The Burden of Being a Luo in Kenya

A Luo man dressed like a witch doctor

Being a member of any ethnic group in Kenya carries with it a burden. Whether you are a Luo, a Kikuyu, a Luhya, a Kalenjin, a Kamba, a Mjikenda or a member of any of the forty two ethinc groups that form the Kenyan nation, there is usually a distinct stereotyping of any of the ethnic groups, a situation that can create what I call “a burden”. It is a burden because the stereotyping may not apply for many Kenyans although, in many cases, the victims have to live with them. Under this circumstance, what is the burden of being a Luo? The following points could be true or false depending on how you look at them. This is not a blue-print but a rough guide of what it takes to be a Luo in Kenya.

In politics, you are always accused of supporting or being loyal to the political family of the late Jaramogi Oginga Odinga whose son, Raila Odinga, is currently the centre of gravity in Kenyan politics.

In football, you are likely to be accused of supporting Gor Mahia Football Club named after the legendry Luo fighter, Gor Mahia. Legend has it that Luanda Magere turned into a stone after his shadow was speared in battle following betrayal by a woman he was given to marry by the enemy. According to the legend, Gor Mahia’s humanity lay on his shadow, a secret that was discovered by the woman.

As a Luo, you are likely to be accused of being boisterous, proud and exhibitionistic especially if you purchase a Benz car, a plasma TV or a leather sofa set. As a Luo, you have to be prepared for accusations of being materialistic and showy even if you are not. The story goes that a Luo would rather secure a bank loan to purchase a comfortable sofa set even if such a move would interfere with the kitchen budget. The saying goes that a Luo would rather sit comfortably on such a sofa set, even on an empty stomach, rather than have plenty of food but sitting on a mat on the floor or a wooden stool.

As a Luo, you have to be prepared for accusations of being lazy especially on work related issues. Even if you break your back daily to earn a living, you will still have to face the accusation of laziness and the justification is that because of this laziness, there is constant shortage of tapped water in Kisumu city despite the city being home to the largest fresh water lake in Africa, Lake Victoria. Interestingly, the explanation behind the apparent laziness of Luos is borne out of the assumption that since all Luos are supposedly borne along the shores of Lake Victoria, they are more used to getting free fish from the lake daily than digging the soil then waiting for months for food to grow so that the harvesting season can come before people can eat. For a Luo (according to this school of thought), if there is no food in the morning, the Luo goes out into the lake and returns with plenty of fish. No planting or weeding or, sometimes, waiting for the rain to fall before planted seeds can begin to grow.

Loving the dead “too much”
Politically, a Luo will always face the accusation of “wanting to be in the opposition”. This accusation was born out of decades of political marginalization by the Kenyatta, the Moi and, now, the Kibaki government. With Luos playing no big role in government, they have always been forced into the opposition. Since February 2008, this accusation has reduced somewhat because Raila Odinga, a Luo, has been the Prime Minister thereby “removing the Luos from the opposition”.  Many Luos must have been relieved of this burden as Raila continued to play his game in the Coalition government.

If you are a Luo, you have to be prepared for being accused of always “being power hungry”. The explanation is that Oginga Odinga, the first Vice President of Kenya, was power hungry and that this thirst for power is what drove him to part ways with Uhuru Kenyatta’s father, the late Mzee jomo Kenyatta. In the early 70s, some Kenyans tried to stage a coup against the Kenyatta government and a Luo was said to have led the coup before he was arrested. The reason was because Luos are always “power hungry”.

Then, in 1982, the government of former dictator Daniel arap moi was actually overthrown for some hours and the coup leader happened to have been Hezekia Ochuka, a Luo. For some Kenyans, this confirmed the perception that Luos were actually power hungry for how else could a Luo have led the coup? Ochuka was subsequently executed by Moi.  Raila Odinga has had to face a lot of accusations of having been a key member of the 1982 coup plotters and it was not until after the 2007 elections that propaganda that Raila’s participation in the coup was due to thirst for power ended. The late Dr. Robert Ouko was allegedly killed by the Moi government because he was “power hungry”. At the time of his death, the explanation was that Western powers were grooming him to take over the leadership of Kenya and that when Moi heard about the plot, he killed Dr. Ouko.

Any Luo walking in town is usually seen as a fish monger. If you are a Luo born abroad and you have never tasted fish, you only need to say that your name is “Otieno” before you are awarded a “fish-monger’s” certificate.

