Horror In Kenya: Shocking Video Of Witches Burnt Alive
In this graphic video, two witches are burnt alive in a village in Kenya.
Pastor Fixed A 50,000 KR Puppy With Barbz’s Money
Sometimes, the story of Barbz and the Pastor assumes the complexity of a conundrum but at some other times, the saga simply meanders like river Miriu in Kenya, leaving many questions unanswered. There was a period when Barbz and the Pastor were very broke but towards the end of last year, an examination of financial transactions in favour of Barbz indicate that the couple was very rich.
During the period when Barbz was broke, she was mainly alone in Upplands Väsby as the Pastor put up at Hagsätra after he was housed by a youth Pastor in his church.
Puppy cost 50,000 kr
To try and contain the “Barbz scandal” and after gaining access to Barbz’s email, Pastor Charles Mapozi pumped KSB with a zillion emails that were stolen from Barbz’s address. From the content of these emails, it looks like there was a period when Barbz appears to have developed feelings of having been abandoned by the Pastor because she looked like someone who was looking for love elsewhere. She was not living with the Pastor.
Interestingly, it is during this period when the Pastor also seems to have hooked up with Terezza on a romantic scale. What is curious is that Barbz knew Terezza because they were both members of the same congregation under Pastor although she did not imagine that Terezza could have been the lady who may have been providing the goods to the Pastor when she was away in Upplands Väsby and as the Pastor went through untold tribulations after he became homeless.
Indeed, the Pastor was going through a difficult period in his life and he needed someone to console him, a vacuum which the paperless Terezza may have noticed before she wriggled herself in to fill up the space with her Filipino charms, probably expecting mapepe as pay-back. On the surface, this sounded a good deal.
Barbz never used to visit the Pastor at his Hagsätra retreat although according to Barbz, the Pastor used to visit her at the neighbor’s place where she had taken refuge to consume the goods. Since it was the Pastor who was making the rounds, one might be led to think that the Pastor was double dealing because he never told Barbz anything about Terezza until the day when Barbz came to see him in hospital after he collapsed in the Church. That was after the Pastor understood that Barbz was on her way to becoming a millionaire.
MORE MONEY PUMPED INTO PASTOR’S CHURCH ACCOUNT: At this point in time, the Pastor appears to have made very serious commitments with Terezza because when he broke the news to Barbz that he was with Terezza, he at the same time blamed his action on the devil before trying to calm Barbz down that the relationship was nothing but “Paper business”.
The big question that remained is why the Pastor had accepted an expensive phone worth 5,000kr from a poor paperless girl with 5 mouths to feed in the Philippines if his relationship with Terezza was platonic and based on sympathy because of her suffering as a paperless mother of five.
Another question is why the Pastor was blaming this relationship on the devil if it was not real because the act of helping Terezza with papers should have been a courageous act which deserved praise, not regrets from the Pastor. Had the Pastor become confused after he found himself on the horns of dilemma, torn between commitments to Terezza on the one hand and the prospect of losing millions that had began to roll in the direction of Barbz? We will never know.
When the Pastor came from hospital after 5 days of treatment and observation, a tendency that is noticeable from available documents is that money was coming in on a constant basis and in two different ways. There was huge amounts of money that was coming directly into the Pastor’s Church account while there was money coming in through Western Union directly to Barbz before she allegedly surrendered the cash to the Pastor. The money was coming in from a contact in Germany who had purchased Barbz property in Kenya and the name, address and other details of the German are clearly stated in the transaction documents.
On 3rd November 2008, 500 Euros came in through Western Union to Barbz while on 13th the same month, another 700 Euros was wired in. This was followed by another 950 Euros on 19th November and another 950 Euros on the 27th November 2008. The previous day (28th), 750 Euros had been wired in and less than two weeks later (10/12/2008), another 750 Euros was wired in through Western Union followed by another 500 Euros that came in on 30th December 2008. The next installment was on 2nd January 2009 when 780 Euros was wired in before another 500 Euros came in the same day.
In his communications, the Pastor had questioned how he could have maintained Barbz in Sweden for 8 months before her millions started getting in towards the end of last year. What he did not mention was that on 16th July last year, a total of 8,400 Euros was wired to Barbz in two transactions, one for 5,000 Euros and another for 3,400 Euros. During this period, they were still together. Barbz had claimed that almost a million Swedish crowns was wired in and much of this money went in through the Pastor’s church account. From transaction documents recovered by KSB, there is no reason to dispute Barbz’s claims.
Once the Pastor understood that finance was no longer a problem, he brainwashed Barbz to believe that his relationship with Terezza was a “paper thing”. In the meantime, he dumped Terezza (at least in the eyes of Barbz) to concentrate in the direction in which money was coming from. One important development is that he refused to dump the expensive phone Terezza bought him even after Barbz offered to buy him a similar phone. For Barbz, seeing the Pastor with the “Terezza phone” was disturbing especially after the Pastor had talked about the devil having tempted him, probably to taste Terezza’s charms.
CHURCH RENT AND OTHER BILLS SORTED AT 70,000 KR: The Pastor is very cleaver. He knew that the cash which was coming in from Germany could not be wired into his bank account directly because then, he could have been confronted by the bank to explain where the money was coming from and compelled to pay tax if the cash was the product of business transactions.
For this reason, he chose to direct the cash into the church’s account, fixed an ATM card which he could use to spend the money, all in the name of love and the great blessings that the almighty God had brought his way after months of prayers, trials, tribulations, homelessness, uncertainty and devilish temptations with the likes of Terezza. Little did Barbz know that this was just a game.
As readers will remember, both Barbz and the Pastor were homeless and the first thing the couple tackled is that they bought a house at Alvsjö to get rid of “the Satan of homelessness”. Barbz paid a cool 120,000 kr as down payment and the couple said good bye to homelessness. The balance was to follow and guess in whose name the house was written? You got it wrong. It was the Church which, a week earlier, had been too broke to pay rent!
Next on the agenda was the church itself to be taken care of. Economic crisis had hit kanisa mbaya sana and by the time the Pastor became homeless, rent had not been paid for 7-8 months while other bills were also outstanding. Church workers had not been paid. The congregation was threatened with eviction and this could have been a catastrophe. The rent was 6,000 kr per month and the next thing the Pastor did is that he sorted out all bills at an estimated 70,000 kr cash money – thanks to Barbz and her millions!
