August 26, 2014
August 25, 2014
Whichever way you look at it, the Wazee-Vijana Football match held about a week ago exposed a stark reality facing Kenya-Stockholm’s wazees that could have remained expunged from scrutiny. The wazees were thwacked 14-12. However, this defeat, with a margin of only 2 goals, should be deemed “respectable” and a sports critic could be persuaded to credit the wazees for having put up such a formidable resistance against the young Turks who, nevertheless, relaxed their tempo apparently to encourage the wazees. A report on the match can only be complete if the circumstances that led to the defeat of wazee are highlighted.
In the first place, many wazees who were expected at the match did not turn up and an investigation by KSB into the circumstances reveals a mix-up of both tragic and hilarious reasons. The failure of some key players to turn up for the match meant that the team was incomplete while wazees who turned up were demoralized from the start because they immediately understood that they were going in against vijana at a disadvantaged position. Why did wazee go missing at such a crucial match?
The first reason is that Kenya-Stockholm’s wazees are suffering from a series of conditions that makes it impossible for most of them to avail themselves at social functions. According to investigations, the biggest problem is that many wazee are suffering from a series of old-age ailments that have quietly forced them to retire from active social life, leave alone participating in a football match.
For example, Mzee Kobe told KSB that although he could have wanted to play, he is suffering from diabetes and he has to inject himself with insulin at regular intervals to stay alive. Together with his advanced age, running around in a football field chasing a tiny ball with vijana is the last thinkable activity that could come to mind. Consequently, he went missing although he did not want to make his absence clear because he did not want to demoralize other wazees. What about Mzee Dennis Afande?
He did not turn up because he is suffering from high blood pressure. One morning, he was going to work when suddenly he could not breathe. He was in the underground train and as his condition worsened, he managed to get out of the train at some station after which he signaled for a passersby to call an ambulance. When he arrived at St Görans hospital, he was rushed into the acute department and after all was said and done, he got back to his feet but was told that he had to go in for more checkups because his blood pressure was too high. The final diagnosis was that he was suffering from HBP and he was put on medication. When the football match was announced, Mzee Dennis was just entering into rehab to try and stabilize his condition. Under the circumstances, he could not participate in the match although he did not want to bother others with his personal health problems.
That brings us to Mzee Makopoyo who suffered a stroke last December. He was lucky because doctors told him that it was just a “mild stroke”. Following the attack, Mzee Makopoyo has been taking things easy because the stroke shocked him. When asked by KSB why he was shocked, the Mzee said that his thinking was that he was still a “Mzee Kijana” and that when he got the stroke, reality struck to the effect that the “kijana” in his “uzee” was actually an illusion because “vijanas” don’t easily get strokes. He did not show up at the football match because he was still “in meditation”.
If the case of Mzee Makopoyo is unfortunate, the situation facing Mzee Tobby Kaweza is just sad to say the least. He is quietly suffering from cancer of the spleen and this condition has removed him from social life. Makopoyo is on cancer drugs and a strict diet. He has been told that his disease is untreatable so what can be done is to slow the cancer down in order to prolong his life. He is 56 years old but he has had to take an early pension because his condition can no longer allow him to work. The cocktail of drugs has made him weak and participating in a football match with vijana is the last thing he can ever think about. He told KSB that when it comes to sports and other social activities he used to attend, he is a gone case. He is basically counting his days on earth and just begged to be left alone. This brings us to Mzee Alfonse Mashakani, a veteran Kenya-Stockholmer who has also gone underground.
Lost Touch With Reality
When KSB finally got him on the phone and tuned him “to talk”, he was surprised. He did not even know about the football match because, according to him, he has “lost touch with reality”. He is currently at Huddinge hospital after suffering a brain hemorrhage. For several weeks, he has been in comatose although at the time of talking to him, he was heading to rehab within the hospital. He told KSB that as a result of the stroke, he was partially paralyzed and that his greatest priority was to regain his health and evaluate what was left of him as he entered the sun-set of his life on earth. This is the sad reality that the football match revealed. Many of Kenya-Stockholm’s wazees are slowly wasting away as a result of diseases. Mzee Mashakani theorized that he suspected that his condition was a consequence of “over-working” and warned fellow Kenyans to take a break in their lives as much as possible to relax and to exercise.