If you are a Luo, then you just love the dead too much. You have too many rituals for the dead for no apparent reason. Tero buru, a ritual performed after burial, but which is increasingly becoming obsolete, remains a permanent mark of the Luo person even for those who do not know how Tero buru is usually conducted. In Kenya, Luos are routinely accused of turning funerals into feasting camps, in the process, draining the bereaved family which, sometimes, has to slaughter bulls to feed the mourners. I don’t have to go into the burden linked to accusations of Luo men always seeking to inherit the wives of the dead. According to one unproven theory, the sole reason why HIV/Aids is prevalent in Luo Nyanza is because wife inheritance is rampant in the province. This accusation has always been levelled despite lack of research to back it up.

Another burden of being a Luo is that you are always accused of thinking that Luos are the most learned, intelligent, smart and civilized people in Kenya. The saying goes that because of this intelligence, Luo leaders led by Oginga Odinga, decided to negotiate Kenya’s independence with the British colonialists as Kikuyus were being killed in the bush during the Mau Mau war. There is no validity in these accusations but then, if you are a Luo, then you may just have to face them or will, in a matter of time, face them in the future.

Because of these stereotyping, being a Kenyan Luo is not easy. What is the burden of being your tribe? Let us know.

Okoth Osewe

39 comments

  • Bene a Bene Binai

    A Luo guy looks pretty well as a Gentleman wearing a three-Piece suit with a tie!
    and the next thing a Kikuyu thug will hunt a well dressed Luo and thief his wallet!
    Luos men are very tall attractive to white ladies.

    luos prefer speaking English than their native luo language!Luos are very bright in education perhaps for their Fish diet!

    their Women are very strong huge in size unlike kikuyu short stout ans fat-assed tuvupis with funny teeth and flamingo legs!

  • I am not a Luo and i happen to think that ethnic stereotypes although can be funny sometimes are dangerous. Living in a very multicultural society i have learned to never make any assumption about people. I actually love diversity and believe it brings more good than harm. please feel free to visit my blog http://www.ethnicconnect.com

  • OO, sasa hii ni topic gani umetuletea hapa? I will jump in and say that if I were to form a company, 90 percent of my workers would be Luos as they are proud workers who love their positions and would not do anything foolish to bring down the company. A Luo wants to look smart, and will never jeopardise the company that is making him buy the sofa set, and even the Mercedes Benz. On the other hand, less than 5 percent of my workers would be Kikuyus. Yes, they work hard, but to bring you down so that they could take your place, or form another company to rival yours. A Luo will give you his shirt and he will walk bare chest. Check even what happened in politics: Jaramogi refused to lead the country because he felt Jomo was the right person. Raila puts aside his political ambitions and declared “Kibaki Tosha” and Mwai became Kenya’s third Prezzo. A Luo does not love being in the opposition, he is pushed into the opposition. A Kikuyu wants to just keep, keep and keep and when he must share, it is with his brother only. Orwa was teaching Kinuthia to be a better Kenyan, but unfortunately a helicopter crash closed that chapter prematurely.

    KSB: Munene, it would be interesting to read about the burden of being a Kikuyu. Readers need a short break ama?

  • May be am Luo without knowing, since I have this symptoms which they carry,but I was born a Kikuyu.

    KSB: Welcome to the Club. Could yr mom have lived in Kisumu b4 u were born?

  • OO, I fully agree with you. The only problem is that unlike the Luo’s burden which is often round and they are able to place it on their head, the Kikuyu burden is big and not even a rectangle like you would expect of a big box. It is jagged and can inflict very seriously injuries if you attempt to carry it. That is the Kikuyu burden. Anyone who is good in narrative should be requested to write something about this burden. For example, when I was growing up, my Kikuyu people used to say that people from Kakamega were fond of placing funeral announcements on radio. Today more than 90 percent of funeral announcements on the national radio are of dead Kikuyus. When I was growing up they used to say that Luos used to feast at funerals. Today Kikuyus carry out weddings (eating the best food, wearing white and showing off their cars) at funerals in the name of maombolezi. Luos do not do it as a show off but as a social act where they console the bereaved and raise money to send the remains to Nyalgunga for burial. What a tangled web we spin!

    KSB: You don’t need to go far to get a writer. Am here and we could collaborate to bang a storo at KSB.