Readers will remember the Pastor lamenting (incognito) how he used to cook for Barbz, clean her clothes, Iron them and lick stuff. He wrote:
“He cleaned the house, cooked the food, washed her clothes, washed the dishes and even cleaned the bath room. All this time Barbz did nothing but use the computer. (I have seen the chats, they are court evidence). What makes you think a guy that gives you a place to live and feeds you, cleans after you and washes your clothes for eight months is a devil”.
Surely, with a house having been bought to end homelessness and the Church rent having been paid by the millionaire girlfriend, what was the Pastor supposed to do? Tell the millionaire to wash clothes when she could buy a washing machine to do the job or expect her to stain her manicured finger nails doing the dishes when she could afford machines to do the job? We will not get there though…
With an ATM card in his wallet and thousands of crowns in the church’s account, Barbz was brainwashed into purchasing the Pastor spectacles worth 12,000 crowns. It is understood that these are the same spectacles the Pastor hangs today as I write this article. That was after the Pastor went and bought a puppy for 50,000 kr and a digital camera worth 12,000 kr. His favourite shopping spot was NK reserved for celebrities.
In short, the Pastor went on a spending spree as cash continued to flow in. During all these times, the Pastor maintained his relationship with Terezza whom he was planning to marry after draining Barbz dry. In our next installment, find out how the crisis between Barbz and the Pastor erupted and how the Pastor had a secret wedding with Terezza prompting Barbz to understand that she had been taken for a big ride and how she quit the relationship before landing on the hands of KISS agents with her story.
Okoth Osewe
Stuff Kenyans Like: Ugali
Ugali is a mixture of maize flour and water cooked with an “ugali stick” until it turns into a hard white mound that can, nevertheless be curved off with the fingers in small bits shaped like a golf ball. The ugali is cooked in a sufuria (kinda a deep cooking pan) with the maize flour being added gradually to boiling water and mixed intensely and continuously until it is ready.
Ugali made with an "ugali stick"
The process takes between five to ten minutes (depending on the skills of the Chef and the size of ugali) after which the resulting stone-like lump is patched on a wide plate ready to be served. To help the cooked Ugali retain its texture, it is sometimes covered with the same pot it was cooked in.
This treatment also helps preserve the ugali temperature which is important because when it gets cold, eating it becomes boring since it “over hardens” with time. “One stone” of ugali on a plate can be eaten by many people with every consumer slicing off a piece with a knife like some kinda cake. Sometimes, everybody eats from the same plate with the guests surrounding the ugali around a table.
The favorite combination with ugali is sukuma wiki (kales) fried in oil mixed with onions and tomatoes. The sukuma (as it is known) is chopped into small pieces then fried in a sufuria with onions also chopped into small pieces.
The onions normally come first then as they soften submerged in the heating oil, tomatoes are added just before the onions begin to turn brown. After mixing the combination, chopped sukuma wiki is then added (remember to wash them) and left to cook shortly, allowing the sukuma to retain its green colour. Salt is also part of the mixture then you are ready. A Kenyan who cannot cook sukuma (male or female) has had some “Kenyan” in him or her taken away.
If you have the resources, you can serve the ugali and sukuma wiki with fried meat. The addition of meat in the diet adds a sense of class because in Kenya, meat is a very expensive food stuff reserved for the middle or upper classes in society. The ghetto dwellers can make do with ugali plus sukuma but the well to do in society always spice it up with meaty stuff.
If a Kenyan is coming for dinner and you get this combination right, you will be surprised at how the Kenyan will open up. If you are not Kenyan, the first comment might be like you have been to Kenya or you have/have had a Kenyan BF/GF and that kinda talk. There is no way a Kenyan will accept that the combination is your own idea and prepare for an argument if you intend to crack such a joke.
This is because ugali is the staple food in Kenya and in the West where maize flour is scarce, a Kenyan will go that “extra mile” to try and get something close to it. In West Africa, ugali is the equivalent of something called “Fufu”.
Ugali Tourism
ugali, meat and sukuma
Of course, Ugali is not exclusively Kenyan. It is also consumed in other African countries but for a Kenyan, it is difficult to figure out how a diet can miss ugali in the menu for a prolonged period of time if all factors are right. In a post election crisis where the movement of food stuff is impaired, it is possible to understand if ugali suddenly goes missing but in a normal set up, there has to be ugali after every 24 hours.
In Sweden, Kenyans have turned to manner gryn (a kinda maize flour combination) although it doesn’t give the original version of the real thing. There is also a brand of maize flour called Pan which originates from Latin America and is sold widely in Sweden. It is a perfect replacement that gets the ugali magic almost to the level of a carbon copy.
When a Kenyan cooks ugali, don’t try to despise it because the taste might be rather weird if you have never been to ugalo land or never tasted it. Instead, try praising the Ugali and if possible, say something like “oh my God, everybody should be eating ugali… I love it”, then wait for the grand smile as the Kenyan absorbs the real impact of ugali in other cultures.
It is common to hear a Kenyan with a white spouse at a gathering with ugali presence claiming that the whitie likes ugali or can even make the thing. Secretly, it is a sense of pride to let others know that some work has been done to integrate the whitie into the “national ugali culture” so that when the thing is served, the whitie does not have to turn red with “what the hell is this fiffan” kinda surprise. Kenyans believe that white people rarely hide their feelings. There can be a crisis when a white spouse begins to claim that the ugali is tasteless in the middle of a huge ugali-eating crowd. For this reason, they are normally “fixed” before being exposed to the stuff.
If you are new and ugali is served with sukuma wiki, lighten the Kenyan up by saying something like: “This tastes nice. The combination with ugali is just perfect! I have to learn how to do this”, then you are done. If the combination involves the meat, praise the soup and then try to wonder how the Kenyan cooking culture is fantastic. The Kenyan will melt and, most likely, talk about you positively on the phone when you are gone. If you are dating a Kenyan, just say that you need to come home and eat some ugali. You shall have captured your prey with very few words.
