Voice of Women (VOW), a Kenya-Swedish organization that fights for the rights of women, has condemned a Kenyan national who brutalized a Kenyan woman last week before police was called to intervene.
Speaking to KSB, Pastor Beatrice Kamau, the Chairperson of VOW, said that it was barbaric for the Kenyan to have attacked the woman, saying that such incidences of domestic violence should be condemned in the strongest term possible.
She said that if couples disagree or find it impossible to live together, they should call it a day by going separate ways instead of men resorting to violence to sort out domestic problems.
“This man who beat his woman has been a well respected person within the Kenyan community. By beating the woman, he has shown that he is nothing but irresponsible”, Pastor Beatrice told KSB.
She said that the incident is further evidence that women should organize themselves by joining organizations like Voice of Women to address thorny issues like domestic violence within the Kenya-Stockholm community.
She said that violence against women remains unacceptable especially in today’s world and appealed to men who still believe in wife beating to awaken to the realities of the day.
She gave the example of a Kenyan woman who was killed by her husband after she was beaten and warned that such murders could come back to haunt the Kenya-Stockholm society if incidences of domestic violence are not addressed adequately.
She also condemned an incident in which a woman was encouraged not to take a case of abuse to the Swedish authorities by friends.“Women should be encouraged to speak up when they are attacked”, she said.
The woman who was recently clobbered had apparently separated from her man and it is still not clear how they linked up before she was beaten.
Okoth Osewe
About the Author
Dear Kenyans, isn’t this wife-batterer just phony? I have heard on the Kenya-Stockholm grapevine that he is blogger who has been playing the righteous, holier-than-thou trumpet, and is fond of throwing barbs at KSB. It’s disgusting to imagine that he is a staunch supporter of the Kenya-Stockholm Embassy and has even written that Osewe attacks the Ambassador just because she is female.
This violent man pretends to be so endearing to the female gender and claims to represent the Young Turks, ready for change from the Kenyan status quo of slow thinking and tired people, etc. Apparently, his ‘Mike Tyson’ act depicts non-change, much worse than what he condemns. How I’d love to rub in a full jar of sarcasm on this young man; Phew! He reeks of barbarism and is boorish — a Neanderthal. Women should literally run away and avoid him like the plague whenever they see him.
It is ironical that Osewe’s supposed attacks are through well-thought and written criticisms that he legitimizes with examples, while for the Kenyan Mike Tyson, this particular attack was through brute force on his ex-wife. He is now nailed on the altar of scrutiny, left hanging high and dry in the Kenyan social circles. In the pubs, his name is whispered amidst the swigs of beer, while in bedrooms, some women now live in the fear of their spouses attempting a similar act on them. What was he thinking?
Ten years from now, the younger generation of that time will look back at the history of Kenya-Stockholm and brand him a “status quo”, who never brought the change he had propagated so much. It is easy to condemn as unchangeable, the people that one finds in the Kenya-Stockholm social circles. However, certain complexities due to social structures in Sweden, don’t allow for those radical changes this young man dreams of. He should just live and let live.
A young man like him who has been preaching peace and unity among Kenyans has now exposed the inner beast in him, thus banishing himself into social dumpsters. He must currently be stooping heavily in shame to avoid eye contact with Kenyans.
I am short of naming him and wish he could use his blog to criticize his beastly act. His ex-wife should probably come out in the open and condemn his brutality. It would be an eye-opener and a strong signal to the closeted boxers who beat their female partners, whose stories never surface among Kenya-Stockholmers.
I expected more Kenyan women to go for this batterer’s jugular, but anyway those who commented at KSB represented them. I applaud Pastor Beatrice Kamau for showing leadership through her organization (VOW) by enlightening women on what to do if battered.
Battered Women (Abuse)
by Audrey A. Cooper
Friday, December 21, 2001
Tell your daughter(s) and families, don’t
Live like that!
Abuse comes in many forms; mental, Sexual, Rape and Physical Abuse, etc.