  • Definition of a LUO

    Special one for my brothers from the Lakeside. Omera, wot is!?

    So, being a Luo is not a tribe (or a community), it is a lifestyle.

    Infact, it is no longer just a lifestyle, it is a responsibility.

    “When you tell a Luo to meet you at Ambassador stage, he arrives and informs you (over the phone) that he is standing opposite the Hilton Hotel.” – Phelix Jalang’o Odiwor

    So, where do you belong? Here’s the difference.

    1. Luoz – are all over the world …yaani diasporic, highly educated and articulate. I mean Obama type of people… They will die supporting Arsenal FC, Brazil, All Blacks, Harambee Stars and Gor Mahia.

    They also understand cricket.

    2. Luos – are born and raised in Kisumu, probably went to Kisumu Boys/Girls High schools, then joined Maseno University or Kisumu Poly, work along Oginga Odinga Street in Kisumu and have never travelled past Ahero!

    They adore boda boda and Guinness.

    3. Jeng’ – were probably born and raised in Nai (read Nairobi ), lived in Lang’ata …or surrounding areas, have been to shags once or twice for dani’s (grandy’s) funeral coz paros insisted. Quotes his/her shags as being upcountry somewhere in Nyanza. You say “amosi omera” to them and they respond “niaje jo vipi”.

    During football, they only attend Gor Mahia vs AFC matches played specifically at the Nyayo Stadium (which they insist is called ‘The Brrr… arena’ (Coca-Cola Stadium)

    4. Mjaluo – was born in Mombasa , speaks swahili sanifu, broken English and no mother tongue. Full names are Otieno Abdalla or Anyango Amina… (you name it) Is a Muslim, lives in Ganjoni or surrounding areas.

    They classify Kisumu people are “watu wa bara”.

    5. Jaluo – Odhis ngima tek owada, we a bed e gweng’ ka!! OMERA!!!!

    6. Wajaka – are born and raised in Eastlands predominantly Ololo, Okongo, Jeri, Salem , Bangla, Ofaro, Marish, Mbote, and Huruma. They have never gone past Ungem and they only know that they are Luos because of their second names.

    They know Kisumu is a town near Nakuru, where you pass ukiishiia kwa kina mbuyu…

    Written by one funny Martha Bitta
    .

  • It is not easy being Luo……

    Carrying a foreskin and two balls around…

    This is meant to be with a light touch. Take it as such but may be a good lesson. No tribal abuses here.

    My fellow foreskin holders will bear me witness that being a Luo is not a very easy thing. People place very high expectations of you. Luos are known to be very high performers in whatever they do. Be it throwing stones, uprooting the Kibera railway and tapping that p***y. Luos have produced the highest number of best performing professors, doctors and lawyers. This was despite the attempts by successive governments to retard development in Luoland. But it is still very difficult being a Luo. You make small mistake and the foreskin word will be thrown all round. It is as if people never owned a foreskin at one point in their lives. Even people who are battered by women or burry live calves have the audacity to mention the foreskin word.

    However, the following behaviour of Luos leaves one wondering, maybe these wife battered people may be right. Luo behaviour is uniform wherever you go:-Is it in their genes?, has it to do with the foreskin?, is it excessive consumption of fish?

    Figure the following:-
    1. When Ojode’s body arrived in Ndhiwa, they demanded to view the body. There were demonstrations with bonfires being lit on the road. We know the body was burnt beyond recognition. Is this what they wanted to view? Was is not better to be more sensitive to the family?.It was so disheartening to see the grieving wife pleading with the fools. Then on the burial day, the fools started causing mayhem until Kajwang had to speak in Luo to make them stop. This was despite the fact that the burial was being beamed live. Mand oywech, ufuwo kaguok!!`Stupid!!!

    2. During the PEV, Luos burned down a Ministry of Works Yard in Oyugis with all the GOK vehicles packed therein. This is nowhere near Ndhiwa. They only left the Bulldozers because in Luo they are called “Tinga Tinga”. They were heading to the local district hospital to raze it down before they were repulsed by the Police. Isn’t this where they get medical attention? Thinking of it makes one feel like herding these fools into one big compound and chopping off the foreskin with a blunt stone!!!

    3. In Kisumu, they were matching towards a water treatment plant to burn it down. Had it not been for quick action by the police, there was going to be no water in Kisumu the whole period of PEV. Then they would protest that there is no water. Jinga kabisa!