Round off the evening by making a humble request. The meal was so delicious that you just have to learn how to make the ugali. Be prepared because the Kenyan might actually offer to come to your crib to teach you how to do it.
They claim that they have just exported Obama to the United States and entrenching ugali in other cultures could just be a continuation of a new brand of exports that could increase interest in Kenya as a tourist attraction.
“Ugali tourism” could lead to thousands visiting the country to taste ugali, just like it is happening in the case of Kogelo, Obama’s village which has not only become a tourist joint but also a “protected area” and part of the country’s “national heritage”. I understand that the government is working hard to convince the UN to make Kogelo another wonder of the world!
Part of the political crisis in Kenya is linked to unaffordable maize flour which has made it impossible for Kenyans to put ugali on the table. Consequently, the country is being threatened with “Ugali revolution” that could lead to the collapse of the fragile Coalition government.
Okoth Osewe
Moses Njenga Is Back And Says “Thank You Very Much”
Mr. Moses Njenga, a Kenyan resident in Stockholm, hasjust returned to Stockholm from Kenya where he had gone to bury his dear father who passed away in Kenya after illness. Mr. Njenga travelled together with his sister Rhoda Waithera who is still in Kenya and who will return to Stockholm next week.
Speaking to KSB soon after his arrival, Mr. Njenga thanked Kenyans, well-wishers and friends who condoled with the family during a time of tragedy. Mr. Njenga said that his family will forever appreciate the kind words, the prayers, the moral and material support they received from everybody who cared at a difficult time of great shock and sorrow.
Mr. Njenga thanked the entire Committee that was led by Mr. Daniel Mwaura for having assisted him during a time of great need and hoped that Kenyans will continue with the spirit of solidarity especially during times of tragedy.
The death of Njenga’s father happened at a time when the Kenyan was planning to tie the knot with his lover. Mr. Njenga said that he will soon update friends and well wishers about his new wedding plans.
KSB and the entire fraternity takes this opportunity to welcome Njenga back to Kenya Stockholm.
Okoth Osewe
Diaspora: Kenyan Shot Dead In United States
New Kent County authorities identified a Quinton couple found dead in their home last week as Cheyenne Bullock Sr., 49, and his wife, Caroline Bullock, 32.
The apparent murder-suicide was discovered after a family member asked the county sheriff’s department Friday to check on the welfare of the couple, who lived at 3800 New Kent Highway.
A spokesman did not provide information today about what might have precipitated the two deaths, acknowledging that each apparently died from a gunshot, and that Cheyenne Bullock was shot after his wife.
Caroline Bullock was a citizen of Kenya, according to the sheriff’s department.
Bill McKelway
Breaking News: New Scandal Shakes Kenya-Stockholm
The tectonic plates of the Kenya-Stockholm scandal-sphere has once again been shaken by a new “scandalquake” that measured 6.8 on Kenya-Stockholm vituko scale.
According to eye-witnesses who were at Vasa, the epicenter of the quake which erupted yesterday at 8.15 CET, several victims mainly from Kenya were rushed to hospital in ambulances after they were hit with shock debris following the eruption of the scandal while others were admitted at Karolinska hospital with serious cases of laughter chokes which doctors said, were not life threatening. Eye witnesses, who escaped with minor injuries, were treated and discharged.
The scene of the quake is reported to have been chaotic with beer bottles and glasses scattered within an area of 2 square meters, tables turned upside down while at least two chairs were reported to have been extensively damaged. The total cost of property damage was placed at 20.000 kr by the proprietor of the drinking hole.
According to KSB experts studying the scandal, another Kenyan beauty has check-mated a Swedish husband whom she has been trying to divorce for years and who is reported to have been in the engine room where her mapepe were manufactured a few years ago.
Tired of the Jungu, the Kenyan lassie slipped back to Kenya, stayed for six months and returned with a swollen tummy after being pumped by a Kenyan bull. The bull is reported to be waiting for mapepe in Kenya so that he can join his new wife in Stockhy. Experts have warned Wakenya not to discuss the scandal for fear of further injuries from “after-shocks”.
Reports say that the couple is currently discussing a divorce and that the Jungu is very upset because the quake came as a total surprise. KSB reporters who arrived at the scene following a tip-off found two Kenyans holding their chests with their hands because of pain caused by vichekesho. They could not talk to KSB because of “chest pains”.
Okoth Osewe
Shemeji Has Now “Split Up” With Mazunguko
Shemeji Mrembo, a Kenyan beauty whom we reported about last time, is in crisis after gossipers blew her identity, opening the door for some Kenyans to begin phoning her to question why she had decided to engage Mazunguko in mapenzi and to put pressure on her to quit.
Speaking to KSB on the phone, she said that some friends have betrayed her because they are jealous that she had real possibilities of beginning her mapepe project with the guy. Although she says that some friends have been supportive, she has accused others of trying to undermine her efforts to fix her stay by constantly opposing her every move.
According to Shemeji, some friends who do not have her interest at heart have been encouraging her to get a single guy or buy mapepe instead of wasting time with married people whom, they say, will use and dump her.
Sounding very relaxed on the phone, she said that she was very surprised with the story at the blog which located her leaving a hotel room with Mazunguko. She said that she left Mazunguko talking to a lady in the hotel to wait for him at the lobby but that Mazunguko never told her that there was danger that what they had done in the room could come out in public after he talked to the lady.
Asked whether Mazunguko’s rib knows that she has been articulating with him, Shemeji said that as far as she was concerned, the two of them have been kissing because Mazunguko had serious problems with his wife and that she did not care whether the wife knew about the relationship or not.
She said that she could have been naïve to have done what she did but added that a person in her situation could sometimes resort to desperate means. She said that Mazunguko has been helping her a great deal and that when she understood that he was having difficulties with his wife, she became sympathetic and later fell in love with him.
When questioned about the kind of help Mazunguko has been giving her, she said that it has mainly been financial while she admitted that the guy has also been giving her hopes in her quest for Mapepe by promising to “do everything in his means” to help.