Women suffer abuse, by a lover,
husband or friend that has low self-esteem.
Abuse keeps the woman subservient to
him, alienates her from her support system,
family or friends. It takes your dignity,
self esteem, resistance to pain, and
ability to make decisions.
Girlfriend, Regardless of what he says,
it is not your fault. He is the one to blame,
and he is not the only one you can count on.
In reality, you still have family and friends.
Abuse feeds on fear; he makes you
afraid of him, and not to leave. Don’t flinch
at the drop of a hat, or walk on eggshells
to get along.
Girlfriend, break the cycle. Get out if
you want to live! Or you will become
another Statistic in the hands of
an Undertaker, and Tell your
daughter(s) and families, don’t Live like that!
Live your life to the fullest. You deserve
so much More, and to be happy too.
I reiterate, Please don’t go out like that!
Audrey A Cooper
Copyright ©2001 Audrey Cooper
http://www.authorsden.com/visit/viewPoetry.asp?id=5660&AuthorID=4774
I think before anyone attacks or makes comments here about the case should know the real facts.Since that lady came into this man,s life his life has been full of stress n drama n she came from Germany before she finally landed in Stockholm.Gal we know the kind of life you were living here in Germany n you even went to create more drama in Stockholm what a disgrace i even here that you got saved what a disgrace.You should fix your life first before we publish it here.
Now that Caro has given a deeper description of the wife-batterer that happens to be a blogger who “preaches water but drinks wine”, I can also chip in and say: “What a shame!” A quick look at his blog reveals a poetic mind, a kind of cool young man who calls for unity among Kenya-Stockholmers. However, he has also plagiarized and pasted on his blog, a series of materials which he did not acknowledge their sources, titled: “Know your Tribe”.
We all know that the niceties sugar-coated by this man on his blog remain just that, in the virtual world. In real life he seems to be a real chauvinist, given the current accusations of wife-beating. Why beat an ex-wife? Did she “eat his goat?”
I have no clue as to what generated the thrashing of this poor woman, whom I deeply sympathize with and hope that she is getting adequate assistance to recover physically and mentally. Meanwhile, the batterer has poured Rasta blues on his blog, a sign that he is either feeling heroic, or is also using those lyrics to cleanse his wretched soul. Whichever way, as a young man, he should learn a lot from his brutality and chart a better path for his future.
Many Kenya-Stockholm men will testify that their relationships with women (lovers or spouses) are always full of ups and downs financially, socially and family-wise with children, due to the social structures in the Nordic countries. Many couples are on their own without the safety nets of relatives and friends back in Kenya. When we reach the stage of Exes, then we know that we have hit the downward spiral and may not recover the lost pieces. An ex is an ex and binding factors are either children or common property probably for profit or later on, for the children.
The ex-stage is dangerous in terms of reconciliation because one might have walked out and after a period, realizes that the assumed greener pastures are worse than the devil left behind. But again, go back to what? If you observe many Swedish couples, they play the ex-factor for so many times, bearing children in-between and after 20 years, realize that they just have a stream of ex-lovers without stable relationships. One is either in or out of a relationship completely. The back and forth rhythm is not a Kenyan style and will never be progressive socio-economically or in building a stable family.
We have learnt that the young Kenyan savage had been negotiating a comeback with his ex-wife, so could he have accumulated a lot of anger that he released on her due to the breakup? We do not know publicly what triggered the brutality at that moment, but we all know that in Sweden, better walk out and be called a coward, instead of hitting a woman, unless it is due to proven defense. This guy should have gone to a pub and drunk himself silly, or if it was daytime, should have gone to a church to seek solace in God. We have various Kenyan church leaders like Pastors Beatrice Kamau and Samson. We also have our newly-minted Brother Muirani. God’s services are open 24/7; why couldn’t he call them?