    4. At Boya around Ahero, they razed down the local district agriculture office with all the computers plus the vehicles packed within the compound. This is foolishness of the highest order. I hear there is one who looted his own house then burned it down. The next day he was heard saying sirkal isaidie.

    5. In Kisumu, you could see a Luo man looting a huge Sofaset, TV, groundnuts and blankets, leaving the more valuable laptops and mobiles. In Oyugis, a woman was shot dead having looted cooking fat from a Supermarket.

    6. Any time Museveni mentions the word Migingo, a railway line is uprooted in Kibera. This is the same line which ferries the Luo to Kisumu when they go for leave with all their household goods.

    7. Most Gor Mahia supporters are Luo, when they lose a match they stone people, when they win they celebrate by stoning people.

    8. When a Luo goes for annual leave, he carries all his household belongings in Nyaugenya Bus and carries back to Nairobi with Otange Bus Service when his leave ends.

    Jothurwa, you may say ni awuoyo marach, but isn’t this foolishness?.Such stupid behaviour cannot be tolerated in present day Kenya. People nyaka behave like mature human beings not tree monkeys. I think the Luo rite of passage of removing 6 teeth without anesthesia should be brought back to bring back maturity. This was actually more painful than circumcision. I am very annoyed, iya owang’ kabisa!!!

    Otherwise I concur with the calf buriers that you are foolish!

    For those who are yet to get PhDs, this is a fertile ground for research with the following possible hypotheses.

    1. The level of stupidity of a Luo man is proportionately related to the length of his foreskin.
    2. The amount of fish a Luo consumes is directly related to the level of his stupidity
    3. Luo behaviour is in the genes, isolate the gene and design ways of removing it and you will earn millions

    Jaluo msilete matusi hapa,huu ndio ukweli wa mambo…

    Proud Luo

  • Being a Luo is no longer a lifestyle is a responsibility
    Just imagine of world without a Luo!!

    It’s back again…… makes me happy

    OMERA, BUT DO I SAY!!!.

    Imagine a world without Luos???????

    SAD……………

    VERY SAD……………..

    READ ON ……………………………….

    Doctor : What happened to your arm?

    Oludhe : I broke it.

    Doctor : Where and How did that happen?

    Oludhe : Okey. It was a normal Saturday afternoon. I was on the second

    floor balcony of that my house in Karen, not the one in Lavington

    sip…

    Doctor : Is that where you broke your arm,the balcony?

    Oludhe : No! no … I was sipping that my scotch whisky slowly… you

    know my son recently came from the UK and he brought me some blue

    label. Anyway… as I continued sipping, I realised that the sun’s

    rays were not getting directly to me, as the satellite dish was

    blocking them. Before I could instruct the domestic engineer to

    automatically turn away the dish, my butler James came up the balcony

    and informed me that there was this call on my social cellular phone .

    I reminded him to always bring the cellular up instead of calling me.

    As I hurried down the marble escalator …

    Doctor : I guess that is when you…

    Oludhe : No, as I was going down I noticed the garage door was open

    and a car alarm was on. I stopped to check and indeed the new model

    Prado was missing. I knew Mama Akinyi my beautiful second wife had

    taken it. Akinyi is our second daughter, now in Boston USA and is

    named after my late grand mother, who passed away in 1972 after a sort

    illness. I have always warned Mama Akinyi never to use the 4 by 4 on

    weekends, because of the recent spate of car-jackings. I always advise

    her to either use the Mercedes 230E or the BMW 325I which are not very

    attractive for thugs. That reminds me, I will have to tell my

    secretary to call “car-track ” first thing on Monday – Jowa! I need to

    update my mobility inventory with them.So as I was saying….

    Doctor : (With some laughter) Yes Mr Oluthe, car theft incidences are

    rising and it is becoming a dangerous place. But how did you break

    your arm?

    Oludhe : Yes I was coming to that. On my way to pick the cell tel I

    heard a hissing sound. I stopped to check where it was coming from.

    Ahh, it was from the bathroom.. Mama Akinyi, for some reason, had left

    the Jacuzzi on. Luckily the temp and speed were at the minimum. I

    usually recommend such speed and temp so that we do not overload the

    UPS support system , especially when our son’s home theatre system is

    on .