She called KSB to make it known that she had decided to break up with Mazunguko because the secret was already public and that she doesn’t want to be seen to be bent on destroying a Kenyan family in Stockholm. She also said that she doesn’t want to become the subject of discussion at KSB because her situation was still very delicate.
Asked why she is not trying to trap one of the bachaleros in Stockholm, she said that she had tried but that many of the guys were afraid of getting into serious relationships that could end in marriage because they were mentally immature.
She admitted that although she is not old enough, she is ready to get into a relationship that could end in marriage as long as it was based on love and dismissed KSB story that her affair with Mazunguko may have been based on Mapepe business only.
When questioned further, she said that going public with the truth about her relationship with Mazunguko was part of her “healing process” and appealed to Kenyans to try and help one another especially those in her situation instead of seeking information to try and destroy one another.
She said that she has no grudge with KSB that carried the story because the blog site is simply entertaining its readers. She thanked KSB for not having blown her identity because then, she could have been in deeper crisis with relatives in Kenya who believe that she is studying Economics at Stockholm University while she is struggling with life in the underground.
She said that she has never attempted prostitution as had been suggested in the story and stressed that she will never sell her body regardless of the circumstances. She hoped that Kenyans who already know her will accept her as a person trying her best to sort out her problems after she arrived in Sweden with a lot of hopes and expectation but met with difficulties and disappointment. She refused to go into details about her tribulations in Sweden.
Okoth Osewe
GPO’s Funeral Fundraising On Tuesday Next Week
Following the assassination of George Paul Oulu (GPO) on 5th March 2009, family and friends have been meeting to arrange for the funeral arrangements. Several meetings have been held and a budget of 1 million was drafted in order to cater for the funeral expenses as well as the welfare of GPOs mother who is ill and whose hospitalization is currently urgent.
GPO was a young passionate individual who had many friends in the civil society organizations. Before his untimely death, GPO was working for Oscar Foundation, while he had served for long at the Youth Agenda and interacted through partnerships with many civil society organizations in Kenya.
Given the urgent need to raise funds for the funeral expenses and the welfare of his mother, a fund raising organized by family and the Kisumu Rural Constituency Member of parliament was held on Thursday 12th and only Kshs 200,000 was raised.
It is in this spirit that the committee of the CSO’s and friends has scheduled another fund raiser scheduled for Tuesday 17th March 2009 from 4.30PM at All Saints Cathedral Church along Kenyatta Avenue Opposite Serena Hotel.
This is to kindly invite you to the fund raising to give your contribution in order to raise the deficit to go towards the welfare of the GPO’s mother’s hospitalization as well as the outstanding funeral expenses. The guest of honor at the Fundraiser will be the Right Hon. Raila Amollo Odinga together with Key Civil Society Leaders.
Your presence and generous contribution will go further in assisting the family expend the expenses and to give GPO a heroes’ send off. The burial is scheduled for Friday 20th March 2009 in Holo Village of kisumu Rural Constituency. We look forward to your presence at the fund raiser.
Note: The Outstanding expenses include (Hospital Bill for the Mother, Family welfare kitty, Transport to Kisumu, Final Obituary, Meals for visitors at the Funeral) Donations in kind are also encouraged.
Cheques: For Organisations wishing to write cheques: An account has been availed for the purpose of GPO’s Trust Fund and Mothers’s welfare: The details are(Youth Agenda A/C No. 1023144, Barclays Bank of Kenya)
The Story Of The “Black Kid” With A “White Father”
KISS Agents who have been working on “Project Black Kid” have code-named her Madam Changanya, a daring Kenyan girl who has perplexed readers in two countries, Finland and Sweden. She arrived in Finland about four years ago after a successful visa application which was engineered by a Kenyan Pastor in Stockholm. Changanya’s mother, who is understood to be a saved Christian, is a sister in Law to the Pastor and when the good Pastor noticed that Madam Changanya was wasting away in Kenya with nothing constructive happening in her life, the Pastor decided to “make ways” for her to come to Europe so that she could try her luck in the process of looking for greener pastures.
The kid was expected to be mixed but it was black
One day, the Pastor invited Changanya for a visit to Sweden. The Pastor is very social and he had made friends with the neighbors. One of his best friends is Mathias Ericsson, a single jungu dude “with two feet on the ground” but without any romantic attachments. When Changanya came to visit the Pastor, it did not take long before Mathias began to heat up to her charms. The Pastor is not stupid so when he noticed that love was beginning to brew in a pot that he could himself recognize, he began to give room for nature to begin taking its own cause.
Both Mathias and Changanya then began to link up slowly as the Pastor remained in the background to advise Changanya on how to go about with Mathias because Changanya did not know or understand “the white way” of courtship. The Pastor allegedly advised her not to be in a hurry with the dude and to play her cards in a way that the affair would develop in a “natural way”.
For example, she was advised to accept coffee outings, movie treats and other outdoor activities “to get to know” her prey before moving anywhere close to holding of hands or (worse still) kissing. She was however encouraged to be popping up with flowers, sending romantic cards, sexy smses and other related communications.
The Pastor knew that Changanya had Mapepe at the back of her restless mind and, according to intelligence gathered from people around the Pastor who understood the matrix, the Pastor was worried that if Changanya moved too fast thinking that she would be able to corner the jungu, the Project would backfire and Changanya would lose.
The two therefore exchanged contacts as they began to communicate through email and telephone. In the meantime, Changanya was under constant guidance by the Pastor who also answered all her questions related to pushing with a jungu.
After considerable exchanges, the relationship began to develop further. Psychologically, Mathias was already hooked while for Changanya, it was just a matter of time before the relationship would advance to the stage where she would begin to distribute the goods to cement things up and she did not wait for long.
One day when she was on a “Pastor visit” to Sweden, things went overboard when she hooked up with Mathias. Bodies began to heat up and when Changanya noticed that Mathias had already approached “a point of no return” with his talala almost breathing fire, she began to play her cards with more calculated steps and soon, Mathias was on the goods – fingers, lips and flesh.
Changanya’s possibilities and “Obamalovics”
Changanya was going through “baptism of white love” and according to leaks from her friends who unknowingly released some copies of the “inside edition” to an undercover KISS agent, she was very excited because she understood that mapepe was knocking on the door and that what she needed to do was to open as wide as possible.
