Invitation to Judy’s Farewell Party: Furaiday: 31/07
Ms Judy Wangari and her Father Mr. Keegan Kagwe
Mr. Keegan Kagwe invites Kenyans, friends and well wishers to a Farewell Party of her daughter, Judy Wangari who is proceeding to LA, California in the United States to pursue her further studies.
The Party will take place at Älvsjö Badet on Friday the 31st of July from 14.00 hrs. There will be free Nyama Choma but drinks will be served at affordable prices. Come and let us get together. For further information, get in touch with Man Keegan at: 0762170866.
Man Keegan
Grand Nyama Choma: Free “After Party Tickets” from Capital FM
CLAIM YOUR FREE TICKET TO THE SOUND OF BLACKNESS STOCKHOLM GRAND NYAMA CHOMA AFTER PARTY AT SÄTRA!!!
Listen on-line to CapitalFM: http://capitalfm.co.ke for information on the upcoming Stockholm Grand Nyama Choma Festival hosted by Sound of Blackness.
Grand Nyama Choma: 1st August at Fittja Beach
Starting Thursday evening 7pm to 10pm Kenyan time; 6pm to 9pm Swedish time), listen on-line during the HITS NOT HOMEWORK show hosted by Eve and Soulo.
Details: http://www.capitalfm.co.ke/radio/shows.php?showId=14.
On Friday afternoon 2pm to 7pm Kenyan time (1pm to 6pm Swedish time) listen on-line during THE JAM show hosted by Maq & Hakeem
Details: http://www.capitalfm.co.ke/radio/shows.php?showId=4
How do you claim your free ticket to the Official After Party Hosted by DJ Otieno V? Simple:
1. Starting Thursday evening at 7pm (6pm Swedish time), send and email to hits@capitalfm.co.ke or Jam@capitalfm.co.ke with the Subject Line “Sound of Blackness Stockholm Grand Nyama Choma Festival”
2. In the email, also Include your First and Last names and your Location.
For example
Subject Line: Sound of Blackness Stockholm Grand Nyama Choma Festival
First Name: Joe
Last Name: Kimeu
Location: Stockholm, Sweden
Any other information or message is optional but please feel free to comment or give feedback to Capital FM.
3. Listen on-line to Capital FM. The winners will be announced on Friday evening.
4. Claim your ticket during the Nyama Choma Festival at Fittja Park in Stockholm.
Rules:
- You must send an email with your details to win.
- There will be one free ticket per email for the first 10 emails received.
- Tickets will be handed out during the Nyama Choma Festival.
- Your name will be given to the event organizers Safi and Ez Frank so that they can reserve your ticket.
- The contest will remain open until all free tickets are claimed.
In the meantime, Vqee, African Alicos and Africa Unitez will be playing live during the Grand Nyama Choma. For a peep into these groups, follow the links below:
Vqee all the way from Copenhagen
Details: http://www.myspace.com/vqeemusic
African Alicios
Details: http://www.myspace.com/africanalicios
http://africaunitez.com/
Activities for kids will include jumping castles an example is like the one in this link: http://www.jumpingcastles.com/
There will be a talent show open to the public. All are welcome to participate and showcase their talents.
As always, there will be tents for protection agains inclement weather, music and dancing.
Thanks
Safi and Ez Frank
http://Soundofblackness.se
Diaspora: Late Wendie Funds Appeal
THE LATE PERPETUA “WENDIE” MUTHONI MUCHEMI
The late Perpetua
The Organising committee of the late Perpetua ‘Wendie’ Muchemi who died tragically in a road accident in Stratford, East London, will be having a harambee on Saturday the 1st of August at St. Albans Church Hall, 1 Whitehorse Lane, London SE25 6RD at 4pm. For more details you can contact Mwangi on +447947781980 or contact the deceased’s family on +44208 2408108. If you feel you would like to contribute to these arrangements, the account details are listed below:
Abbey: Mr S Njoroge: Barclays Bank: Miss RW Mwangi, A/C no: 60366102; S/C: 206655.
Barclays Bank: A/C no. 66698750; S/C: 090126
Thank you and God Bless You. Let us join this family at their hour of need and give encouragement. Your prayers and support will be highly appreciated. God Bless You.
Raquel
David Weds Madeleine In Gävle
Last Saturday, 25th July, Kenya-Stockholmer, Mr. David Kamau, the eldest son of Pastor Beatrice Kamau, married Madeleine, a Swedish girl, at a colorful wedding ceremony in Gävle city (about 200 km north of Stockholm). The couple has been residing in Stockholm but switched base to Gävle. They left a trail of friends and contacts in Stockholm who cruised to the northern city to be part of the couple’s big day that was attended by over 70 people.
The newly weds
Invitation to the wedding was strictly controlled and only the “very best friends” of the Beatrice and Madeleine families were invited with wedding cards. Chief coordinator was Mrs Margaret Njihia, David’s aunt, assisted by a battalion of volunteers who were mobilized by the Wedding committee.