    Doctor : Mr Olu…

    Oludhe : Just wait… So I when I picked up the phone, I said Hello,

    Hello…Hello, but nothing. I became upset because I think the caller

    from state house had disconnected, I cant understand why he didn’t

    leave a message after the beep.All my un-answered calls including the

    car mobiles are automatically redirected to a CAMS system. Doc, a CAMS

    is a “Central Answering Machine System “. Anyway, on my way back I did

    not notice the protruding wire from the satellite dish. I had on many

    occasions told MultiChoice to send in a qualified techni…

    Doctor : …is that where you tripped?

    Oludhe : No, as I was avoiding the wire, I tripped on the Multichoice

    250 channel decoder and fell on the 200 year old classical family

    piano……….

    Doctor : Thank you. Such an expensive trip will cost you only 850.

    Oludhe: hands over the money excitedly…)

    Doctor : Not Kenya shillings, Dollars!

    Oludhe : Aii….yawa…..then I shall write you a cheque drawn from my

    overseas account with Fast Boston Bank Massachussets….you can not go

    wrong on that one omera

    NB; Being Dholuo is no longer a lifestyle it’s a Res-pon-sibility

  • He he he…Njoroge the Genius

    One evening Njoroge was playing poker at his friend’s house when he dropped a card on the floor. When he bent down to pick it up, he looked across the table and noticed his friend’s wife had her legs open and had no panties on. Embarrassed, Njoroge went to the kitchen to get some water. To his surprise, his friend’s wife followed him. “Did you like what you saw?” she asked.

    “Yes, actually, I did,” he replied.
    “Well, you can get some of that for Ksh 50, 000,” the woman said.
    Njoroge said he was interested, and his friend’s wife told him to come back the next afternoon because her husband would be at work.

    Later that evening the man’s friend arrived home from work and asked his wife if Njoroge had come by.

    “Why, yes he did come over,” she replied nervously.
    “Why do you ask?”

    “Oh good,” her husband said. “He came by my job this morning and asked me if he could borrow Ksh 50,000 until this evening, and he said he would leave the money with you.”

  • It all stems from Kikuyus adaptability, hard work and success. I will give an example.

    If a Kikuyu, Luo, Kalenjin and Luhya were all to be employed on the same day at the same
    … organization E.G. Kenya Ports Authority, Mombasa and you visited them after 10 years, this is what you would find:

    KIKUYU
    -Living in his own house in Mombasa; family living in Mombasa; happily settled at coast
    -Has rental houses, matatu in Mombasa
    -Owns a small car 1300cc EFI
    -Meets a friend at a local cheap bar for nyama choma and one or two beers discussing business

    JALUO
    -Living in big expensive rented house.
    -Has a big car 4000cc petrol
    -Family living in Mombasa
    -No investments; Thinks of investing back home but fears being bewitched
    -Leader of KPA trade Union;
    Always complaining, agitating for fairness/equitable distribution of resources
    -Meets ten friends in a pub with loud music each person has six beers waiting to be drunk and politicking.

    KALENJIN
    -Family living in Kericho while he works in Mombasa; wishes there was a Port in Kericho so that he could be nearer home
    -Has small car 1300cc which is in Kericho
    -Has bought small farm in Kericho
    -Believes Kikuyus are thieves; wishes they would be evicted from Rift Valley.
    -Drinks beer/choma alone or with fellow clansmen and usually less discussions

    LUHYA
    -Has 2 wives; one in Bungoma, other in Mombasa
    -Hopes to get a Luhya MD to give him promotion to ease burden of 2 families
    -No investments. Beer/Choma, Lingala music and a sweet sixteen girl are favorite.
    -Amazed by Kikuyus success

    DIGO (Coastals/Locals)
    -No investments. Very superstitious and heavy drinkers of Mnazi Wine.
    -They seldom Invest in their childrens education.
    -Wants all upcountry people (Foreigners) to move out coz the Port/Institution is theirs.

  • Dr Omollo, It helps to think simple at times

    Mr. Kikuyu and Dr. Omollo go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall asleep. Some hours later, the Kikuyu wakes his faithful friend.

    “Dr. Omollo, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.” Dr. Omollo replies, “I see millions of stars.”

    “What does that tell you?” Mr. Kikuyu asked?

    Dr. Omollo ponders for a minute.
    “Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
    Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three.
    Theologically, it’s evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.
    Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.

    Or What does it tell you, Mr. Kikuyu?”

