If you are a Kenyan citizen, you are in an inter-racial relationship involving a white Swedish spouse and your affair is in crisis or has collapsed, take heart because that appears to be the trend within our tiny community. According to KSB’s “Inter-Racial Romantic Index” for 2009 which has just been released by a team of experts, Kenyans are finding it difficult to cope with white spouses, a trend that has seen relationships enter into “cyclical crisis” or led to collapse of long standing marriages with devastating emotional and economic consequences.
Since January last year, four inter-racial marriages in Kenya Stockholm have collapsed out of which two involved two Kenyan women and their Swedish hubbies while the other two involved two Kenyan men and their white Swedish wives. According to KSB’s index, three out of the collapsed marriages involved relationships where young children are involved.
According to the index, a Kenyan guy was involved in one collapsed relationship between a Kenyan woman and her white hubby while in another case, a Kenyan male abandoned the relationship because he could no longer cope with “difficult white conditions” imposed on the relationship by his former Swedish wife.
According to research, the guy began to increasingly find it difficult to cope with limitation of his freedom of movement, a ban on house visits by Kenyan friends, compulsory baby-sitting arrangements to prevent him from engaging in other activities while it is said that the guy was also bored with economic sanctions to an extent that he couldn’t send any cash back home to carter for school fees, medical services or even feed his parents.
In the first case where the split involved another Kenyan dude, it emerged that the bull has been servicing the Kenyan lady when the jungu hubby is away. It looked like the lady had become addicted to being worked up by the guy’s equipment because the clandestine relationship is said to have lasted for “A very long time”. It is said that the guy would pop up during day time when the Jungu is at work and the kids are at school or when the Jungu had gone on Safari.
Once the jungu was away for the night, the guy would arrive when the kids are asleep and leave during the wee hours of the morning before the kids rise up for breakfast. The chick would put the kids to sleep early to enable the dude to arrive early so that she could be done thoroughly. It is said that every minute was important. Although the guy has an apartment, the chick could not go there because she was in charge of the kids when the hubby was away so she had to make arrangements at her place.
The crisis is said to have reached a climax when one day, the Jungu pretended that he was going on Safari and later arrived in the dead of night by taxi then waited patiently because the bed room door was locked. A neighbor friend had tipped him that his Kenyan wifie appears to have been handling another equipment owned by a black man when he was away but there was no proof. He arranged with the neighbor to spy through the window as he pretended that he was on a three day trip to London. Once the scene was set and the neighbor was sure that the bull had arrived at the scene of action, he would call the jungu on his cell phone to take a taxi. The jungu applied total stealth as he sneaked into the flat and hid behind a sofa during the operation.
There was crisis when the Kenyan guy opened the bedroom door (while naked) on his way to download files in the toilet because he came head-on with the jungu on the corridor. Although there was no physical combat, the jungu had proved that the guy, whom he knew as a family friend, was the hustler who was consuming the goods when he was away. From then on, the jungu split up with the Kenyan wifie. Although she tried to shed crocodile tears, it did not help because the jungu had made up his mind.
The KSB index says that in yet another case, a Kenyan lady who split with her hubby accused him of being disinterested in her because he kept ignoring her when in the company of others. Some Kenya-Stockholm pundits who compiled the index say that it’s the jungu who dumped the chick because when the jungu married her, he thought he had hooked up the typical African chick who would be submissive and who enjoyed house-work.
Kenyan’s escape from deportation
The lady is reported to have confused the jungu into marriage by increasing the level of cleanliness in the house soon after their relationship began, doing the dishes loyally, cooking food (complete with ugali spicing), doing the laundry and treating the jungu like a King. It is said that she would insist that the jungu relax on the sofa as she brought warm water in a jar for the jungu to wash his hands before and after meals “the Kenyan way” and the jungu is reported to have been excited.
She is said to have made the jungu “Feel wanted” by tracking him down to find out when he was coming home, welcome him with a kiss on the door, help him remove his clothes, find out how the day was before inviting him to a sumptuous meal she had prepared for dinner. The jungu is reported to have liked every bit of it.
