression “fack it”. Likewise, fackförening has nothing to do with “fack foreigners”. In the same token, “fackpumpa” has nothing to do with “fuck a pump”. The word refers to the bosses of a Trade Union. If you are an English speaker and you try to bring some Swedish words too close to an English understanding, you might be very disappointed.
When you are in a pub and you hear the word “sex” flying in the air, try to put a break to your weird translation because “sex” in Swedish is simply the number six pronto! It follows that if you have six Swedish crowns left in your pocket, you refer to the amount as “sex”. If you expect to arrive at six o’clock, you can comfortably refer to your expected time of arrival as “sex” and no one will be offended.
The situation might become a bit complicated if the word “sex” is mixed in the conversation with another funny word – “lova”. Naturally, and in your English orientation, the word “lova” is so close to the the word “love” and one might be misled to think that “lova” was borrowed from the word “love”. Far from it.
The word “lova” means “promise”. It is not like the word “kom” which means “come”. Just before I proceed, the word “jag” in Swedish means “I” (not a jag of water) so if you say that “jag kommer”, it means “I am coming”. Secondly, the word “dig” means “you” and has nothing to do with digging the soil. And now comes the tricky mix.
If a Swedish girl has been teaching you Swedish and she says “jag lova dig”, it doesn’t mean “I love you”. In fact, if she says “jag kommer klokan sex”, you might be forgiven if you are male and you think that she has already given in and is coming for sex. “Jag lova dig, kom klokan sex” does not mean “I love you come for sex”. It means “I promise you come at six o’cklock!” It’s that tricky.
“Hiss” is not a funny sound a snake produces. It is the elevator in a building while “plan 4” is not the “4th plan” but the fourth floor. “The word “hit” is an adverb which means “here” or so far. It has little to do with striking someone on the face with a blow.
If a swede talks about “kuk”, don’t even think about it because that’s the male sexual organ which has nothing to do with “cooking”. Likewise, the word “puss-puss” has no connection with “pussy” so take note. It means “smooch-smooch” and when a telephone conversation ends with “puss-puss”, it could be referring to an imaginary peck or kiss depending on the relationship. If a Swedish spouse says “puss-puss” after a phone contact, try your best to say the same because this maintains the equilibrium.
When getting married is “getting poisoned…”
One day, a guy from Togo walked into a snack shop with his Swedish girlfriend. The dude did not understand Swedish and when the girl ordered “negerbollar” (nigger balls), the dude was so shocked and before an explanation could follow, he had left the place running as fast as his legs could carry him. He thought that there may have been a conspiracy with the snack store to chop off his nigger-balls for dinner. Little did he know that the girl was simply ordering “chocolate balls” for both of them. Because of the racist overtones of the word, it has since been removed from the Swedish vocabulary.
From the point of view of language, the situation changes when one begins to understand the Swedish language where new confusion begins to set in. For example, the word “gyft” means “drug”, “poison”, “toxin” and “venom”. However, the word could assume a totally different meaning depending on context. This is because it also means “married”, “wedded” or “spoused”.
It follows that the phrase “they have married” could mean they have “poisoned themselves” or if you are intending to marry someone, the phrase you use in Swedish is the equivalent of saying that “I am going to poison myself”. In fact, if your listener is not aware that you are about to get married, the person may be very worried about you and may wonder why you want to poison yourself.
Given the challenges of married life, the Swedes ought to find a new word for getting married. Using a word that means “poison” could be blamed for the high divorce rate in Sweden because if you have to “poison” yourself when getting married, the relationship could start on a sour note.
When you overhear a Swede talking about “mun”, relax because it’s not the “moon” up in the sky above but the “mouth”. Further, “ben” in not the name of some male friend. It is the “leg” you use for walking while “ketch up” is not “catch up”. It means “tomato source”.
If you are sent to go and buy “glass”, do not come back with an object for drinking water. Get an ice cream. It might be hot and the Swede wants to cool down the throat! “Kanon” has little to do with military canons. It means “fantastic” while “skrat” does not mean “scratch”. It means “laughter”. If someone laughed, the Swede will say “han skrat”. Worse still, “skatt” has little to do with the “mini skirt”. It means “tax” and if a Swede asks you about “skatt” in your country, he/she may be trying to find out about taxation in your Republic, not how long or short the mini skirt can be. “Bild” is not “build” but means “photo” so get it right. A “kud” is not a person from Kurdistan. It is a pillow.