    The Kikuyu is silent for a moment, then speaks.
    “Dr. Omollo, you kubafu, foko jebe, brari uji baridi! It means someone has stolen our tent!!!!.”

    ..

  • OO, I give up. I actually live in the West Indies, and after lunch this afternoon, I came home and checked on a local website (nevispages.com) and I saw this joke:

    Two Men Up A Mountain
    by Comic Corner, Wednesday, June 20, 2012, 11:04 (3 hours, 23 minutes ago)
    Omni and Swiff are camping up a mountain, where they
    set up their tent, and are asleep.
    Some hours later, the Omni wakes his faithful friend.
    “Swiff, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”
    Swiff replies, “Me see millions of stars.”
    “What does that tell you?” asked the Omni.
    Swiff ponders for a minute:
    “Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.
    Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three.
    Theologically, it’s evident the Lord is all powerful and we are small and insignificant.
    Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
    “What it tell you, Omni?”
    Omni is silent for a moment, then he speaks:
    “Swiff, you Dummy, someone has stolen our tent.”

    Then I move over to your website and I see that above joke! Are people miles apart thinking alike? Leave the Luos alone. They are Kenyans, and better Kenyans at that.

    KSB: Call it Global Village…

  • Top 10 Words Kikuyus Can’t Pronounce…

    Wheelbarrow – Hurubaro

    Diesel – dithoro….

    Sunday School – Sade Skoo

    Avocado – Ovacado or Macodofia

    Cholmondeley – Koromondo…Shoromondo…Shomondree…AAAAGH, Kamundu kau!!!

    Ushindwe – Chidwo…..

    Pupils- pyupos

    Charles – sharothi….

    Jesse – jaythii….

    Josiah – Jothia….

    Deogratius- Ndiongithio

    Thamweli – samuel

    Grace – Girathiii…

    Coolio – Kuria…

    Eminem – Munene

    Touch Me Lord – Tash Me Rod…

    Utawekelewa – utaekerewo

    In a school context – Agriculture – ngirigasha…

    Parallelogram – parrrrrrgram….

    Peripheral – ferferi…

    Twelve- Twero

    Minerals – minroz

    Dyslexia – kerea….

    Scotland – Thogoto…

    Pumbavu – Kubafu

    Cukuru – school

    Mainafu – pineapples

    Walikuja wakishikilia bunduki – Marikuja makishikiria bonoko

    As an added bonus…

    Sentences you will never hear a Kikuyu pronounce…

    · Keep Change
    · Nimekusamehea hiyo deni
    · Kaa na pesa yangu
    · Sitanunua Toyota
    · Sipendi probox!

  • 9 words women use

    1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

    2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
    3. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

    4. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!

    5. Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting h er time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

    6. That’s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

    7. Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you’re welcome.

    8. Whatever: Is a women’s way of saying GO AWAY!

    9. Don’t worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking “What’s wrong?” For the woman’s response refer to #3.

    *Share this with the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology.
    *Share this with all the women you know to give them a good laugh, cause they know it’s true.

  • AMINA: omondi u r cheating on me

    OMONDI: Y R u subjecting the whereabouts of my seminal fluid to doubt. i already affirmed that my penile movement is orchastrated only by ur genitals sweety. i am not mating with other bearers of the vaginal track

    AMINA: i found a panty(thong) in ur coat & its not mine

    OMONDI: i purchased that fabric for u sweety. u see it has a very negligable surface area thereby… limiting the coverage scope. infact it barely encroaches onto the posterior. so when u mount it onto ur pelvic area, it awakens my testorene levels to enjoyable capacities that the normal panty couldnt ignite.

    AMINA: thats so sweet of u

    OMONDI: I agree sweetheart i am very severe wen it comes to copulation. now come and exchange your oral mucosa with me

  • Omera Love Letter

    To my dearest, sweetest, fondest, fantastic, extra-ordinary, paragon of beauty a.k.a Lizzie.

    I hope this missive meets you in a fabulous state of metabolism, if so doxology. My principal aim of writing this letter to you is to gravitate your mind towards a matter of global and universal importance to my ego which has been troubling my soul. The matter is so important that even as I am writing my adrenalin is rocking 100 on the Reitcher scale, my temperature is rising, the wind vane of my mind is pointing North, South and East at the same time while the convex mirror in my eyes has only your divine image at it’s focal point. Indeed when I sleep you are the one in my medulla oblongata and I dream about you.