She would then get into her sexy night dress “to increase the jungu’s appetite” before opening the goods for consumption. It is said that the jungu had been single for a long time and when he bumped into the Kenyan chick, his world was transformed in ways he couldn’t describe. Once she bagged her papers, the chick began to change as piles of plates also began to show up in the sink.
She became more concerned with her make up as the house began to degenerate into untidiness. When the matter came up, the chick is said to have began taking the line that the jungu should also be helping with house work because they were “living in Sweden” where men are equal to women.
As the crisis deepened, the jungu started coming home late, prompting the chick to retaliate by also coming home well past midnight. As the crisis worsened, the prospect of splitting up began to take shape in their minds and eventually the couple called it a day and went separate ways.
In another case, a Kenyan who had been on a “Paper Mission” with a jungu lady split up when his wife was six months pregnant. The crisis, which was highlighted at KSB, almost led to the guy’s deportation to Kenya but he was saved by the Swedish Immigration Department which ruled that the guy could stay because his ex Swedish wife was expecting a baby. According to the court, the guy needed to be allowed to stay so that he could take responsibility for his unborn child.
The law was also on his side because in Sweden, all children have a right of access to the father regardless of the circumstances. In allowing him to stay, the Swedish authorities observed that even if he was deported “he would still be granted permission to live in Sweden by virtue of having fathered a child with a Swedish citizen”.
The relationship entered into difficulty when the Kenyan began to hanya a white lady friend of his wife after the wife entered into advanced stages of pregnancy. When the wife discovered the affair, she decided to split up, arguing that she can never share love under any circumstances. The lady later attacked the guy at KSB, saying that the Kenyan had played with her emotions.
Despite the difficulties within Kenyans and their Swedish spouses, there was good news last year because three Kenyans hooked up with jungus while at least one Kenyan wedded a cute jungu lady. Kenya-Stockholmers can only hope that new inter-racial relationships will crop up to compensate for the lost ones otherwise the situation appears to have been tough on the inter-racial romantic front.
Okoth Osewe
About the Author
Statistic according to Dr winnie achola(Msc. sociology and anthropology makerere univ.,Phd.oxford univ.)on inter-racial marriages or relationships, are usually based on(with reference to african women and men) :social and economical gains,cultural mystics,where one feels that in order to be accepted in a society he or she cross marries usually with white men…tendency inclines with the black women as opposed to the black men…where the men of colour..usually black men are allienated by their black women for not submitting when it comes to socio-economic equalities,thereby resulting more women(black)crossing over…… Dr Winnie finnaly summises by submitting that cross over or inter racial marriages are more often that not marriages of convinience , usually ending up in separations ,resulting to caursing permanent damage to their offsprings if any…..15% of inter-racial marriages hold…….a grim picture.thank you KSB for bringing this issue to light.
Kenyans behaving badly. What is so difficult about sticking to one spouse?
Ati the Kenyan woman is said “to have been handling another equipment owned by a black man when he was away but there was no proof”. Osewe una hadithi za ajabu kabisa. “The chick would put the kids to sleep early to enable the dude to arrive early so that she could be done thoroughly”.
more power to the young Kenyan serviceman. aendelee hivyo hivyo.
I think race should’nt be an issue here.
we live in a modern world!- Divorce rate in Kenya these days is quite high too, this could be as a result of Women waking up?- or men?
I’m hapilly married, and believe when I get tired I will leave!!- I’d rather remain single then stay in bad relationship, just because the Society puts it that way.
Kuddos to all the wonderful pple out there who have proudly walked out of bad relationships!!-regardless of the outcome.
I come from a broken Family, My parent’s having divorced when i was quite young( both Kenyans fr. same tribe). Believe me, after witnessing my father beat up my mum, and I blaming her for leaving and “bringing shame” to my family, I know respect her and love her dearly. She taught me to always dust my socks and Move on, and that’s exactly what I’d do, if my Marriage ever fails beyond reparation!!!!!!
So Mr. Osewe regrdless of if ur statement is true or false, I still do not believe that this is as a result of mixed race.
KSB: You may have missed my point. I did not say that divorce is wrong per se. I was simply reporting on findings within inter-racial relationships among Kenya-Stockholmers to give out the trend. I do support your view that people should not stay in boring relationships that are not working out esp if they cannot “patch up things”.
@ kenyan, I’m with you on this one.