The young beast should use the ‘after-battering period’ to reflect upon his life by going way back to his days in Kenya, then re-tracing his steps up to where he is at the moment. This is very important in reconstructing his shattered soul, which is definitely the cause of that physical aggression. He might be a nice guy, but must be very careful and seek anger management. With time, he will realize that wife-battering leads to nowhere.
Last week we read of an ex-MP in Kenya who was charged with beating his wife into a 3-day coma. He was released on a KES 10,000 bail which is nothing for him, having robbed the poor taxpayers for the years he was in Parliament. Does this young man in Stockholm look upon such a man as his role model? If he doesn’t, then he must learn to control his fists because in Sweden, he may not only be fined, but possibly serve a jail term too. In the end, he will just be another Kenyan “Status quo.”
If he desires a socio-generational change, then he must lead from the front with excellent credentials.
Atieno:
Nice to read your challenge aimed at KSB commentators. However, this is a forum allowing readers to speak on the subject provided. If you know better than we know, feel free to elaborate with facts and proof.
The young man in question has the right to quit the relationship with his ex-wife. Why does he seek reconciliation if she stresses him? Do you think that by beating her he has solved the stressful life she brought him? We are collectively against wife-beating regardless of the causes. If you know more than the battering, then send full information to KSB to begin a new topic with names and the works.
Do you support wife-battering as a solution to solving spousal problems?
“More women in the world die form gender-based violence than from big killers like cancer and malaria.
In Sweden few would defend a wife beater. A man who beats his wife is widely seen as a deeply disturbed person who would be despised or pitied and punished. The woman would be advised to leave him immediately. Still, women stay with abusive partners – also in Sweden – for love or for fear, and some pay with their lives.”
By Torvald Åkesson, the Swedish Ambassador to Tanzania
http://www.swedenabroad.com/News____10795.aspx?slaveid=59646
Sweden Faces Facts on Violence Against Women: Abuse of women comes out in the open
By Lizette Alvarez
Published: WEDNESDAY, MARCH 30, 2005
According to the Amnesty International media release in 2004: “The prevalence of gender-based violence shatters many people’s image of Sweden as being the most gender equal country in the world.”
While the report praised Sweden’s laws for being “unambiguous,” it warned that “strongly worded legislation is not in itself a sufficient instrument to ensure women’s right” to lives without violence.
The Amnesty report concluded that over the past 15 years, incidents of violence against women in Sweden had spiraled upwards; the increase could not be explained away as merely a greater willingness by women to report such incidents to the police.
The number of police reports filed for assault against women increased by 40 percent during the 1990s, according to the Swedish National Council for Crime Prevention. In 1990, the number of assaults was 14,000; in 2003, it was 22,400, and in half of those cases the attacker was intimately involved with the woman.
An estimated 16 women a year are killed by their husband or partner, and only a fraction of the cases involving assaults, rape, a breach of a restraining orders or ongoing abuse are prosecuted.
The Amnesty report underscored that most incidents of violence against women continue to go unreported. In addition, the network of battered women’s shelters is deeply frayed, with only about 150 of the 289 municipalities in Sweden operating shelters. Those open for business rely on volunteer workers.
While many women’s groups had made strides in combating violence against women, there remained a heightened sense of frustration that the laws they had lobbied for were not working as they should. The Amnesty report helped stoke that debate.
http://www.iht.com/articles/2005/03/29/news/letter-4909045.php
The blogger cum ex-wife batterer is trying to cleanse his psychological woes at his blog by darting unveiled attacks on KSB.
It’s laughable that today he showers Prime Minister Raila Odinga with praises, having been his ardent basher just a year ago. He had no vision of shared power in Kenya and stuck to the traditional tribal chest-thumping of his ilk, who never saw the powerful presidency clipped.
If he is out to proclaim “positivity”, then he should emerge with a new attitude that does not include bashing KSB by referring to its stories or go crying to Aftonbladet and Expressen which first published the stories. I think that some times, Osewe anachokozwa bure. KSB was so lenient that the woman molester was not even named. Guilt consciousness has caught up with him and what he is saying indirectly is that people who beat women should be left alone.