As for Mzee Timbuktu, his absence from the match was not due to sickness. He had just hooked up with a Swedish sweetheart and that week-end was critical because he had fixed a date which he was not gonna miss because of some football match that had just popped up. He told KSB that after he divorced his Kenyan wife, he has been hunting for some white creature “to keep him busy” and it was not until recently that he hit the jackpot. He landed a divorced Swedish woman (almost of his age) and that for now, football can wait! What this means is that the match was lost, not because all wazees are sick but because there are others breaking new grounds. However, the next case of Mzee Dreams Kayole is unique.
He had planned to play on the material day but then a domestic crisis cropped up. He has been quarreling a lot with his long-standing Kenyan wife and he told KSB that chances are that they will soon be splitting up. When he told the wife that he was planning to play for the wazee team, the wifie took advantage of the situation and claimed that one problem she has with him is that he has wrong priorities. According to the wifie, instead of staying at home to be with her, he was planning “an outing” at some field in the name of football. A quarrel ensured and punde si punde, the mzee’s pro-football mood was totally messed up. He took a kinyuaji to cool down tempers but by the time he was calm, it was too late because the match had ended. He failed to show up.
Mountain of Flesh
As for Mzee Sarakasi, the explanation was hilarious. He is single and on Friday, a day before the match, he had been to some African reggae club. As the club was closing down and guests were sipping their last drops, something magical happened. Just from nowhere, a fat-assed, mountain-breasted, chubby faced and “meaty” white Swedish blond-haired and gigantic lassie in her forties zoomed around and kissed him right on the lips. Mzee Sarakasi said that he was genuinely stunned. The enormous size of the woman’s “fundamentals” is exactly what turns him on and he associated the whole surprise with “a manner from heaven”. Before he could say “bwaii!!”, the lady said that she liked him “so match” and that she has been watching him throughout the night.
A conversation started and as he begun to translate the romantic implications of the abrupt encounter, the lady asked him if he could follow her home for “an extension” of the party. Interestingly, the lady lived just around the corner, a walking distance. Sarakasi had planned to show up for the match but unfortunately, by saa saba mchana, the new couple was still in bed! When he made a calculation of the time and what he stood to gain from the football match as compared to the huge white flesh he was wrapped into, he decided not to mention anything about the match. He decided to consolidate the new find, dump the match and see how things developed. Mzee Sarakasi therefore went missing.
The wazee who attended the match beat all odds to be there. Despite their waning stamina and other circumstances, they are still fit and can run in the field. Kudos to these wazees! I will be talking about the vijana in the next installment.
August 23, 2014
August 19, 2014
August 18, 2014
Container shipment of goods to Kenya has just hit a new peak. According to the proprietor of Orkar-Inte Container Services, the next shipment will leave Stockholm for Kenya on Tuesday, 26th August 2014. All customers intending to ship their packages are therefore encouraged to pack their goods and send them to Okarinte as soon as possible. Customers who used the service during the last shipment reported safe arrival of goods, all cleared by customs.
For prospective customers who have inquired about the delivery method of packages to different destinations in Kenya, the answer is simple. Once the packages arrive in Kenya, the container winds up at Embakasi container deport in Nairobi from where designated recipients can collect their packages.
According to Clay Onyango, the proprietor of Orkarinte who spoke to KSB, the service does not include transporting packages to Nyalgunga, Lokichogio, Pandpieri, Kario-Bangi and other destinations in Kenya’s interior. The deal is that all packages must be collected from Embakasi in Nairobi.
Clay told KSB that although arrangements can be made to deliver the packages anywhere in Kenya, the service is still not available because of many complications. He said that the key obstacle to such a service would be a dramatic increase in shipping prices, a development which, he said, would beat the very intention of the service.
Secondly, Clay said that with extended delivery services, the risk of theft and goods getting lost along the way would be very high. “My Company does not want a situation where goods get lost on the way”, Clay told KSB. “At the moment, we can only guarantee that the goods will get to Nairobi and that they will be delivered to recipients without fail”, he said.
