Strange White Stuff: Kissing In Public
To white people, kissing in public appears perfectly normal, romantic and cool. Kissing in public enables white people to demonstrate and exhibit romantic love, a precious commodity which, to millions of white people, everybody around needs to know about in as much as the situation allows.
In the underground
But to darker skins brought up in non white cultures (forget about black skins in white masks), kissing in public is strange, abhorable, repugnant, stale and even insane. It is disgusting to say the least.
Just like white people, dark skinned people believe that kissing is a very intimate activity from the point of view of romance but the difference for many non whites who oppose kissing in public is that romance is something you try to keep between yourself and your partner by privatizing it. In other words, it is not something for public consumption.
When a boy kisses a girl or when a man kisses a woman, there is the ubiquitous feeling of passion and helplessness in the face of romantic love which many dark skinned people would not like anybody else to witness, more so at a public place.
Just look at the faces of a couple kissing in the train or in the bus and you will agree that it is a moment of great helplessness especially when the couple stares at one another with love spread all over their faces. The argument from cultures in the opposition is that why should strangers have access to this very intimate activity or passionate moment?
For dark skinned people, a moment to express romantic love and affection is a precious moment which strangers should not get access to, leave alone witness unless you are kissing at the Alter and for that one moment in front of witnesses when you make vows and say “I do”. But to white people, there is no big deal in kissing in public.
The white lover will kiss and even release the familiar sound when the lips are sucking deeply into one another as the tongue engages in a mutual exchange of sweet love, exploring the mouth and its environs. In such situations, the white couple kissing tend to forget about the presence of everybody else, assuming, for that moment, that the environment belongs to them and them alone.
To non whites who have to sit there and absorb the activity with all its detail, kissing in public smacks of disrespect of other people if not arrogance. But fellow white people do not see it that way. The couple thinks that it is their romantic right to kiss in public and that whoever doesn’t like it can just pack up and move to another location or go to hell.
Take passionate kissing in the underground train station or at the local bus stop and look at how white people in the vicinity behave. You got it. Whites will not even try to bother, look at the couple or react in a way that could suggest that they are not OK with the activity. Why? Because it is part of white culture to kiss in public.
The whites will continue to be buried deeply in their books or newspapers or just look away when another lassie’s lips are being sucked by a hungry mate dying with unlimitted passion. In the train, the kissing could go on and on until the couple arrives at their destination. For the real dark skinned, this is not just strange. It is evidence that white people are debased, immoral, uncouth and uncultured for how else can you do that in public?
To dark skins, kissing in public could be embarrassing
In the bus
Of cause, you could understand if the kissing is taking place at a public pub or disco. Then, it is possible to assume that the couple is inebriated. This is not to suggest that kissing in public is wrong per se. My point is that it is strange or even repugnant from the point of view of other non white cultures that regard love as confidential.
Look at it this way. Dark skinned people find it even difficult to hold the hands of their girlfriends or wives in public because they are embarrassed that they are displaying love in public.
But for the whites, the opposite applies. Love is something you need to display. If you are black and you can’t hold the hands of your white girlfriend or wife in public, the white man or woman will begin to doubt whether you love him/her. In fact, you might even be dumped. Depending on the severity of the situation, talk might even begin to go round that you may be seeing someone for why can’t you kiss in public to be seen by people that you are in love?
However, a dark skinned woman might not care whether or not you kiss her in public as long as she believes that you love her. Some African contacts have theorized that the reason why white people have to kiss in public is that the male needs to compensate for his inability to satisfy the white woman in bed. I do not know whether this is true or false and it is white people who might have the authority to talk about this.
On the black side of things, the man does not need to hold hands with his woman in the streets as long as she gets her thing on bed. If you pump her well, she might not be interested in kissing you in public or holding hands because she knows where she gets her thing – in the bed room. In fact, some Kenyan couple’s never even want to be near their spouses in public and this behaviour is accepted.
Another theory which has not been proven is that white people are so emotionally weak that kissing in public helps them to cope with emotional imbalances. If you are white and you are in love with a real darkie, avoid kissing in public. This will increase your chances of maintaining the relationship.
In fact, if you kiss a darkie in front of his or her dark friends, it is sometimes interpreted as a signal that the darkie has been “conquered” to a level that he or she has lost morals. Some people might even think that someone “is making papers” and that the relationship has nothing to do with love. Simply put, kissing in public is something always regarded as an embarrassment on the part of the darkie so just slow down.
Okoth Osewe
Related:
Kenya Should Act On Migingo Conflict
The grapevine has it that Uganda recently established that there are vast quantities of high quality commercial-grade oil and gas in Lake Victoria around Migingo Island. The oil in Migingo is supposedly of a much higher quality than that in mainland Uganda! That is why it has annexed the island and the area around it the way Nigeria did the resource-rich Bakassi peninsula, and the 1600 kilometre-long border area between Cameroon and Nigeria, extending from Lake Chad to the Gulf of Guinea. It took Cameroon 35 years to get its territory back through legal means. And till today Nigeria still has not vacated fully.
