Kenya-Stockholm world continues to wallow deep in shocking controversy and unspeakable
scandal. In an unprecedented, unrivalled and unparalleled moment of revelation, it has emerged that Renah Chentelle is not the daughter of Bryan Arwa and that the story regarding the paternity of Chentelle is steeped in unbridled deceit and open subterfuge.
Jaqueline, the mother of the 23 year-old Bryan who has claimed that he is Chentelle’s father, has called KSB to protest at the use of her son by unscrupulous women in Stockholm for purposes of sorting out their residence permits to settle in Sweden.
Sounding angry, irritated and upset, Bryan’s mother said that it is time for her to speak about the on-going case in her capacity as the mother of Bryan and as a person who should have been the grandmother of Chentelle if Bryan was the biological father of the charming 3 month old baby girl.
“This case has been going on for a long time behind my back. I am calling to say that Bryan is not the father of this child and this should be known to everybody who plans to protest in this case”, she told KSB.
She said that those who are behind the scandal are the same people who registered the child using her address without her permission while they are the same people who married off Bryan secretly without her knowledge.
“I knew that Bryan was married when I went to take my personbevis (a certificate of status issued by the Tax office)”, she told KSB. She said that Hellen and her friends are not interested in Bryan but in using him to make papers.
“I brought my son here to give him a better life. He went through his education and when he joined University, these people brought him a baby to adopt. Now, they have brought another baby and trying to use the Swedish system to ruin the life of my son”, she said.
She added that the gang which has masterminded the operation have turned Bryan against her and appealed to KSB to publish the truth about the case for the sake of transparency.
SWEDISH AUTHORITIES INFORMED ABOUT CONCERNS
In a moment of anger, she said that the father of the child is a Nigerian man whom Hellen had been cohabiting with. “I am not opposed to being a grandmother. Let there be a DNA test to prove that my son is the father of the child because what I know is that he is not and this is what Kenyans in Stockholm should understand”, she said.
In the continuing flow of fresh and shocking revelations, Bryan’s mother told KSB that although Hellen’s mother is currently in Sweden, her attempts to meet her and to talk to her about the issue as parents have failed because Hellen and friends have refused to allow for such a meeting.
I was sick on bed when I was told that Bryan was soon going to have a baby under circumstances I did not know”, she said. She added that as soon as the baby was born, the group of friends dumped Bryan who has admitted through KSB that he did not know that Hellen was seeking publicity about the case in Aftonbladet.
“Bryan has been unable to take his exams because of this case. I will not support a scandal of this nature. These people have overpowered my son and something needs to be done”, she said.
She said that Hellen and friends are arguing that Bryan is old enough to take his own decisions but that what they are forgetting is that a child is involved who is not Bryan’s.
“I want to maintain a motherly relationship with my son. Hellen is using the wrong strategy because I was ready to discuss this issue but they have abused me and they don’t even want to see me”, she said.
She attacked those advising Hellen, and vowed to call Aftonbladet Newspaper to put the record straight. She says that she has already informed the Swedish authorities about her concerns and that she will not sit by and watch her sons life ruined by malicious people.
“This is a complete set-up to impose someone’s kid on my son. I challenge Hellen to go for a DNA test and until then, she ought to stop using my son in this way”, she said. She added that it was wrong for Hellen to have rushed to the media single-handedly with such a sensitive issue and that she will have to deal with the consequences. KSB is following the story.
Every time some Kenyans come back from abroad, expect some comedy. Suddenly they have forgotten directions and their mother tongue and need local guides and interpreters to find their way around. And as a village teacher who is slightly literate, I have had the privilege of acting interpreter to some returnees.
“Tell Mom that my system cannot handle this kind of food.” I translated this with relish, implying that everybody should know the dangers of some local vegetables that the chap and I had been brought up on.
In my social roving, I see many returnees wearing dark sunglasses irrespective of the weather. Perhaps they are winter guys and girls, used to the glare of snow in their adopted countries.
Some of them often demand alien things in the average Kenyan cafÈ like milk shakes, pizzas, herbal tea, hot dogs and diet coke, to the bewilderment of all within earshot.
And they often ask prices in dollars or euros, if you are able to decipher their accents.
And have you noted that their gestures and body cues are frequently western to a fault? When talking to us they keep a wide personal distance that can be misconstrued as antisocial to our African sensitivities.