Hata mimi mke wangu kanichokesha jameni- and she’s as black as she can ever get. when I get the strength- I will leave.
Naogopa tu maneo…jameni Wakenya watanisema wata ni tosha.
First, it’s common sense, second, it’s culture and third it’s love. But love is blind so open your eyes and ears and make love.
KSB: Marky, that was cute. Sasa? niaje ile deal yetu?
Osewe, osewe, osewe.. eti the guy was on his way to download files in the toilet! and he was naked! and why did the lady begin to handle “another equipment”? My hubby should know that if he is not servicing me well, i will soon go for another equipment… how did you get this funny? Thanks for entertaining me. You make me laugh kabisa.
Listen to this it doesnt matter if you r black or white,we live i society where we see things equally,and those who walked out of there marrieges with the wazungus have a story that if they tell you ,you may listen.But anyway i agree with osewe interacial marriages 85% break up and 10%remain in the marriage for the sake of the children and only 5% succede,but follow ur heart
One thing i don’t jazz, how could this Kenyan mamma, let the kenyan bull to go download staff nacked when there are kids in the crib? It’s better the hubby discovered the guy, imagine what trauma that could av caused the kids if one of them was to get upp to be faced with a naked black guy in da house.
Now that she is single again i hope she is really enjoying being done thoroughly; Probably not, it’s always sweeter when it’s being stolen.
Well,statistics also show that now in kenya the age group that is most affected with HIV and AIDS is Married Men and Women btw 35-45. Wonder why?
They live in bad relationships, and since the society expects them to stick to their marriages, they indulge in afairs out of their marriages.
I support divorce 100%, when things go bad!!
Interracial marriages tend to last longer among blacks married to Europeans despite issues in the marriage.The
Scandinavians also have a highrate of adoption of black babies,and despite the high divorce rate in Scandinavia,the families work hard to keep relationships
intact. Btw,the high divorce rate in Scandinavia is not because the family is in disarray but it can be viewed from the perspective that people who feel liberated to engage
in relationships are also free to disengage in relationships if they want to.
Fetishes and fantasies have a permanent hold on people. If a white female breaks up with a black male, the chances are that she will seek another black male for dating and relationships. If a white male divorces a woman of Asian descent, he will likely look for another Asian female partner. We can’t escape our fantasies and fetishes.
I am a white male who finds females of color more attractive and interesting than white females. I have fetishes going through my mind when I see a black woman, a Latina or an Asian woman. When I see a white woman, I feel nothing. White females are not as physically attractive to me. That’s the fantasy/fetish aspect taking over. It’s also a serious case of racial discrimination–even if it’s against my own race.
If the intentions at the heart of any relationship are flimsy, it just has a way of not working out. So when I see any successful relationship of any configuration, I figure the pair must really want to be there to make it work….
my father is east african and my mother is white and i know that part of the reason my father married my mother had nothing to do with love, it had to do with the greater “worth” he would have to the public and the greater “worth” his children would have. i realize now that this is why i have a negative reaction at times when i see black men with white women. it is a trait that i loathe about myself and have for the most part gotten over though. mainly because, where would i be without such unions??? the ironic part is that i have never put restrictions on race or ethnicity when it comes to who i date.
Unfortunately, society does not yet accept interracial relationships fully,and this is one of the major things that can affect a relationship. Although interracial couples face a multitude of obstacles, their love for one another will help them survive condemnation by some members of society.
No one can really say that an interracial marriage is any worse than a regular marriage. This is a marriage like any other – which requires a lot of love and toil to make it work. Whatever the differences, it all depends upon the approach to make it or break it.
Very often big differences such as religion, culture, and ethnic background pale into comparison to the smaller day-to-day differences that the new couple has to negotiate. The success of marriage depends upon how they resolve these seemingly small problems more than those larger than life differences.