Migingo
Oil or no oil, I don’t think Kenyans like myself are ready to serve legal papers on Uganda in an international court and wait for generations as lawyers outmonouver each other with legalese on such a straight forward issue. Migingo and its environs are Kenyan territory. Even Kibaki’s concession that experts should look at the maps was a negation of Kenyan sovereignty and an act of high treason by non other than the man who swore himself in at night as President of the Republic of Kenya (read the Third Governor of the Kenya Neocolony), and yet he has no clue how to run a cattledip. It is third parties or Uganda who should wax cartographical about maps and compasses. Hapana sisi wenye mali!
Now, though it is against Kenyan Law to raise a militia, this Migingo affront calls for a people’s militia to arise and do the necessary to defend our country’s integrity, since the government is not going to act as it should with economic blokades and surgical military strikes. We are told that Uganda is our major trading partner (trading with Kenya or the homeguards?), so what? Are we going to play second fiddle to those who have money? The Artur brothers were supposed to have brought us loads of money as investors and the Horrible Kibaki made them Police Commissioners…. Are we going to sell our motherland the way we have sold our parastatals?
Anyway, Kenyan citizens in Busia and Teso have no time for Ugandan arrogance and can be mobilised at short notice to impose an effective Road and Rail embargo on Uganda. Ugandans don’t mess around with us.
Are there any like-minded people on this listserve who can help organise a public forum at which we shall serve Kibaki notice to take action on Migingo or be kicked out of office? Kwani yeye ni nani to undermine our soverignty? He can get away calling us mavi ya kuku or being sworn in at night because both are temporary irritants, but not doing an irreversible act as peeing on our sovereignty by allowing even an iota of our country to be annexed…
Look at the resources America deployed recently to rescue one citizen from the Somali pirates!!! It did not matter that the pirates were four teenagers armed with light guns! Naval destroyers and helicoper gunships were deployed, and highly skilled SEALS were parachuted into the theatre to make nonesense of the nononesense situation. What mattered to Americans was that one of their own was facing imminent danger, and their sovereignty was being challenged. The lesson is that you do not negotiate or appease bullies as that only makes them bold, to demand bigger things.
Decades ago Great Britain sailed half-way around the world to kick Argentina in the teeth over the Falklands! When Idi Amin annexed Kagera in Tanzania, Nyerere did what a commander-in-chief does – he not only kicked him out of Tanzanian territory and out of power in Kampala, but he lost his own son in the process who was shot down bombing Amin’s troops. He did not keep his own out of harm’s way as he sent other people’s children to their deaths as some selfish and cowardly leaders in this country do when calling for mass “acsion”.
It is nightmarish to imagine that Ugandan boyscouts are impishly flying their flag over our territory as our soldiers nap away in their barracks, simply because they have a eunuch for a Commander-in-Chief. Please excuse my language but, as John Garang used to say, “we cannot have a law society in a war society!” On many ocassions Ugandan troops have bombed our people in northern Kenya and suffered no consequences, not even just kicking their ambassador out until they learn some good manners. This has made them bold to the point they are now annexing a strategic part of our territory with demonic abandon.
And as all his is happening, all our forests are gone, including Mt. Kenya, and rivers and lakes are drying up across the country. The Kshs 10 trillion per annum economy of our exclusive economic zone in the Indian ocean is dominated by foreign fishing fleets while we don’t have a single deep sea fishing unit worth the name. Why, for example, couldn’t we even use the 400 million assigned the Ministry of Fisheries in the last budget to dig ponds in my home province Western, to pay a deposit for a proper fishing vessal so we could catch the wild fish and not struggle growing some in ponds? No wonder we get 94% of our 70 metric ton fish from our 6% share of Lake Victoria and only 4% from the Indian Ocean, yet the annual yield of fish from our Indian Ocean waters is 200,000 metric tones! This fish is caught by foreigners!!! Why can’t we deploy Mungiki, Sungu Sungu, SLDF, etc. to catch these stocks of fish? WHY? WHY? WHY? Why are most of our resources being abused as poverty ravages and reduces us to wild dogs who kill each other over left overs? WHY? WHY SHOULD MUZUNGUS COME FROM NORWAY AND SPEND SIX MONTHS FISHING AND EXPORTING FISH NONSTOP AS WE WATCH IN AWE ON THE SHORELINE WITH FISHING RODS???
WHAT A DISISTROUS PECKING ORDER!!!
Over to you!
