The Fear of Calling Home Without Money
30th Oct marked an exceptional event for many slums women. This is the day they voice their unheard predicaments. Converged at an open field in Kibera, women from various slums represented their fellow women in large numbers. This forum is an initiative of a humble 25 year-old woman – Jane Anyango Agar, who is so dedicated in creating space for the slum woman in society.
Jane, like many slum women, left the village to look for greener pastures. Her first landing was at her auntie’s place in Kibera. This is not the city she had heard so much about. There was no electricity, no toilets, no water and no food. “I slept stomach-empty most of the time. The nights were cold and days started unpromisingly. Each day passed with a drop of my hope to excel in life. I felt wretched.” She recounted poignantly.
Jane says village life was far much better. But she couldn’t dare return empty handed. “When you board a dream bus to the city, the aim is to make money and a lot of it in the shortest time possible and assist those you left behind”, says Jane, amidst chuckles.
There is a lot of expectation from society too. That’s why most people prefer to suffer in silence and disconnect communication from their close families. “I didn’t communicate with my parents for nearly 3 years and the thought of calling just to say hello sickened me. I knew their first request would be money which had proved to be chicken milk to me.” She reveals.
City life exposed Jane to more pain as she shared a one – roomed mabati house with her aunt, uncle and four of her cousins. They were lucky to have an extra small cube-like kitchen. “Privacy in our house was costly; we had to stay out for hours to give auntie time with uncle”, Reveals Jane.
“Weekends were worse” she adds “I loathed the thought of it. Both auntie and uncle weren’t working. After church on Saturday, they spent the whole day resting. Then, we joined other children in a play ground. Some played, some acted while others just sat and watched. I opted to form a group of girls of my age to share and sort out our issues. Through this, I realized we had a lot in common. I loathed not weekends any more. I looked forward to our “Kamukunji” days with enthusiasm and anticipation”
Their long whining hours and days of apprehension produced new vigor and anticipation. “We realized that no one apart from ourselves will come from the so called class environs to better our life”, says Jane.
To succeed in life, they had to change their attitude and way of thinking. She says the greatest mistake they made was to accept what others thought about them – that a slum woman is illiterate and idle, indolent and messy. “Most people treat slum women with contempt and believe that they are top pick pocketers thus treat them with the same attitude’’ laments Jane.
“Supermarket IDPs”
Jane, together with her friends, came out in 2004, strong and willing to speak out for the slum woman. They formed POLYCOM development project. The effort and strong will to change slum women would be fruitless without converting other slum women to join the Forum. They moved from slum to slum advocating change of attitude.
This move gave all the slum dwellers a strong Forum through which they could speak with one voice to the effect that a slum woman should be empowered to cater for her own needs individually. All they want is information and inspiration.
The slum women of Kibera meet under a tree every Thursday. The Forum is attended by women from all ages, young and old. They share latest `wamama’ news, discuss women issues and invite Councilors and area leaders to give advice. They do not leave their daughters behind as they advocate for change. They have GIRLS SPEAK OUT FORUMS. This Forum has helped a lot of girls to say NO to negative things in their lives.
Kiamaiko slum has an interesting institution – Bunge la Wamama (Women’s Parliament). Theirs is a real bunge (Parliament), where they conduct all their activities and debates “bunge style”. Started a year ago by four women, the Women’s bunge has over one thousand members.
“Our vision is to have the biggest Movement ever in Kenya and thus talk with one voice”, says Mumbi, the group’s Co-coordinator. She adds, “Tumekanyangiwa siku mob sana, saa ni time yetu, tume elevuka, eti tu-me…” (We have been oppressed for a very long time and this time it’s our turn) as the rest shout in chorus “E-LE-VU-KA!” passionately.
When the chief guest stood to speak, she attacked fellow women because they urged their daughters to harden to harsh treatments from their husbands in the name of culture. In making her point, the guest mimicked the women thus: “Mwanangu, rudi, kwa bwana, mwanamke nikuvumilia, ata mimi nilipitia hayo hayo’’ (My child, return to your husband. A woman must be tolerant. I went through the same treatment).
Jane is such an amazing leader. She says that very few people who have interest in Kibera slums are genuine. Most have individual interests. “How many movies have been shot from Kibera?” She asked rhetorically. They follow us even to the IDP camps. A German crew invaded a camp near Eldoret, they were “kind” enough to camp and eat with them. To add to their generosity, they paid them to be filmed. Each kid was paid Ksh.2000 and adults Ksh.3000. But they never explained that they were filming to sell their pictures to the world. “As a result, the world laughs at us. Some even think this is Africa’s life style”, she says.
Silence Kills Family Members
Locals are not angels either. They get donations in the name of changing slums. They come and dish out 200 bob to women and steal the rest of the money. These handouts have changed women, men and children in the slums. It became very hard to call for “A pass information” Forum. In such cases, the first question is not an enquiry about the agenda but a loud question about the take. IDPs had also adapted this style to an extent of creating “supermarket IDPs”. These, she says, are on-and-off IDPs. They only rush to camp when they sight a lorry of goodies.
Jane says her message to fellow slum women and even men is for them to come out in large numbers and work hard in creating change. Sadly, she says, men and young boys are always used by politicians only when it suits them.
Because of commercialization of almost everything and fear that relatives are always after money, no one will ever feel comfortable phoning family members back home. “When I revealed the reason for my non-communication to my family, they were stunned. My silence killed them softly. They needed me, not my money. I felt guilty but that is history. I can only tell anyone who feels stuck to never shun parents.” she concluded her narration.
As she recounts this, my mind flashed three years back. I sat down with a dude who had come to Stockholm through Denmark. “This is not the ulaya (Europe) I thought and dreamt of. I have suffered a great deal. I just wish I can just gather enough guts to return home’’ he laments. By then, he was hosted by a fellow Kenyan whom, he claimed, was getting fatigued.
This is a dilemma faced by many city and Diaspora dwellers. Every one looks upon to them like a tree dripping with honey. This discourages many from calling home when they don’t have `M-PESA’ or `WESTERN UNION’ announcement.
Another dude jokingly said, sometime you call home and the second word from hello is a question. And the question, what is the pin number? Please give it to me before the line gets disconnected. As Jane says, never hesitate to let your folks know your real economic situation. Your silence might kill them.
Shiku Steve
About the Author
The story is such an eye opener to all of us who always think that life has everything in store for us. I thank God for Jane who has gone through it and is turning that her experience into good use. I wish we can have many women like Jane and help women become self reliant. Poverty would be the thing of the past!
Thank Shiku for highlighting this story since few people actually know about the slum women day.
Regards,
Consolata
Shiku,this similar to what we are doing this month. It great to see slum women together and organized to fight for their rights.
For all women out there as drom today Nov 25-Dec 10 we say
Commit ▪ Act ▪ Demand: We CAN End Violence Against Women!
Each year since 1991, tens of thousands of activists from every region of the world have taken part in the 16 Days of Activism Against Gender Violence Campaign. The campaign’s central messages – women’s rights are human rights and violence against women constitutes a violation of human rights – have been a rallying call of the women’s movement. Recognizing that violence against women affects people from every country, race, class, culture, and religion, the 16 Days Campaign provides an opportunity for activists to work together in solidarity and draw upon this period of heightened international attention to gain support for their local efforts.
Contact the Center for Women’s Global Leadership to receive a free copy of the Take Action Kit for the 16 Days Campaign. The action kit includes:
* a campaign profile and a description of dates
* a list of participating organizations and countries
* a bibliography and resource list
* a list of suggested activities
* a current campaign announcement
* supplemental information relevant to this year’s theme