The men are given to a little pomp when shaking hands and hugging. The women often shake off dreads or imaginary hair from their foreheads, just like wazungu.
Our brothers and sisters coming from abroad are always amazed by small things, like birds and insect and issue a stream of dizzying words to express their appreciation.
“Oh Gawd (God) how beautiful, splendid, cool, terrific! Absolutely!”
When these people bring their children along, they often confound their local kin with a totally foreign style of parenting.
For we have to quickly incorporate these brats’ interruption of adult conversations.
“Dad, this woman looks so black and old,” a brat may say about his grandmother.
And as often happens in such situations, everybody pretends not to have heard.
The children may take fright at the sight of cows and shenzi chicken and question the wisdom of coming this far in the jungles.
“Let’s go back home, dad!”
Some returnees may have left as shy village boys and girls on scholarships or green cards but they come back strutting, boisterous, and full of democracy and civil rights. They bring a strange rowdiness with them, commenting on every issue.
“This cannot happen in America, man!” They preface all their complaints this way when vehicles stall in traffic jams or local functions take too long to start.
Comically, they may demand a lawyer at every minor brush with the police.
People are often amazed at how quickly they have forgotten our old and frequently chaotic ways.
At social functions, these people are often annoying as they suggest solutions to all of Africa’s problems.
“I have seen many community based projects in Adelaide, British Columbia and Cardiff,” they will often say and outline novel development agendas. But they are nowhere to be seen when the time comes to donate money and take action.
In my social wandering, I often gather many anecdotes of how some Kenyans living abroad take incredulity to new levels by staying in five star hotels in Nairobi when they visit.
So, their rural kin adorn matatus with banana twigs and journey there to meet them, singing: “Anaweza Bwana anaweza….”
Others hire 4WD vehicles, hung binoculars and video cameras around their necks, stash mineral water bottles in their pockets and venture to their rural homes in daylight.
But they are back in urban centres for the night long before our witches and night runners come out. Yet many Kenyans living abroad venture back to the village quietly, with no trumpets blaring.
As I sign off to gather more social comedy, please cut out the concert when you return from abroad; you are not from heaven, yet. Absolutely, man!
John K. Kariuki
Sometimes, strange things happen in Kenya-Stockholm to say the least. There is a Kenyan woman who is in serious crisis but instead of the community pulling up resources to assist her, people are engaged in negative talk that has become more destructive than helpful.
The issue is very precarious and deserves a very careful and tactical approach otherwise the woman’s life will simply sink deeper into the abyss. When she arrived in Sweden in the 90s, she was young, smooth and energetic. Just like every Mwananchi who arrives here, she did manage to work out her papers in her own cleaver way and appeared to have been headed for the top. Then she made one terrible mistake. She allegedly started selling Manyake in plenty.
At that time, she was unattached and through pure charm and elegance, she was extremely marketable as a small bundle of a chick. During her many excursions at customer joints, she bumped into a “Mr. money bag” and the two soon got together in what was believed to have been a mission to do it together happily ever after. The positive side of the union is that she cooled down her twilight appointments because money was in a de house and the life style she was living was considerably high by Kenyan standards in Stocky.
Up to now, few Kenyans know what happened because out of the blue, she began behaving like a person who had split up. At first, she tried to cover up the split but with time, chapaa became scarce, she moved to them sides where Wakenya reside and stopped “shining” to Wananchi whom, unfortunately, had been reduced to odiangabuks.
By then she had one kid whose Daddy was apparently the Chairman of “Unidentified Fatherly Objects” (UFO) roaming in town. Once Mr. money bag transformed himself into her “X”, close friends she had been hanging out with began to desert her as they also started spilling her secrets strategically into the ocean of Kenya-Stockholm. It is at this point when the very friends who enticed her into the Manyake business are the same people who began to let the cat out of the bag. The problem is that they thought she was moving “too fast” and to slow her down, they needed to throw some stuff into the rumour mill.
According to some of the harvests gathered by a KISS agent, she used to talk big – about her week-ends in London, shopping in Paris and that kinda talk. She was the typical boisterous and exhibitionistic Kenyan who will go out and broadcast a holiday in Italy, a meeting with Raila’s son in Kenya during a “go back home” moment or even open a radio station to broadcast that “new-second hand car” he bought when business was thriving.
