The holiday season is over and the crew of Kenya Stockholm Blog is back from likizo which began shortly before Christmas. Party time is up as many Kenyans begin to crawl back to work and other everyday activities. The Kenyan scene during the holiday season has been very busy especially at the social level. Between 20th December and 1st of January, four parties were thrown while two harambees were also spewed. On December 23rd, ODM-K Scandinavia threw a fund raising Party which raised over 10.000 kr – good luck to ODM-K Scandinavia.
Parties on December 24th and 25th will be remembered by those who attended them at Alby Skolan as rather “mixed”. The Kenyan crowd was not so big, partly because the profiles of the two parties were more “African” than “Kenyan”. Majority of Kenyans who have been attending “African parties” at Alby have mainly been the youth whom, according to “BBC Stockholm”, have had their own agenda.
AFRICAN PARTY AT ALBY
Wazee have been ji-tete-aring that the African parties at Alby are so much dominated by youngsters in a way that makes Wazee feel “out of place”, if not old fashioned and good for nothing alcoholics. According to an aging “Party veteran” from Kenya, the “African parties” at Alby are mainly “convergence points” for vijana to hook up one another and that the music and the informal dressing code tells it all.
“I have never pictured myself in a baggie shirt, trouser and a funny scurf on my head as I walk around in a complicated gait, complete with a Rapper’s greeting of Yo man”, said a Mzee Kijana who regretted that he came to Stockholm as a youth but that age was catching up with him. He is right because he should have retired in Kenya by now.
This does not mean that the youth parties have been completely devoid of Wazee. A Mzee wa Kazi who has made it a point of attending these Parties “to keep up with the times” told KSB that his actual agenda ni kupunguza uzee because uzee sio ugonjwa. This will be tough for non Swahili speakers but this site is Kenyan. Contact KSB via email for translations in case you are intaresteda.
For the Mzee, the problem is that Zilizopendwa never feature on the DJ’s list and one has to imbibe whatever comes up from the speakers in the name of the youth.
“If, after three numbers, you cannot identify who is singing, then you have definitely not been following the music charts and so you must be getting advanced in years”, said the Mzee to KSB.
According to the “Young Mzee” (as he would like to be called), the youth of today (especially the Alby crew) are so rough that sometimes the boys articulate with the girls in the toilet.
“What else do you say when you get in there to down load your fluids only to find used condoms floating in the water?”, he posed.
Surely, this is serious business which could qualify for an emergency meeting of parents but do I say?
On one occasion, a well known Mzee notorious for displaying an appetite for ndogo ndogos did manage to hook up a real ndogo ndogo from Uganda. She was scantily dressed and any observer could “consume her” for she was a typical case of “eye candy”. If you are not in the loop, then eff you.
“It was very easy”, the Mzee told KSB. “In fact, she hooked me up as if she understood my psychology”, the Ka mzee told KSB.
“But when we finished the bizzines and got down to some real serious talk, I noticed that I might have gotten entangled in some “Paper-making kinda bizzines”, he added as he stuffed a cigarette butt in its right place.
The thing izza, the ka dem just zoomed in and pulled the Mzee from his chair for a dance. Some Kenyans who had been dhiangaring (drinking) with the Mzee on the same table simply became catalysts and encouraged him, shouting that he should “Punguza uzee”.
Then, on the dance floor, the situation began to take an interesting twist when the ka Manzi began to make some very dangerous twists from the waist area as she moved delicately closer to the Mzee’s “crtitical point of convergence”.
The Mzee was eventually magnetized when the Kamanzi surprised him with a complete “embrace” on the floor after the DJ heightened tension with a “Nakupenda” kinda song. The thing ended up with the gal offering manyake (in plenty), leaving the Mzee with real msosi for thought!
“We agreed to be good friends to check how the situation developed”, he told KSB.
When asked about the latest state of affairs, he told KSB that the ka flesh is difficult to shake off coz of her qualities in the area of “massage”. But that is all from that link. The Mzee has been pensive and KSB has decided to leave him alone unless he comes up with something new.