At the church, Pastor Beatrice was given the opportunity to address the audience. She gave a brief but moving history of her son David, how he left Kenya, his struggles in Sweden, his meeting with Madeleine and the couple’s undying love for one another which eventually drove them to tie the knot in front of everybody.
Madelien’s father, who wedded the couple (he is a Pastor) also spoke briefly at the Church about his daughter and some of the challenges they have gone through as a family. He said that he was happy that at long last, Madeline had found her soul mate and wished them well in their marriage.
After the Church session, guests were ushered into a well decorated Lokal where coffee was served, the wedding cake was cut and other consumables served before the newly-weds moved to a new location for the special wedding dinner. It is here that different speakers were given the opportunity by Mr. Laban Mberi, the Master of Ceremony, to address the audience.
The Mberi family is very close to the Beatrice family and it was not surprising that Mr. Mberi had won the ticket to preside over as the MC. Mr. Mberi’s Mom was also in attendance and she watched events quietly from a distance as her son, who had dressed for the occasion, took charge.
Among those who spoke were Margaret, Pastor Beatrice, the bride’s father, Mary Kamuiru, Kristina, Lars Asker among others. Margaret spoke about the wedding as an institution. She encouraged the couple to be tolerant with one another, respect one another’s views, devote time and attention for each other and to look after the young family the couple was building.
Mary Kamuiru talked about the long relationship she has had with the Beatrice family and said that she could not describe her joy for both David and Madeleine, a young couple who had taken the serious step of getting married. Mary’s son Steve was also in attendance. Lars Asker and his wife Jane sent greetings from St Klara Church in Stockholm and welcomed the couple to “the club”.
Once the speeches were complete, a new episode was introduced by Margaret who introduced Madeline to the traditional Kikuyu culture of womanhood. She had just become married to David, a Kikuyu, and she was handed over a Kiondo and shown how to hang it over her head while using it to fetch food stuffs for the family.
At the same time, she was supplied with a suka and given quick training on how to use it when she is in the kitchen preparing food, carrying the baby, spreading it on the ground as a temporary mat to sit on and how she would, at times, use it to cover her head when necessary. The kiondo had been shipped from Kenya for the occasion. It was a spectacular scene and the audience, which comprised of Africans and Swedes, followed the quick training on stage with keen interest.
Once the training session was over, Mr Jamlik Muritu jumped on stage to articulate another important aspect of the Kiondo which appeared to have been left behind. He said that in Kikuyu culture, the Kiondo is never handed over when empty but that it is normally filled up with goodies for the newly-weds.
He introduced “the envelope” dimension of the Kiondo process and the audience appeared to have understood his point quickly because earlier, some empty envelopes had been doing the rounds. If you are new, the envelopes are normally not filled with letters or cards wishing the couple everything in marriage but hard cash. Jamlick set the process in motion before taking his seat.
“Marriage is not a bed of roses”
Section of audience in Church
After the speeches, it was time to cut yet another cake that had been personally prepared by Mrs Josephine Mberi. KSB was told that it was a “Carrot cake” and it had all the ingredients which suggested a very personal touch especially on the finishing. Josephine took over from Margaret and took the couple through the chapters pertaining to the symbolic meaning of the cake.
She said that in a relationship, it is always important to “spice up things” because it’s not always a “bed of roses”. She pointed out that the cake was important because its sweetness was symbolic of both the sweetness in marriage and the sweetening ingredients which every couple needs to warm up the relationship when “the goings gets tough”.
She reminded the couple that there reaches a time in marriage when the uttering of the words “I love you” begins to reduce and warned the couple that by feeding one another with the cake, they were entering into vows that no matter the circumstances, they will always try to make the best out of the situation.
After her well presented argument for the cake, she led the audience in singing the famous “kata.. kata” song as Madeline and her husband rose to the occasion to cut the cake and engage in feeding themselves as the audience waited patiently for their turn.
Throughout the occasion, the audience would burst into Kikuyu traditional songs and this tended to amuse the white Swedes who were not used to songs such as “Werokamu”. The songs found their way into the Church, creating a new experience which the Swedes will, most likely, talk about for a long time to come – thanks to the wedding. The couple then took a break to change from their wedding attires into the Party gear to join a constellation of youngsters and their adult minders in an all night Party.
It was first things first. The MC, assisted by Mr. Makan Macharia, were the link men at the night boogie. DJ Sparks, Rapper JJ and his crew were at hand to provide the vibes that ensured that the Party-thirsty audience got their fill. Makan led the audience into the Champaign-spilling process with Mr. Mberi helping in cooling down the audience when they turned too wild and providing the much needed Party direction.
Once the glasses were emptied, the program approached its end-term that began with opening of the dance by the couple as the guests shouted with joy to welcome the new romantic union. Gradually, the light-intensity was reduced as couples began to sneak onto the floor, tightly holding their spouses and squeezing each other elaborately, sometimes kissing passionately.