Omtatah
Kenya: The Home of “Mabenzi”
By Aidan Hartley
“Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a Mercedes-Benz,” prayed Janis Joplin, and the Lord obliged. With or without divine intervention, the late Pope had one. So does the queen. Mao Zedong had 23 Mercs, Kin Jong-il owns dozens, Hitler, Franco, Hirohito, Tito, the Shah, Ceausescu, Pinochet, Somoza, Saddam – they all swore by Mercedes. Saddam Hussein liked them so much he probably had shares in the company.
These days, the man who has been doing more than the Lord himself to buy a Mercedes-Benz for the leading creeps of the world is Bob Geldof, the spur to our global conscience. Africa’s leaders cannot wait for the G8 leaders – hectored by Bob and Live 8 into bracelet-wearing submission – to double aid and forgive the continent’s debts. They know that such acts of generosity will finance their future purchases of very swish, customized Mercedes-Benz cars, while more than 300-million poor Africans stay without shoes and Western taxpayers get by with Hondas. This is the way it goes with the WaBenzi, a Swahili term for the Big Men of Africa.
The WaBenzi are a transcontinental tribe who have been committing grand theft auto on the dusty, potholed roads of Africa ever since they hijacked freedom in the 1960s. After joyriding their way through six Marshall Plans’ worth of aid, Africa is poorer today than 25 years ago.
Let us take Zimbabwe, where millions of people are starving, 3,000 die weekly of AIDS and life expectancy has fallen to 35 years.
In Robert Mugabe’s recent address to Zanu-PF’s central committee, he called, for “clean leadership,” condemning “arrogant flamboyance and wastefulness: a dozen Mercedes-Benz cars to one life, hideously huge residences, strange appetites that can only be appeased by foreign dishes; runaway taste for foreign lifestyles, including sporting fixtures, add to it high immorality and lust.”
He is clearly talking about the WaBenzi, and their preferred version of the marque, the S600L, a long-wheel-base limo with a monstrous 7.3-litre V12 twin-turbo-charged engine. It’s as powerful as a Ferrari and 21-feet-long. Basic price $204,000 but extras could be $545,000 more.
Mugabe’s own S600L was custom-built in Germany and armoured to a “B7 Dragunov standard” so that it can withstand AK-47 bullets, grenades and landmines. It is fitted with CD player, movies, Internet and anti-bugging devices. At five tonnes it does about two kilometres per litre of fuel. It has to be followed by a tanker of gas in a country running on empty. Mugabe has bought a car pool of dozens of lesser Mercedes S320s and E240s for his wife, vice-presidents and ministers.
Just as the “Wind of Change” swept Africa in the 1960s, Mercedes produced the stretch 600 Pullman, a six-door behemoth with a 6.3-litre V8 engine. For Africa’s new top dogs, it was love at first sight. The WaBenzi were born. Idi Amin snapped up three, Jean-Bédel Bokassa more when he crowned himself emperor of the Central African Republic. Zaire’s Sese Seko Mobutu bought so many that he kept six for his summer house on Lake Kivu alone. Liberia’s Sergeant Samuel Doe splurged on 60.
I asked the veteran trans-Africa rally driver Anthony Cazalet what it was like to drive the old Pullman. “You don’t drive it, your chauffeur does,” he said. “Look, it’s a Queen Mum of a car: gentle, smooth, quiet; growls when necessary. Huge amounts of legroom and enormous seats for very big bottoms.” Cazalet once took a friend’s Pullman for a spin in Nairobi. “I floored the throttle and the old girl pulled up her skirt and let rip. Everybody in the car was screaming.”
Of course, not all Africans who own Mercedes are WaBenzi. Thanks in large part to anti-state corruption drives by the World Bank, a middle class of hard-working, talented entrepreneurs has emerged in Africa in the last two decades. They want to buy quality cars for the same reason successful Westerners do. As one Kampala businessman says, “I am a serious person and I want that to be portrayed even through the car I drive.”
But the WaBenzi prefer the traditional way of getting someone else to buy your German-built machine.
Take, for example, Malawi’s “Benz Aid” scandal. In 2000, Bakili Muluzi was hailed as a paragon of African “good governance” after President Hastings Kamuzu Banda died. The Economist rated Blantyre as the best city to live in in the world. Malawi’s government celebrated by buying 39 top-of-the-range S-class Mercedes for $3.7 million.
Last year, King Mswati III of Swaziland passed over Mercedes and went for a $546,000 Maybach 62 for himself plus a fleet of BMW’s for each of his 10 wives and three virginal fiancées selected annually at the football-stadium “dance of the impalas.” In May, he changed his mind about Mercedes and roared up to his rubber-stamp parliament in a new S600L limo. The total bill for his car purchases will be about $1.6 million. Yet 70% of Swazis languish in absolute poverty and four out of 10 have HIV/AIDS, the highest rate in the world.