When it was over, Changanya knew that her star would soon be shinning in Sweden because at long last, light had emerged at the end of the dark European tunnel of Mapepe.
In the meantime, the Pastor could only say Hellelujah at the good news because eventually, God had decided to unite these two souls to begin a journey of love that would hopefully, end at the Office of Immigration to open the way for even better things to come. The Pastor prayed for the new couple and asked the Almighty to give them strength to discover what lay underneath this wonderful connection between a white dude and a beautiful Kenyan lady who was beaming with love.
All systems were in favour of Changanya because the anti-African Aids propaganda in Sweden was at its lowest while Barack Obama, a Kenyan-American, was already making news with his Presidential campaign in the United States.
The advantage with the Obama campaign was that it was fashionable for Swedes to have or associate with Kenyan friends and at the romantic level, Kenyan bachelors reported “booming business” in the trade of exchanging white Swedish girls picked up at various Swedish watering holes.
The catch phrase with the girls who had fallen into the trap was something like “Hey, we could produce an Obama” and it sounded real because the real Obama was out there convincing jungus in their millions with just three words – “Yes we can”.
Some Kenyan bachaleros twisted almost every Omaba phrase to their advantage and at one point, a Swedish blondie admitted that she got convinced by a Kenyan dude whom, after some tuning over a drink convinced her that he is the romantic change the girl has been waiting for. It made a lot of sense to her because she had never experienced true love, leave alone articulating with an African bull, a dream-like experience that had always electrified her system with curiosity whenever she spotted an inter-racial couple. As Obama boomed in the United States, she was just a heart-beat away from a man from the land of Obama. She had been given a dose of what a bachalero called “Obamalovics”
She does not believe in God but the Kenyan bachalero took her (pace by pace) through the lessons and convinced her that although change had come to America, God had come to Stockholm to change her romantic life through the bachalero forever. Once her goods were consumed and they were kind of getting stale, the Kenyan moved on because the “Kenya-blondie market” in Stockholm was saturated as Obama talk filled the Swedish national media.
Visit to Immigration and landing of Mapepe
Changanya’s mother also lives in Sweden and, just like the Pastor, she was happy that her daughter was making new and progressive steps. With time, Mathias submitted to the whims of emotion and made a declaration that they were in love. He began to behave like a person who had a woman in her life while he also increased his sense of responsibility. Because he is financially endowed, Mathias began paying rent for Changanya in Finland as other plans to develop their affair was also looked into. One day, the good news arrived.
The couple decided that they were made for one another and that they needed to make further plans on how they would both move into the future without fear. Changanya’s paper status needed to be looked into and when the matter was explored further in the bedroom, they signed a romantic accord to the effect that they would both move to the Department of Immigration to announce that they had made a decision to unite and become one flesh.
With time, Changanya got her first stamp as a Resident prompting a huge celebration. Mathias, the Pastor, Changanya’s mother and friends were all elated as people marveled at what love could do. It was after the first segment of Mapepe landed that things began to change without the knowledge of Mathias.
Changanya continued to commute to and from Finland but in between, she had also fallen in love with a Kenyan bull in Finland. In our next installment, find out how Changanya began to double-deal and how she later began to sell the goods in Finland “to increase income” as Mathias worked hard to pay her rent and to hope for a future full of happiness and bliss.
Okoth Osewe
DISCLAIMER: Some stories appearing in KSB may resemble real life situations. The stories are for humour and readers are advised not to read “too much” into them or to link them with real people, dead or alive. KSB will not take responsibility in situations where a reader gets into trouble after trying to link a story to a real life situation. Do not call us to try and establish whether a character in a story is so and so.
Report From Raila Book Presentation In Uppsala
On Monday, March 9th, Mr. Okoth Osewe gave a presentation of his new book titled: “Raila Odinga’s Stolen Presidency: Consequences and The Future of Kenya” at the Dag Hammarskjöld Foundation in Uppsala. The invitation had been extended by the Foundation’s Director, Dr. Henning Melber, who is renowned for his research interest in Africa and is currently at the forefront in analyzing the current China-Africa Relations.
A participant asking a question
The presentation began at 17:15 after the Foundation treated the participants to tea and coffee. The audience consisted of Europeans, Africans and one North American who all have research interest in Kenya.
Mr. Osewe spent around forty minutes to walk the audience through the various events that led to the bungled 2007 presidential election in Kenya. He gave a summary of why President Mwai Kibaki lost election to Raila Odinga and how elections were rigged to open the way for chaos and mayhem in Kenya.
Thereafter, Dr. Melber requested the participants to field questions and give comments. One German student known as Goerg, who had completed his MA thesis on the issue of the post-election violence that began when the results were delayed, wanted to know whether the ensuing violence had been spontaneous or planned in advance. Of interest to him was the “ethnic angle” of the violence.
Mr. Osewe had to go back into the history of landlessness in Kenya that has affected the Kikuyu in Central province and how the process of land re-distribution after the colonial revolution was hampered by an organized political gang of land grabbers led by the late President Jomo Kenyatta.
Mr. Osewe stressed that Kenya’s land problem was worse than Zimbabwe’s or South Africa’s. Although the Kalenjin had lived side by side with the Kikuyu for many years, he said that the ruling elite pitted them against each other for political gain whenever necessary.
He cited land evictions in the 90s that also affected other tribes because former dictator Daniel arap Moi had instigated them in order to argue that political pluralism would lead to ethnic clashes in Kenya. The post-election violence of 2007 was the worst ever because so many Kikuyu people in the Rift Valley lost virtually all their possessions after being driven out by the Kalenjin.
Georg wanted to know whether Raila Odinga’s Orange Democratic Movement (ODM) had participated in the violence. Mr. Osewe clarified that the violence had various levels: organized violence, spontaneous violence especially in urban areas, retaliatory violence and defensive violence. He said that there was violence that was instigated by the State especially in ODM’s strong-holds and that resulted in extra-judicial executions in the streets, violence that emanated from gangs of ODM supporters responding to election rigging, violence from organized Mungiki gangs mobilized by PNU in retaliatory attacks and violence that erupted out of the need for self defence in various areas after people were attacked by “enemy tribes” and security forces.