There was no shortage of youths who were all smartly dressed for the big occasion. At the wedding, silky dresses knitted in sophisticated styles dominated the scene for the ladies but by the time activities entered into Party session, the situation on the “dress front” had turned into the sexy. As the “Party temperature” began to climb, wazee wa kazi could be seen leaving the scene one by one. The youths had taken over the dance floor with weird moves.
Speaking to KSB, Pastor Beatrice Kamau thanked all friends who attended the wedding. Among them were: the Laban Mberi family, the Martin Ngatia family, the Okoth Osewe family, the Tarus Mbugua family, the Jamlik Muritu family, the Mary Kamuiru family, The Hellen Opwapo family, the Makan Macharia family, the Keegan Kaagwe family, the Lars Asker family and the Wamonyo Lenberg family. Man Keegan was the chief photographer at the function and he did a fantastic job.
The Pastor also thanked Kristina, Moliny, Tarjar and Mr. Paul Kamau to mention but a few. The Pastor said that she may be unable to mention everybody and said that the solidarity friends showed to the family was immeasurable.
“On behalf of my entire family, I say thank you very much for having supported us and helping in making this day a big success”, she told KSB after she returned to her Stockholm base. The couple left for Kenya on Monday for their honey-moon.
Okoth Osewe
KSB Agents on Holiday
For readers who have been sending mail about different issues, KSB agents are on holiday. They are expected to start trickling back to work on Monday next week.
Okoth Osewe
Masumbuko’s Ex GF Seeking His Deportation
Lotta, the Swedish girlfriend of Mr. John Masumbuko, has told KSB that she has began a process to deport Masumbuko to Kenya. In an exclusive report, she said that she has officially divorced Masumbuko and that what remains now is for the Swedish authorities to begin the process of deporting the Kenyan back home on grounds that his marriage on which his residence status hinged has collapsed.
It is not yet clear what will happen because, according to our sources, Masumbuko already has a temporary residence permit. According to the Swedish law, a child has the right of access to a father and it will be interesting to see how the case will end.
Masumbuko applied for a residence Permit before his asylum application was dismissed and, according to Norman Kassey, a refugee lawyer who spoke to KSB, it is not automatic that Masumbuko will be deported to Kenya.
“If he applied for a Residence Permit on grounds of family connections after his asylum application was dismissed, then he could easily be deported to Kenya”, the lawyer told KSB on telephone.
According to the lawyer, Masumbuko may have had to return to Kenya to wait for his residence Permit even if his wife was pregnant but that this rule is only applicable if the applicant submitted the application while in the underground. Attempts to reach Masumbuko for comment were fruitless.
Okoth Osewe
Mike Osumba’s Mom Passes On
Mr. Michael Osumba: Bereaved
Mr. Michael Osumba, a Kenyan who has been residing in Sweden for more than 30 years, has lost his mother in Kenya. Friends, well-wishers and sympathizers will meet at the residence of Mr. Osumba at Axbyplan 66 in Rinkeby tomorrow Saturday 18th July for prayers. Mr. Osumba is currently in Kenya and the Prayer meeting is being coordinated by his wife Mrs Nancy Osumba.
KSB sends deep condolences to the bereaved family. It is with great shock and sorrow that we received the news of the passing of Mr. Osumba’s mother. May the family have the strength and courage to go through this difficult and trying moment.
Okoth Osewe
BN: Waki Envelope Opened By Ocampo
Boxes containing Waki evidence arrive at ICC
Afterwards, the material was stored in a secure vault, where it will remain. It will be registered and processed for analysis by the Prosecutor’s Office.
Envelope being opened officially by Ocampo
“There is a consensus that there will be no impunity for the crimes that have been committed,” the Prosecutor stressed, “this is the only way to prevent the commission of new crimes during the next elections.” he said. “The main responsibility now lies with the Kenyan government.”
The International Criminal Court is an independent, permanent court that investigates and prosecutes persons accused of the most serious crimes of international concern, namely genocide, crimes against humanity and war crimes.
Vumbi and Kasule Show at Lila Wien Today
Vumbi in action
Special July Lilla Wien Bar and Restaurant Present’s
the best Afro-Group in Sweden and Scandinavia:
Maestro Vumbi Dekula and Sammy Kasule.
Date:17-18 July 2009 (Friday-Saturday) from 21-01
Address:Swedenborgsgatan 20, Södra Station Pendeltåg
Welcome and dance with us “Soukous Mashariki na Kati”.
Diaspora: Kenyan Dies in the United States
We are saddened to announce the death of Robinson Awuor Onyango of All Nations SDA Church &The Arlington TX Kenyan Community. The Late Robinson Awuor lost his long battle with cancer and passed away on July 1st 2009. He expressed his will to have his body laid to rest at Nyawita, Gongo Location in Rangwe constituency (Homa-Bay District) – Kenya. His body is at D & D Johnson Funeral Home, Fort-Worth TX.