Once the container leaves Stockholm on 26th August, estimated time of arrival in Kenya is 10th October. Goods that are acceptable include building materials, electronics (including TV sets), furniture, clothes and an assortment of other goods.
For customers intending to send goods, the container will be parked at Frihamnsgatan 7 at Frihamnen in Stockholm from 22nd August to 26th August from 12.00 sharp. Customers are advised to call Orkarinte and book space to avoid last minute disappointments. The number to call is 0762103117 or inbox Orkarinte via Facebook. While booking space, clients will be required to make a deposit of an agreed amount.
The price list is as follows: A single normal moving box is 600kr no matter how many kilos it weighs. A 40-60 inch TV set costs 3000kr while a bicycle costs 1500kr. The safety of good is guaranteed once packed while all packages must be accompanied with a detailed dispatch list describing the content of any booked package.
August 17, 2014
August 17, 2014
KENYA GETS A NEW INTELLIGENCE CHIEF
2006 January 19, 11:28 (Thursday)
SECRETClassified By: PolCouns Michael J. Fitzpatrick, Reasons: 1.4 (B,C,D)
SUBJECT: Kenya Gets a New Intelligence Chief
1. (C) SUMMARY: President Kibaki’s January 16 removal of Brigadier (ret.) Boinett as head of Kenya’s National Intelligence Service (NSIS) removes the USG’s main ally in the counter-terror struggle and one of the few remaining true professionals at the highest level of the Kenyan Government. Boinett’s replacement by an untested Brigadier Gichangi — selected through a process that reeks of tribal cronyism and the use of all instruments of power to stay in power through (and beyond) the 2007 elections — is anything but reassuring. END SUMMARY.
OUT WITH THE OLD…
2. (U) Kenya has a new spy chief. President Kibaki late January 16 named Air Force Brigadier Michael Gichangi, previously the director of the National Counter-Terrorism Center, as the Director General of the National Security Intelligence Service (NSIS). Kibaki’s decision ends both the seven-year reign of Brigadier (ret.) Wilson Boinett, and
months of jockeying to replace him.
3. (C) Boinett transformed the NSIS from a domestic political tool into a modern professional intelligence service with an emphasis on external threats. A former aide-de-camp to President Moi and the last director of the Special Branch (NSIS’s predecessor, remembered darkly by most Kenyans mostly for running the Nyayo House political detention center during the years of one-party rule), Boinett survived not only the 1999 demise of Special Branch but also the 2002 end of the Moi regime. Recognizing that change was needed, Boinett’s leadership garnered the NSIS domestic and international respect for its relative apolitical nature and seriousness of purpose. Reorganized to provide internal, external and strategic intelligence to the President, NSIS proved to be the USG’s single-most effective Kenyan partner — bar none — in combating Al-Qaeda and related terrorist threats in Kenya.
4. (S) But, in the end, the die was cast for Boinett’s undoing at his birth: he was born into the wrong tribe. An ethnic Kalenjin like former President Moi, Boinett was distrusted from the start of the Kibaki administration by many of those Kikuyu tribesmen closest to President Kibaki. Boinett undoubtedly made matters worse by telling Kibaki and his advisors news they did not like to hear — that Kenya remains vulnerable to al-Qaeda attacks, that tribal conflicts were resurfacing in rural areas, that President Kibaki’s Banana team would lose November’s constitutional referendum, etc.
5. (S) The last straw, it appears, was the referendum. Boinett rebuffed efforts to reallocate NSIS resources to aid the Banana campaign (reftel). The Banana team did indeed lose, and by a huge margin. In recent weeks, Boinett was repeatedly refused access to President Kibaki — for the first time in his tenure.
…AND IN WITH THE NEW
6. (C) As fate would have it, word of Gichangi’s appointment reached Boinett and many senior NSIS officials as they — and Gichangi — were dining at the Ambassador’s residence with a visiting Codel from the House Permanent Select Committee on Intelligence. The NSIS officials — and a visibly angry Police Commissioner Ali — departed dinner “en masse” just as soon as was diplomatically acceptable. (Ali privately relayed he is concerned about the police’s future working relationship with the NSIS — as he himself has had no such working relationship with Gichangi during the latter’s two years as NCTC Director.) Gichangi began showing up for work at NSIS the next morning.