KILIMANJARO LEOPARDS AND THE MÄRSTA PARTY
On December 30th, Kilimanjaro Leopards entertained Wakenya and friends at Märsta. A scan of the Party by KSB Crew showed that it was well attended. With over 90 fun lovers in attendance by mid night, it is accurate to say that it was a “respectable show” although members of the audience were rather shy when it came to taking the action to the dance floor. One unique feature of the Party is that there were lots of people (Kenyan and non Kenyan) you rarely bump into within the Stockholm social scene.
Some Kenyans are becoming really sensitive when it comes to who they dance with on the floor especially if one of the dancers is attached (married or in a GF/BF kinda deal).
The problem is that there are some party goers who do not give a damn as long as you loosen up on the floor. Take the case of this guy whose honest intention was just to have a clean dance with this Ka manzi. Tusker was on sale and after the magic water had its own independent effects, the innocent dance advanced to a new dimension after the DJ noticed something spooky and fixed a kinda “blue”.
Rumor has it that the Ka manzi tipped the DJ with a tot of whisky so she could have a golden opportunity to squeeze the guy “in front of the crowd”. Just wait. There was no escape. It was a Marvin Gay with his “sexual healing” beat.
Within a second, the guy was already chest to chest with the Ka manzi who (by the way) had deliberately stuck the guy’s hands on her bossom for maximum effect. In the meantime, the music blared “let’s make love tonight…come on come on come, are you feeling right”. What is more?
There was no breathing space between the two and as the married guy tried to understand the quickly developing situation, the Ka manzi had already wrapped herself around him (complete with arms tying up the guy like a bundle of cargo). The guy must have been saying “after this I have to go” but the Ka damage had been done.
On the surface, it was all about a dance but when rumors hit Stockholm city (Wakenya wengine ni wajinga – they call it “hot gossip”), it was like so and so is these days pushing with Lady X. The main argument was that the situation on the dance floor was no fiction because the Ka poor guy was seen glued on the Ka manzi. “It looked like you could only pull him off with a Ka tractor”, commented one gossiper.
It could have been OK if things ended there. The big problem is that the guy’s wifero (or First Lady if you are more sophisticated) was soon updated by I don’t know who.
According to the update, her beloved hubby was seen on the dance floor dancing with Nani in a kinda of a posture that left nothing to the imagination. “They sqeezed like they had just discovered themseolves”, the Fiest lady was told.
When the rumor arrived at the home front, it immediately stimulated a tiff. The first Lady was like “This cannot continue”. KSB was not there but some spies close to the couple have leaked some info.
“From today onwards, no more going to Kenyan parties”, declared the First lady. No wonder, some Kenyans have suddenly vanished from the scene. But, there was something more.
“Aha. So you are pushing with so and so”, enquired the wife who had been taking care of the Kids as the hubby “represented the family” at an important Kenyan function.
The hubby had apparently convinced the First lady that the family needed to be represented at Kenyan functions so that when a family member lost a loved one in Kenya, Wakenya could pour home with generous contributions saying that “Nani hukuja kwa vitu za Wakenya”. When the news hit home that the hubby was seen with a ndogo ndogo on the floor, it was all chaos at home.
“What? With who? What are you talking about?”, retorted the innocent hubby.
“You were seen dancing with Miss X, that Ka Malaya who has been pang pang panging with everybody in town”.
When the guy narrated his ordeal to KSB, his opinion was that close range encounters on the dance floor with every Anyango, Wambui and Chevakali are the kinda stuff he will have to be careful about in the new year – talk about a New year resolution that could actually help.
THE NIGERIAN HARAMBEE
The harambee to raise funds for a Nigerian national who was the girlfriend of a Kenyan lady was conducted on Friday December 29th. According to information from Mucere Mugo, a Kenyan at the center of the fund raising, the attendance was good and the amount of cash that was raised will soon be made public.
As usual, leading Kenyan gossipers never went on holiday and KSB only had to provoke a gossip.
“What do you think about the Nigerian harambee?” is what it took to provoke a series of reactions.
“Why should Kenyans take responsibility for a dead Nigerian?”, asked a Kenyan. “Why is the gal not identifying herself?”, retorted another contributor. By the way, we can’t mention names here and that is the rule. If you don’t like it, then “see ya!”.