FUNERAL FUNDRAISER FOR THE LATE ROBINSON AWUOR ONYANGO
Saturday, July 18th 2009, 8.00pm
The Funeral organizing committee, All Nations SDA Church & his family invite relatives, friends, church members & well wishers to a funeral fund raiser to cater for the funeral related expenses and to enable his burial in Gongo, Kenya. The Fundraiser will be held this saturday:
DATE: Sat, July 18th, 2009, from 8.00pm.
VENUE: All Nations SDA Church, 3618 Roosevelt Dr , Arlington TX 76016
We also invite you to his memorial service which will be held on Sunday, July 19th,2009 @ 4.00pm at the same location: All Nations SDA Church. We look forward to your moral & financial support.
Please remember his family in your prayers during this time of grief.
For further information, please contact:
Rev. N Opado 214-632-9970
Eld. Sam Omullo 214-243-8908
Eld. George Osano 817-690-6749
Elly Nyaidho 972-223-0623
Eld. Steve Aseno 214-883-7716
Dr. Jane K’Onditoi 682-553-4728
Jane Ondiegi 682-365-9798
Dr. Paul Amimo817-691-3237
Eld.Edward Nyansimera817-233-1451
Wycliff Ikobe 817-903-5970
Sam K’Onditi 817-344-0047
Phill Ogada 972-971-4182
Dr. C. Thuita 903-561-2449
Benson Amaya 682-472-3042
Robert maisori 817-495-5103 7600
Risper Abrams 469-360-0009
Peter Isoe 817-343-8675
Sam Ogaga 214-927-4969
Joshua Okallo 214-296-7603
Eunice Ogana 817-692-5408
Jared Oyoo 972-815-9535
Directions to Fundraiser & Funeral Service: From Hwy 360S to I-20 west going towards Fort-worth. Exit Bowen, turn right. Proceed about ½ mile, make a right on Roosevelt, about 2nd turn to the left arrive at All Nations SDA Church. From Fort Worth, take I-20 East, exit Bowen. Turn left and proceed as above.
Ex-Girlfriend: “Masumbuko Played with my Emotions”
Translated from Swedish and edited by Okoth Osewe:
I still don’t believe that the person you call John Masumbuko (because that is not his real name) could do this to me. After fooling around with me for about one year, he has messed my life and then gone public with information about myself and what he did to me without considering how heartbroken I am. Since he is trying to communicate through this blog, I will do the same to tell my side of the story and to expose him.
Ex Swedish GF says Masumbuko is a player who manipulated her romantic emotions, destroyed her life and went to celebrate in public after leaving her pregnant
Masumbuko is a bad person who should not be given any attention whatsoever. He is a constant liar and I am very unhappy with myself for having been fooled for too long and having been too naive. However, I don’t regret anything because I fell in love with someone I thought was responsible and truthful. I am carrying his baby but now, I don’t care what happens to him because he is not even fit to be a father.
At 28, he told me that he has never fallen in “real love” before (even though he said he had met two girls) and that I was the first girl who had melted his heart with “true love”. Obviously, I didn’t believe him but he started doing some things which slowly brought me along. I have met boys and I know all these games about “babie I love you”, “you are so beautiful” and so on therefore I wasn’t going to fall for this cheap crap. There is something however that was different with Masumbuko.
He was black and I was curious because I have never been with a black guy before. This curiosity is common among white girls and my friends were really jealous when I fixed him. He is a very handsome guy and any girl can fall for him at first sight. He is stylish and well polished, something I liked so much about him. I was always comfortable with him anywhere we went. Most importantly, he is very good in bed. I had never gone through that kind of experience before and this too, hooked me up.
He brought to me another level of sexual experience that has never been known to me. Although I now hate him, I am not ashamed of giving him credit where necessary because this was the situation. These combinations came with promises that he would never leave me and that he wanted to be with me for the rest of his life. I had fallen in love before but I can say that he treated me differently.
Everything he did told me that he was “Mr. Right”. I got him a cleaning job through my uncle who runs a cleaning company and this made it possible for him to open a bank account. To thank me, he gave me his Visa card, saying that he trusted me 100% with his money. We would sit down and budget his pay and mine together and all seemed very fine. He gave the impression of a very open person. That was after he insisted that we could never play sex until we went for an HIV test because he wanted to be sure that he was not getting involved with an infected person. We both tested negative and that day, we had sex the whole night. He later told me that he hoped I wasn’t interested in him because of sex and I felt guilty because of my curiosity.
Soon after we started dating on a regular basis, he surprised me when one day, he went down on his knees in my flat and prayed to God for having blessed him by giving him such a beautiful and wonderful woman like me. He said that it was God who had arranged his trip to Sweden because God had a plan for both of us. He moved in soon after to live with me.