The advantage with the split up is that the lady came down to the real world while harsh conditions forced her to look for a job. There is a Kenyan who specializes in fixing Wazee jobs and this good citizen wired her up at some home where she began to earn a living. Unfortunately, working with wazee was not her “bottle of whisky”, partly because she was already spoilt with easy money. She became lazy and depressed. One day, a lady mzee called her “nigger” and that was the end of the story.
She was in the middle of helping her to get off the bed when the word “nigger” slipped out. She had not been prepared for this kinda situation by her workmates who never alerted her that the woman (who was apparently born in Nazi Germany) could, at times, exhibit semi-racist tendencies that needed to be neglected.
She rarely handled her but on this particular day, there was shortage of staff after influenza attacked jungus forcing two staff members to take sick leave. What happened next after the abrupt “nigger debacle” is that she left the ka lady mzee to go on a free fall on the hard floor as she rushed to the boss to announce that she was quitting work because she cannot stand racism from a customer at the work place.
In the meantime, the responsible staff members called an ambulance as they entered into shock about what our lady had done. The lady mzee had already gone into coma as our lady girl gave a lecture about racism and discrimination in Sweden. On average, she is admirably tough and routinely lectures men who crosses her path.
Our lady girl had been waiting for an opportunity that could see her through to another job – something to fire her up so that she could quit. Back in her mind, she had the illusion that she could go back to her original business which was easy and more profitable.
When she tried a come-back to manyake business, she began to experience difficulties because the market situation had changed, having been transformed by younger legs from different regions. It was like she was a Nokia 3310 when latest Erickssons had hit the market in a big way.
In short, her marketability had withered with time, besides, she had kids to take care of. The difficult circumstances forced her to get on welfare and this is when her life began to go down even further.
While her life was undergoing a terrific transformation, Kenya-Stockholmers were busy at different sitting rooms, analyzing her situation and predicting her future instead of helping her. To cut a short story shorter, the woman now needs help.
She lost her house and became homeless. The problem now is that she has kids and she is putting up with a good Samaritan who has squeezed her with the kids in a tiny room where life is impossible. She does not just need someone to rush to her with advice. According to contacts, she needs someone who can convince her that she has a serious problem which she needs to accept so that she can be helped.
The person who needs to talk to her should be good in handling such matters otherwise the whole move will back fire. According to sources, she is in a poor mental state and with the kids, something needs to be done. Those who have contacted KSB to appeal for help believe that she could be on the verge of doing something bad to herself if things do not change soon.
She needs to be consoled that life here can be tough and that she can still pick up because she is reportedly on the verge of despair. Contacts have said that for the help to be effective, her identity needs to remain confidential and not even KSB was given her identity. If you can help, KSB could put you through to a whistle blower who can begin the connection.
The Kenya Stockholm Blog (KSB) takes this opportunity to congratulate President Barack Obama on the occasion of his election as the President of the United States of America.
The Election of Obama, a Kenyan-American, as President of the world’s greatest Nation is evidence that Kenyans and Africans in general are intelligent people who are capable of rising to the highest positions of leadership anywhere in the planet.
We, at KSB, believe that the election of Obama as United States President is not just a victory in the struggle against racism and discrimination against non white people around the world but also a huge psychological boost to non white people who have had to suffer the indignity of mental and psychological manipulation by agents of racism to reduce non white people to non-thinking human beings who are incapable of taking up positions of leadership especially in gigantic centers of power across the globe.
The election of Obama as President of the United States is a serious signal to the world at large that as members of the human race, we are the same and that it is important that this race unite to search for real and common solutions to problems facing the planet and the human race in particular because all human beings are born equal.
In congratulating Barack Obama on his historic election as the first Black President of the United States of America, White, Hispanic, Asian and other populations that voted for Obama forms part of the complex matrix that handed victory to this great son of Kenya. The African vote alone could not hand over victory to Obama. It is the united vote of Americans who were longing for change embodied in Obama’s message of change that made the big difference.
The election of Obama as President of the United States obviously triggers emotional feelings at different levels of the global support networks that have been following his two year campaign with bewilderment. Soon after the declaration that Obama had won the vote, some supporters were captured on video shading tears of joy as others went wild with ululations just before Obama appeared on stage to deliver his acceptance speech.
These sentimental scenes that played themselves over and over again were a collective statement that Obama had achieved a feat that was perceived only recently as impossible – the election of an African as President of the United States of America and consequently official occupant of the White House with massive political and military power at his disposal.