As for South Africa, Nelson Mandela accepted the gift of a Mercedes from the manufacturer. In 2001 the ANC chief whip Tony Yengeni was charged and later jailed for accepting a Mercedes ML320 at a 48% discount in return for lobbying on behalf of Daimlerchrysler companies in the European Aeronautic Defence and Space consortium (EADS). At the same time EADS was bidding for huge defence contracts, and Mercedes-Benz unilaterally admitted making dozens of cars available at discount prices. Some 32 officials, including the national defence chief General Siphiwe Nyanda, benefited. According to local press reports, President Thabo Mbeki had been given an S600L armoured limousine for a “test drive.” He kept it for a full six months, handing it back just as the Yengeni scandal broke.
The following year, Muammar Gaddafi gave Mbeki an S600L as a present. ANC officials claimed the President was “truly embarrassed,” but did he refuse the gift?
The original home of the WaBenzi is Kenya. After decades of dictatorship, voters in 2002 swept Mwai Kibaki to power at the head of his NARC rainbow coalition on an anti-corruption ticket. The very first law Kibaki’s parliament passed rewarded politicians with a 172% salary increase. MPs’ take-home pay is now about $142,000 per annum and the Kenyan MPs’ fat package of allowances includes a $51,500 grant to buy a duty-free car, together with a monthly $1,160 fuel and maintenance allowance.
Many politicians spend much more on their official and private cars, Kibaki’s ministers especially. Soon after taking power the government spurned its corrupt predecessors’ Mercedes E220 models, and upgraded with the purchase of 32 new vehicles for top officials, including seven for the Office of the President. Most of these were new E240s, while the minister in charge of Kenya’s dilapidated roads, Raila Odinga, went for a customized S500 at a probable cost of $218,000. Kibaki got himself the S600L limousine.
Ministers say they should be paid so well because it stops them taking bribes. Take a look at Kenya’s 2005-06 budget, read out by finance minister David Mwiraria to a cheering parliament in Nairobi in June. According to the local Daily Nation, the government has allocated $6.5-million to buy a fleet of new vehicles for the Office of the President. A further $6.3-million has been set aside for the maintenance of the existing carpool.
Here’s how the WaBenzi get around. Nigeria’s Olusegun Obasanjo and Libya’s Muammar Gaddafi have motorcades that can extend a mile long. An African president needs at least 30 cars: the S600L for himself, perhaps two more identical vehicles to confuse assassins, outriders, ministers, yes-men and chase cars bristling with guns. Snarling police in advance vehicles force you off the road for up to an hour before the big man zooms past. In Kenya, I often wonder how much it all costs, to make the capital city, Nairobi, grind to a halt. When almost the entire city police force is ordered to line the roads from State House to the airport, how many rapes, murders and robberies are perpetrated in the slums? When you hear Him coming, the back of your neck tingles as the tension mounts.
Zimbabweans call Mugabe’s motorcade “Bob and the Wailers” on account of the blaring sirens and flashing lights. Woe betide you if you get in the way. Early this year, the Tanzanian President Benjamin Mkapa visited Mugabe, who picked him up in the five-tonne Mercedes and was heading back to the palace when a lowly motorist stopped too close to the motorcade’s path. In Zimbabwe it is an imprisonable offence to make rude comments or gestures in “view or hearing of the state motorcade.” This man had done neither, but police surrounded him, viciously beat him and then dragged him away.
Mkapa’s police killed a lot of people around the rigged elections in Zanzibar. At home, he has his own motorcade, which in the last five years has been involved in three separate road accidents in which 22 people have died (including a child of three) and 47 others have been seriously injured. Most were pedestrians. Mkapa escaped this road slaughter without a scratch to himself, but no wonder he often chooses to fly in the $32.7-million presidential jet he used state coffers to buy in 2002.
Who benefits from aid? Germany gives the East African Union $17.4-million for the regional organization’s secretariat in Arusha, and the car park is filled with Mercedes-Benzes. Is Germany giving the money just so that it can get it back while giving a bunch of WaBenzi in suits their set of wheels?
Aid has not worked. A Merrill Lynch report estimates there are 100,000 Africans today who owe $829-billion in wealth. At the same time more than 300 million other Africans live on $1 a day. Forget about the gap between north and south. The wealth gap within countries like Kenya is far, far worse than in any other part of the globe.
It doesn’t have to be like this. Africans themselves have always seen the WaBenzi as the symbol of Africa’s ills. The first martyr for the cause was Thomas Sankara, the Burkina Faso president who forced his ministers to swap their Mercedes for Renault 5s. He also made them go on runs. Sankara was overthrown and executed in 1987 by Blaise Campaore, who remains in power today. In 2001 Sam Nujoma of Namibia traded in his Mercedes for a Volvo. He said if all ministers did likewise it would save $1.2-million annually. “We are servants of the Namibian people,” he said. “It is high time that we start behaving as such.”
What a party-pooper – at least until this year, when as part of his huge retirement package he got a S500 worth $174,000 plus two other cars. In 2002 Zambia’s President Levy Mwanawasa went to the airport in a public bus and urged his ministers to do the same. Last year the opposition Ghanaian politician Dr. Edward Nasigre Mahama proposed selling President John Kufuor’s Mercedes to pay for children’s education.