He said that he has been longing to have a girl exactly like me and urged God not to allow anybody to bring any barrier between us. I don’t believe in religion but I liked the prayers because it was me who was being prayed for under intimate circumstances. He is not religious either and sometimes I failed to understand why he would suddenly start praying for very small things.
He would, for example, pray for God for having kept us alive and safe during the day so that we would be together after he came from work. When I expressed surprise, he would tell me about the millions of people who had died that day, giving examples of Iraq, Palestine, Afghanistan etc. He would say that even in Sweden, people were dying and point out to everyday murders reported in the media to prove that anybody could die and that it is God who had kept us safe. There was no reason to argue with him because these prayers were harmless.
He was doing this when he knew he was married and when he knew he had a child he had abandoned in Kenya. I was very foolish to have believed him although I now think that I became “easy going” because while he knew what he wanted, I was completely unaware about his intentions.
As a human being, he has been very good. He is a very quiet person and talks very slowly. At home, he has been helping me with almost everything. He does the dishes, works the laundry, goes shopping, vacuum cleans the house every week, cooks food while he is very good in fixing the computer when it breaks down. I didn’t have to call friends to help me anymore. He has been very kind to me and he brought me up in the relationship to a level where I believed almost everything he said. What I didn’t know is that it was all games being played out with my emotions. This is what makes me very bitter.
I rarely told him that I needed something in the night because he would go out and fetch it if it was possible. One night at 11 O’clock, I told him that I was feeling like a Coca Cola and he took the night train and came back with a can of Cola an hour later because he loved me so much. This was Masumbuko, the player and it has taken a break-up for me to understand that he was playing with me.
Masumbuko’s “Second Prayer Answered”
He cheated me that he was a student at Stockholm University when he was actually a refugee. When I discovered his refugee card issued by Swedish Immigration authorities and confronted him, we talked about it and sorted the matter out. I forgave him and he promised to be truthful. I believed him when he produced some papers to show that he was a member of a human rights organization whose members were being killed by Kenyan secret police. He said that he cheated me that he was a student because he wanted to be sure that I don’t work for Swedish secret police who may have been trying to spy on him in order to dismiss his application. For him, it was just a matter of time before he told me about his refugee problems and that my discovery was slightly ahead of time.
After he convinced me that he was a student and I believed him, he worked his way and knew some university students. He took me to student parties and behaved as though he was part of the student community. That was before he moved in. When I recently asked some of his student friends what he studies, they said Masumbuko told them that he studies Economics although they did not bother to ask for any proof because what they wanted was his company.
On many occasions when I requested him that we meet other Kenyans so that I could get to know his Kenyan friends, he told me that he doesn’t know many Kenyans in Stockholm. One day in a pub, a guy came in who happened to know him and they spoke a language which I didn’t understand. The guy had a cup with a Kenyan flag on it so I could see that he was from Kenya. It’s him who taught me how the Kenyan flag looks like because I didn’t know. But when I later asked him who the guy was, he said that the guy is a thief who could duplicate my house keys without my knowledge, track me down and steal my things when I am at work. He warned me not to talk to the guy if I met him because he was a very good sweet talker. I believed him.
I was again surprised when we met another Kenyan at a reggae club (Mama Africa) and when I asked him about the guy, he said that the guy is a criminal who has been dealing in drugs and that he has been in prison four times. I never used to attend reggae clubs but he introduced me to it and it was good because the sight of other inter-racial couples at the club made me feel at ease.
Masumbuko warned me that the police follow the Kenyan guy everyday and that they note all his contacts so I should avoid him. He said that the guy was at the club to sell drugs and that he had been taught the habit by other drug peddlers. He gave me the impression that Kenyans are not good people otherwise how comes the only ones we met were bad boys? Now, I am questioning everything he ever told me.
Then, he told me about his brother he was educating in Kenya because his father had died in a road accident. He has been sending money to Kenya constantly and I have been very supportive. Recently, I discovered that the money he sends is to maintain his wife and child in Kenya, not for some school fees he talked about. I was devastated and felt used and stepped on like a door mat.
When I read the article at KSB, I got my shock. That his father is not dead and that all the good emails where his relatives talk good about me were written by him and sent through fake emails. He is not ashamed to tell the world how he fooled me. This is very cruel and I don’t understand how someone can do such a thing and then be happy to tell people about it. I don’t want to say that Africans are bad people because Swedish people also do bad things. But this is a very bad example of Kenyan people.
Then he told me that some times, he gets very worried that I would leave him. He drove me to tears by promising that he would commit suicide if I ever quit the relationship. We locked up our small fingers together and he gave me what he called a “forever kiss”. I couldn’t stand the thought of him killing himself and the thinking that he could kill himself because of me made me sick and worried some times. He kept on trying to persuade me to give him a guarantee that I would never break up the relationship. I did not know what to say so I asked him what he wanted. He delayed with the answer for almost a week and when I asked him why, he said that he was afraid he would shock me.