    I went out to sea in my dream and I saw you; surrounded by H20 and you, your majesty rose from the abdomen of the sea like Yemoja, the avatar of beauty. Oh, Lord be with us! We are thy servants! As you can see, I am in a serious dilemma and I want you to take my matter seriously. At this junction what our Lord said on this matter is germane. He says we should ask and we shall be given, we should seek and we will find, and that we should knock and it will be opened unto us. I am- on this 18th day of the eleventh month in the year of our Lord, two thousand and seven- asking, seeking and knocking at your door.

    I want to wake up in the morning and see only your face. I want you to be the only sugar in my tea, the only fly in my ointment, the butter on my bread, the gray matter of my system, the oxygen in my lungs, the planet of my universe, the wall clock of my room and the conveyor belt of my soul. I pray that you realize the gargantuan nature of my predicament. If you refuse, my life will be like tea without sugar, like a snail without shell, an Xmas goat without a horn; in fact I’ll become an orphan.

    What is life if I can’t wake up in the morning and behold your face? You model of pulchritude, patiently created by God on a Sunday morning before he went on a deserved holiday. Please Lizzie, let me be your Romeo. Make me your Adam oh my Eve, for you were made for me. Shakespeare said it all: If music be the food of love, play on. I want to emphasize, universally and responsibly, that you are love itself. You are the metaphor, oxymoron, thesis, antithesis, irony, gerund, conjunction and the adverb of love.

    Let me also say that the geography of your body is a permanent alleluia. Your body exudes not ammonia, urea and iodine – You are too beautiful for that! What I see in your body is milk and honey. At this juncture brevity is the soul of wit. A stitch in time saves nine.Procrastination is the thief of time. An opportunity once lost can never be regained. Make hay while the sun shines. All that glitters is not gold. The journey of a thousand miles begins but with a single step.What God has put together let no man put asunder. To be a man is Not an easy task even if God’s time is the best. But time waits for no man.

    A man without love is like a fish out of water. I know you are a sagacious girl. If you like the veracity of what I am saying, please fill the attached form and let me have it pronto. The mark at the bottom of this page is a kiss from me to you.I remain, Your beloved, faithful, loyal, One and only admirer.

    Extractineous Hanington Bannington Charlie Omolo mac’Ojuang’

  • Elijah otieno

    Reblogged this on Brain power.

  • Kenya’s tribal ‘O’ factor: Obama, Ocampo, Odinga
    by theGrio | April 15, 2011 at 12:10 PM
    NAIROBI, Kenya (AP) — What do President Barack Obama, International Criminal Court Prosecutor Luis Moreno-Ocampo and Kenyan Prime Minister Raila Odinga have in common?

    It’s the “O’’ factor. Obama, Ocampo, Odinga — they all share the distinctive first letter of members of the Luo tribe in Kenya, and some in this East African nation believe that the three are brothers in a conspiracy to see six suspects convicted at Ocampo’s Hague-based court so that Odinga can become president in the land where Obama’s father was born.

    Though the conspiracy is fanciful, it has traction among those who believe the ICC suspects, who are charged with orchestrating Kenya’s 2007-08 postelection violence, are being unfairly prosecuted. Analysts warn that if such stereotypes are allowed to gain momentum, the chances of tribe-on-tribe violence rises.

    Many supporters of Deputy Prime Minister Uhuru Kenyatta and former Education Minister William Ruto, two of the ICC suspects, believe the rumor.

    “Obama’s father was a Luo and he (President Obama) wants his fellow tribesman Odinga to become president, so he has bribed Ocampo to prosecute Kenyatta so that Odinga can lead,” Susan Njoki, a 45-year-old food seller, told The Associated Press during a rally convened on Monday by Kenya and Ruto. Njoki also spoke at the rally that the two men held after returning from a preliminary hearing at The Hague.

    Even some of the more educated believe it.

    “There is a relationship between Obama, Odinga and Ocampo. Obama wants to install Odinga next year so that America can get business opportunities they lost to China, Malaysia and countries of the Far East,” said Njuguna Ndungu, 36, a high school teacher. “The Americans don’t want a leader who is independent. The leaders who have gone to The Hague are independent-minded.”

    Observers warn that the “O’’ conspiracy is an example of tribal stereotypes propagated by Kenyan politicians trying to gain support from members of their tribe against opponents ahead of 2012 elections. If left unchecked, such stereotypes could lead to a repeat of the postelection violence, which killed more than 1,000 people.