“Get off the corruption thing,” says Bob Geldof. But nobody has got on to it properly yet. Aid-giving nations pretend to be tough on corruption, while African leaders pretend to change. Aid bureaucrats care less about financial probity than the press releases claiming that an economy is on a positive reform track. They are not helping Africa’s young entrepreneurs. By throwing fiscal discipline to the wind and shovelling aid at Africa, the international bureaucrats will fuel a new renaissance in corruption.
Meanwhile, NGOs refuse to focus on corruption. The blame it on Western multinationals. I sometimes wonder if they would prefer to see Africans stay poor so that aid workers could carry on doing good works for them.
Western pundits say the WaBenzi exist because African culture is inherently sick, that black Africans can’t help but admire the Big Men. This does ordinary Africans an injustice. The West needs to help them get better leaders before it increases aid. Make the WaBenzi declare their wealth to their electorates and donors. Name and shame those who drive expensive cars while their people starve. Encourage policies that will create wealth so that the only Africans buying Mercedes-Benzes are honest men and women. Unless this happens, Afica’s new aid package will not alleviate poverty, disease and ignorance. It will mean more flashy limousines.
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No Child Should Sleep Hungry Campaign
M.A.D. would like to remind all Kenyans and friends to attend and support our kids on the 10TH of April on their on going campaign of NO CHILD SHOULD SLEEP HUNGRY! Please come on time. You don’t want to miss!
VENUE: TOMTBERGSVÄGEN 16
LOCATION: HALUNDA CENTRUM
TIME: 14:00
Strange White Stuff: The Flower Culture
You might have seen it before or even several times. A bouquet of flowers being handed out liberally at anniversaries, birthdays or holidays. If you have been to white cities, you will admit that the flower business is one of the most conspicuous and in summer, out-door flower sales are known to fetch millions of dollars annually. Flowers are not food to be eaten but they have a lot of meaning to white people.
When other non white people in Asia, Africa, Latin America and elsewhere are starving because of failure to cultivate food, white people are spending millions of dollars on flowers to please friends or send “flower messages” to acquaintances. You can literally say anything with a flower – thank you very much, I love you, I am sorry, get well quickly, I empathize with you and what have you.
Don’t just buy any type of flower and rush to a white person with it to try and say something because different flowers mean different things. If you don’t understand this culture, you could end up saying “get well quickly” when you meant “I love you” just by purchasing and presenting the wrong kind of flower. If you are at the stage where you can’t even differentiate between the different kinds of flowers, ask the florist.
For example, if you are a non white male who is screwing a white lassie and she tried to monitor your movements leading to a tiff, zoom near a flower shop and buy some rose flowers. The flowers are not cheap but the good thing is that the more flowers you put in, the more you are saying that you love her despite the present crisis.
It is better if you can surprise her by timing when she is home, knocking the door and as she opens, she is confronted with a bunch of neatly packed flowers. Most likely, she will calm down and probably let you in. Others are not so much moved by flowers but have emotional attachments to stuff like chocolates so you can find out what the preference is and do the right thing. In fact, a bunch of flowers could save you from being dumped.
Once the flowers are presented and there is an obvious change in facial expression saying that they have been accepted, make the next move by saying you are sorry for what happened as you move closer. Then, make another serious move to kiss her on the lips with the flowers still on her hands and if this goes through, you are done. Sometimes it might not go through but if you are at the verge of losing her, its better to take a risk. These events should follow in quick succession and if you play it well, the flower will work out magic and you probably will get to terms very quickly. In fact, you might not leave the house without access to the goods to help put the past behind.
Although flower culture is believed to have spread to white people through Turkey, the strong emotional attachment of white people to flowers has led to the development of this culture and its spread further across the world. Now, you find people all over the world using flowers to impart unique messages to contacts.
Sunflower imparts pride and wealth while an olive depicts peace and a sense of security. If you give a Holly flower, it is for good wishes but if it is a situation which calls for consolation after some bad thing has happened to your white friend, give a Poppy. Don’t go there with a Daisy which is strictly for innocence or a Heather which is for solitude.
If you want to appreciate the worthiness of your white friend or to show him or her that you appreciate his or her inner strengths, make it a Fennel and see how the whitie melts. The impact of the kind of flower you chose will, of cause, depend on whether the whitie understands the meaning of the flower. There are some dumb whites who do not understand the flower dynamics so take care.
If you want to show a white girl that you admire her and you get an opportunity to give her flowers, surprise her with a Camellia because it is a symbol of loveliness, if not, perfection. A white friend who has just returned from Africa may be feeling brave so it might be time to get there with an Anemone. For heaven’s sake, never carry dead flowers (plastic) to a white person.