Mr. Osewe said that the issue of gangs emerging to engage in political violence in Kenya was not new. He said that what was new was the extent and propensity of the violence. He said that it is fashionable for top politicians in Kenya to maintain gangs of youths routinely used to conduct political thuggery and cited examples of the Jeshi la Mzee that was allegedly maintained by the former dictator Daniel arap Moi, the Taliban that was loyal to ODM and Mungiki terror gang that was seen to have been on the side of PNU after election rigging.
Problem of IDP Return
Another female researcher wanted to know the role of civil society and the media today in raising political awareness in Kenya. Mr. Osewe answered that since there is no official Opposition in the country, these two sectors act as watchdogs in unearthing grand corruption within Government, sensitizing Kenyans on their rights and keeping the government on toes.
Ms Rose Adero making a point
He said that the two sectors are trying to fill the vacuum left behind due to lack of an official opposition but added that both the media and the civil society have a serious limitation because they cannot compete for power and present alternative political programs that could change Kenya unless they transformed themselves into political parties.
Because of this limitation, Mr. Osewe said that Opposition movement in Kenya was leaderless while he advanced the view that if election was called in Kenya today, parties sitting in government would end up forming a new coalition to begin a new round of disappointment of the Kenyan people. He called for the setting up of a credible opposition in Kenya that could challenge the government and that could address the question of the Kenyan revolution to change a rotten system that, he said, has not been working for the last 45 years.
Dr. Melber then mentioned the recent gunning down of two top non-governmental organization (NGO) officials in broad daylight as a sad chapter in the country’s history.
A female Canadian researcher, who was recently in Kenya for six months, then described the sad situation of the Internally Displaced Persons (IDPs) in camps and wanted to know Mr. Osewe’s position concerning their plight.
Responding to the question, Mr. Osewe said that the peace deal that was negotiated by Dr. Kofi Annan did not address the thorny issue of land ownership and landlessness in the Rift Valley which has been simmering for decades. He said that IDPs will never return to their homes without grass root solutions that can sustain peace even though majority of them had bought land legitimately in the region.
He said that the peace deal that was signed by Kibaki and Raila was a political document that did not take the dynamics of the situation on the ground into consideration. According to the author, the deal was signed to serve the interest of the Kenyan ruling class that was in a hurry to get their hands on State resources to start looting the economy and not in the interest of IDPs who were anxious to get back to their homes.
Some Kenyans pose after the function
According to Mr. Osewe, there could be stage-managed and artificial shows of IDP returns in the Rift Valley played for the media but that these kinds of shows will never erode the fact that the return of IDPs needs a better and well thought out strategy that will address the fears of the IDPs and the real reasons why they were evicted from their lands.
Ms. Rose Adero, a progressive Kenyan resident in Uppsala, said that she had watched a promising segment on a recent episode of “Inside Africa” on CNN showing a group of women called “Mama Amani”, which is Swahili for “Mother Peace”. These are female IDPs who have taken a personal initiative to team up and work on their losses without bothering about their tribes or ethnic background. These are in the Rift Valley (around Rumuruti) and had lost family members and property so they seek to eke out a living on petty trade to survive.
Dr. Melber then ended by saying that Ms. Adero’s narration gave hope and that it had ended the presentation on a good note. People then mingled and some book copies were sold. Many thanks to Dr. Melber for the invitation, and his colleagues, Karin and Karim, who designed the presentation poster. Some Kenyans travelled all the way from Stockholm to participate in the presentation.
They included Mr. Martin Ngatia, Mrs. Ann Okoth, Mr. Odhiambo Opee Junior and Mr. Munala wa Munala (who was the cameraman). A Kenyan gentleman from the Coast who has been based in Uppsala since 1972 was also present and praised the presentation.
Dr. Jared Odero
Shemeji Entangles a Married Kenyan Man
At a time when the thinking at KSB was that 2009 would be a scandal-free year, Kenya-Stockholm scandals continue to mount and a long Q is on the door way. In another developing story that is probably too sensitive to be mentioned, Shemeji Mrembo has caught the attention of a married Kenyan man who has kids to boot. It is understood that the guy (whom we can call Mazunguko) and who has fallen for Shemeji’s charms has just survived a scandal with another woman after his wife pardoned him for “slipping” and betraying their relationship.
As Shemeji sits on the snow in a moment of painful meditation, she sees nothing but "papers" and a future full of bliss!
Shemeji has no papers and the sweet lure from the guy is that may be, something “paper-like” may come out of the relationship and the girl is hooked. The source said that Mazunguko has convinced the lady that he is in crisis with his wife and that he is looking for a new wife and Shemeji seem to be licking the ice-cream because it is known that she has “un-padlocked her holy shrine” for the guy to zoom in at “sms notice”. Cute Shemeji came from Kenya recently and one thing she can do is that she can dance.
When she swung her madiabas at a disco where Mazunguko first saw her, some contacts reported that Mazunguko became so confused that minutes later, he convinced his wife, drove her home from the disco before he came back and took Shemeji’s contact. It is not known how the wife bought the bait to be dumped at home because he came back anyway.
Those who know Mazunguko also know him as a “sampler” who specializes in “ladies without papers”. The tale goes that he knows how to get into their brains very fast to confuse them so that they can begin to distribute stuff which he then consumes discreetly.
Sources told KSB that he enjoys the honey as long as it takes but once there is clear danger that the scandal may explode, he dumps the lady then threatens to report her to police if she opens her mouth. The tactic has been working like a well oiled engine and in the process, he has lost track of the colour of masiruari he has pulled down ever since he invented the trick.
The guy’s main agenda is to sample Shemeji’s goods as he compares them with the brands the wife is keeping. The “day-time shots” mainly take place at cheap Stockholm hotels after the guy’s wife has been given a dose that the hubby is at work making money for the family so that they can travel to Kenya and live big for two weeks. He then returns in the evening looking exhausted after “work-outs” at the hotel with Shemeji.
