Kenya Stockholm Blog

Humour: “Stockholm Is Complicated”

Ocassionally, you meet a Kenyan in the streets of Stockholm who appears to know you quite well even if you can’t put a name on the face immediately. After the normal “sasa” greetings, you take care not to embarrass yourself by asking “but who are you?”. The smile you received during the contact was just too big and you continue with the conversation as if everything is normal. “Na umelost”, you mutter as you ask yourself silently “but where did I ,meet this bloke?”.

“Poa” the answer comes. By now, you realize that you have totally failed to identify this countryman but you still want to play your cards as though everything is ipso-facto. Then, you decide to try your luck. “But where did we last meet?”, you pose. You are looking for some location so that you can begin to think where you could place your contact in the huge map of Kenyan friends.

“Ahh! Si we met at Norsborg the other day when Wakenya had a Party. Vipi wewe?”, comes the answer. You become careful and you decide to go slowly not to appear as though you still don’t know this chap. Then you pretend. “Ahhh! Now I remember”. You pray that the Mwananchi doesn’t ask you “what is my name?” because the truth is that you have no answer.

“That’s raaiitt”, you squeak back as if you have hit the jack-pot. By now, your brain is working overtime, trying to resolve the question as to “who is this Mkenya?”. Instead of just being honest and saying that “Well, I have forgotten who you are”, you move on. “So, how is life?”. You have now started a conversation with someone who is still a stranger. Why are some Wakenya just too shy?

“Well, life is fine. Tunaskuma tu kama kawaida”, comes the answer. Then, you don’t know what to say next because you are still hiding the fact that this chap is actually a stranger to you. Suddenly, you try to test if this stranger of a Kenyan is connected to anybody you could relate to and who could help with identification.

“So what’s up. I have been out of touch for quite sometime”, you dare. You were at the Alby Party last week-end and you are saying that you have been out of touch. In fact, you were even “out of order” at the Party because you started swallowing too early.

“Ahh! We wacha. You can’t be out of touch. I saw you at the Party last week-end”. You realize that you are almost being caught. “Ohhh, yes yes yes. You were there”, you puke although you still question yourself “who the hell is this?”

The truth is that this Mwananchi had just come from Kenya and had just been introduced to you by another Kenyan friend. You took his number and promised to call back because you were supposed to link him up with some contact who could fix a job. The reason why you cannot remember your countryman is that you simply wanted to appear important and connected so you made an empty promise and since the chap does not matter in your life, you forgot about him.

“You were to call me about the job connection. What happened?”, he asks. “Yaa… That’s correct”. You have been making a lot of such empty promises and you need a really good explanation to survive.

“You know, my mobile got lost together with your number. I have just fixed a new phone although I have my old number because I registered it”, you lie then study the reaction to see if the thing has been swallowed. “Pole sana”. You are relieved because at least it has worked.

“Let me get your number again so that we can keep in touch”, you propose a solution then proceed to re-enter the number in your mobile. The truth is that you will never call this Mwananchi because if he thinks that you can fix a job, then he still has a long way to go in Stocky. You know too well that even the labour office is having difficulties in fixing jobs and so you are the last option. Any Mkenya who asks you for a job is immediately classified as “being out of touch with reality”. Your consolation is that Stockholm is complicated and that “everybody is for himself or herself”.

Okoth Osewe     

May 23, 2007 Posted by makozewe | Humour | Leave a Comment