Watering flowers
A woman friend of mine bred in “foreign African culture” and who did not understand the emotional algebra of flowers found a lovely pack of plastic flowers and bought it for the new white boyfriend. The boy never called back. By presenting the dead plastic flowers, the girl was unconsciously sending the message that the relationship was dead. That is how strange it can get so be informed.
Marigold sends the message that you care and is used mainly during times of sorrow – when something bad has happened to the whitie. When it is time to leave your white contact after some visit or may be, you got some free accommodation during a trip, you can try fixing a Rosemary which symbolizes remembrance. You don’t have to be educated about the Rose flower because that symbolism is universal – love and affection. This is the most selling and most popular flower among white people especially among couples.
Next time you spy a white person with a bunch of flowers wrapped up in some paper, don’t just think that the bundle was picked at random from the florist then packed. The purchase could be the product of consultations because the flowers could be intended for a very special function between the white person and the target.
The story does not end there. Almost every white person worth his/her salt has flowers growing around in the house. The flowers are watered at regular intervals to ensure that they don’t dry up. If a white person visits you in your flat and finds that there are no flowers, a slight depression might follow although they will never show it. If the whitie loves flowers, it will take an act of courage for you to be asked politely why you don’t keep flowers in the house. This is important. If you are invited to a Party when a white friend is moving into a new house, make sure you carry some flowers otherwise you will be a disappointment.
If you have flowers in your house and you forgot to water them, causing them to dry up, a white person might give you a classification of sorts – you could be lazy, forgetful, uncaring, unconcerned for how on earth can you spend money on flowers then leave them to dry up when you have water in the house?
Why did you buy them in the first place if you can’t water them? The white person knows the hassle involved in watering flowers and it takes strong emotional attachment on the part of the flower owner to remember to water them. Giving them water is like feeding little children who cannot help themselves.
Millions of non white people resident in white countries buy flowers and keep them in their houses just to try and “fit in”, not because of any attachments to flowers and this explains why many flowers kept in non white houses normally die on a routine basis. The funny part is that once they dry up because you forgot to feed them with water, you throw them away and buy new ones to dry up again and the cycle continues. Single non white dudes are the worst in watering flowers.
For the whitie, the situation is so serious that when a white person is going for holiday or will be away for long periods, you will be unlucky if you are the neighbor because you could be left the keys to water the flowers so that the whitie does not return to find that the flowers are dead. If the neighbor is some Nigger or some Arab who cannot be trusted with keys, the whitie might chose to leave the flowers in a bath tub with some water to feed the flowers.
In winter, the white man’s land is full of snow. Flowers in the house help to bring back life on a daily basis after coming from the biting cold and keeping them in the house could be good. For non white cultures, flowers are stuff that are left to grow outside and admired in the garden. But not so with white people. Irish flower is a symbol of hope while a Carnation stands for admiration and that’s it.
In the real world, the word grass is normally associated with marijuana but in the white flower world, it stands for usefulness. When happiness returns after a white person has suffered a catastrophe that brought sadness and intense suffering, it could be a good idea to pop up with a Lilly of the Valley.
Okoth Osewe
“Strange Stuff White People Do” Series At KSB
KSB has opened up a new category at the blog site. It is called “Strange stuff white people do”. This category will try to document some stuff which appears very normal to white people yet they could be strange when looked at from the point of view of other cultures. It is a response to some readers who have been asking me to do some stuff on this for some time.
The compositions are for fun and readers are not expected to carry them to their logical conclusions. Some white people may disagree with the views but this is allowed in a world of free speech. There is no offence meant with the writing and we encourage our readers to take it easy when the goings gets tough. The starting point is that there are strange things in all cultures. The other day, Kenyans were captured on video burning suspected witches alive and, in as much as it was strange, this is normal in some villages in Kenya.
The difference is that there are some Kenyans (and foreigners alike) who have been residing amongst white people for a very long time that they have come to make a list of things they believe are strange but which are practiced on a daily basis by whites. Other foreigners have adopted parts or whole of these cultures in the process of integration and assimilation.
We hope that readers will enjoy the articles as KSB gets even more diverse. Now, Kenyans in Stockholm can get things they find strange in the white Swedish culture highlighted here. We begin the series with the culture of flowers.
Okoth Osewe
When Purity Had Her day With Wangari Maathai…
This is how the situation looked liked when Maathai “met Kenyans” in Stockholm according to Purity’s design. In the picture, it was like Maathai was wondering where the 
real Kenyans had gone because when she was last here, she was welcomed by about 100 Kenyans with song and dance. The picture was lifted from the web site of Ole Ngais who is increasingly surfacing as Purity’s “good boy” in Stockholm.
They have mended their differences after Purity side-stepped him on a web design contract. He lambasted Purity at his blog but later pulled the story down to start a new beginning with the Embassy, a beginning which has been paying dividends.