That was after we came from the immigration for questioning about our marriage. Eventually, he said that he wanted me to give him a baby as evidence that we were forever bound. I didn’t think much about it because I was myself “head over heels” in love and we had just become married so I accepted. I stopped using pills and shortly, I became pregnant. I joked with him that in Sweden, when a woman is pregnant, the man is supposed to wash her feet and he did it every day although the pregnancy was just a few weeks old. It was fun.
The day I broke the news that I was pregnant, he played it so well that we both cried with joy. He introduced a new Swahili word to the pregnancy (umebamba) which he used almost on a daily basis. On the prayer front, “God had answered his second major prayer” in the relationship. We went and borrowed a big bible from the Library at Sveavägen and put our hands on it as he prayed for 30 minutes for God to give us a happy future together. The only thing that kept convincing me that he was not a religious fanatic is his habit of drinking whisky. I now feel very stupid, foolish and simple minded. He took control of my emotions to play with them. It hurts to say the least.
I am very saddened that the baby thing was just another game. My parents are not racists. They don’t agree with the policy of open immigration and it is not true that when we visited my parents, my mother refused to shake Masumbuko’s hands. He is looking for sympathy and support. Masumbuko has destroyed my life and I am very sad that someone could do this and then tell the world about it.
Lotta Karlsson
“I Never Promised You a Garden of Roses”
Reading through Masubuko’s story obliged me to affirm that it’s not only Nigger-bulls who hijack spouses when the other partner is away. Though uncommon, there is a worse breed known as the hungry Swedish women thirsting for Nigger-bulls.
Once Black always Black
When I finished my first full marathon, I felt a deep sense of contentment. It was not just a simple act of training but proof that I had survived, that I had learnt valuable lessons and that I was re-discovering my own improved brand of happiness and satisfaction. That I had gone through all the phases of a bitter betrayal and I survived.
At 30, the last thing I expected was to find myself separated and living with my family in Nairobi. Just 5 years before, my heart was bursting with, what I thought, was unwavering love of my new found African fiancée. Like many women with high expectations and low patience threshold, I had entertained a simplistic view of marriage. I thought that love is all we needed to build a home together, bear children and live happily ever after. I was mistaken.
The reality was that we were starkly unprepared for the battle that would ensue – the bleak moments of silence, the subtle put-downs, the mounting irritations and the monstrous realization that just because I had taken a flight to Stockholm to live with him – my love – he would not suddenly metamorphosize into a strong and emotionally honest man I had dreamed of.
I didn’t escape the common phobia in Sweden-that I was a “paper searching girl”, just an opportunist and not a human being searching for love and affection. Irritably, this situation came from a man who had taken me from the hands of my parents, with all promises of love.
After several years together, trust was created. Like every other `Paperless’ person, I yearned for freedom: Freedom of speech, finance and movement. I had to return to Kenya to wait for my papers so I packed my luggage happily, hopping to join him in a short while after my paper problem was fixed so that we could live together happily ever after.
The weekend before leaving, I invited my `best-friend’ for a picnic at a near-by beach. She turned up in the company of a white Swedish friend and her daughter. After feasting, bathing in water and sand, I invited them for dinner at home. Little did I know that I had just hosted my competitor who would ruin my romantic future for ever. The emails and text messages that followed proved that my African X had fallen for the Swedish woman instantly. After a confrontation, they both promised to behave. I trusted them.
The promise was broken immediately I stepped out of Sweden. With all the freedom and space, he gathered all words and guts to convince the white woman that I left after a break up.
Like Osewe’s story on Masumbuko, this white woman had tasted Nigga-goodies before and she couldn’t avoid the temptation. Telling her to keep off was like telling a two year old kid to keep off from a jar full of cookies. She dug even deeper and it worked well. In fact, the least I expected was to be switched with a white Swedish woman. This was because my would be hubby talked ill of Swedish women and so, for me, the abrupt turn of events was very ironical.
Suddenly, it emerged that my “best friend”, whom I had invited for dinner, was to visit her family in Kenya that December together with her white Swedish woman friend and my X. Feeling a sense of pain and embarrassment that I could not bear, I took a stunning decision to run away from my problems.
I bought a ticket and landed in Botswana in the safe, loving and kind hearts of my brothers. But my problem was not yet over. I was haunted repeatedly, day in day out. Worse still, I dared not speak about my pain to anyone. Honestly, the thought of opening up froze my blood. I never wanted any one to carry my pain. They all knew how much I loved this guy. I knew that it could have been too painful for them too.
Bitter lessons and challenges of a new beginning
Being unable to talk about my situation was an addition to my problems because they kept enquiring about his welfare. I lived in a skin and skeleton love and it pained me a lot. What followed can make up a hilarious and poignant movie which could feature the white woman grazing happily in what, I had assumed, was destined to be my life time garden of bliss.