From the experience of Kenyan-Stockholm men, many interracial relationships end after the african men have fathered children with the white women, and help with childcare for roughly 4-5 years. Afterwards the swedish women ask for divorce or breakup.These men lament that the sole aim of the white women is normally to get mixed-race kids whom they see as exotic.The african man is only used to donate sperms, then gets kicked out of the matrimonial home.
records show that in the past decades most Kenya-stockholm interracial relationships have added children,yet the parents have had to part ways for various reasons.Many of these children deal with the bitter racial differences they face at school and later when employed.As adults, these ‘point-fives’ marry whites so as to let their children off the mental trauma of looking different physically in sweden.Meanwhile,some Kenyan women are known to talk so badly about African men, yet they are inferior in their interracial relationships,and are used as slaves but hang in there to keep the image of married women.
I need to say, whoever is in union with a kenyan man is really unique. There is nothing more nausiating than a kenyan man. They drink too much, flirt with everybody and tend to be worthless fathers. You with black men -I feel sorry for you.
Someone once commented that only the likes of Kofi Annan can cope in a mixed marriage. Maybe top diplomatic skills is a prerequisite, a good dose of patience and tolerance.
Someone else suspects that people say/think when they see mixed couples:- “that one was imported 4 special services from the dark continent”. having said that, happiness is key no matter where you find it.
The racial and cultural differences in your interracial marriage won’t necessarily cause your relationship to fail. What can cause an interracial marriage to fall apart is the inability of a couple to handle their differences and a failure to talk about stress and prejudice created by others.
Thanks for this thread Osewe. I read your blog a lot but have been drawn to comment for the first time because this topic has touched me profoundly.
I know for sure is that more black women, especially Africans, would quickly settle with a less successful, uneducated white male than the same for a black man. Why? I ask that all the time.
The other thing that I find very baffling, is the ratio of blacks, male or female being in relationps with whites suffering from psychological issues; often, the issues are misinterpreted with being in love. Most of the times, it’s emotional dependency, chemical dependency or some sort of addiction that would quickly be recognized by someone in the same circle or upbringing.
We as blacks, especially Africans, don’t discuss or have much knowledge about mental illnesses. Further, we don’t take the time knowing about our white partners family backgrouds as we do our own (Africans). These relationships are often entered with higher energies; everyone is fascinated about the other.
I think people are also trying to impress a little more than we do with someone from the same race. A lot of things are usually hidden for longer periods, because, one wouldn’t know how to catch lies easily in another culture.
My comments are based on 15 interracial relationships observed in the last ten years, including my own.
Apart from kids born as an outcome of interracial relationships, the truth is that many of these unions head nowhere. Ask any old Kenya-Stockholmer and you will realize that none has lasted.
I totally agree with Bizarre’s comment except that I dont feel sorry for them wt whores – it sickens me.
Every stupid white trash skank whore could move to Africa and stay there, don’t be a part of the problem spreading deseases.
It will only cost swedish taxpayers a lot of money that could’ve been spent on important matters. Most of them coons are contaminated with HIV and envolved in drug related crimes – especially them coons from Gambia.
Imagine if a swedish man would’ve behaved like any coon – cheating,drinking,dealing drugs,spreading deseases and beat up their white trash whore if she ever confront him with this, then he would be a pig of astronomical proportions.
But if a coon does the same thing then they pitty the bastard – WTF is that ??
thanks mc osewe for this story but whats so bad is that the black guys are behaving badly..infact in both scenarios i blame both the black dude and the black chicks,the jungus appear to be very honest indeed and its sad that our brothers and sisters were not honest with themselves…love is somthing very special..to me the way the rule says of equality only improves the quality of love amongst couples..surely one should speak straight and not lie about his intentions..i wonder why some guys and chics take marriage to be casual ….thats criminal before god…for me am single and i believe one day i will marry a white lady not because of infatuation or wealth but because they can devote to total faithfulness..i love swedish style of living,some of our brothers n sisters are really spoiling our reputation abroad!
There is Out-Of -bound- Areas where Coons (Neggas) should not be allowed to marry with white Piglets.Any White Jungu marrying a Kunk Noocs must be schizophrenic goghi and has to blame herself.
KSB: Svensson, r u sure u r not being racist?
http://www.nation.co.ke/News/-/1056/1289488/-/10cr2dtz/-/index.html>Lets make Love and not wars to hell with Racists>http://www.nation.co.ke/News/-/1056/1289488/-/10cr2dtz/-/index.html
And when the African father dies (especially if he’d been divorced from the Swedish mother of his kids), the point-5 kids are normally not involved in the funeral.