Purity represents the Coalition government but today, Ole Ngais has become so important that he beats even Kenyans who campaigned for Kibaki like the Narc-Kenya Chairman Mr. Daniel Mwaura and Mrs Hellen Opwapo, the Chairlady of ODM-Scandinavia who were both not invited to the function because Purity regards them as part of the “trouble makers”.
So far, only two Kenyans (in the picture) have been identified as having been invited to the function, the rest being foreigners from Uganda and other countries who were mobilized at Plaza Hotel to eat tax money as Kenyans were kept away. Some Kenyans had planned to storm the function to lecture Purity but decided to halt the plan in respect of Mathaai who appears not to have known what was happening behind the scenes.
When Maathai asked about the whereabouts of Kenyans, she never got any proper answer. The other guy in the picture doesn’t seem to be happy.
US-Based Pastor Karanja Coming To Sweden
Renowned Kenyan Apostle of the Christ Harvesters Ministries in the USA will be visiting Sweden for a three day seminar next month. Apostle Karanja, whose message and teachings reach Kenyan Christians in Sweden and the world through free DVDs, has become a house hold name to thousands of people and his anticipated visit will be a highlight to this year’s events.
Pastor Karanja
The three day seminar is still in the cooking pot and arrangements are still underway though at final stages. There will be feasting, food and beverages free of charge for all in attendance and occasional interaction with the Apostle will be possible. The climax of the seminar will be the main event to be held on the last day, Sunday 24th.
For those unfamiliar with the brother in Christ, his mission’s website is available. Get acquainted with his work before you meet him and you will be blessed. Also within reach are his free DVDs that circulate among the Kenyan Christian flock in Stockholm and which can also be ordered free of charge through the website. You can also easily borrow them from friends in Stockholm who have them in abundance. You are much welcome, just place a call or ask your friends who loves the word! The website is www.christharvesters.org.
The seminar will be held at a “lokal” in Kärrtop but if the weather allows, a mini nyama choma picnic with some teachings to help digest the nyakee is a possibility in one of the three days. This will be announced in good time. Favourite Kenyan foods like chapoo, pilau, ugali, mandazi, sambuu and others will be there to be devoured!
For those travelling from outside Stockholm or outside Sweden and who wish to camp at a friend’s residence please, take contact for arrangements to be made. This also applies to those who need directions to the location of the event.
This will not be the first Christian event of its kind. Last year, Kenyan Christians in Stockholm invited Bishop Garrison K Njoroge for a similar seminar which was held both at Fittja beach and Baggarmossen. The Outreach Ministry, which used to fellowship at Bagarmossen and which invited Bishop Njoroge, had to relocate to a “Lokal” in Kärtorp after their time at the Bagarmossen Lokal expired.
“I And My House Shall Serve The Lord” Joshua 24:15.
A great mathematician, Blaze Pascal, once said that if he had three lifetimes, he would live them believing in God and doing good. He said if he was later to discover that there was no God, he would have lost nothing, but if there was indeed a God, then he will have attained everything. The theme for the seminar is “I and my house shall serve the lord”!
Incidentally, Rt. Reverend Timothy Ranji Mbugua, a diocesan Bishop of the Anglican church in Kenya, will also be visiting Sweden privately, but will attend the seminar and possibly have a word with the congregation. You shouldn’t miss that now, would you?
For further information please get in touch with the contacts bellow. Your call will be appreciated!
Pastor Samsom Kariuki: Mob: 0704523798; Mr Githuku Muirani: Mob: 0736779031; Mrs Wamaitha Kinuthia: Mob: 0739266677. Glory be to God.
Awuor Should Stop Carrying Purity’s Hand bag
Naturally, the understanding is that as the Ambassador’s Deputy, Ms Jenipher Awuor is supposed to help her boss Purity with the day to day running of the Embassy. However, Awuor’s real job may have remained off-topic until a KSB commentator brought it up – carrying Purity’s handbag whenever the boss is on her numerous excursions.
Awuor (L) with the baggage: Notice how Purity is folding her arms as her bag remains on safe hands!
Probably, this makes Awuor one of the most expensive hand-bag carrying employee in the international world of diplomacy. In fact, it makes our country unique because “Only in Kenya” do we have “hand-bag carrying” as the basic job description of the Deputy Ambassador and there is photographic proof and repeated sightings by all and sundry.
To juxtapose the Awuor situation, it is like Kalonzo Musyoka always following Kibaki everywhere carrying the President’s briefcase. Worse still, it is like Musalia Mudavadi or Uhuru Kenyatta, the Deputy Prime Ministers, always following their boss Raila Odinga with his brief case.
By following Purity up and down even when she is on a shopping spree, the impression an observer gets is that Awuor is very idle in the office and whenever there is an opportunity of “going out”, she has to fix an excuse and Her Excellency’s hand bag is always part of the bargain. Look at it this way. If Awuor was a man, could he be following Purity everywhere with the hand bag on his hand as is the case today or could he be too shy?