MAY THE MANTRA OF “YES WE CAN” SPREAD AROUND THE WORLD
At the psychological level, Obama’s election is a major boost to black and other none white people around the world who have had to live with the scourge of racism and discrimination especially in the United States and Europe where the general perception has been that there is a limit to the level Africans could rise within the established power structures and systems.
For white people who voted for Obama, a different kind of statement has been made – that not all white people are racist for how did millions of white voters endorse Obama for President of the United States if the country is populated by racists?
There is no denying that racists exist in the United States, some of whom even tried to assassinate Obama when he was on the campaign trail. However, the big point is that despite the racist tendency that surfaces in inter-racial societies from time to time (including Sweden), it is possible to fight racism through a united front comprising all races across the planet.
At KSB, we hope that Obama’s leadership at the White House will be dominated by efforts to pave the way for changes whose positive effects will reverberate across the world. The impact of Obama’s victory was not only felt in the United States. It was felt across the world and the implication here is that both political and economic decisions Obama will make as President of the United States will impact on other countries. It is for this reason that supporters across the world hope that Obama’s decisions will be guided by sound policies designed to make the world a better place to live in.
Once again, we say kudos to Barack Obama on his election as President of United States of America. Our congrants also goes to Michelle Obama who is destined to be the first African First Lady in the United States. Her support was key to Obama’s success and her role in the process cannot be quantified here at KSB.
May the election of Barack Obama as President of the United States of America inspire others after him to aim for even greater heights both in the United States and across the Globe. May the mantra of “YES WE CAN” spread across the world to inspire even greater deeds by people of good will across in the field of politics, economic, culture, science, technology and others. We boldly repeat: YES WE CAN.
Wakenya wenzangu, sometimes KSB is accused by critics of spreading propaganda but let us look at the naked facts that are readily available to everybody who has been in the loop before throwing a single stone.
Sometimes last year, an ailing Mr. Cheruiyot, a former Kenyan diplomat, escaped being kidnapped and deported to Kenya from his hospital bed following instructions by Ambassador Purity Muhindi. A woman Doctor was flown from Kenya to facilitate the kidnap operation because the Swedish authorities insisted that Mr. Cheruiyot was too sick to travel alone. At the time of the kidnap attempt, Cheruiyot’s property had been packed in a container while his family had been rounded up.
It was good news when it emerged that a group of Kenyans who were very upset by Purity’s inhumane behaviour managed to mobilize to the hospital and stopped Cheruiyot’s deportation. After the victory, the Kenyans rushed to the net to tell the world what they had done and every Kenyan had reason to be proud of the bravery and solidarity of these Kenyans.
At a political level, this was the moment of Hallelujah because some Kenyans who participated in stopping Cheruiyot’s deportation are countrymen who have been standing on the political sidelines since they came to Sweden. I thought that political consciousness among Kenyans in Sweden was on the rise ahead of the General elections.
To cup it all, a known opportunist who was in the frontlines was among a group of Kenyans who boycotted last year’s Jamhuri day in protest at what Purity had done. Nashon Mbugua and another group were demonstrating outside the Hotel where the Jamhuri bash was taking place and I took several pictures which were later featured at KSB. I called a Pastor at the Bagarmossen Church and I was told that with God, “anything is possible”. I just smiled.
For KSB, it was a moment of good propaganda and Purity was lambasted to the maximum. Then last Friday, Purity called a secret dinner funded by tax payer’s money and some of the Kenyans who attacked her for the Cheruiyot thing and who were on the frontlines were the same people eating Omena with the Ambassador. They were reportedly swallowing huge balls of ugali after making big othonjes (the hole you dig into the ka ugali with your thumb to scoop soup) as they chatted away the evening.
You won’t even believe what they were talking about. Eti “Yule Osewe ni mjinga sana…”, as they licked their fingers. It is reported that only Daniel Kottut, one of the Embassy bosses, was smiling at what Omena could do to people.
“Osewe has been like that. Just ignore him because he is always making noise”, another one was heard giving Purity advice as he requested for a bottle of Lauder’s whisky to drop a tot. “He should go home and practice politics instead of kusumbua watu hapa Stockholm”, another one threw in a word of support as Purity nodded slowly. Where is our community heading to with this level of open ulambaji?
“RAILA IS EATING WITH KIBAKI”
After elections were stolen in Kenya, a group of Kenyans spent almost two hours demonstrating outside the Kenyan Embassy to protest at the election theft and to attack Kibaki. The event was captured on video and you could have been there to watch patriotic Kenyans singing “Kibaki ameiba kura”. Some Kenyans who were protesting were new to Kenya-Stockholm activism and once again, the signal was that Wakenya had been pushed too much to the wall by Kibaki.
