Extreme Cold Wheather “Responsible for Increased Bedroom Activity”
According to a KSB survey, Kenya-Stockholm’s “baby production” appears to have broken the record with at least sixteen new babies expected this year. Out of this number, nine have already been born while seven others are waiting to see day light before the end of the year.
KSB agents active in Facebook have reported a constant stream of Kenyans announcing the births of their babies while an eye scan of tummies at public functions has indicated an increasing number of Kenyan ladies whose tummies have increased in size, suggesting some “baby-work” is in progress. In one interesting case, a proud Kenyan lady publicized her growing tummy on Facebook to announce to the world that she was expecting. KSB can only congratulate her and wish her a safe delivery.
Apart from the nine babies who have been born (four boys and five girls), three women at the 2010 Nyama Choma were clearly “heavy” with something below their tummies while at the Margaret wedding on 3rd July, at least one lady was identified as having been “filled up” completely. From the morphology of her tummy, she might download before the end of December and some male “veterans” openly congratulated the bull in charge and welcomed him to “The Club” because this was his “first goal” at the “Kenya-Stockholm Baby Challenge Cup”.
Another notable case is that at least one Kenyan male is “making a Swedish Obama” and his white Swedish wife was just too glad to call KSB for a photo opportunity with the swollen white tummy well in view. Speaking to KSB, she encouraged other fellow white Swedish girls to try Kenyan bulls “because they are sweet” and energetic. She added that “This is the perfect way to fight against racism and discrimination in Sweden because it is the real way to integrate”. The guy did not have anything to add.
Since the beginning of January, there have been at least five Caai wa Mwanas within the Kenya-Stockholm community to celebrate the arrival of a new one. The growing number of swollen tummies is very encouraging because of the need to ensure that the population of Kenya-Stockholm is not driven to extinction as a result of zero production of babies ocassioned by lack of organized matrimonial mhanyo.
No one wants to watch the National Geographic or Channel Discovery in some years to come only to learn that there used to be a community of Kenyans in Stockholm who used to organize Nyama Chomazz at Fittja Beach! They then used to Party at Sätra’s Red Line Disco while there used to be a blog site called KSB where they used to pick up information. In the year 2006, they had an Ambassador called Purity Muhindi whom they used to complain about because she never used to attend their functions. A guy called Okoth Osewe used to write storos at KSB and he used to have very good info contacts called “KISS agents”. One day, he wrote about a Kenyan lady called Barbz and said that she was a millionaire. People started saying that Barbz was not actually a millionaire because da…da…da…
In the same token, no one wants the community of Kenyans in Stockholm to be on UN’s list of “endangered species” and for this reason, the sons and daughters on the frontlines deserve sincere congratulations because after tongozaring themselves, it is them who sweat it out in the bedroom, working on each other deep into the night (sometimes in total darkness) when others are asleep to ensure that the Kenya-Stockholm animal survives during this age of natural selection which has it that “only the strong survives”.
Possible Explanation
The future is bright since the youth are constantly busy with kutongozana because it is during this process that mambo begins. Were it not for the hard working Kenyan couples, Kenya-Stockholm could not have had a vibrant Football team today that has now reached the finals in the African Challenge League which the Kenyans could easily lift on 31st July and this is something we ought to be proud of. It is the kids which were manufactured yesterday that have grown up to form the Football team so why not toss Champaign and say kudos to all our men who scored from in between and our women who carried the weight for nine months before download? If you are still in doubt, you need to come to the finals to see the result of “hard work!”.
The boom in babies is also encouraging to young couples who are planning to unite in marriage (aka the cage bin zero grazing) because the silent message (which can only be whispered in low tones) is that every swollen tummy you happen to see anywhere is the most clear evidence that active Mhanyo has been taking place officially. With the increasing number of kids, Kenyans should set up a “Kenya-Stockholm Children’s Day” to celebrate the good work our men and women in holy unity are doing to ensure that the future of Kenya-Stockholm is guaranteed.
A possible factor which could explain this biggest baby boom so far is that last winter appears to have been one of the coldest and severest in Sweden’s recent history, a development which could have contributed to the men being confined to their cribs with their women supplying an endless flow of food and other edibles as their men were unable to visit the Temple. Some “conscious ladies” increased the supply of njugus which increased nyeges and when it was time, they got “feed back”. Now, it’s a question of when the download will come because the guy has already been trapped.
He thought that njugus were for past-time as he watched football he he he… and now he is just beginning to budget for them daiperzz that will now eat into the Temple budget. Kindly (from the ladies), and FYI, the njugus were to get the equipment “up and running” throughout the night and now it’s time to wake up and smell the coffee! In other words, they are saying that it’s better to take responsibility (have something to do – aka changing daiperzz – and somewhere to spend your money) than spending the rest of your life at the Temple with your walevi converts. That’s life in Kenya-Stockholm!
The consequence of endless feeding is that with a growing amount of energy at their disposal, and with nowhere to go, the evenings became short as activity in the bed room also increased to record levels. Lights were going off early and when the summer showed up, many Kenyans reported to KSB during the survey that they had to change beds which were squeaking due to “overuse”.
Needless to say, it is known that hectic bedroom games under the cover of the sheets normally result in baby-making like outcomes and Kenya-Stockholm pundits like Mr. Laban have been quick to associate the spiraling rate of baby production to increased and lengthy hours of darkness during cold winter, time when couples move closer to try and warm themselves thereby creating several opportunities whose details cannot be described here.
Within the baby making system in Kenya-Stockholm, two babies have been classified as “Paper children” whose births may have happened “without plan” and in which the mothers are said to have played strategic games to gain status using their spouses as stepping stones. The good news is that the resulting kids in such relationships have created positive vibes because the kids have tended to unite the affected couples with at least one marriage having been reported.
KSB takes this opportunity to congratulate all Kenyan couples who have already downloaded and wish those who are “counting time” a safe download come D-day. We thank all Kenyans who have shared their photos at KSB and wish them the best of luck!
Okoth Osewe
About the Author
yes, a good story Osewe showing that our community is expanding. Long cold winters are good.Very hot summers kama hii are bad coz men lack energy.
STOP LISTENING TO GOSSIP THAT IS OUT OF ´VIVU´ THIS LADIES USED THEIR BRAINS TO GET THEIR PAPERS JUST AS SOME OF YOU GUYS USED YOUR BRAINS BY SITTING ON WHEELCHAIRS TO GET YOUR PAPERS .HA HA HA
KSB: Don’t write in upper case next time otherwise your comment will not be approved. According to netiquette, writing in upper case is like “screaming”.