Simple logic would have it that when purity is away, Awuor should be in the Office to take charge and to control staff members who may begin to behave badly by playing the mice when the cat is away. Conversely, a normal Office should have the boss sending her Junior to minor errands while reserving to herself the bigger and more heavier stuff like meeting the Swedish Prime Minister on behalf of the Kenyan government. While Awuor is to blame for playing the hand bag carrier, Purity too needs to be cast into the frying pan too.
She renders Awuor useless in the Office because she goes everywhere and never gives Awuor the opportunity to go and represent her anywhere. One day, she was invited to a Sudanese disco to represent the Kenyan government and instead of transferring the responsibility to her deputy or even another Junior like Kottut, she was at it, jumping to the staccato beats of the Sudanese rhythms in her Kitenge with hands in the air and hips swinging as Awuor waited patiently, keeping watch on Purity’s handbag.
At the Uganda independence day held in Kista some times back, Purity was invited and she was the first to arrive in her white Benz. When a Ugandan national who knew her tried to talk to her in Swahili, she refused to respond, pretending that she couldn’t speak Swahili. She abandoned the national language because she thought that the guy was a KSB spy. The Ugandan later called KSB to complain about Purity’s behavior.
Deprived of all opportunity of representing her boss anywhere, Awuor has decided not to sleep in the office. She follows her and the hand bag trick seem to be working because the other day, she managed to get close to former US President Bill Clinton at the Climate change conference just by carrying Purity’s handbag.
Awuor knows that the bag can take her to places but the key concern is whether she notices the damage she is doing to her reputation just by reducing her official duties to handbag-carrying at every opportunity. In as much as Purity needs to be recalled, Awuor should also grow up and stop Purity from converting her into a cheap “escort girl” whose job is to carry baggage. She needs to wake up!
Okoth Osewe
A Case Of Mixed Identity Which Needs To Be Solved
I wish to distance myself from comments at Clay Onyango’s “Butdoisay” blog mentioning one Odero under the thread reading: “Are you suffering from HIV? Tony Odera Has Stretched His Hand to Help…” Posted on October 28, 2008. Filed under: Uncategorized.
A friend called me this evening saying that he had read a new comment by “Asha” mentioning the name Odero and not Odera, who was initially the person being discussed in the Heteroplus information. I immediately sent a text message to Clay at 20:28 saying:
“Sasa Clay. Somebody called telling me a comment on your blog for Tony Odera carries the name Odero and this is linked to the guy’s recent seduction of the commentator’s wife. May I request you to delete my name and correct it to ODERA because am not linked to Heteroplus. Thanks”.
I didn’t receive any response from Clay, therefore sent him an email stating this:
From: oderoxxxx
To: clayxxxx
Subject: Comment on your blog
Date: Thu, 2 Apr 2009 19:23:39 +0000
Hi Clay,
I have now checked and read a comment on your blog linked to Tony Odera which mentions Odero and not ODERA, whom the commentator claims was seducing his wife recently. I have requested on the SMS I sent to you this evening, to please delete the name Odero and replace it with Odera, becuase that comment could be mistaken to mean me, Odero. I am not connected to Heteroplus, which the head story dedicates to Tony Odera. Thanks.
Regards
Jared Odero
There was no response from Clay on my email either. I therefore went to www.eniro.se and got his home phone number which I called but nobody responded. I left a message on the voicemail stating that a second comment from Zip mentioning the name Odero has again appeared at his blog, after I had requested him on various media to delete and replace it with Odera’s name, who was the main person on the filed story.
If he felt that I was the one mentioned, then he should have allowed my full names with proof of the allegations, or the particular Odero being commented on.
Clay is solely responsible for comments moderated and allowed to be published on his blog. It is therefore unethical and unprofessional of him to allow comments using a name not related to the apparent topic.
Below are the two comments quoted from Butdoisay:
If I ever got the sickness, Mr. Odero would be the last person to approach for advise. He met my wife the other day in town and believe it or not, he started seducing her while he knows the risk. I will go to the real doctors for help, full stop.
Asha. April 2, 2009
@asha, oh my God.Who is mr Odero? What was your wife doing in town? Wacha maneno mingi.
Zip: April 2, 2009
Dr. Jared Odero
KSB NOTE: We concur. This looks like a matter of mistaken identity and because there is no other Odero in Stockholm, the risk is that the allegations may be personally damaging. Given the public profile of Mr. Odero, it is likely that his reputation may enter into serious disrepute and, under the circumstances, it is only prudent that the two parties (Clay & Odero) institute measures of redress so that collective fire can be concentrated on Ambassador Purity who needs to be recalled. Through KSB, Clay has done the same in the past to protect his name from being mixed with the travel agent who was conning people and we hope that this issue will be solved peacefully and without dramma.
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