Bwana to split with Bibi
The couple were discovered by a Kenyan lady who cleans at a Hotel and who bumped into them as they were strolling on the corridor after emerging from a room. The guy is reported to have panicked especially when he discovered that the Kenyan worker was on her way to the room to tidy it up because the couple had booked it for a “rest” although they overstayed for 20 minutes causing the “room attendant” to catch them just as they were leaving.
According to our informer who also collected some graphics, the lady was putting on a dark-red pelerine while she hang a light brown shoulder bag as the guy swung in a grey winter overcoat and blue jeans trouser.
Although the Kenyan room attendant knows the guy to be married, she does not know the mistress. The bed in the room was apparently “very shuffled”, a pillow was at the wrong end of the bed while the couple had also left some evidence in the bin by way of condos.
After being caught red-handed, the guy did manage to talk to the Kenyan lady to keep the secret, saying that “there was nothing serious” between them. The guy apparently warned the lady that if she opened her mouth, he would report her to the Hotel management that she was exposing the secrets of guests and that she would be fired.
The two apparently agreed to keep the secret although the lady demanded that the guy withdraw the threat of reporting to the boss, arguing that she didn’t care whether she was fired or not because she was doing a “shit job”. As the two tried to reach a deal, Shemeji is reported to have walked along to await for her man at the lobby.
Unfortunately, when the lady reached home, she was so itchy with the story that she whispered to the Mkenya she was staying with. “What? Eti Mazunguko was with a girl in a hotel yet she has such a nice and kind woman who has been with her for such a long time?”, wondered the Kenyan as his mind raced to KSB.
From there, the story began to find its way on the phone lines as it also began to take the dimension of “this is just between me and you and don’t quote me anywhere”. It was soon picked up by Kenya-Stockholm’s “Sambaza Network” and just three hours after it began “to walk around”, a KISS agent picked it up through the air waves and here we are.
According to the inside edition, the love portion has it that the bwana will soon break up with his bibi so as to give way for Shemeji to zoom in. Then, to address Shemeji’s “paper crisis”, she will be ballooned within a very short time after which the new lovers will dash to the Immigration department for an application.
Shemeji has been talking to some of her closest contacts who have advised her “to do anything” within her means to get mapepe. The group has been consoling her that she doesn’t have to mind about breaking another family because the couple will not be the first to “hit the big D anyway so?” and that life will have to go on.
In fact, Shemeji has been trying her luck at selling stuff sokoni although her main problem is that she has not been initiated by the experts because she has not yet made a declaration. She still passes for the “fresh Kenyan girl just arrived” and she doesn’t want to spoil her image yet.
Shemeji to be ballooned “as part of strategy”
According to contacts in Shemeji’s Network, she has been told that Kenya-Stockholm nikubaya and that if she cannot adjust and face the reality in the battle field as she fights for mappepe, atanusa ndege and that the dream of a good life in Sweden will evaporate.
Some Kenyans have warned her that Mazunguko will simply go round her loins then dump her but she doesn’t care because she has adopted a new philosophy – that if you don’t try, it doesn’t come. She is also reported to be singing verses like “I have nothing to lose” and this phylosophico-musical combination has resulted in a tough attitude that no one seem to be able to change.
A better plan which has apparently been weaved has it that Mazunguko could first balloon her before the break-up with the wife then as the tummy swells (or after a few weeks), the guy begins to operate openly with Shemeji to show that “something is happening” in order to create “a crisis” between the wife and the guy. Shemeji is waiting for that moment when they will dump condos and she is convinced that her luck is just around the corner. She doesn’t know the real Mazunguko!
The plan has it that the “swelling tummy crisis” can then be used to trigger a separation so that Shemeji can move in a new bed room where the two can begin to design the future and live happily ever after. For Shemeji, she is not dying to be a mother although her attitude is that if it takes a child for mapepe to land, she will even go an extra mile and name the child after the guy if need be.
Shemeji is convinced that the plan will work because the guy has been cleaver enough to send his closest pal (they have had many deals with him) to work on Shemeji’s psychology by pumping her with stories that the guy is in deep crisis with the wife and that if she plays her cards well, she will go thru.
The strategy includes occasional phone calls to Shemeji by the guy’s pal “with news” that the guy has had a serious tiff with the wife when the guy has actually been shopping with the poor woman. The two Kenyans are Mafiosi when it comes to lady games and they work as a team.
The big question
The truth is that the guy will never leave his wife for some reasons although at the moment, the wife is unaware about the underground movements with Shemeji. In the meantime, the guy is exploiting the information vacuum by exploring Shemeji’s every vital territory at various secret joints.
The question now is how long Shemeji will continue to swallow before she discovers that she will never be ballooned to pave the way for some serious paper work. Another issue is what will happen if the guy’s wife discovers that he is playing with Shemeji since the thing is getting out at an alarming rate.
Some people say that Shemeji is so cute that when you see her (u have 2B a man), you begin to behave like someone who is high on amphetamine or something like that. Eti she is the type you follow with your eyes everywhere as long as she is in the room. We have given up because the scandals in Kenya-Stockholm will never end. May be, KSB should be closed down so that all Kenyans can gather at some kyrkogård and burry all remaining scandals.
In another development, a Kenyan woman was beaten by a man at a Kenyan Party and police had to be called. The woman, who has called KSB and who wants the story published complete with her name, underwent medical treatment following the smash-up. The case is soon coming up in court.
Okoth Osewe
We Are Not Mungiki
Okoiti, we have never met, but please let the world know the following before we are executed: Mr. Oguta, the Security Officer at the University of Nairobi, who snatched a flashdisk from Charles Odera (3rd Year Law) belonging to Mr. Ojijo (4th Year Law) on Friday afternoon, has called and given Mr. Nengo (a recently graduated Law student UoN) an ultimatum to hand over the computer harddisk belonging to Mr. Ojijo because “Watu wakubwa wanaitaka”.
Mr. Ojijo and five other students are in hidding fearing for their lives because they edited the raw materials on extrajudicial killings that Oscar Foundation presented to the UN. By doing this they are among the few living people who know exactly what is going on. They know even that material that was too sensitive to contain in the report that was handed over, and which could only be handed over to the proposed Truth Justice and Recociliation Commission or similar. So they have reason to fear for their lives, especially after the mother of one of them was visited in her home in Western Kenya by two unknown people on Friday morning asking after him since his phone had been off since the assassinations. Our innocent friends are in hiding with their phones off and fearing for their lives. A death threat coming from 0752646845 has been sent to all of them.