How is that possible when we just lost Juliet to a wife shooter and the other Kenyan lady who was hit on the head with a stone and she died? He can try to cleanse his image but I doubt whether it will change his new profile in Kenya Stockholm. This guy blogger was beating a woman who had left him because of his bad manners. Can someone please bring us the “inside edition” so that we don’t forget this brutal attack.
Beating his ex-wife will remain a dent in his character forever among Kenya-Stockholmers. No more Mr. Good Guy, because the dot on his forehead has changed everything about him.
Preaching positive thinking on a blog does not insinuate a peaceful mind in real life. He should work hard on being positive first, by reflecting upon his inner troubled SELF, before oozing it to others. It is another case of throwing stones when he is residing in a glass house.
Sometimes I fail to understand Kenyan men. Some of them are very naive and its no wonder that Kenyan women are known to pick up Naijas. If I were this guy, I could have kept my cool and hope that the story slips away slowly. I am idle at the moment and I am hoping that some KSB addict will add some flesh to the bone of a story so that I can begin to feast but do I say…
Wacheni nitoboe! This blogger who preaches peace and unity among Kenya-Stockholmers is a fake young man. He actually beat his ex-wife out of pure irrationality, in front of other Kenyans at a party.
She got tipped that he had abandoned their daughter at the party to wander around beer cans on the floor.
On arrival, she found him busy necking, petting and enjoying a lap dance with a well-known Kenyan woman. She then confronted him verbally and out of shame, the molester set upon his ex-wife with blows to silence her complaints.
This is typical of some Kenyan men when caught red-handed fooling around with other women. His poor ex had no choice but to call the police, who whisked him to a cell and they temporarily lost custody of their daughter until things normalized.
Some people have commented at KSB that his ex wife is problematic and has never given the blogger peace since they met. However, we know that the blogger was romantically involved with another mid-aged Kenyan woman while they had marital problems and needed her help. Therefore, dear KSB readers, the blogger is not a Mr. Nice after all, having done this with their mediator. He already lost the moral high ground because he is immoral.
Those who support his barbaric act of wife-beating think it is a solution to domestic problems. I believe this has not improved anything in his personal life, but earned him a bad record legally, because battering is forbidden in Sweden.
Some of us know more than what has been written at KSB about the blogger and he should not waste his time “preaching water yet he drinks wine”.
If he does not want his ex, then he should not negotiate a comeback. If it is for their kid, custody can be shared without living together.
It’s time he stopped living a lie on his blog while in reality, he remains the beast we know he is.
The Kenyan blogger who is now known as a wife beater, wants the Hellens and Cheptoos of Kenya-Stockholm to be left alone. It means that KSB commentators should not comment on issues taken to the Swedish media by disgruntled Kenyans.
It is a poor assessment, because there is no law barring Kenyans from discussing matters available in the media. Even Swedish people commented on Hellen at various blogs, so why does he not attack them?
We know where he comes from because wife-beating is his new hobby. He seems to be a defender of negative social issues like his supporters who encouraged him to hang in there, without condemning him, during the beating. His act must be roundly condemned, no matter what! Those men who were present and watched it should also have condemned him, otherwise they are just as bad.
There is a record of Kenyan women who have died in Stockholm because of their male partners, so our community must reject wife beating.
now comes the news that in Kenya more then 40% suffer abuse How do we stop it
Nigerian High Commission Wife Battery
The Kenya Federation of Women Lawyers FIDA, now wants the diplomatic status and immunity from arrest and prosecution enjoyed by Nigerian High Commissioner to Kenya Dr. Chijioke Wilcox Wigwe lifted. The diplomat is accused of battering and causing serious bodily harm to his wife of over 20 years, Tessi Iyi Wigwe.
A Kenyan man suffers domestic violence from his diplomat wife, Yvonne Khamati.