Kenya-Stockholmer In Deep Shit After Messing With Swedish Woman

In the last few weeks, KSB has basically been absorbed into Kenyan politics and this situation meant that the real Kenya-Stockholm storos which have been piling up at the reception have had to chill in the cooler. Some fans even began to complain that they are no longer getting their weekly doses of them storos because of this nomination crap in Kenya. While the nominations were featuring at the studio, some interesting developments were taking place in Kenya-Stockholm. 

Babu, a Kenyan male resident in Stockholm, is in serious need of help after entering into deep shit. On 10th of October 2010, Babu got married to a cute Swedish chick who had madly fallen in love with him. As their relationship grew “from strength to strength”, the couple decided to get married in order to spend the rest of their lives together, just as God had allegedly planned.

However, the problem was that according to the Swedish authorities, Babu had to return to Kenya, put up an application for PUT (Residence Permit) at the Swedish Embassy in Nairobi then wait for a decision from the Immigration department. Babu had showered the Swedish chick with love and unable to do without him, the chick decided to help him fix them mapeps.

In January 2011, Babu boarded a KLM flight to Kenya to lay an entrapment for them mapeps and everything appeared to have been moving smoothly. When he arrived in Kenya, he believed that his key problem would soon be fixed and that he would return to Sweden to enjoy life with his new wife.

Babu had apparently convinced the chick that his lack of them mapeps was seriously inhibiting his love for her because his state of “paperlessness” had cast him in an awkward psychological limbo that was giving him sleepless nights, sometimes compromising his ability to give her those memorable fakathons she had become so addicted to. For the blue-eyed twenty something Swedish chick who had never experienced real-time climax since she discovered that the fun bags on her chest and the joy button between her labia had extra physiological functions, meeting Babu was the best Christmas present she had ever received in her entire life. Babu had elevated her mhanyo experience to an extent that for the first time, she could concretely quantify what she has been missing in the bedroom. With a 24 hour service available at the sheer touch of the boys jewel, the chick dumped all her dildos as she settled down to enjoy the real thing. Gone were the lonely and cold nights that left her with feelings of being unwanted. A new life had just began and it had to work.

Consequently, the mapepe road block that was standing on the way of her sweet and newly found romance had to be dealt with by any means necessary. Babu appeared to have played his game adroitly because the lassie was not just “head over heels”. Her very life and existence had suddenly begun to rotate around what former US President George W. Bush could call “The Sweet Axis of Babu”. To say that they were “deeply in love” or that they loved each other “to death” would be an understatement.

This is because the Kenyan dude and the Swedish blondie had kinda been fused with a powerful romantic glue made in Kenya and, according to observers, even two powerful Volvo tractors pulling from different directions could not separate them if they were on each other’s arms. It is under this arrangement that Babu travelled to Kenya to hunt for them mapeps so that he could return to Sweden and hanya happily ever after.

The chick is a lover of personal freedom
True to character, the chick had planned Babu’s trip to the minutest detail. If you have been living with jungus like many Kenya-Stockholmers, you will know that if there is one thing jungus wana elewa and love regardless of the level of education, it is how to plan a trip and organize it to fit into personal pleasure and general well-being.

If you are in a relationship with a jungu and you want to test this out, tell him/her to take over and organize your diary (especially your free time) and then accept to put your wallet on the table. The job will be done before it begins. The only task you will be left with will be to follow instructions then sit back and enjoy the moments. In the case of Babu, he surrendered his diary but because his wallet was not heavy enough, the chick chipped in and funded the trip. She had mobilized them kronazz and when Babu arrived in Kenya, there was no sina pesa talk.

The chick paid for Babu’s rent, food and entertainment while she also gave him good pocket money for seven months as he waited for his mapeps “to mature” in the ever hot Nairobi summer. Once he arrived in Kenya, the chick began to miss Babu’s ding-dong bad styles and to underline the seriousness of the situation, she decided to travel to Kenya to reconnect with her lover.

Under the camouflage of “giving Babu hope” as the waiting continued, the chick booked her flight and landed in Nairobi at short notice. According to Babu, he could detect that the chick was really missing him and as soon as she arrived, he embarked on lip-sucking right at Jomo Kenyatta International Airport. They were soon on their way to her hotel room where he quickly opened fire to welcome her wife home. She had obviously been missing her nocturnal doses and for her, the trip was worth the money. Babu had been coached by some Kenyan veterans to ensure that he sends back romantic cards every week with “Baby I miss you” aka “My love for you will never freeze” kinda phrases to help the chick keep him in her mind.

As had been expected, Babu’s papers were soon ready and it was time to fly back to Sweden. There was no problem because baby paid for his air ticket with no questions asked. Once in Sweden with mapeps at hand, the lover girl fixed her new hubby a job without any problemos. Things were working like clock-work, as if life had been programmed by a prophet. It was like the earth’s rotation round the sun that is never late and that never fails. The Kenyan dude landed at Arlanda International Airport on 6th August 2011 and according to plan, Sweet-heart was at hand to pick Babu up.