Purity was so scared that she reportedly went somewhere to hide from the demonstrators even though the demonstrators were peaceful. Kottut, who was to receive our protest statement, could not even step out of the Embassy because he was too terrified so police took the statement to him.
When the Embassy called the secret dinner last Friday, some Kenyans who were shouting anti-Purity slogans at the demo were the very people who were swallowing mbuta with her, bought with tax payer’s money. I understand that even githeri and mukimo was on the menu! One of them even put in a “political argument” to justify the swallow. Eti Raila is eating with Kibaki so…
These are the facts to ponder. If you confront these Kenyans to question them about their double dealing, they will begin to hit you below the belt. Eti you are very ugly and that even if you attend an “ugliness contest”, you will be refused registration by the panel because they do not want “obvious winners”. Another one will tell you that you are so short that when you walk along the road, you lean on the pavement! May be, we need to turn to Bargarmossen for prayers!
We have began the great count down at KSB. For Kenya, this is a special period when our great country is on the verge of producing the President of the United States of America. For Africa, it is a special period because an African is about to become head of the greatest Nation on earth. For Americans, it will be the ultimate evidence that the fight against racism has probably advanced to the highest level attainable in this century. For the rest of the world, Obama’s victory will be the ultimate evidence that “Yes. we can all make it”.
Obama is and will remain an inspiration to all supporters watching this historic moment unfolding before our very eyes. He is black, he is white, he is African and he is American. He started from simple beginnings and is heading for great heights. He is Barack Obama, the next President of the United States of America. Take it or leave it, the world is changing. Should the white House be renamed “Black and White House?” Go Obama, go… We are waiting for the swearing in ceremony: I am not quite sure how it goes but I am sure these words are there in the script: “I Barack Obama… as President of the United States of America… So help me God”. That is where we are at KSB unless the ECK in the United States tampers with the computer tallying process of Presidential results.
The African Boogy-makers invites Kenyans and friends to an African Bash at Sätra. This could be a good compensation after the community went without a bash to celebrate Hero’s Day. You have been told.
TIME: 21:00 – 03:00
PLACE:Red Line Disco Bar
SÄTRA CENTRUM T-BANA
Dj Tonny & Dj Spaxx (Sweden)
WE ARE SPINNING THE VARIETY OF OLD(CLASSIC) AND NEW AFRICAN MUSIC, THAT INCLUDES:
MBALANX, HIGHLIFE, HIPLIFE, BENGA BEAT, SOUKOUS, RHUMBA, AFRO BEAT, BONGO FLAVA,
MAKOSSA, MAPOUKA, BONGO DANSI, MDUARA, GENGE, ZOUK, KWAITO, AFRO REGGAE, JUJU,
HIP HOP, RnB AND DANCEHALL REGGAE.
FOR MORE INFO YOU MAY CONTACT US:
Speaking to KSB, Mr. Munene said that be believes that “Kenyatta day” should be recognized as “Heroes day” in honour of all Kenyans who participated in the anti-colonial struggle in our country.
He said that unlike last year, it was a mistake that the Kenyan Embassy in Stockholm had failed to organize an event for Kenyans in Stockholm on this important day although he added that he was celebrating the day in his own way.
“Last year was the first time that the Embassy organized Kenyatta day and it is disappointing that the event has been ignored this year”, said Man Nzoro.
According to the Kenyan, Kenyatta day is a day when the Embassy could have seized on the opportunity to educate young Kenyans in Sweden who know little about the day’s importance.
“This could have been done through speeches or presentations explaining what Kenyatta day is all about”, he said. He said that National days should not be reduced to food and drinks but should also be used for political education especially among the Kenyan youth.
Man Nzoro said that he was very disappointed that because of lack of attention, some Kenyans are no longer in a position to differentiate between Kenyatta day, Madaraka day and Jamhuri day.
He said that the Grand Coalition government should make it a point of instructing all Kenyan embassies to ensure that Kenyatta day is celebrated by Kenyans across the world as “Hero’s day” by organizing events to mark day.
It is official. There will be no Kenyatta day bash this year and there is nothing Kenyans in Stockholm can do about it because H.E Mrs Purity Muhindi and her deputy, Jenipher Awuor made a decision long time ago that this year’s Kenyatta day bash will be off the menu.