We are students at the UoN who have started an above board political movement called The Liberators. We want to demand new political leadership and a different political culture in the country. We plan to register it with the authorities. Among the many organisations we had approached for support to help get the movement off the ground was the Oscar Foundation (where the late Oscar and GPO worked). They responded enthiusiastically. The two thought our idea was good and agreed to support us. As we interacted, and as part of raising money for the movement, Oscar Foundation gave part-time work to some of us. That’s how some of us ended up working on the sensitive dossier.
Oscar Foundation was to sponsor a retreat in Limuru last Saturday but the two leaders were killed on Thursday before the event. Killing them outside the UoN has its very chilling symbolism for us.
At the Limuru retreat we were to plan to fan out from UoN to other universities and colleges around the country to create a national platform of students to demand political accountability. We feel 2012 will be too late and will belong to the same muggers of the nation who occupy both sides of the political divide if no people’s movements arises now to demand change in the way our politicians are ruining the country.
Interestingly, on Friday after the double murders, the VC, Prof. G. O. Magoha summoned some of our leaders and accused us of recruiting students to join Mungiki, and threatened us with expulsion. This is as outrageous as anything can be. We just want to see an accountable political culture in this country that has no room for Mungiki, rogue politicians, or any thugs for that matter.
Oscar had recently told some of us that he was planning to leave Oscar Foundation to GPO and move on to other things. Since he was Kikuyu and had easily been branded a Mungiki, he thought that leaving the foundation to GPO who did not come from Central Province would make it difficult for the authorities to frame the organisation a Mungiki front. Oscar was convinced that with him out of the picture the Mungiki tug would not hold, and the Oscar Foundation would go about its work without police harrassment.
Truth be told, Oscar was not Mungiki. He was not and always talked against them whenever it came up during our discussions. He juat wanted proper mechanism for identifying Mungiki to be put in place by the State, so that Mungiki does not become an excuse for killing others, be they oponents, rivals, etc. He also wanted then heard before they were condemned so that a solution could be found after the intelligence is perused. Oscar’s biggest fear was that the likes of Mungiki and Sabaot Land Defence Force would grow in strength by recruiting millions of desperate youth, join forces, and take over power if politicians let he country go to the dogs the way they are doing, as the people urged them on or watched on the sidelines.
The very fact that we are running for cover from State security structures should tell you how far down the ladder of civilisation this country has been brought by our rogue politicians. Is it any wonder that they and not us are the ones who hire the services of Mungiki and other gangs around the country to push thier wicked political agenda that bodes ill for this country? Who then is MUNGIKI?
John
Saanda Scandals Attract “Stockholm City” Newspaper
George does not know what to do after being conned by Saanda
The case of a Kenyan travel agent who has been reported and debated at KSB in connection with swindling travelers has eventually been covered by Stockholm City newspaper, the biggest morning newspaper in Stockholm. The following is an excerpt of the web version of today’s story and the link is provided below. The story has been translated into English for KSB readers.
In September, George Neaime bought two plane tickets to Manila, Philippines. George paid 17,800 kronor to Saanda travels directly through the owner and got the tickets. On Travel day, George phoned him up for a luggage case. He got the same message as many others had:
“He said that the tickets were invalid and that there was no point to travel to the airport. I stood there and my wife with our pre-packed bags”, says George Neaime.
The owner promised George money back for the first tickets if he bought two new ones. The couple was “desperate to get on their way to the family”. They borrowed together 18 000 SEK and eventually travelled. Back home again, George has neither seen the money nor Saanda owners. George Neaime is sad, offended and angry. He has notified police.
“I want my money back but do not know what to do when he cannot be reached”, he said.
Mikael Hellmyrs
“Odinga’s Stolen Presidency” Book Review
An explosive book about Kenya’s December 2007 bungled election has been launched in Stockholm. The book, Raila Odinga’s Stolen Presidency: Consequences and The Future of Kenya written by Mr. Okoth Osewe, a Kenyan author, takes the position that the December 2007 election was rigged by the Samuel Kivuitu-led Electoral Commission of Kenya (ECK) in favor of Mr. Mwai Kibaki who was immediately sworn in as President in a hurriedly convened secret ceremony at State House Nairobi on Sunday December 30th 2007. The disputed election precipitated a crisis that led to the slaughter of an estimated 1,500 Kenyans and creation of 350,000 internal refugees.
According to the book, the rigging of presidential election in Kenya was masterminded by the corrupt “Kikuyu ruling class” that had formed an impenetrable Mafia cartel around Kibaki and that worked in cahoots with ECK to allegedly steal the vote to hand Kibaki victory.
Detailed backgrounds of a group of “Fat cats who kidnapped Kibaki’s Presidency” are given in the book with top names featuring Dr. Joe Wanjui, a long time Kibaki ally, Kiraitu Murungi, Minister of Energy, John Michuki, Minister of Environment, Chris Murungaru, former Internal Security Minister, Francis Muthaura, Head of Civil Service and Secretary to the Cabinet and Njenga Karume, former Defence minister. The “fat cats” are painted as corrupt and blamed for having shielded the President soon after the December 2002 election in order to maintain Kikuyu hegemony on power, promote corruption and perpetuate tribalism in government.
Breaking News: Kenyan Lady In Crisis After Child Birth
A Kenyan woman who has been having a relationship with a white Swedish man is in crisis after giving birth to a dark skinned African baby which has been rejected by the Swede because the kid “is too black”.
The lady has apparently been “double-dealing” by distributing the valuable goods to both a secret African boyfriend and the Swede while posing like it is the Swede who is the man of the house.
The crisis has set Kenya-Stockholm “hot gossip channels” in overdrive. It is being said that a Kenyan “Brother in Christ” facilitated the connection between the Kenyan lady and the Swedish guy while some channels have told KSB that the brother is a leading suspect in the puzzle of the black kid.
Okoth Osewe
About KSB
New Book On Kenya December 2007 Election Crisis: In Circulation
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