BOINETT’S WORDS TO LIVE (AND SPY) BY:
7. (U) Boinett’s farewell remarks January 17 to the NSIS rank and file received widespread press coverage. In a thoughtful and respectful speech, Boinett relayed what he called “five attributes of great consequence” for the managing and sustaining a robust intelligence service. What lessons Boinett chose to pass on to his troops speak volumes about the man — and his concerns for the future of the NSIS. They thus bear repeating.
8. (U) ONE: The government should continuously invest in “the character of their gatekeepers and its watchdogs.” TWO: The NSIS Director General “should have direct and unfettered access to the Head of State and Government. In order to earn trust, he has to do things right and the right thing without fear, favor or ill will. In so doing, he must be efficient, loyal and balanced.” THREE: “All men and women of the service must direct all their time and energy towards promoting and projecting that which only serves and informs the national interest. FOUR: The Service should operate within the law.” FIVE: The Intelligence Service is a national insurance for counterintelligence. Yet a balance has to be struck between the national security interests and international threats and challenges. Information-sharing with other nation states has been the practice from time immemorial. These partnerships will need to be maintained, taking into consideration mutual respect, national interests, international law and the nature of power and its influence in a globalized environment.”
9 (C) BIO NOTE: Brigadier Michael Gichangi is an ethnic Kikuyu, the President’s tribe which (along with the smaller, affiliated Embu and Meru tribes from the Mt. Kenya area) has an increasing lock on major power positions in the Kibaki government. Gichangi is reportedly close to both Cabinet Secretary Muthaura and former Security Minister Christopher Murungaru. During his just-concluded tenure as head of the National Counter-Terrorism Center, Gichangi fought tooth and nail against the creation of a Joint Terrorism Task Force designed to bring police, prosecutors and intelligence experts into a joint team. Relatively new to NSIS, Gichangi is as well-known for being a political operator as he is a military professional.
10. (U) BIO NOTE (Cont.): Gichangi was born September 9, 1958 in Kirinyaga District, Central Province. A Mang’u High School Alumni, Gichangi joined the Kenyan Air Force as an F-5 pilot in 1977. In 1982 he became an F-5 instructor. From 1986-1991, Gichangi served as a staff officer (planning) at KDoD Headquarters, Nairobi. He worked in a UN observer force in Iraq, 1992-93. He served as an instructor at the Defence Staff College, 1993-96 in Karen, Nairobi. From 1996-97, Gichangi served as a commanding officer of the Air Force’s Flying Wing. He then served as Commander of the Laikipia Air Base, 1997-2001, before being appointed chief of strategic plans and policy at KDoD Headquarters, where he helped draft the first version of KDoD’s “White Paper” on national defense strategy. He has spent the past two years as the founding Director of the National Counter-Terrorism Center.
11. (C) COMMENT: Boinett is just the latest of a series of competent professionals forced out of the Kibaki administration. Anti-corruption czar John Githongo left last year, frustrated at every turn. Chief Prosecutor Philip Murgor was sacked last May for similar efforts to pursue high crimes. And now Boinett, responsible for the transformation
of NSIS into one of Africa’s premier, and apolitical, intel services is shown the door. While Gichangi might surprise us, the methods involved in replacing Boinett with a Kikuyu widely expected to be a willing accomplice in responding to political pressures from State House — perhaps taking NSIS back towards the days of the Special Branch — is troubling. It is the latest in a long line of post-referendum appointments to let tribe trump talent. State House is increasingly willing to drop public pretense as those around President Kibaki angle to do whatever it takes to ensure they stay in power through 2007 — and beyond. Post has let State House know privately that, though this was purely a sovereign decision for Kenya to make, the choice of Gichangi, and the manner of his appointment, puts at risk continued success in our highest joint priority, counter-terrorism.
August 16, 2014
Today, Saturday 16th August, Kenya-Stockholm’s Wazee wa Kazi Football Team will be playing against the “Young Turks” at Enskede IP (Enskedevägen 115) in Stockholm city. The match, which has attracted massive talk within the Kenyan community in Stockholm, will kick off at 15.00 hrs. Hot in the air is whether the Young Turks will live up to expectation by proving their talents against the Wazees for the first time since the wazees hanged boots a few years ago.
