Kenya Stockholm Blog

KSB Readers Fall For “Purity Recalled” Prank

It was April fools day and KSB wasn’t going to be left behind. After looking around for something that readers could swallow easily, we decided to go for Ambassador Purity Muhindi, the most attacked Kenyan diplomat at KSB and probably the most hated (by her own people) Kenyan Ambassador ever to occupy the Embassy.

“Recalling Purity” is an event many Kenyans in Stockholm have been waiting for because of the stream of scandals she has nourished at the Embassy, the arrogance with which she looks at Kenyans, her negative attitude towards the Kenyan community here and her “On top of the world” pantomimes.

To give the prank authority, it was sourced “from the Ministry of Foreign Affairs” and who else was gonna think that News from this Office could be unreliable?

At first, I wanted to put some explanations as to why Purity was recalled but I remembered that this could give the prank away because very little, if not, no explanations are normally given when an Ambassador is recalled unless under very special circumstances eg a diplomatic dispute. In fact, Majority of them are normally recalled after their tour of duty has ended so to strengthen the prank, there had to be no explanation for Purity’s recall!

Of cause! Some speculation was thrown into the prank to jog reader’s minds and make it look like it was possible for Purity to be recalled any way. What with the scandals she has been managing at the embassy? To get it right, the recent “Kinyua container scandal” was weaved into the prank to spice it up and get the brain of Wakenya moving in the right direction – she had been recalled!

Kibaki was meeting his Cabinet abruptly at Harambee House in Nairobi and if Purity had suddenly been recalled, may be, something happened at the meeting that did not favour purity. This coincidence was good because, going by the reactions, it helped put the recall into proper context.

To give the prank a jab of seriousness, an unnamed and fake Official from the Foreign Affairs Office was brought in to make some comments – that the Ministry was in the process of “reststructuring” to accommodate the new power sharing arrangement with ODM.

The Officer was made not to comment on the actual news about Purity’s recall because this kinda response is typical with government officers especially when the matter at hand is delicate and the recall of an Ambassador could be delicate!

CHOKING WITH LAUGHTER
Next was to create a decoy to justify why it is just Purity who appear to have been recalled – Oh yes, ODM has been negotiating diplomatic positions and Scandinavia was ear-marked by the Party as a scoop because of “its strategic” location. That really worked as three Kenyans called to say that they knew ODM would fix the Ambassador as a matter of priority and even make sure that the next Kenyan Ambassador to Scandinavia is an ODM-er.

It was now almost done. But there was one part of the prank that needed a face lift. “Purity’s recall” was gonna be big news and some Kenyans were likely to call the Embassy to try and sniff what was going on. Besides, the April fools day was also here and checking a prank was just a phone-call away. The solution?

KSB had already made the phone call for readers but the Embassy was unaware about the news. To ensure that no suspicious Kenyan called the Embassy as a matter of follow up, the prank had it that KSB was advised to call later so that the Embassy could confirm the news. That was it. If anybody still called the Embassy, the prank was safe because the reply would be that the Embassy knew nothing and that is what KSB was also saying. Since KSB had called the Foreign Affairs Office in Nairobi, logic would have it that KSB was ahead of the Embassy (as usual).

To crown it all, the mood of anti-Purity Kenyans in Stockholm had to be captured so the prank included a segment saying that the news “will be a big relief” to Kenyans who have been unhappy with the Ambassador.

To sell the prank, an advert was fixed for it and this was very exciting. An SMS was sent to Kenyans in Stockholm that Purity had been recalled while a number was left behind for Kenyans to pass comments because KSB was doing an “Opinion survey” about the recall. The prank had been packaged and Kenyans have been calling KSB like never before to express “satisfaction”.

“Its one of the best news since the beginning of the year” said a Kenyan. Purity is a Kikuyu but there is one happy Kikuyu chap who called and said that he didn’t mind the fact that Purity had been recalled even though she is Kikuyu. “I knew it was going to happen”, he said. He even added that he was very happy and would screw his girl mbaya sana as I choked with laughter, almost being taken away on a wheel chair! I imagined that the prank must have made the girl’s night!

Another message said: “Purity should be recalled because her mission has been marred with scandals right from the start. From her actions, she has proved to be tribally biased in dealing with a section of Kenyans. Why did she favour Mrs Kiboi by employing her at the Embassy? Most likely because she is from her tribe. She is also anti-social and inhumane given the way she dealt with the 2 specific cases of former Embassy employees. Regards”.

The strongest anti-Purity forces actually went down to town to celebrate! I was invited to come but I was busy. I know that many Kenyans will be disappointed that this was just an April fools prank after they adjusted themselves psychologically to welcome a new Purity-free era at the Embassy.

Sentiments expressed after the prank indicate that Purity needs to go because Kenyans do not want her in Stockholm. We hope that the struggle against Purity will continue and that one day, the Purity menace will be history in Kenya-Stockholm.

Kenya Times had their own prank – that Kofi Annan was returning to Kenya to sort out the Cabinet stalemate between ODM and PNU! KSB was just on time!

Okoth Osewe

April 1, 2008 - Posted by makozewe | News & Analysis