One thing which Babu appreciates about this chick is that she is a freedom loving girl. She wanted Babu to be free and to meet with his fellow Kenyans as much as possible. From the chick’s perspective, this was good for Babu’s well-being because he needed to be relaxed when he returned home to work on her.  Barely four hours after his arrival, the chick allowed Babu to “touch base” with one of his best Kenya-Stockholm pals – Ganjola. That evening, Babu got zonked until late into the night, only keeping in touch with darling occasionally to assure her that everything was fine. In as much as this sounds unbelievable, Babu stayed at Ganjola’s place for a good two days without problemos. Once he was through with Kenya-Stockholm orientation, it was time to give his wife more attention.

Her romantic universe did not start and end with climax
Things started well but as minutes turned into hours, hours into days and days into weeks, the long arm of Sheitani began to pay the couple a visit. Although the love life appeared perfect, upande ya inter-personal relationship was not doing so well. The Kenyan dude was not yet used to doing the dishes as the woman watched TV, doing the laundry, vacuum cleaning, arranging objects in the house, watering the flowers, going shopping, walking the dog (1 hour per day), cooking and performing a plethora of domestic cores at short notice. He could not control the TV remote therefore, watching football could not be guaranteed regardless of the teams which were playing. He was not used to playing the errand boy either and the more sweet heart sent him to the shop to buy chocolates and stuff, the more he began to question the kind of life he had entered into.

The issue was not Babu’s opposition to work in the house but the speed with which sudden changes had taken place in relation to job responsibilities inna da house. By the time the Kenyan dude realized that the chick’s romantic universe did not start and end with climactic gasps in the bed-room, it was like Babu was literally paying for his mapeps with extra human labour.

For the first time when he expressed opposition to the kind of work the chick expected him to perform on a routine basis, the wife told him point black that she had spent a fortune in helping him with “paper-work” and that he needed to appreciate. Although the woman was doing her bit of the work, the main problem was that if Babu failed to vacuum clean or if he delayed with dish-washing because he had been checking e-mail, the woman would shout at him. Babu was not so much used to being shouted at by a woman. In Kenya when he was growing up as a young boy, he witnessed his dad beat his mom repeatedly to discipline her “as was necessary” and in his Kenyan mind, the episode could simply be duplicated in Sweden “as was necessary”. Kumbe!

One day, Babu forgot to remove clothes from the washing machine into the dryer and hell broke loose. The woman started shouting at him and in the confusion, Babu hit her on the face and she collapsed on the floor. It was a hard one. Babu now says that it was his biggest mistake. When the woman managed to get herself up, she did not talk to Babu. She called the police and Babu was taken into custody. Somehow, the matter was resolved and Babu was released after some agreement between the couple. He was lucky because he had been forgiven.

Two months later, Babu hit his woman again when the woman insisted that Babu track down her pants which had gone missing in the bedroom. That morning, it is not very clear what happened because the last thing Babu remembers is pulling the pants down as things got out of hand. The problem that morning was that Babu could not remember where he dropped the pants because things happened fast after the woman came home late and horny.

The funny thing was that the woman had more than 100 pants stacked in the pant box but she insisted on that very red one for some unknown reason. Babu did try to plead with her – that she give him time to look around without a lot of tension but the woman refused to listen. Instead, she cast a pillow on Babu’s face and that is when hell can be said to have broken loose again. Babu slapped her several times until she was forced to flee from the house without her pants albeit in her night dress.

End of the game
Fortunately, that was not the end of the road for Babu. This time, the police was not called but the woman called a friend who had helped fix Babu’s job at Örby Gummi to help sort out the crisis. After a lot of discussions, the couple went back home to “begin a new life”, free from quarrels and punches. In the meantime, Babu was just learning that the chick he had married was actually a devil without horns. He began to understand the almost invisible marks she had on her body that suggested that someone (probably an ex boyfie or hubby) may have been wasting her with similar treatment due to her poor habit. She was basically a very good woman but she could suddenly turn nasty, rude and violent.

The peace did not last long. Soon after, there was big trouble when Babu forgot to water the flowers as had been agreed. Matters were made worse by the fact that Babu had also forgotten to dispose garbage. It was his week to dump garbage. An argument soon broke out and the worst thing that happened was that the woman came very close to Babu and pointed her index finger directly into his eyes while shouting that he was an idiot. Once again, hell broke loose but this time, Babu did not hit her. He strangled her on the neck as he hit her on the head with his clenched fist “to teach her a lesson”. That was the end of the game.

The couple divorced on 20th November 2012 and five days later, Babu moved out of the woman’s apartment. Babu had some cash he had saved for a rainy day and soon found a Kenyan lady who was willing to help him out with his immediate problem of accomodation. He parted with SEK 20k and soon settled with the woman in a strict business deal which was well defined.

The problem now is that Babu’s mapeps are going out in June this year and he badly needs help. While he appreciates the enormous amount of help he has received from friends and well-wishers, he says that he needs more help. He is ready to pay for any kind of assistance from anybody who can sort him out. KSB has his phone number which will be delivered to any good Samaritan. Are you the anointed one to help Babu out of his current crisis?

Okoth Osewe 

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