    On their return from The Hague, Kenyatta’s and Ruto’s convoy was stoned. Odinga supporters were blamed for doing the stoning.

    Harun Ndubi, a human rights lawyer, said the alleged conspiracy is a “scheme” to affect the upcoming election.

    John Githongo, a former adviser to President Mwai Kibaki on ethics and governance, said that in the 2007 elections politicians used stereotypes to whip up hatred against Kenyatta’s Kikuyu community, and now it is being done against Odinga and his Luo community. Though Odinga and Obama’s father are both Luo, Ocampo is Argentinian — not Luo.

    Kenya has long been divided along tribal lines. Tribal associations influence such life choices as friends, spouses, employment and who to vote for.

    A recent survey by a government commission mandated to unify Kenyans found that two of Kenya’s 42 tribes held 40 percent of government jobs.

    In late 2007 Kenya was plunged into violence shortly after Kibaki was declared the winner of an election that Odinga supporters said was rigged. At least 600,000 people were forced from their homes. Former U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan negotiated a peace deal where Kibaki was named president and Odinga prime minister.

    Kenyatta and Ruto, once political enemies, are hinting at forming a political alliance with Vice President Kalonzo Musyoka against Odinga. Ruto fell out with Odinga after the prime minister supported bringing those responsible for the postelection violence to justice.

    Opinion polls in Kenya have shown Odinga as the most popular presidential candidate with Kenyatta a distant second, Musyoka third and Ruto fourth.

    At rallies before last week’s court hearing at The Hague, Ruto and Kenyatta attacked Odinga and painted the ICC as a tool of the West to control Kenya.

    “The case here is a political one to determine who will go into the statehouse,” Energy Minister Kiraitu Murungi said at a rally in Gatundu, a region full of Kenyatta supporters. “What is going on here is judicial neocolonialism.”

    In another rally in the outskirts of the capital, Ruto said the ICC trials are meant to give Odinga “a through-pass to the presidency.”

    Copyright 2011 The Associated Press.

  • Am proud to be a luo

  • Joseph odhiambo

    This is it just cool

  • Kimaka Odhiambo.

    It was the great luo warrior, Luanda Magere, who turned into a rock after his shadow was speared by a Kalenjin warrior during the Western wars. Gor Mahia was a power chief from Kisumu.

  • am not a luo but its exactly the plain truth n i concur wth every detail written on this page.

  • Raymond okendo

    It luanda magere who turned into stone not GOR MAHIA ,GOR died & was baried @ kanyamwa Homa bay county,his grave i there todate

  • Key Word STEREOTYPE people. – so n spirit of fun, try and remember.

    Am a luo and proud of it; because of my people and culture I was well educated , well adjusted and prepared for success in the global world. I love my people and like all others out there good and bad always come in hand.

    Labeling others is but mostly untrue you are fool to go off any generation unless talking of ONE individual. Please take me as an individual first , see me past ANY label (s). African, black, Kenyan, women, luo etc. We have a lot more in common in our human race than not. lets focus on those things we have in common.

  • Bobline O. Charles

    If you are a luo you must learn how to speak in English from this moment.That is why it is called Engluo

  • Luos dont like nonsense and dishonesty. They’re ruff n ready to act against any vice no matter what. You see thats why they love to hate luos. So they talk foolish lies about luos.

  • Pingback: Kenya: The perils of racial profiling | WardheerNews

  • Pingback: Kenya: The perils of racial profiling | somali ohio news

  • we shall see…..

  • Ok, we r jst v tas here in kenya, tutarudi israeli kwetu…

  • ndichu macharia

    thats very true of luos

  • LOL…AM PROUD OF BEING A LUO..

  • im 2 proud 2 b aluo….lol.

  • Pingback: The Burden of Being a Luo in Kenya | victoratela

  • Am proud of being luo

  • am waiting a luo pope 4 now

  • “Politically, a Luo will
    always face the
    accusation of “wanting
    to be in the opposition”.
    This accusation was
    born out of decades of
    political marginalization
    by the Kenyatta, the
    Moi and, now, the Kibaki
    government. With Luos
    playing no big role in
    government, they have
    always been forced into
    the opposition.”

    Tell us something about Jaramogi and the post he left vacant for Jomo.

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