KSB has established that the official reason for this move is because “there are no funds” allocated for Kenyatta day but a source close to the Embassy reported that the main motivation is because Kenyans had boycotted this year’s Madaraka day that was held at the residence of Ambassador Purity.
Traditionally, Madaraka day, which is normally celebrated on June 1st, has had no official funds allocated to it from Nairobi but this year, the Ambassador fixed it. The same kind of fix could have been done for Kenyatta day even if funds were missing but because Kenyans had “misbehaved” by boycotting Madaraka day, Embassy bosses decided to “punish the community” by ensuring that the event did not take place.
The fix normally comes from funds allocated for “Entertainment” which is flexible and which gives Embassy bosses a lot of lee way to divert funds for whatever reason. It is from this fund that money is normally extracted to entertain VIPs at secret dinners and other related “eat tax payer’s money” detours.
During this year’s Madaraka day that was boycotted by Kenyans, a source told KSB that the Ambassador had intended to use the occasion to re-invent herself and to use the home environment at her residence to repair her tattered image following a series of incredible gaffes which have chocked some Kenyans like fish bones stuck in the esophagus.
Unfortunately, the event suffered a major and historic boycott that spiraled the emotive Ambassador into an enfeebling bout of serious depression that stupefied Embassy personnel including Jenipher.
The Embassy runs a hackneyed website which, nevertheless, it could have used to elongate to Kenyans on why this year’s Kenyatta day has been put on ice. However, it is understood that the bully lady diplomats believe that Kenyans here are so worthless that they don’t even deserve an explanation on the issue because after all “nobody will complain” apart from the traditional jeremiad from KSB.
PURITY’S STRATEGY OF COLLECTING CONFORMISTS
The Ambassador reportedly hates me like venom and believes that I am a “nut case” but if you ask me, I think she is a dimwit who should be serving under Moses Wetangula’s Clerk at the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, not swinging at Embassy corridors as Kenya’s Plenipotentiary.
There is a misconception at the Embassy that Kenyans in Stockholm are “dying” to be invited at Embassy functions. From KSB research, majority of Kenyans are too busy to bother about these invitations and the biggest reason for attendances in the past has been both social and patriotic.
Now that the Embassy thinks that Kenyans are hooked on these functions, some Wananchi are beginning to lose interest in them and the risk is that Jamhuri (which must take place Purity apende asipende) may also be boycotted.
“The issue is not about going there to eat and drink because I think all Kenyans in Stockholm can afford to eat and drink whatever they want. The issue, for me, is to show respect for our national days even if we are far away from home and to meet fellow Kenyans on these important days”, a Kenyan told KSB during a survey.
As Purity’s days at the Embassy continues to shrink, she has settled on a strategy based on collecting a few conformists whom she can call at short notice whenever she needs a semblance of Kenyan faces to show up when her bosses are in town.
A dinner with Kenyan VIPs without a “non diplomatic Kenyan face” could be spooky so Purity has a list of the “good boys and girls”. Mr. Martin Ngatia calls them Walambaji and after they are through, they go to the net and begin to talk about the “big shots” from Kenya whom they met. They even forget that the invitations were confidential!
I hope that our religious community are praying for Purity – to go – so that we can begin a new era! The failure to organize Kenyatta day represents a failure of the Embassy even if Purity and company believes that they are “punishing Kenyans” in Stockholm.
She is the main loser because she will not be able to get another opportunity for yet another cold “Kenyatta day” speech. This means that her last year’s Kenyatta day speech will continue to hang at the outdated Embassy web site probably until a new Ambassador is posted to Stockholm.
The Kenyan Ambassador to Scandinavia H.E Mrs Purity Muhindi has organized a secret dinner at her residence for a group of Kenya dignitaries currently visiting Sweden. The dinner will be held tomorrow Friday while it is the second secret operation by the Embassy with Kenyan dignitaries in a short period of time.
According to intelligence gathered by KSB, the Ambassador has invited a carefully selected line-up of Kenyans to attend the dinner. Sources say that the list consists of key Embassy sycophants (walambaji) who have been advised not to divulge any information to anybody about the dinner.
Both ODM-Scandinavia and Narc-Kenya Scandinavia are among groups which have been left out of the event although the two branches represent the Coalition partners in Sweden.
