Some Kenyans have been wondering how the Kenya-Stockholm Football Team thwacked the Guineans to enter the finals of the Africa Challenge League. The Kenyans sailed through with a 4-3 win following a penalty shoot-out which sent the Guineans packing.
Just before the penalty kicks, there was a huge problem in the field because the referee had refused to allow for “extra time” which is normally mandatory in situations where the semi-finalists have tied during normal play time. In the case of the Kenyans, it was 0-0 margin by the time the game ended and this meant that the match had to proceed to a 30 minute extra time split into 15 minute intervals.
Surprisingly, the Ref went against all expectations when the game ended and declared that the match would go directly into penalties. You should have been there to witness how the Kenyans reacted because it was total chaos in the field. The main problem was not even the players. It was the large number of supporters who had turned up to cheer the team led by Man Nzoro waving the Kenyan flag. For a moment, there was serious tension because the Kenyan supporters were claiming that they had been short-changed because if there was no penalty shoot-out, then the whole management may have entered into a sophisticated conspiracy to defraud the Kenyans of clear victory. Why?
The main problem was that according to the Kenyans, the Guineans were very exhausted after the official time and the Kenyan team believed that since the Guineans were already wasted (as opposed to the Kenyans who were still going strong as if the match had just began), defeating them was just a matter of allowing extra time to proceed. If the Ref could allow for a 30 minute extra time, the Kenyans saw themselves into the finals juu the Guineans walikuwa wame kwisha kabisa.
According to the Guineans (who were not so enthusiastic with the extra time idea) their team was composed of wazee wa kazi while they also argued that unlike the Kenyans, they were only eleven players without a single substitute. The gist of their protestations was that the Kenyans had a limitless number of players to substitute (and they were doing so) while the Guineans had none.
The Wazee wa kazi argument did not sell well among the Kenyans who argued that when the Guinean team entered into the tournament, they should have known and understood that they were entering into a competition so they could have practiced even if the team was composed of people who had seen many Januaries. Somehow, the argument by the Kenyans made a lot of sense.
On the issue of the Guineans not having substitutes, the Kenyans countered that the Guineans could have understood that they were faced with a semi-final which would proceed to penalties in the event of a tie. According to the Kenyans, the Guineans could have come prepared and that the Ref could not use that kind of argument to block the game from going into extra time. While the Guineans had no substitute, the Kenyans had come with eleven extra players ready to get in just in case.
Another issue was that during the game, the Ref was mainly communicating with the Guineans in French, a language which the Kenyans did not understand. During each and every communication in French between the Ref and the Guineans, the Kenyans smelt a rat. Although they tried to protest that the Ref should not communicate to the Guineans in a language they did not understand, the Ref simply turned a deaf ear.
Finals Will be a “Make or Break” for the Kenyan Team
When it emerged that there would be no extra time when the Kenyans had included extra time as part of strategy, the Kenyans immediately cried foul. They accused the Ref of discrimination and pointed to the Ref’s West African roots to argue that the intention of wiping out extra time from the game amounted to a conspiracy of the highest order.
In short, there was no shortage of accusations and when the Ref eventually gathered the seriousness of the situation, he began to think twice. All Kenyan supporters were on his neck with the Kenyan flag flying high in the air as other supporters shouted “Never… on my dead body”, “Referee ashindwe”, “Haiwezekani”. Others proposed that the Ref be arrested to face justice. Another Kenya football hooligan was blocked from a distance to prevent him from strangulating the Ref allegedly because he was part of a clear conspiracy to sabotage the Kenyans in the tournament.
As the situation grew from bad to worse, with Kenyan supporters calling other colleagues to come to the field “as soon as possible” to help because the Kenyans were being denied victory, some Guinean supporters became worried because the prospect of calling police to intervene began to take shape. By then, some “Kenya Football fundamentalists” had already armed themselves with freshly broken tree branches which they waved in the air and declared that there would be total war if there was no extra time. Peaceful Kenyans who were part of the supporters began to think about the post-election violence following the rigging of elections in 2007.
It is at this point that the Ref realized the seriousness of the situation. After evaluating what was possible, the Ref decided that there would be a 10 minute extra time and although the Kenyans were not happy, the supporters decided that it was better than nothing. They thought that what they needed was extra screaming from the touch lines after which a goal would materialize. The Ref therefore awarded a ten minute extra time but unfortunately, no goal was scored.
Kenyans then regrouped to think a new strategy. As the game proceeded, some Kenyans formed an “Intelligence Team” to study how tired the Guineans were. After the ten minutes extra-time, the intelligence team reported that the Guineans were so exhausted that they could not even survive a penalty shoot-out. It was at this point that the Kenyan supporters were tuned by the Intelligence team not to push for further extra time but to go for the penalty kick-outs. They were right because when push came to shove, they beat the Guineans with a 4-3 margin before heading directly to little Nairobi to celebrate because the team had entered the finals.
Now, KISS agents are reporting that the finals will turn out to be a “make or break” affair. The Kenyans are mobilizing support for the team using all tactics available. The finals will take place at Mälahojdens IP in Fruängen from 16.30 hrs. There will be a huge Nyama Choma bonanza that will begin at 13.00 hrs and, according to Man Nzoro who is the ring leader of the supporters, the Nyama choma will be a prelude to the main game.
A disco set has been fixed to go full blast at the field while plans to wire in mandazis and samosas are also underway. The risk is that the field might be colonized by the Kenyans in case the Tanzanian fans do not understand the seriousness of the situation and fail to turn up to match the Kenyans. To underline the importance of the game, there will be a fund raising for the Kenyan team right there on the field. So far, Man Nzoro has contributed 500kr while millionaire Barbz has chipped in with 5000kr. Barbz told KSB that she believes that it is her responsibility to support the team as a Kenyan and as a lover of sports.
Mr. Makan Macharia, the captain of the team, has appealed to Kenyans to turn up in large numbers to support the team. In case the team wins the trophy, there are chances that the team might meet President Kibaki or Prime Minister Raila Odinga to officially hand over the trophy to the Nation.
A contact at State House in Nairobi told KSB that if the team wins the tournament, it is possible that Kibaki will be interested in receiving the team because he likes sports. Kibaki is a known golfer. KSB joins other Kenyans who think that the Kenya-Stockholm community should turn up this Sato to support the team. After the Nyam chom at the field, supporters will proceed to Little Nairobi to reflect on the outcome so don’t miss.
Okoth Osewe
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Aibu tupu. Can’t we act civilised for once instead of confirming the stereotypes people have of africans as unruly and can’y control our emotions?
today we need alot of kipepeo types to distruct the TZ.
I heard they will line up their beauties too….
Goodluck Kenya-Team. U hve made us proud!