“We Kenyans are being misused. Why should we raise funds for some dead Nigerian we never met in life. Why is the girlfriend not identifying herself and, by the way, why can’t Nigerians take responsibility because their son is dead?”.
These are some questions Wakenya were asking as KSB went about its business of gathering in order to dissipate information. They are very difficult questions and KSB will not get into the business of trying to answer them here.
KSB: “But there are many Kenyans involved in romantic relationships with non Kenyans. Does it mean that when these Kenyans are faced with similar situations, other Kenyans should not get involved?”.
Answer: “These Kenyans should also get involved in other harambees, not just shout for help when they have problems. The Kenyan community is not a Charity organization”.
KSB: “But if you don’t want to attend the harambee, you can simply keep off instead of making lots of negative propaganda”.
“Bwana Osewe. Stop that crap. You scratch my back and I scratch your back. I just knew about this dead Nigerian the other day.
“Where has the girlfriend been because I have been attending all Kenyan harambees. The problem is that Wakenya ni washenzi. Whenever they hear that there is a harambee because a dead body must be transported to wherever, they just rush”, argued another veteran. She lives in Norsborg.
KSB: “That is an abuse to Wakenya. Harambee is a Kenyan culture and when you say that, you are abusing Wakenya who believe in the spirit. Many Kenyans did not know Juliet Kavinga but they came to raise funds and her body was taken home. What are you taking about”.
Answer. “This is the problem. People believe that Wakenya have money and that all that you need is to send an SMS about a harambee then it’s abrakadabra. We need to wake up!”.
This was a very respectable Mkenya who could easily pass as “an opinion leader”. KSB will not pass comment at the moment and leaves the debate to continue.
JUST IN PASSING
Following the death of George Boddie’s father, Kenyans congregated at his den on Sato December 30th to console the family and to show solidarity with the bereaved. Speaking to KSB crew which represented the blog site at the function, George said that he was happy with the support. May the soul of George’s Dad rest in eternal peace.
CLAUSE DANIELSSON PASSES AWAY
Claus Danielsson, the long standing boyfriend of Serah Nielsen (a Kenyan) died last week. Caluse went to Kenya in mid December with his girlfriend. According to information reaching KSB, he returned to Sweden on Wednesday last week. He was met at the Airport by his daughter who welcomed him back home at Rinkeby in Stockholm. The daughter does not live in the same flat.
Throughout Thursday, Clause’s family members tried to reach him through both his mobile and home numbers but there was no response. They then decided to alert the police. At first, the police tried to check him out at his residence in Solna but he was not there. After several frantic efforts, police visited his home at Rinkeby where he lived with Serah Nielsen. When they got no response, police broke themselves into the house and found Clause dead. The body was transported to the morgue. A post mortem is due this week to establish the cause of death.
The death of Clause shocked many Kenyans. Despite his white skin and Swedish nationality, Clause was largely seen as a black man in a white skin. He identified himself with Kenyans and attended almost every Kenyan function. During the Nyama Choma Party that was held last summer, Clause paid a very significant role which was recognized by all Kenyans.
When Juliet Kavinga was found killed, Clause was part of the Juliet Stockholm Committee which raised over Ksh 450.000 to transport Juliet’s body to Kenya. On several occasions, Clause has played a very big role in helping organize the Kenyan community in Stockholm. At the time of his death, he was the Assistant secretary of the newly formed Kenya Social Forum in Sweden (Kesofo). He landed this post as a recognition of his contribution to the struggle to organize Wakenya especially in Stockholm. His death has left a gap that will never be filled. KSB hopes that the departed soul of Mr. Clause Danielsson will rest in eternal peace and sends condolences to the bereaved family.
OKOTH OSEWE’S PICTURE AT THE BLOG SITE
In response to funs and supporters of KSB, I have put up my picture at the site. It’s really been a difficult decision because I don’t like publicity. All the same, I hope that this will put to an end the stream of mails around the world about the “picture project”. I promised to do it before the end of the year.
I was not in a position to make any explanations for the benefit of KSB readers who just woke up one morning to find the image of “OO” on the screen. A fun accused me of having been “in hiding” for a long time and appreciated the fact that at long last, a face can be put on the name of “OO”. What I can say for now is simple. “Happy New Year!”
Okoth Osewe
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