The dinner raises fresh questions about the secretive tendency of the Embassy when dealing with public officials on official duties in Sweden. Instead of exposing them to the Kenyan community, the Embassy has chosen a line of stealth as if these officials are Kings and Queens to be worshipped.
Among the dignitaries are politicians who should have been exposed to Kenyans here to give a first-hand account of the situation with the Grand Coalition, answer questions why Kenyans were cheated by the Kriegler Commission, why MPs have refused to have their salaries taxed, why IDPs have not been resettled and made to account on other issues. KSB is following the story and will update readers accordingly.
According to a recent KSB survey, 7 bouncing Kenyan babies have been born in Stockholm
since the beginning of the year while 4 Kenyan mothers and 2 Swedish mothers with Kenyan spouses are currently “heavily laden” with “Baby cargo” waiting to be downloaded at Karolinksa, Huddinge and Danderyd hospitals in Stockholm.
Interviews by KSB, visual calculations by “pregnancy experts” within the Kenyan community and estimates by “Kenya-Stockholm Pregnancy Observer Group” indicate that all the expectant mothers with Kenyan links will, most likely, download before Christmas. Massive preparations are underway and not even the gigantic crisis facing global capitalism appear to have affected preparations for new arrivals.
According to analysts who have been following the development of Kenyan tummies suspected or known to be loaded with cargo, majority of the actions which triggered the expansion of the tummies appear to have taken place last winter. For example, a cargo that was downloaded in June this year must have been “packaged together and squeezed in” last October while all December uploads and installations at various bed-rooms were downloaded last month.
Following the production of the seven babies, at least four have been “welcomed officially” into the world through house parties while another three are still waiting to be welcomed. Some babies are still on the waiting list because their mothers “downloaded recently” and they still need time to recuperate before they can be able to receive Kenyan crowds.
Both the arrival of the babies and the expected cargo before the end of the year means that the total number of Kenya-Stockholmers who will be added to the current population will shoot to thirteen, one of the biggest population leaps among Kenyans in Stockholm in recent times.
There are cases of “hidden or closed uploads” which are not included in the statistics because the couples involved have decided to remain at large. The implication is that the number of babies may be higher than 13 depending on whether you are talking about “open or closed” uploads.
In fact, the rate at which the ballooning process has been proceeding has been so high that some newcomers in the field of watoto production have been confusing terms and baby activities thereby causing a lot of indigestion to veterans who are now proposing the setting up of a “Consultative committee”, not just to address the gist of the confusion but also to provide direction in a complicated field where experienced actors could help new comers.
Since July, three “baby showers” have been organized in Stockholm for babies who have already landed on the surface while at least one “baby shower” is being planned for yet another baby who is already suckling her mother’s breasts and getting diapers changed.
The confusion is that those behind these activities do not understand that a “baby shower” is an event organized for an expectant mother and not one who has already downloaded. The idea of a “baby shower” is to prepare for the coming angel, not to receive the new comer. I once got an SMS to attend a “baby shower” at Märsta and when I inquired the expected period of the big download, I was told that “the baby is healthy”. While trying to avoid further embarrassment with new questions related to semantics, I promised “to attend” and, surely, the baby looked very healthy.
“EXPERTS” FOLLOWING “FAMILY TREE OF BOYFRIENDS”
In light of the above confusion, concerns are growing that new comers may proceed to confuse even more
matters that may have far-reaching consequences to the baby victims. In another example, a couple who had just arrived from hospital purchased the wrong type of supplementary food while in yet another case, a first time father who is used to attention from the wife began to have second thoughts about the future because the wife’s attention was all on the little thing in the house. This kind of father needs a psychological tuning because he is still growing up as a father. But that is the easy part.
Another problem is that there are babies who have been born but whose fathers are still at large or remain “Unidentified Fatherly Objects (UFOs)”. The problem is that this kind of situation has created a new kind of gossip especially among “Kenya-Stockholm Olympic gossipers” who could have earned gold medals for the nation in Beijing if gossiping was a game at the Olympics. Buzz one of them and then fly a topic and you will get more than you buzzed for.
This group, which has its meeting places at key “sitting rooms” in town, has been trying to analyze every baby born or scanning every swollen tummy to try and attach a “fire-man” who could be behind the new development. In cases where there is no “attachment”, they begin to go back into history to try and trace bulls who may have been attached to the mother (or would be mother) to try and come up with an answer as to who may have been responsible. It is at this point when things begin to turn spooky.