Separation, just like divorce, is an ugly word in the victim’s vocabulary. It smacks of failure, bitterness, broken promises and lack of effort. On the ladder of disenchantment, it pushes you up another rung and in moments of despair, separation or divorce invites you to doubt almost everything about yourself. It brings with it a wave of loneliness, a faint but constant sense of panic and the feeling that had you been a more supportive/stronger/sexier partner complete with `papers’, things might have acted out different.
Making a mistake is one thing and admitting the mistake to yourself is another. As I did my morning runs, I constantly told and re-told myself that no matter how bitter the betrayal, there are always positive lessons to be learnt. I worked hard in digging out the positives. It turned out to be a blessing to me and to my community.
My therapy of choice was not the usual one. I didn’t dissolve into another relationship but instead, I bought a real nice jogging kit and turned my legs and thighs into running machines. I made a promise to myself that no matter how many mistakes I make in trying to become a runner, an amateur in this case, I would celebrate my failures as potential triumph and my triumphs as something to be lauded.
Not surprisingly, and as a novice marathoner, I made all classic and bad choices. I ran without stretching, ran too fast, burned out quickly and bought second hand shoes that were not compatible with my feet. But, as I got used to muscle cramps and went through other experiences, I saw my new found hobby as a challenge than as a failed experiment.
I took advice from experienced runners like Paul Target and made weekly rehearsals. I learnt the difference between “tempo running”, “cross-training” and “interval running”. Slowly, but surely, my whole self corresponded with my desire to run. I sweat out all my past and began a new and interesting chapter of life. Looking back, I truly thank God for the turn of events. Honestly, I had jumped down a cliff that was too steep to climb back to the top.
Finishing my first marathon was a big achievement. I knew for sure that though I was no longer engaged romantically, I was still intact. I was no longer in denial but in recovery and that I was no longer ignorant about how important it is to nurture budding desires with a little extra care. I understood how important it is to follow inner-self instinct to the end. How important it is to let closing doors close without a bang and how to let others open other doors softly and silently.
I learnt how important it is to respect and practice self love. I learned to love myself unconditionally and to never let anyone come between myself and my ambitions. I had denied myself too much love. I just gave it all and got very little if not, nothing. I learned to smile, just a smile, even if my whole self was breaking down.
I realized that the most important element in life is to dream and never to stop dreaming until the dream is born to become reality. I leant that in life, there is no such thing as a high hurdle that you cannot jump over if at all you are willing to jump. Life will always bring forth your desires. But, the big challenge is how high you are willing to jump outside your known comfort zone. My X was so unapologetic because for him, he never promised me a garden of roses when he took me from my parent’s hands but thank God because I have moved on.
Shiku Steve
Butt Business: Bush vs Obama
George W Bush: Giving butts a real treat
Just in case the above was a coincidence: The real butt watching with security in background
Was Obama Checking Out this Girl’s Butts
The photo has been doing the rounds since yday but what does the video clip say? Have a look below
Strange White Stuff: Monitoring Spouses
SUNDAY SPECIAL:
Fall in love with a white male or female and you are probably in for 24/7 monitoring. A white
Monitoring in progress
girlfriend will ensure that she knows where you are and what you doing round the clock. When you are at work, she could call (on a daily basis) to know when you are coming home. She could begin by trying to find out how things are going at work but the hidden purpose could be to determine your estimated time of arrival home. Definitely, there are whites who have abandoned this kind of monitoring but the majority still do. If the relationship is new, the monitoring could be more intense.
The situation could be much more serious in case you intend to detour to Vasa or another hole after work and you didn’t plan it in advance. Apart from trying to establish your “road map” back home, she may also be interested in whose company you are going to be, what you are going to do, how long you expect to be there and the exact time you are expected back in the house to give her attention. The very act of leaving your spouse at home because you are drinking with your friends in the pub could be very strange to a whitie.
In dark-skinned cultures, you don’t always have to tell everything about your schedule to your spouse because the general rule is that anything can come up in the space of time and even if you were scheduled to return home immediately, you can still detour without a major problem arising. But not always so with a white spouse.
The mobile phone is an invention that has helped the white spouse keep track of his or her partner with precision. If you can’t answer the phone for some reason, the whitie will send an SMS and advise that you get in touch as soon as you get the message. Taking the case of a white girl as an example, the more you don’t communicate the more she could call and leave all sorts of messages in your machine. The messages could be coated with emotion depending on the seriousness of the situation.
In fact, not calling or texting to tell a white spouse that you will be unable to answer the phone for some reason could lead to a deep romantic crisis. This is because for the whitie, making an alert about a possible breakdown in communication should be something of a priority when you are in a relationship. In fact, communicating should be simple because it takes less than a minute and, under the circumstances, there may be no other plausible explanation as to why you could not communicate especially if you claim to care, more so, if you claim that you love the blondie.