The Turks are facing an uphill task because on the basis of the mountains of ugali the Wazees have brought down over the years (as compared to the Turks), the many Januaries they have crashed and the “veteran profiles” of some of the Wazees in Kenya-Stockholm’s football albums, the Turks will have to employ their latest “tichital” tactics mastered through Play Stations and other video games to challenge the Wazees.
It is a promising match which will see Jacob Opande between the posts with Mark Gaya, Dan Aroka and Steve Biko tackling the Turks at the backline. Mark Gaya is famous for having been the pioneer Kenya-Stockholm Football Coach in them days, an illustrious contribution from where the Turks picked the pieces to set up a formidable team expected to give the wazees a run for their money. It will be interesting to see how the Turks will go past sweeper Steve Biko who is known to be capable of “sweeping any moving object” along the way.
Wazee Strategies from World Cup
In the mid-field will be Mwaura Kajora and Don Clay Onyango. Despite the wazees having put on some weight as a result of the “nyama choma effect”, the extra meat that has found a home on the bellies of some of the wazees is expected to be of some advantage by adding extra and critical vertical gravity to propel the fat bodies forward as things get hot in the field. In preparation for the match, both Clay and Kajora have been lifting a lot of metal to keep fit. After three weeks of training, Kajora has reportedly lost 0.02 kgs (the best news for Kajora this summer) while Clay has reportedly developed “2 packs” as he works to fix the other four! In fact, Clay’s excursions in Brazil to watch the World Cup brought a lot of new strategies in the Wazee’s camp which the Turks will have to contend with.
The three key strikers namely Ofore, Joseph Goga and Steve Shabir are the men to tame if the Turks do not want to be Braziled. This is because Ofore and Steve have an inexplicable and unmatched ability to coordinate both in the battle field and off-shore. With the surreptitious and quick thinking Goga linking them up, the Turks manning the backline will have a daunting task, not just in stopping the coordination of thetrio but also in understanding how the combination actually works. In short, these wazees are agile, swift and unstoppable although it remains to be seen whether the many years ya kulea watoi, ugali, nyama choma na mashugli have eroded their speed. You will have to be in the field to be able to judge.
Talent from Märsta United
That brings us to the two goal-getters who will be expected by the wazee fraternity to deliver that ka punch called victory. Charles Otieno Owiyo aka Otie of Märsta United Amigos Pacheko Dala Pacho International Club in combination with Mzee William of Balozi Champions Kuteklezia Football Club are two dazzling veterans who might as well turn out to be the stars of the day. Whether or not any balls will pass through the Turk’s goalie depends on the two. Otie is very abrasive and, over the years, he has mastered the art of breaking through defences with ease. On the other hand, William has two qualities which will, no doubt waste the vijanas vibaya sana.
That is, Mzee William can jump 10 meters into the air while he has what the experts call “staying power”. The catch is that any ball flying 10 meters in the air around the goal area is a potential score and this includes all corners, loops and overheads. You really need to be there to testify to this. When he jumps, I guess the Turks will only have to stand there with their heads pointing the sky as they wait to see the effect which might be a score.
Secondly, William never gets tied and some Kenyans have postulated that he might have been running a lot of marathon in them days as a young Turk. The Turks should have been practicing round the clock to match his stamina otherwise they will be outflanked. Needless to say, there will be Makozewe who will be playing at the touch lines, recording every detail of the match.
As the curtains of summer closes down slowly with visible changes in the weather, the Wazee wa Kazi-Vijana football match will constitute the ultimate Kenyan evening of the year. Come with your drinks, choma and other edibles. You will be responsible for your own stomach! KSB has a tip that samosas will be up and selling at affordable prices and with so many 2014 Nyama chomazz already history, it could probably be time to come to a closure with this necessary event pitting the tumbo kubwas on one side and six packs on the other. It is a typical wait and see game!
August 14, 2014
Place: Lilla Wien "Little Nairobi"
Add: Swedenborgsg. 20
Pendel: Södra Station
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