For Swahili speakers, don’t be surprised when you hear the word “tacka-tacka” which means “garbage” in Swahili (takataka) because in Swedish, the word means “thank you”. Don’t be ashamed to tell a Swede “tacka-tacka” following a favour. The Swede will appreciate very much. Still on Swahili, the word “pipa” does not mean “dustbin”. It means “pipe” or “whistle”. Let me leave it there for now.
Okoth Osewe
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14 Swedish words that give me the giggles
Tell a Swede you’re learning Swedish, and within 30 seconds you’ll be sucked into a deep, nuanced explanation of what “lagom” means. It’s practically a rule of nature. If you’re familiar with the story of Goldilocks and The Three Bears, you’ll understand lagom. It’s when things are not too big, not too small, not too hot, not too cold, not too much, not too little… when things are just right.
Once you get a little deeper into Swedish, however, you’ll start finding a treasure trove of hilariously strange words and unexpected combinations. Jump on a bus, and you’ll find yourself on a journey to—horrors!—some unexplained slutstation… or last stop. Driving a car? Make sure you know the difference between an infart and an utfart, and breathe a sigh of relief when you finally get through yet another stretch of highway construction: fullfart ahead!
Those are just the tip of the iceberg. Here are some of my favorite Swedish words that make me giggle, even more than a year in!
Bra: Not what you think it is! Bra just means good.
BH: Now that’s a bra! Even better, BH stands for brösthållare, which literally means “breast holder.” Yes. Who wouldn’t get turned on by a sexy breast holder?
Tandkött, Bröstvårta: Your gums, I hate to tell you, are nothing but “teeth meat.” And your nipples? Breast warts. This is helping you love your body, right?
Slutspurt: Oh, baby, oh, baby! Every time I see a slutspurt, I get in a shopping mood. That’s because slutspurt is usually used in a context that means “final sale.” What were you thinking?
Tjuvtitta, Tjuvlyssna: Att tjuva is to steal, so tjuvtitta is to “steal-look,” or peek at something you’re not supposed to! Similarly, tjuvlyssna is to “steal-listen,” or eavesdrop. What perfectly descriptive combinations.
Sockergris: In English, the slightly sugar-addicted might have a sweet tooth. In Sweden, the candy fanatics among us are called “sugar pigs.” I swear to all that is holy, the diet starts now.
Trivselbit: You know your great-great-aunt, the one who hosted three hour family dinners on real silver dinnerware and looked disapprovingly at you if you stole the last cookie from under her watchful eye? Well, she was teaching you a valuable life lesson for living in Sweden—don’t ever be the one to take the last piece of whatever it is you’re serving. That last pastry or piece of cake is the trivselbit, the comfort or security piece, and leaving it in peace is a sacred rule of Swedish table manners. Take the second-to-last piece, though, and you’re fine.
Kiss, puss: When is kiss not a kiss? When it’s pee. When is puss not a word that would result in X-rated search results? When it’s a kiss. You’ve been warned.
Gift: Gift (pronounced like “yift”) means “married.” Gift also means “poisonous.” Perhaps I am moving my relationship to the United States.
Nattuggla: Such a fun word to say: not-oogla! It means “night owl,” someone who likes to stay up late at night. Cuteness.
Kock: The Swedish word for “cook,” as in a Top Chef cook. Apparently this poses a fairly common Swenglish problem (or at least a common situation to joke about) given the way its pronounced. Imagine you’re on vacation somewhere and you have just the most delicious meal ever. What do you say? My compliments to the kock…
Farthinder: Yes, I have a 12 year old boy’s sense of humor. Fart means speed, so a farthinder is a speed bump. Not that this will stop me from making ridiculous jokes involving beans.
Blåmärke, blåögd: A bruise, taken literally, is a “blue mark.” Calling someone “blue-eyed,” or blåögd, is not just a physical description—it means he or she is naïve.
Kackerlacka!: I love this word. Kackerlacka, kackerlacka, kackerlacka!!! Too bad it means cockroach instead of something fun like “surprise” or “birthday party.”
That’s it for now! What other Swedish words make you laugh?
Kate Reuterswärd – Expat
http://blogs.sweden.se/expat/2011/10/09/14-swedish-words-that-give-me-the-giggles/
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