Merry Christmas to all KSB Readers

As a young boy experiencing Christmas in Kenya, the occasion used to be long awaited and momentous. Days prior to Christmas, my dad would buy all family members special Christmas clothes. I come from a very religious family and our Christmas used to begin at midnight at St Stephen’s Cathedral in Kisumu city where “goodies treats” for kids was the norm as the adult members of the congregation were treated to Christmas carols by the choir clad in well-ironed uniforms.

The local Bishop would then hit the pulpit to deliver the Christmas sermon. Once the congregation was fed with the holy message from the scriptures, the next routine was the lining up (towards the pulpit) of initiates for the consumption of the holy communion. One day, I enquired from my initiated Aunt the concoction represented by the tiny white substance swallowed by the initiates and the chemical formula of the kanyawaji in the silver cup but the answer left me more perplexed than informed.

I was told that the kanywaji was actually the blood of Jesus drained from his veins by the Bishop and that the white substance swallowed by the initiates was actually the flesh of Jesus consumed live in church. Although I was informed that this meal was strictly symbolic, the “vampire image” of drinking of blood and allusions to cannibalism with the flesh of Jesus on the menu continued to embed critical questions in my mind as I matured to become a thinking human being. Later, when I conducted further enquiries with my late grandmother who ought to be in heaven now because of her high level of religiosity, she expounded that it is the blood of Jesus which washes the sins of the believers. She was so certain and encouraged me to go through the initiation when I grow up.

Once the Church session was over, we would return home to wait for the main Christmas to begin as the day opened up slowly. By then, the well decorated Christmas tree had been standing at the corner for almost a week. I used to wonder why it is the same cypress tree that used to be chosen for Christmas and why this tree was always decorated with white cotton among other decorations like balloons and blinking lights.

I could already understand that the stars represented the star which led the three wise men to where Jesus was born but what about the cypress tree and the white cotton? Interestingly, no one had answers to these questions. It is after I arrived in Sweden that a sense of dejau-vu began to creep into my understanding especially in relation to the cypress tree and the cotton thing. Here in the North-pole, Christmas comes in winter and when I looked around, it was very obvious that the only tree that remains green in the winter is the cypress tree, the leaves of other trees having withered, leaving lonely skeletons of trees standing alone everywhere you go.

When snow began to fall on the green cypress trees, the question about the cotton also began to fall into place. In fact, during Christmas, almost every cypress tree standing out there in Stockholm looks like a huge Christmas tree. Although this understanding eventually left me feeling liberated, I was disturbed that the Christmas tree and the cotton were actually meant to remind our white colonizers about the European winter and snow during their Christmas time in Kenya. This cultural relic was handed over to us without any explanation and our minders followed them without questions.

Back home, a key feature of Christmas was plenty of food where rice, chicken and chapo had to be part of the menu if the Christmas was to be complete. On the background were Christmas songs by Jim Reeves – Jingle bells, Mary’s little boy child, Blue Christmas, Oh come O ye faithful, an old Christmas card et al.

Back in Stockholm, Christmas is more about shopping than church-going. Although this is the day when believers are supposed to be remembering the death of Jesus Christ, believers and non believers alike flock Stockholm’s shopping malls to purchase presents to remember their friends and close family members. A close Swedish friend once confided in me that the ultimate Swedish nightmare is for Christmas to creep around without a Swede being able to buy presents to close relatives and friends.

The overlapping story has it that a Swede with a “diminishing wallet content” might even contemplate suicide at the prospect of being unable to reciprocate after receiving Christmas presents from close acquaintances.

Kenya-Stockholmers, Christmas and Birthday presents
If you are Kenyan and you discover that dishing presents is not your favorite activity during Christmas, take heart because you are the typical Kenyan. A quick KSB survey conducted last week revealed that only one out of 20 Kenya-Stockholmers will give presents this year to Kenyans they regard as “close friends”.

For Kenyans who are in relationships with Swedes, there is no choice. You will have to give a present and the more intimate the receiver, the more expensive the present so you ought to have been planning your accounts meticulously. If you are in a romantic relationship with a Swede, it depends on how long the relationship has lasted and how many Christmases you have celebrated together but the bottom line is that if you are new, a lot of judgment may be placed on your personality depending on what you give for a present. I was told that the secret is to study your benefactor to establish what he/she misses, something the benefactor needs badly without even knowing it. If you get it right, you hit the jackpot!

For example, if your spouse already has an Iphone, don’t buy another Samsung because that will send the message that you don’t actually think properly. However, if the Iphone does not have a protective cover, you can include it as part of the main present but don’t package it as the main present because an Iphone cover is just too cheap for a present targeted at someone you care about so be warned! A very expensive set of ear-phones for the iphone could be better.

For Swedes with Kenyan friends who do not receive any present from their Kenyan pals, just take it easy. There is no malice because giving Christmas presents is not strictly a Kenyan culture and if the economy is bad, just forget about it. If you don’t get a present, relax because the Kenyan will never even talk about the fact that he/she never gave you a present. There will be no apologies either because a Kenyan does not think that not giving a present during Christmas is a mistake or a sign that the friendship is not good enough.

This does not mean that Kenya-Stockholmers do not give presents. In order to try and fit into the Swedish system, they do it in their own small way. The difference is that the relationships are not affected even if no presents are given. In fact, for many Kenyans, even sending Christmas greetings is a question of whether the Kenyan can remember to do so. If you are Swedish and you don’t get any Christmas greetings from your Kenyan pal, do not hate him/her. A Kenyan may have you as a spouse but it is very natural for him/her to forget your birthday and the same case applies to Christmas presents.

The situation is not so good but you have to live with it. Some Kenyans even forget their own birthdays and if they do remember them, they don’t celebrate and this is acceptable. In fact, very few Kenyans usually remind friends that it’s their birthday unless they suddenly see it pop up on Facebook, time when they can throw in a “Happy birthday” and that is where it ends. They don’t even expect that you will call a bash and invite them while they also don’t care what happens after they send a FB “Happy birthday” message. Luckily, FB has made things easier because a Kenyan can claim that he sent you best wishes during your birthday, something that he/she never used to do until FB was invented.

The reason is that birthdays are considered more exciting for little children still growing up. Adult Kenyans (beyond 35 years) do not want to be reminded every year that they are growing old because they know they are. However, it is normal for a Kenyan to throw a birthday Party at say 40, 45, 50, 55, 60 etc because these are considered “special birthdays”. In other words, it is not totally unacceptable to throw a birthday party but it can be surprising if you are a Kenya-Stockholmer over 35 and you are throwing big birthday parties every year.

If you do so, Kenyans will begin to talk about it and wonder what may be wrong with you.
Pathetic as it may sound, I have many Kenyan friends but I have never attended a single birthday party of some of my best friends since I came to Stockholm. This is normal. At Christmas, it is the birthday of Jesus Christ which is supposed to be celebrated and for all those who were born on the 25th December, we say happy birthday and congratulations for sharing a birthday with Jesus Christ. Talking about birthdays, Merry Christmas!

Okoth Osewe

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Makozewe

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A blog for News and Events happening around Kenyans in Stockholm.

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