You will hear that the nose of the child looks like that of Simimi although the shape of the ears suggest something to do with Abarikiwe and things like that. In extreme cases, the analysis could take awkward twists – eti that kid does not look like he’s Kenyan. It is clearly having West African roots because have you ever studied the shape of the head? The answer, according to another MP in the ka-Parliament, is simple. It can’t be West African because the chick has never had a WA-BF.
The situation becomes even more creepy when the experts begin to follow the tree of boyfriends of the victim of analysis. It goes something like “she dumped Mapozi in February last year, got together with Clifford whom she split up with last summer because Clifford was pushing with Kabibi”. Then another analyst picks it up. “I think that the most likely father is Meja because Kachero saw them at H62 disco together this January and since then, she has been single”. For now, Meja remains the UFO until this diagnosis is overthrown by new evidence.
Why should the parentage of a baby disturb some Kenyans to an extent that they take their time to meet in order to discuss who is and who is not the father of this and that baby? Is this not a breach of other people’s privacy?
Anyway. The sudden ballooning of tummies is an indication that Kenyan couples in Stockholm have eventually taken a firm decision to multiply like other communities and to increase the population of the community which is important for future bargaining power especially in the field of politics. We have produced an Obama in the United States so why not get on the “Swedish Obama” Project?
If other communities are multiplying as the bible says, why not Kenyans? KSB sends greetings to all new-babied families plus those to come. It is a good demonstration by couples that love is not just in the house but that the bed-room bed is not idle either.
Nelly Musira, a Kenyan resident in Stockholm, has lost her elder brother in Kenya. You are invited to an ”Open House” at Nelly’s residence – Pålsbodagränd 11, 7th floor at Hagsätra. Main Prayers will be held on Saturday 18th October from 15 Hrs. Further info can be obtained through tel: 0762384406.
KSB sends deep condolences to the family of Nelly at this time of deep shock and sorrow. May they have the strength to go through this difficult moment.
The “Kenyan afternoon” came and went. It was attended by over 60 people, majority of them
non Kenyans. When I arrived, the place was already packed although I was the only Kenyan guest. At one point, I felt like a gate crasher until I spotted Tonny and Caroline. The food was sweet, cheap and Kenyan with Ugali and Mboga topping the menu.
It looks like members of Kenya-Stockholm community are in deep sleep on matters of culture and now, the Swedes have taken over to show them how it’s done. Chapatis, rice and dengu were present in plenty and what you needed was to squeeze 30 kr from your wallet and that was it. Just imagine arriving at a “Kenyan afternoon” bash and instead of the familiar faces on the social scene, you cannot recognize anybody although attendance stands at over 60.
After about 45 minutes, I recognized a Kenyan lady I had met at the pre-wedding although I didn’t dare ask
her whether she was also converted into an Odiangabuk when the main wedding was called. KISS agents (KSB Intelligence Secret Services) have reported that the matter is very sensitive and current policy at KSB is not to touch on it because “investigations are still continuing”. Meeting the Kenyan lady at the function was a small relief because the number of Kenyans had increased to three.
Then, Barry Owino and family popped up followed closely by Jasper “Wendo” and Man Opande. I kept on hoping that more Kenyans would turn up but unfortunately, the arrival of Man Opash sealed the fate of Kenyan arrivals. Barry told me that he read about the thing at KSB the same day it was happening, packed the family immediately and headed for Sundyberg because such an event could not be missed. The event itself was a very good idea and a big challenge to Wakenya. People were very friendly and you could speak to anybody.
I expected to see akina Albert Taabu, our famous Ngugi, Artist Bryan, Moses Trubadur et al taking over the
music part to show the crowd how it’s done. Instead, a cute blondie was on the drums together with a Latino and they gave the audience a “run for their time!” Haya!
We had Kenyan food and Kenyan drums beating in a cultural mix where Kenyans were missing in action. The audience was diverse although Swedes dominated.
Obviously, the event, which was organized by “Det Stora Knytkalaset” in conjunction with ABF ( an organization of the workers movement in Sweden), was well planned. The reason why the organizers could not reach Kenyans is because the community is disorganized with no functional organization.
The situation is so serious that to try and rescue the culture here in Sweden, ugali, mboga, dengu and other Kenyan delicacies are being prepared by third parties while Kenyan drums are being played by professional Swedish artists. The event was a big challenge to the Kenya-Stockholm community to wake up from stupor and organize.