If you want a new cell phone, say that you cannot communicate properly because your current phone is defective. If you have no cash, you can be sure that the white spouse will look for money to fix a new phone as a matter of urgency because he or she cannot afford to lose track of you because of some defective mobile phone that can be dumped and replaced even if purchasing on credit.
If the new mobile comes and you claim that it’s too complicated (it could happen with a smart phone you have never handled), be ready for a step by step lesson on how to use it no matter how long it takes. If you are lazy in reading manuals, the whitie will take the lead and understand the phone so that you can be taught how to use it. White people never want to leave anything to chance especially things they care about.
You could be in a “Paper love” which means that your heart may not actually be in the thing but for her, every minute you are away, she may be feeling “love sick”. At the end of the phone lesson, the whitie will test and confirm that you can make a call and send an SMS. From then onwards, don’t give further excuses based on the phone if you want to avoid a crisis.
Keeping track of their spouses is regarded by whites as part of the love process which also has it that once someone belongs to you, you have a right to know everything about that person. This includes searching the person’s pockets when he or she comes home and checking the mobile phone to monitor SMS messages. It could be normal for a white person to just ask you for your phone to go through the information contained in it or just pick it up when you are watching TV and check it out. But that is not all.
“I love you darling”
A white girl could even call contacts on your phone book without your knowledge as part of the meticulous monitoring process and if you cannot cope with this kind of behavior, don’t engage a white spouse. You can be sure that if there are female names on your phone book which the whitie does not recognize, she will call these numbers one by one to say that “I am the girl friend of so and so and I am calling to find out who you are because I got your number in his phone book and I don’t know you” or something like that. That is how bad the situation can get.
The same case applies to the man. In dark-skinned cultures, this could amount to unnecessary spying, violation of privacy or undue suspicion. The whitie will do the monitoring even if there is no suspicion of cheating because it is perfectly normal for her to know your friends.
If you picked up the phone number of some girl in the pub, the rule says that you should also have told her that you are in a relationship. If you didn’t and the whitie happens to call the girl who then tells her that you met in the pub, it is normal for the whitie to ask the girl whether you told her that you are in a relationship. If you didn’t, you could be in shit.
The problem is that once you fall in love with a white person, you might discover that you have to give away your privacy in terms of time you can spend alone, with friends or work mates. As part of the monitoring, the whitie may insist that she follows you almost everywhere possible. When in love, they are very possessive while they like to advertise the fact that they are hooked to someone.
The strict monitoring of their spouses is responsible for hundreds of break ups in white-black relationships because when it comes to dark-skinned cultures, a man’s manhood is also based on his ability to have freedom to control how he spends his time even if he has a spouse or if he is married. Not so with white people who will never understand this.
If you want to interest the white lassie (especially when you are making paper), tell her that you like the way she is monitoring your movements because for you, it is a sign that she loves you. Say something like “whenever you call to find out when I am coming home or what I am doing, I feel that I belong to some one so keep it up sweetie”.
She will most likely giggle with joy if not intensify the monitoring. Don’t be surprised if she says that you are very special even if you are not doing anything special. If you are away, every phone call might end with “I love you” and you have to say “I love you too”, sometimes adding the word “darling” or “sweat heart” at the end. Regular “you are my sugar” kind of expressions should be in your note book because they make her feel secure.
If you are having a “cold one” with your fellow nigger and he ends the phone with “I love you too”, you automatically know that he is in a relationship with a whitie because many Africans to not make such exchanges with their African spouses who only hear about “baby I love you” in Jenipher Lopez songs. When you have been away and you get back to base, make sure that the first thing you do when you come into contact with her is to kiss her on the lips and say something like “I have missed you darling” even if you haven’t. If possible, do the kissing on the door way. It is the practical evidence that you were really missing her.
If you had a serious exchange on the phone about always meeting your friends at short notice and you know that there is an argument waiting when you hit base, try to fix some flowers to be handed in immediately you arrive then make sure you apologize. You might get away with it by making a new promise.
If you will be late unexpectedly, don’t forget to call and make sure that you are not late for more than one hour because that is a very long time which needs to be planned well in advance.
There could be problems with traffic or the train might have been terribly late but the point is that you should call and say so. Depending on the “age of the relationship”, keep the girl with regular updates on where you are during the period you are late. “Sweat heart, the train is now moving and I should be home in about fifteen minutes” kin of updates keeps her cool.
The more you get together, the more you will get to understand the level of monitoring by your spouse. When you are about to arrive after some lateness, call and say that you can’t wait to see her. She will be hooked for some time. Monitoring is more intensive when you are in a new relationship or if the relationship shows signs of stress.
This is a general view of the “culture of monitoring” of spouses by white people. The situation may be different in different relationships and the case may not apply for all white people so don’t blame me. The article does not also suggest that Africans do not monitor their spouses as such. The main focus is on the intensity.
Okoth Osewe
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